Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * A wife giving up her right to maintenance; and is the first wife’s approval needed before one can marry a second wife?

Is it halal to have a second wife who says she does not need financial
support. If so, what if the first wife does not allow the
marriage..can a man still get married again?
Praise be to Allaah.
Maintenance is one of the rights of the wife which is an obligation
upon her husband. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has
made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to
support them) from their means."
[al-Nisaa' 4:34]
If the woman foregoes this right, to which she is entitled – which is
her maintenance– then it is no longer obligatory upon her husband.
Ibn Qudaamah said: If she agrees to forego some part of her share (of
her husband's time) or her maintenance, or all of that, this is
permissible. (al-Mughni, vol. 7, p. 244).
With regard to the permission and approval of the first wife for a
plural marriage, this is not a condition and the husband does not have
to seek the permission of his first wife to marry a second. But it is
prescribed for him to be kind to her and to spend money and to say
kind words so as to calm her down and reduce her jealousy. The
Standing Committee was asked about the first wife's approval for one
who wants to marry another wife. Their response was:
It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second
wife, to have the approval of the first wife, but it is the matter of
good manners and kind treatment that he should speak to her kindly in
such a way as to reduce the feelings of hurt which are natural in
women in such cases. That is by smiling at her, showing that he is
happy to see her, being kind, speaking nicely and by spending money on
her if necessary.
SeeFataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 204

Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * He has two wives and he is not dividing his time among them fairly

Is it obligatory for a husband with two wives to designate specified
days for each wife. Also, is it permissable that he share the days
between the two. My husband presently has no designated days for us.
He comes to my home when he has finish his rounds at my co-wives
house. He then comes to my home to go to bed. This arrangement is
not acceptable to me. Were on the brink of divorce.
Praise be to Allaah.
The one who has more than one wife has to treat all his wives fairly.
One of the matters in which he must be fair is the division of his
time, i.e., he must give each wife a day and a night, and he must stay
with her on that night.
Al-Shaafa'i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "The Sunnah of the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and
the opinion of the majority of Muslim scholars indicate that a man has
to divide his days and nights between his wives [giving each a full
day and night], and that he has to be fair in doing so. (al-Umm,
5/158). And he said: I do not know of any (scholarly) disagreement
with the view that a man must share his time among his wives and do so
fairly. (al-Umm, 5/280).
Al-Baghawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a man has more than
one wife, he has to treat them equally, if they are free [i.e., not
slaves], whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book
[i.e., Jewish or Christian]. If he does not treat them equally, then
he has disobeyed Allaah and he has to make it up to the one whom he
wronged. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever has two wives and
leans towards (i.e. favours) one of them (over the other), will come
on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning." However
there is some dispute concerning its isnaad. (Narrated by Abu Dawood,
2/242; al-Tirmidhi, 3/447; al-Nasaa'i, 7/64; Ibn Maajah, 1/633;
classed as saheeh by al-Haafiz inBuloogh al-Maraam, 3/310, and
al-Albaani inIrwaa' al-Ghaleel, 7/80).
What is meant by this "leaning" is favouring in terms of actions; a
man will not be taken to task for the inclination of his heart if he
treats (his wives) equally in practical terms. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it
is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them…"
[al-Nisaa' 4:129]
What this means is that you will never be able to treat them equally
in your heart, so do not incline too much towards one of them, i.e.,
do not make your actions follow your whims and desires.
(Sharh al-Sunnah, 9/150-151)
Ibn Hazam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Treating co-wives
equally is obligatory, most of all sharing one's nights between them.
(al-Muhalla, 9/175)
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: He
has to treat his wives fairly according to the consensus of the
Muslims. In the fourSunansit was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever has
two wives…" He has to be fair in his division of time between them. So
if he stays with one of them for one night, or two or three, he should
stay with the other for the same number of nights, and he should not
give preference to one of them in his sharing of his time.
(Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 32/269)
Al-'Ayni said, commenting on the hadeeth, "Whoever has two wives…": It
was said that what was meant was that half of his body would be
leaning in a real sense, or that he would have no acceptable excuse
for favouring one wife over the other. The apparent meaning is that
this is in the real sense. This is indicated by the report of Abu
Dawood, "with half of his body leaning." The punishment fits the
crime, because he did not treat them fairly or he deviated from what
is right. Because of his being unfair and favouring one of them, his
punishment is that he will come before the witnesses on the Day of
Resurrection with one half of his body leaning.
('Umdat al-Qaari', 20/199. See alsoal-Mabsoot, 5/217).
Al-Shawkaani also understood this to mean that it is obligatory (to
treat co-wives fairly). Seeal-Sayl al-Jiwaar, 2/301;Nayl al-Awtaar,
6/216
Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: We know
of no dispute among the scholars concerning the fact that it is
obligatory to treat co-wives equally when sharing one's time between
them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):"and live with them
honourably" [al-Nisaa' 4:19], but favouring one of them is not
honourable.
Al-Mughni, 8/138
This husband has to fear Allaah and be fair in his division of his
time. The wife has to tell him of the ruling of sharee'ah concerning
what he is doing, and of the warning of mistreatment. She should
remind him of Allaah and the Hereafter, so that he will check himself
and be fair in his division of time. This is better than separating,
in sha Allah. And Allaah knows best.

General hadeeths, Dought & Clear, - * Is it permissible to seek fame and love to be prominent in worldly matters?

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I want to know the ruling on seeking fame in worldly matters, such as if people describe you as smart and a genius, or you appear on TV screens, and the like. I know that the individual will not be rewarded for that, but is this a sin or shirk, even though it is a worldly matter? Similarly, if I am now famous and my aim is to become famous among people in this world, can I change my intention and make my fame purely for the sake of Allah, despite the fact that it was not like that in the beginning? Can fame be regarded as simply a means of attaining permissible things, if I use it for worldly purposes that are permissible, and if I add to it the intention of worship and growing close to Allah, will it be turned into a righteous deed?
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
Seeking fame is blameworthy in all circumstances. The believer should be modest and humble, and he should not like to be pointed out. One of the main factors that corrupt a person’s efforts to reach his Lord is his love of fame and prominence among people, and love of leadership over them.
At-Tirmidhi (2376) narrated – and classed it as saheeh – that Ka‘b ibn Maalik said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Two hungry wolves sent against a flock of sheep cannot cause more damage to them than a man’s eagerness for wealth and prominence causes to his religious commitment.” Also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami‘(5620)
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) explained that the damage that eagerness for wealth and prominence causes to one’s religious commitment is no less than the damage that two hungry wolves would cause in a sheep pen, and this is quite obvious. If there is sound religious commitment, there cannot be this eagerness, because once the heart tastes the sweetness of servitude to Allah and love of Him, then there will be nothing dearer to the individual than that, and he will give it precedence over other things. In that way, Allah diverts evil deeds and shameful acts from those who are sincere to Allah alone.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa(10/215)
This love of prominence and fame is one of the hidden diseases of the heart that may cause great spiritual harm, but people hardly pay attention to it until after it has gone so far that it is too difficult to fix the problem and rectify the damage it has caused.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is often the case that people may harbour in their hearts subtle desires that could hinder attainment of love of Allah, servitude to Him and sincere devotion to Him, as Shaddaad ibn Aws said: O Arabs, the worst thing I fear for you is showing off and subtle desires. It was said to Abu Dawood as-Sijistani: What are subtle desires? He said: Love of leadership.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa(10/214-215)
One of the worst outcomes of love of fame and prominence, and striving for it, is for a person to seek the praise of people, whether it is deserved or not.
Ahmad (16460) narrated that Mu‘aawiyah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “Beware of praising one another, for it is like slaughter (i.e., fatal).” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami‘(2674)
Al-Mannaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Praise leads to self-admiration and arrogance, and it is fatal like slaughter, hence it is likened to it. Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If someone does you a favour, if he is one of those who like to be thanked and praised, then do not praise him, because part of fulfilling his rights is that you should not approve of his wrongdoing, and his seeking thanks is wrongdoing. Otherwise, you may show him gratitude so that he will continue doing good.
End quote fromFayd al-Qadeer(3/167).
Hence Ibraaheem ibn Adham said: One who loves to be known is not being sincere to Allah.
End quote fromal-‘Izlah wa’l-Infiraad(p. 126)
Ibraaheem an-Nakha‘i and al-Hasan al-Basri said: It is sufficient trial for a man to be pointed out with regard to religious or worldly matters, except the one whom Allah protects.
End quote fromaz-Zuhdby Ibn as-Sirri (2/442).
Something similar was stated by Ibn al-Muhayreez inTareekh Dimashq(33/18)
Secondly:
Once we understand this, there can be no doubt that it is safer for a man to prefer anonymity and be humble towards his Lord, and to refrain from seeking fame and prominence, even with regard to permissible worldly matters.
Muslim (2965) narrated that ‘Aamir ibn Sa‘d said: Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqaas was with his camels when his son ‘Umar came to him and when Sa‘d saw him he said: I seek refuge with Allah from the evil of this rider. Then he dismounted and said to him: You are busy with your camels and sheep and you have left the people contending with one another for kingship? Sa‘d struck him on the chest and said: Be quiet! I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “Allah loves the slave who is pious, independent of means and hidden from the people.”
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“hidden from the people” refers to one who is anonymous and is focused on worship and taking care of his own affairs. End quote.
Ibn al-Jawzi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What he meant by hidden from the people is one who is not known, because the one who is not known is usually safe.
End quote fromKashf al-Mushkil(p. 167)
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The one who is hidden from the people is the one who does not try to be prominent and known, and he is not interested in becoming prominent before people or being pointed out, or having people talk about him. You will find him going from his house to the mosque, and from the mosque to his house, and from his house to visit his relatives and brothers, keeping a low profile.
End quote fromSharh Riyadh as-Saaliheen(p. 629)
Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyaad (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If you are able not to be known, then do so. What harm will it do you if you are not known? What harm will it do you if no one praises you? What harm will it do you to be blameworthy before people if you are praiseworthy before Allah, may He be glorified and exalted?
End quote fromat-Tawaadu‘ wa’l-Khumoolby Abu Bakr al-Qurashi (p. 43).
Thirdly:
If it so happens that a person seeks to do good deeds, whether they have to do with religious or worldly matters, then he becomes known as a result of that, without him seeking it and without him striving for that, then there is no blame on him for that. Rather what he has to do is to correct his intention when doing that good deed, and he should not worry about any fame that he attains after that, if it was not his aim to seek it and he was not longing for it. Undoubtedly leading figures in both religious and worldly matters will inevitably attain some level of fame, commensurate with their situation and what they achieve, and the extent to which people need them. It is not wise, and it is not prescribed in Islam at all, to stop doing righteous deeds and striving to spread good among people, whether those deeds are obligatory or mustahabb, for fear of becoming known or because the one who engages in such endeavours will inevitably become famous among people.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If the choice is between making oneself stand out and become prominent and keeping a low profile, then in that case he should choose to keep a low profile. But if he has no choice but to make himself known, then he must do so, by spreading his knowledge among the people, setting up lessons and study circles everywhere, and giving khutbahs on Fridays, on Eid and on other occasions, for that is something that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, loves.
End quote fromSharh Riyadh as-Saaliheen(p. 629)
Fourthly:
If it so happens that someone attains some degree of fame, either by doing something that is not Islamically acceptable, such as singing or acting, or by doing something that is basically permissible, but his intention became somewhat corrupted and he became motivated by fame, prominence and leadership, then what he must do is give up what he is doing of haraam things – such as performing indecent songs and music, or acting, and the like – then whatever fame he has attained as a result of that, he should try to use it for good. If he thinks that people look up to him and take him as an example, then let him be a good example, and spread truth, the Sunnah, beneficial knowledge and righteous deeds.
But he must strive to watch his emotions and correct his intentions, and let his doing that be sincerely for the sake of his Lord. The fact that people look up to him is something that has been decreed for him without him seeking it or striving for it, or paying any attention to it, or loving that people think highly of him, or paying attention to what they say about him. Rather he should strive to make all of that for the sake of his Lord; he should fix his intention and not be heedless. Sufyaan ath-Thawri (may Allah have mercy on him) said: I never dealt with anything more difficult to deal with than my intention; it keeps changing on me.
And Allah knows best.

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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M. MD, IRI (Managing Director, Islamic Research Institution)

General hadeeths, Dought & Clear, - *Is it essential to inform the suitor about the presence of a spot of vitiligo on the woman’s body?

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Brief
Is a girl required to inform a man who proposes marriage to her that she has a small spot of vitiligo on her chest?
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
Any physical characteristic in a woman or in a man that may ordinarily be off-putting to a spouse and have an impact on physical pleasure, and detract from love and compassion between husband and wife, is regarded as a defect.
This has been explained previously in the answers to questions no. 75405and 111980.
Whatever is deemed to be a defect must be disclosed at the time of the marriage contract, and should not be concealed, so that there will be no deceit and lack of sincerity.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade vendors to conceal defects in their products, and he forbade the one who was aware of the defect to conceal it from the purchaser, then how about defects with regard to marriage? The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to Faatimah ibn Qays, when she consulted him about marrying Mu‘aawiyah or Abu Jahm: “As for Mu‘aawiyah, he is poor and has no wealth; as for Abu Jahm, his stick his stick never leaves his shoulder (i.e., he travels a great deal).” Thus it is known that disclosing faults in the case of marriage is more appropriate and more obligatory.
End quote fromZaad al-Ma‘aad(5/168-169)
Secondly:
The scholars have stated that leprosy is a defect that must be disclosed and the other party must be given the option of annulling the marriage, if it has been concealed from him or her.
As for vitiligo, it is something other than leprosy.
Al-Maawardi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Leprosy is the appearance of whiteness on the skin in which the blood of the skin and the flesh beneath it disappears, and it is contagious and may be passed to one’s offspring and people with whom one mixes. People fear it and are put off by it, so it is not possible to have complete physical enjoyment in this case …
But in the case of vitiligo, it is a change in the colour of the skin, but it does not take away the blood and is not off-putting to people, so in this case there is no option (of annulling the marriage).
End quote fromal-Haawi al-Kabeer(9/342)
Al-‘Adawi said in hisHaashiyah(5/257), after confirming that there is the option (of annulling the marriage) in the case of leprosy: There is no option (of annulling the marriage) in the case of vitiligo. End quote.
An-Nawawi stated inRawdat at-Taalibeen(7/176) that vitiligo does not come under the same rulings as leprosy.
However the situation of people nowadays varies. In many societies vitiligo is regarded as a defect, and a man is usually put off by a woman who is affected by this condition; if a marriage goes ahead without the husband being aware of it, then after he finds out about it he feels that he has been cheated and deceived, in that case he may hurt his wife or shame her because of that, and he become obsessed with the issue and start to fear that this small spot may spread and affect the rest of the body, or that the disease may be transferred to the children. Undoubtedly this has a negative effect on love and compassion that are the purpose of marriage, and replaces them with aversion and prevents full physical enjoyment between them.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
Is a mild case of vitiligo regarded as one of the defects that affect marriage? In other words, if a man finds vitiligo in his wife, is it regarded as a defect?
He replied:
Yes, it is undoubtedly a defect, because people are usually put off by it and he may not be able to feel comfortable with his wife except if Allah wills. It is a defect whether it appears in the man or the woman; even if a man has vitiligo and a woman marries him and is unaware of it, it is a defect and she has the option of annulling the marriage because of it.
But in terms of sin, the man is sinning and the woman is sinning if they have this defect, or any other defect that would prevent complete physical enjoyment, and does not disclose it to the other. Undoubtedly concealing it is haraam and comes under the heading of deceit, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) disavowed those who practice deceit.
End quote fromLiqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh(39/10)
The most correct view with regard to this issue:
Is that reference should be made concerning it to what is customary and usual in each society, because societies vary in the way they regard this disease. Some of them regard it as a defect and off-putting, and others do not view it in this manner.
We put this question to our shaykh, ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan al-Barraak (may Allah preserve him) and he said:
If the vitiligo is regarded as a defect according to social custom, then it must be disclosed and it is prohibited to conceal it. But if customarily it is not regarded as a defect, then it does not have to be disclosed. End quote.
Conclusion:
If this extent of vitiligo is regarded as a defect according to your social custom, that people find off-putting, then you must disclose it and give the suitor the choice concerning the marriage. This is better for you and for the suitor. You have to be patient and put your trust in Allah, may He be exalted, and Allah will grant you ease after hardship.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to make things easy for you and to relieve your distress.
And Allah knows best.

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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M. MD, IRI (Managing Director, Islamic Research Institution)