Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * What is the ruling on someone who causes trouble between an engaged couple so that he will call it off and she can snag him?

There is a woman who caused trouble between two people who were about
to get married. She had intervened to resolve a problem between them,
but she transmitted bad talk between them, saying that each of them
had said bad things about the other. So they split up and there was a
trade of insults and bad talk between them because of the words that
had been falsely transmitted between them.
Then the young man went and proposed to the girl who had caused
trouble between him and the first girl whom he had wanted to marry.
What is the ruling before Allah? Will there come a day when this man
will realise that he unfairly mistreated the first girl or not?
Published Date: 2015-04-07
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Causing trouble between Muslims is a major sin that corrupts
intentions in people's hearts, spoils relationships between people,
and spreads mischief in the land.
It says inal-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah(5/291):
It is prohibited to cause trouble and spoil relationships among
Muslims, for two reasons:
1. in order to preserve unity among the Muslims
2. out of respect for their dignity, because Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):"And hold fast, all of
you together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. this Qur'an), and be not
divided among yourselves" [Aal 'Imraan 3:103].
Hence reconciling between people is one of the best of good deeds, and
causing division among people is one of the gravest of major sins, as
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Shall I
not tell you of something that is better than fasting, prayer and
giving charity? " They said: Yes indeed. He said: "Reconciling between
people, for causing division among people is the 'shaver' (that shaves
one of religious commitment)."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2509); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
inSaheeh al-Jaami'(2595).
Hence the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade
seeking out the faults of the Muslims, and he forbade backbiting,
malicious gossip, suspicion, mutual hatred, mutual envy and everything
that may lead to causing trouble among Muslims. End quote.
This prohibition is emphasised if causing trouble between people is
done to spoil that which could have been the means of bringing them
together, instilling love between them and uniting them, such as
marriage.
Secondly:
Causing trouble between people usually involves telling lies,
backbiting, malicious gossip and slander, all of which are major sins.
Please see the answers to questions no. 23328, 101776and 99554for
information on the negative impact of these blameworthy
characteristics and how to repent from them.
Thirdly:
It is haraam for a Muslim woman to cause trouble between a man and his
fiancée so that she may snag him for herself, for this comes under the
heading of bad conduct and blameworthy characteristics. Al-Bukhaari
(6601) and Muslim (1408) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "A man should not propose marriage to a woman to whom
his brother has already proposed and he should not outbid his brother.
A man should not marry a woman if he is already married to her
paternal aunt or maternal aunt. A woman should not ask for her sister
to be divorced so as to deprive her of what is rightfully hers and so
that she may be married in her stead; rather she will have what Allah
has decreed for her."
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What this hadith means is that it is prohibited for a non-mahram woman
to ask a man to divorce his wife and marry her instead, so that she
gains the maintenance, kind treatment, intimacy and so on that
belonged to the divorced woman.
End quote fromSharh Saheeh Muslim(9/193)
Al-Haafiz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This is quoted as evidence for the prohibition on a woman proposing to
a man who has already proposed to another woman. This hadith makes the
ruling concerning men the same as the ruling concerning women with
regard to proposing marriage. The scenario is: a woman proposes to a
man, and he responds to that proposal, then another woman comes and
encourages him to marry her, and tries to make him lose interest in
the one who came before her, whom he has already agreed to marry.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(9/200)
Fourthly:
The issue does not have to do with whether all the parties involved in
this issue know what is happening or not, because worldly matters may
be hidden. But on the Day when all secrets will be exposed before the
Lord of the Worlds, and what was hidden in people's hearts becomes
manifest, what answer will those who caused trouble and spread
malicious gossip have before Allah?
What the woman who has done this must do is hasten to repent, and part
of complete repentance is putting right that which she has spoiled and
admitting to each party what she said about the other, so that they
will understand the situation, then if they want to they can get back
together and go ahead with their marriage, or if they want to they can
remain as they are now.
If it is too difficult to state what really happened, then that can be
done by way of hinting or via a third party, striving to set things
straight and explain what really happened.
And Allah knows best.

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * What are the defects that must be disclosed to a potential marriage partner?

I have been suffering from a mental illness for several years. For a
while, I have been praying regularly, reading Qur'an, remembering
Allah (dhikr), giving charity and helping people a great deal, and I
am much better, but I feel that the illness is still lurking. Is it
obligatory for me to inform anyone who proposes marriage to me about
that?
Published Date: 2015-12-30
Praise be to Allah
We ask Allah to heal you and grant you well-being. It seems to us that
this illness is not real. If we assume that it is real, then we would
say: if this illness would not have any impact on married life or on
raising children, then there is no need to inform a prospective
marriage partner about it. But if it does have some impact, in the
sense that it may result in some problems after marriage that would
prevent you from developing bonds of love and creating a tranquil
home, then you must tell him about that, because concealing it would
be a kind of deceit. It is proven that deceit is forbidden in general
terms from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him), according to which the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever deceives (people) does not belong
to me." Narrated by Muslim, 102.
You should not pay any attention to imaginary things with regard to
your illness. Most such things are tricks of the Shaytaan, and are
aimed at preventing you from getting married and keeping yourself
chaste.
The basic guidelines with regard to informing a suitor about illness
in the prospective wife are as follows:
1. if the sickness will have any impact on married life and will
affect the wife's ability to fulfil her duties towards her husband and
children;
2. if it will be off-putting to the husband because of its
appearance or smell;
3. if it is real and permanent, and is not something imagined or
temporary that will disappear with the passage of time or after
marriage.
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked:
There is a young woman who is occasionally affected by periods of
insanity, then it goes away again, and she goes back to normal for a
period that may be long or short. Sometimes prospective suitors come
to propose marriage to her, the family finds it difficult to arrange a
marriage for her, because they do not know how to tell the prospective
suitor about the situation and they are very hesitant, which leads to
missing out on the opportunity to get married. Recently the family
have decided that they would rather get her married to a person who
has some kind of disability or other problem, so that it will be
easier for him to accept her. Now there is a potential suitor who is
infertile, and another who is the son of her paternal aunt, who has
proposed to her and has stated that he is aware of her illness. But
the problem is that the mother of this young man – i.e., the paternal
aunt of the girl – has the same sickness, and when we asked the doctor
what he thought about this marriage, he said that he did not recommend
it, because the probability of having children who were affected by
the same illness was great.
My question is: what is the Islamic ruling on such a marriage? If it
turns out that it produces a child who is also ill, will we have the
ones who are responsible for that, as we would have played a role in
bringing about this marriage? Please note that the possibility of
producing children who are also ill is great.
They replied:
You should not prevent the girl from getting married, and you should
give her in marriage to this man who has come to propose to her, and
leave the matter to Allah. You should ignore the doctor's advice which
is based on probability, because marriage serves a purpose for both
parties and protects the girl from the risk of spinsterhood, on
condition that she agrees to marry the man of whom her guardian
approves for her.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh 'Abd ar-Razzaaq 'Afeefi, Shaykh
'Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh 'Abd
al-'Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh.
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 18/194
They were also asked:
If a girl has a problem in the uterus or with her menstrual cycle that
requires treatment which may delay any chance of bearing children,
should the suitor be told about that?
They replied:
If this problem is something temporary, something that happens to
women then disappears, then it is not necessary to tell the suitor
about it. But if this problem is a serious disease or it is not a
minor, temporary problem, and the proposal comes when she still has
this problem and has not been healed of it, then in that case her
guardian must inform the suitor of it. End quote.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez Aal-ash-Shaykh, Shaykh Saalih ibn Fawzaan
al-Fawzaan,Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 19/15
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen was asked:
There is a man who proposed marriage to a woman, but it is known that
this woman has a physical defect, which is hidden and not obvious, and
there is the hope that it may be cured, like leprosy and vitiligo.
Should the suitor be told about that?
He replied:
If a man proposes marriage to a woman, and she has a hidden defect,
and there are people who know about it, then if the suitor asks about
her, it is obligatory to disclose it. This is quite clear. But if he
does not ask, then he should be told about it because this comes under
the heading of sincere advice, especially if it is something that
there is no hope of it going away. But if there is hope of it going
away, then this is easier. However there are things that may go away,
but they go away slowly, such as leprosy for example – if it is true
that it may go away, but up till now we know nothing to suggest that
it may go away. So there is a difference between that which it is
hoped will go away soon and that which it is hoped will go away later
on.

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The true nature of might and power
In an ultimate way, the answer to these and other similar questions is simple: Allah Almighty has willed it. This is so because nothing can happen in this world except by the permission of its mighty Creator and wise Lord, Allah, The Most High.
All of this happens because Allah Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, created laws and means (including evil) which allow certain outcomes, regardless of whether He loves it or not. This does not absolve people from their intentions and deeds, but quite the opposite. It forms the crucible and volitional test of human faith. This is known as Allah's Creative Will or Al-Iraadah Al-Kawniyah.
Allah Almighty also has what is known as the Prescriptive Will, Al-Iraadah Ash-Shar'iyah—or the Sharee`ah—which prescribes for us what Allah Almighty requires us to avoid and loves for us to do. Here Allah Almighty sets forth unambiguously what He detests as evil and what He loves and aides; namely, good, the righteous, and the good deeds they do.
Consequently, everything, good or bad, occurs under Allah's knowledge and happens only by His permission and creation. Making wars, conquests and the defeat of the weak by the physically strong, all take place by His permission because that is His Creative Will but at the intention and choice of man. Thus Allah Almighty Says in the Quran (what means):"In the victory of Allah. He gives victory to whom He wills, and He is the Exalted in Might, the Merciful. [It is] the promise of Allah. Allah does not fail in His promise, but most of the people do not know .They know what is apparent of the worldly life, but they, of the Hereafter, are unaware."[Quran 30:5-7]
Reflecting upon history and reality shows us that Allah Almighty has made us into various competing communities and nations, who vie with one another for glory. Allah Almighty gives and takes from whom He pleases, even according strength to those He despises. Yet, as the preceding verses indicate, material displays of strength are deceiving. Allah Almighty has created them as an illusion for the disbelievers and those who have disregarded His signs. Strength in this world is meaningless in the next, because it cannot be truly substantial unless it occurs under God's favor.
So it might be a fair question to ask ourselves what do might and power mean for the Muslim—a person who declares: La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah, or "There is neither might nor power save with Allah?”
In the course of our answer to this, we will see that the root of the oppression that Allah Almighty mentions time and again in the Quran originates from a crucial misunderstanding of power, the illusion we mentioned previously. All the oppressors in the world perceive themselves as strong and the makers of their own destiny as well as the destiny of others. But the Quran makes clear that everything is as God wills, and that "indeed, Allah is powerful over all things" [Quran 2:20].
So our question develops. What is the nature of power and does Allah wish us to view it? Then what sort of concepts about power may we have to correct in ourselves when we answer our question?
Power and Devine knowledge
Consider Ibrahim, Father of Prophets, Friend of God. He approached King Nimrod, calling him to submit to Allah Almighty. But Nimrod doubted and disputed him, simply because Allah Almighty had granted him kingship (2:258). In arrogance, Nimrod saw his kingdom and control over other people as a sign that his power made him responsible to no one. But Ibrahim, peace be upon him, insisted: "My Lord is He Who gives life and gives death." And Nimrod said: "I give life and give death."And it was true in a sense. Nimrod could decree the execution of whomever he wished in his kingdom.
But Ibrahim, peace be upon him, saw that Nimrod's argument was sheer falsehood. "Then, indeed, it is Allah who brings the sun from the East. So you bring from the West." Nimrod could not answer. Ibrahim, peace be upon him, knew the flimsiness of Nimrod's arguments, how weak a web of self-deception he had spun for himself. He recognized the difference between the violent might and meaningless power of Nimrod, and the wise and ultimate nature of true power from Allah. Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him, knew true power comes only from complete submission to God, not from physical outbursts and the compulsion of others.
The same is evident from the Prophet Muhammadwho said:"A strong person is not the one who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the one who contains himself when he is angry."[Al-Bukhari]
The believer does not wish to extend his human limitations onto other people through needless violence, harsh words, and spiteful thoughts. Allah Almighty Says (what means):"And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful."[Quran 31:18]
This Quranic verse shows attributes, not of the strong, but the spiritually weak. Instead, the strong man of God is in selfless devotion to his Creator. The Prophet Muhammaddid not take his revenge on the people of Makkah when he conquered it. He did not raise his voice at those who disrespected him. Instead, he went against most of the expectations of what the Arabs considered to be actions of the strong and powerful at that time. In this was a sign of his real strength.
When we desire to oppose oppression, we must remember that we serve only the One who has created all things, and not the created things themselves. We have all heard the expression: "Do not fall in love with the things of this world." But it is equally true to say: "Do not fall into hatred of the things of this world.”
To succumb to either condition is to abandon our submission to Allah for surrender to the world and its illusions, which become controlling over us. It is to lose sight of ultimate purposes and ends, and out of love or hate, to focus on the temporary and miss the eternal. We lose ourselves to our own emotions instead of locating ourselves in the refuge of the All-Merciful.
It is always better to seek to live by Allah's commands than to follow our false desires. An example of this is the celebrated anecdote of Ali ibn abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, on the battlefield. His enemy fell beneath him, open to the deathblow. At that moment, he spat in Ali's face. Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, held his stroke and turned away, to the astonishment of his opponent, who asked him why. His action would have emerged not from obedience to Allah, but from personal anger, making it insincere.
Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, recognized that to strike at that moment would be to transfer his submission from the Divine to the dunya (world), controlled by the actions of his enemy or his physical emotions. If this story is true, it goes a long way to show the solid character of Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, who wanted his heart to be moved only by Allah Almighty and for His sake alone, not the deception of this world.
He sacrificed a display of physical strength (at that moment), so he might observe the limits Allah had established (not to kill for one's own whims or motives). He knew that all power in this world comes from Allah alone, and this power loses its meaning if it is not used in His way. Through this type of action, Allah made him and many other Companions of Prophet Muhammadof the strongest and wisest of His servants.The power of Allah
The prophets of Allah, peace be upon them, and those who possess religious knowledge keep away from things which cloud their judgment in any situation. First and foremost, they know that there are no Asbab (means or ways) to anything except by the expressed Will of Allah. It is following the commands and prohibitions that Allah Almighty has prescribed for us that enables us recognize and see the truth for truth and adhere to it, and to see falsehood as such and avert it. Deception is the only other alternative. There is a striking example of this in the Quran. When Talout, or Saul, set out to defeat Goliath, he tested his men by prohibiting them during their force march from drinking in a nearby river, saying: "He who drinks of it is not of me" [2:249]. Nearly all the men, perhaps thinking of the long march ahead, and how they were going to need water for physical strength, drank from the river—disobeying him! They calculated strength and ability by physical means, instead of understanding that God has power over all things and gives success to whom He wills.
By the time Saul crossed the river, those who had drunk from the water said: "No strength have we today against Goliath and his forces," ' and they gave up! By disobeying God's messenger, they lost the true power of faith in Allah!
But those who realized they would certainly meet Allah Almighty said: How many a small company has prevailed over a more numerous company by Allah's permission. And Allah is with those who are patient!" Those of Saul's men who obeyed him, and knew that all might and power is with Allah, were given deeper understanding and ability from Allah to defeat the enemy.“And when they went forth to [face] Goliath and his soldiers, they said, ‘Our Lord, pour upon us patience and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people.’ So they defeated them by permission of Allah, and David killed Goliath, and Allah gave him the kingship and prophethood and taught him from that which He willed. And if it were not for Allah checking [some] people by means of others, the earth would have been corrupted, but Allah is full of bounty to the worlds.”[Quran 2:250-51]
The choice is ours
The believers know that Allah's supreme power is obvious in every single thing that they see in this world, and that their own capabilities are given to them only by Allah—and may be taken away from them By Him Almighty at anytime. Sometimes the Companions of Prophet Muhammadwould shake out of fear of not living from one moment to the next. Living with such awareness is living with full knowledge of Allah's absolute Lordship over His creation.
The Prophetreferred to Allah Almighty as "the One in Whose Hands is my soul." This underscores the incredible sense of awe he felt toward his Creator, the Giver of Life, and the Bringer of Death. Allah Almighty gave the Prophet Muhammadand his Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, ultimate strength and victory in this life. But why do most of our peers have such a drastically different sense?
It contrasts so markedly with our own because the state of the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, came from a conscious effort and deliberate choice. Believers constantly remind themselves of Allah's absolute power over existence. Disbelievers, on the other hand, do not see signs of Allah Almighty at all—anywhere. The reason for this is quite simple: The Prophet Muhammadsaid Allah Says:"I am at the contemplation of My servants: I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself.”
Imagine that. The intimacy between Allah Almighty and the individual human is dependant in the sense of spiritual favor on how often we ourselves actually choose to open our hearts and turn to our Creator in gratefulness and repentance, and for signs of guidance. If we do not turn to Allah Almighty, we have no guarantee that He Almighty will turn to us. But if we turn to Him, then Allah Almighty is the Ever-Returning. He will turn to us, give us knowledge of Him, strengthen our hearts, and open up doors for our advancement in the real life to come.
He Almighty is the one who purifies His servants' intellect and gives them a criterion for understanding the values of things in the life of this world, till they meet Him in the next. Allah Almighty gives His obedient servants a criterion for recognizing the true nature of power and might, and the ultimate value of the things around them and the actions they choose to do. There is a connection between these three things—the Divine criterion, the true nature of power, and the ultimate value of things and actions—which the human being instinctively relies upon even in his daily interactions with others. We must look to utilize this part of our human nature in our daily interactions with Allah Almighty.
For there is no power nor might nor value to anything except through Him.













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