I got married four years ago to a man who was already married and had
a daughter. He told me that it would remain a secret to his wife and
father, until they found out from people and not from him, and I
agreed to that. From the day we married, he has not slept at my house
except for one week, on the basis that he was travelling. After that
he has not slept in my house and I have been living on my own, and he
comes every day. I got pregnant from him and gave birth to a daughter,
who is now two years old. Until today he has not registered her in his
name, for fear that his wife will find out. I have been patient all
this time and have said it doesn't matter, because frankly my husband
is a man like no other and he loves me, but after 3 1/2 years his wife
and his father found out, and she asked him to divorce me, but he
refused to divorce me or to divorce her. But until now he is not
treating us fairly, and he has never stayed the night with me and my
daughter, and he has not registered his daughter in his name, and I do
not know why. Even on Fridays it was hard for him to come and visit
us; even when my daughter was sick at night, I could not tell him and
I was always the one who took her to the hospital. I do not know what
I should do. By Allaah, I always ask Allaah to give me patience
because I have suffered all these years and I do not know for how
long. Please note that my husband fears Allaah and does not miss a
prayer, and he always does good. Every time I argue with him he tells
me: "Everything in its own good time; you have been very patient,
can't you be patient for longer?"
I hope that you can help me because in fact I am not able to put up
with this injustice any more.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
When a husband conceals his second marriage, in most cases that leads
to some kind of injustice for his new wife, as he will be confused and
uncertain and will be afraid that he may do something that would lead
to his first wife finding out that he has taken a second wife. This
may lead him into a series of mistakes.
As you agreed to that at first, then you have to put up with what
happens to you in some ways and you have to try to set things straight
in other ways.
If your husband had an excuse -- in your view -- before his marriage
to you was discovered, then he has no excuse now. What he has to do is
to teach you and his first wife fairly with regard to spending the
night. However many nights he spends there, he has to spend the same
number of nights with you, and you have the right to demand this right
which Allaah has obliged him to give and that Allaah has given to you.
If he persists in refusing, then you have the choice: either you can
accept your life with him and put up with it until Allaah grants you
relief -- which is what we recommend -- or you can choose to leave
him.
As the matter has been discovered, we advise you to appoint as an
intermediary someone who has knowledge and is of good character, who
can intervene between you to resolve your problem with him and make
him do that which Allaah has obliged him to do of treating you and his
first wife fairly, and registering your daughter officially. This is
something that is essential. How can he accept for his daughter to
remain like that, with no recorded lineage and with her rights exposed
to loss?
Now the matter is up to you. Advise him and remind him of Allaah, and
if he does not respond, then appoint as intermediaries wise people
from among your family, or from among your family and his, to advise
him and make him adhere to that which Allaah has enjoined upon him of
treating his wives fairly and registering his daughter in the official
records.
Ask Allaah to help and guide you and him. We ask Allaah to bring you
together on the basis of good and to make it easy for you to do that
which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.
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Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
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Saturday, September 5, 2015
Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * He married her without the knowledge of his first wife, then his secret was found out,and he is still not giving her her rights with regard to his staying overnight with her
Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * He stipulated that she should look after his father, then he took a second wife and she asked him for separate accommodation and to divide the work with her co-wife
The questioner got married to a woman after explaining to her his
father's situation, as his father is sick and needs someone to take
care of him. She agreed to that, but now he wants to marry a second
wife, but the first wife said: If you take a second wife, then it is
my right to ask for separate accommodation and to share the care of
your father between us (wives). What is your opinion on that? The
questioner is saying: How can she request this when it was stipulated
from the beginning that she should take care of his father; in fact he
only married her for this purpose and no other?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allah has enjoined fulfilment of covenants and promises. He says
(interpretation of the meaning):"O you who believe! Fulfil (your)
obligations" [al-Maa'idah 5:1]. The most important covenant that is to
be fulfilled is the marriage contract, whether by the husband or by
the wife. It was narrated that 'Uqbah ibn 'Aamir (may Allah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled
is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2572) and Muslim (1418).
Based on that, what is required from the wife is to fulfil the
condition that her husband stipulated, which is to serve and take care
of his father. It seems to us that the wife has no right to ask him to
divide this work between her and her co-wife, because that was not
stipulated in the marriage contract; furthermore, she knows that Allah
has permitted him to marry another woman, and she did not stipulate
that he should not take another wife.
As for her request for separate accommodation, she has the right to
that unless it was stipulated before marriage that she should take
care of his father in his house and that she would not have
accommodation separate from his father. In that case, she is obliged
to adhere to the two conditions regarding accommodation and taking
care of the father, and she does not have the right to ask for
separate accommodation or for the work to be divided between her and
her co-wife, unless the husband doest hat on his own initiative.
If the wife cannot put up with her new situation, then she has the
right to ask for khula' (a type of divorce), in which she will give up
her mahr to her husband and he will divorce her (talaaq).
For more details on khula', see the answer to question number 26247.
We advise the husband to be wise in his conduct and to fear Allah with
regard to his first wife; she has accepted him as a husband and has
agreed to serve his sick father. It is not right to respond to that by
bringing in a co-wife who will not share the work with her and will
have advantages over her which will cause him distress in his life and
cause him trouble.
We are not trying to forbid that which Allah has permitted of plural
marriage; but we are aware that part of good attitude on the man's
part is responding in kind to the one who has been kind to him in word
and in deed. We do not think that the husband's insisting on not
making his second wife share the work of caring for his father is a
good way of responding to his first wife's good conduct. He should
stipulate for the second wife what he stipulated for the first; that
is what is fair and wise.
Whatever the case:
We think that this wife should adhere to the conditions of marriage
that were stipulated for her, but she has the right to ask for khula'
if she fears that she will not be able to fulfil the conditions or
fulfil her duties towards her husband. But we think that the husband
should do the right thing to get out of this situation, which is
stipulating for the second wife what he stipulated for the first of
caring for his father. If the marriage contract has been done without
that, then he has to deal with her kindly and ask her to serve his
father and look after him, working with his first wife.
And Allah knows best.
father's situation, as his father is sick and needs someone to take
care of him. She agreed to that, but now he wants to marry a second
wife, but the first wife said: If you take a second wife, then it is
my right to ask for separate accommodation and to share the care of
your father between us (wives). What is your opinion on that? The
questioner is saying: How can she request this when it was stipulated
from the beginning that she should take care of his father; in fact he
only married her for this purpose and no other?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allah has enjoined fulfilment of covenants and promises. He says
(interpretation of the meaning):"O you who believe! Fulfil (your)
obligations" [al-Maa'idah 5:1]. The most important covenant that is to
be fulfilled is the marriage contract, whether by the husband or by
the wife. It was narrated that 'Uqbah ibn 'Aamir (may Allah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled
is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2572) and Muslim (1418).
Based on that, what is required from the wife is to fulfil the
condition that her husband stipulated, which is to serve and take care
of his father. It seems to us that the wife has no right to ask him to
divide this work between her and her co-wife, because that was not
stipulated in the marriage contract; furthermore, she knows that Allah
has permitted him to marry another woman, and she did not stipulate
that he should not take another wife.
As for her request for separate accommodation, she has the right to
that unless it was stipulated before marriage that she should take
care of his father in his house and that she would not have
accommodation separate from his father. In that case, she is obliged
to adhere to the two conditions regarding accommodation and taking
care of the father, and she does not have the right to ask for
separate accommodation or for the work to be divided between her and
her co-wife, unless the husband doest hat on his own initiative.
If the wife cannot put up with her new situation, then she has the
right to ask for khula' (a type of divorce), in which she will give up
her mahr to her husband and he will divorce her (talaaq).
For more details on khula', see the answer to question number 26247.
We advise the husband to be wise in his conduct and to fear Allah with
regard to his first wife; she has accepted him as a husband and has
agreed to serve his sick father. It is not right to respond to that by
bringing in a co-wife who will not share the work with her and will
have advantages over her which will cause him distress in his life and
cause him trouble.
We are not trying to forbid that which Allah has permitted of plural
marriage; but we are aware that part of good attitude on the man's
part is responding in kind to the one who has been kind to him in word
and in deed. We do not think that the husband's insisting on not
making his second wife share the work of caring for his father is a
good way of responding to his first wife's good conduct. He should
stipulate for the second wife what he stipulated for the first; that
is what is fair and wise.
Whatever the case:
We think that this wife should adhere to the conditions of marriage
that were stipulated for her, but she has the right to ask for khula'
if she fears that she will not be able to fulfil the conditions or
fulfil her duties towards her husband. But we think that the husband
should do the right thing to get out of this situation, which is
stipulating for the second wife what he stipulated for the first of
caring for his father. If the marriage contract has been done without
that, then he has to deal with her kindly and ask her to serve his
father and look after him, working with his first wife.
And Allah knows best.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Quraanic Exegesis, Dought&clear, - * Who are those are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam?
mwb
“This is for him whose family is not present at Al-Masjid Al-Haraam” [al-Baqarah 2:196].
Who are those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam? Are they the people of Makkah or the people of the Haram? What is your opinion of those who say that the Makki (resident of Makkah) can never do Tamattu’ or Qiraan without his family?.
Praise be to Allaah.
What the questioner has quoted is part of a verse in which Allaah mentions those who do tamattu’. He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“whosoever performs the ‘Umrah in the months of Hajj, before (performing) the Hajj, (i.e. Hajj-at-Tamattu‘ and Al-Qiraan), he must slaughter a Hady such as he can afford, but if he cannot afford it, he should observe Sawm (fasts) three days during the Hajj and seven days after his return (to his home), making ten days in all. This is for him whose family is not present at Al-Masjid Al-Haraam (i.e. non-resident of Makkah)”
[al-Baqarah 2:196].
The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) differed as to what is meant by those who are not present at al-Masjid al-Haraam.
It was said that they are those who are within the boundaries of the Haram; whoever is outside the boundaries of the Haram is not among those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam.
And it was said that they are the people who live at the Meeqaats and within those limits.
And it was said that they are the people of Makkah and those who live closer to it than the distance at which the traveller may shorten his prayers.
The most likely to be correct is the view that those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam are the people of the Haram.
If the person who is one of those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam does tamattu’ for ‘Umrah and Hajj, he does not have to offer a hadiy. For example, if a man from Makkah travels to Madeenah, say, during the months of Hajj, then comes back from Madeenah and enters ihraam from Dhu’l-Hulayfah for ‘Umrah, but he intended to do Hajj this year, then he does not have to offer a hadiy, because he is one of those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam. The people of Makkah may also do Qiraan but they do not have to offer the hadiy, such as if one of the people of Makkah is in Madeenah, then he enters ihraam from Dhu’l-Hulayfah during the days of Hajj for ‘Umrah and Hajj together (Qiraan). This pilgrim who does Qiraan does not have to offer a hadiy either, because he is one of those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam. End quote.
Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen(22/70, 71)
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(11/389):
The scholars differed concerning the meaning of “those who are present at al-Masjid al-Haraam.” The most correct view is that they are the people of the Haram.
And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.
Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas.
Quraanic Exegesis, Dought&clear, - * Evil is part of the creation of Allaah and not attributing it to Allaah is part of proper verbal etiquette
Here is the translation of the Ayahs: 4:78 - "Wherever you may be, death will overtake you even if you are in fortified towers. If a good happens to them, they say:'This is from Allah," but if an evil befalls them, they say:'This is from you(O Muhammad).' Say:'All are from Allah,' so what (is wrong with) these people that they do not seem to understand any word? " 4:79 - "Whatever reaches to you of good, is from Allah, but whatever befalls you of evil, is from yourself. Allah has sent you (Muhammad) for mankind as a messenger, and Allah is Sufficient as a Witness." Is evil from ourselves or from Allah. Non-Muslims view this as a contradiction in the Qur'an but we all know that the Qur'an is free from contradictions. Can you please explain this?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Understanding this aayah is easy for the one whom Allaah enables to understand it. It is one of the unambiguous aayahs in the clear Book of Allaah, and there is no contradiction in it, except in the minds of some of the haters, who are aided by their ignorance of Arabic and of the meanings of the Holy Qur’aan, so they think that the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):“but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself” [al-Nisa’ 4:79]mean that calamities, which are referred to here as “evil”, are created by man himself. This is obvious ignorance which no one falls into but someone who has no knowledge of the Arabic language, or an Arabic-speaker who is misled and overwhelmed by his whims and desires. That is because the prepositionmin(from) here, in the phrasemin nafsika(“from yourself”), refers to the cause, i.e., it is because of you yourself, O man, because of your disobedience and your going against the command of Allaah, that calamities befall you, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [al-Shoora 42:30].
Al-Haafiz Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) says: The words“And if some good reaches them” [al-Nisa’ 4:78]mean: abundance and provision, of fruits, crops, children and the like. This is the meaning of the words of Ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu’l-‘Aaliyah and al-Saddi.
“they say, ‘This is from Allaah,’ but if some evil befalls them” [al-Nisa’ 4:78], i.e., drought, famine, lack of fruits and crops, or death of children, and so on – as Abu’l-‘Aaliyah and al-Saddi said.
“they say, ‘This is from you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)’”, i.e., because of you, and because of our following you and following your religion, as Allaah said concerning the people of Pharaoh (interpretation of the meaning):
“But whenever good came to them, they said: ‘Ours is this.’ And if evil afflicted them, they ascribed it to evil omens connected with Moosa (Moses) and those with him”
[al-A’raaf 7:131]
and as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And among mankind is he who worships Allaah as it were upon the edge (i.e. in doubt): if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter”
[al-Hajj 22:11]
“Say: ‘All things are from Allaah’” [al-Nisa’ 4:78], i.e., everything happens by the will and decree of Allaah, which applies to the righteous and evildoer, to the believer and disbeliever, alike. ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas:“Say: ‘All things are from Allaah”i.e., both good and bad. Al-Hasan al-Basri said something similar.
Then Allaah said, addressing the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but the message is to mankind, that the answer to this question is:“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah”, i.e., by the grace, bounty, kindness and mercy of Allaah.
“but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself”i.e., from you, and because of your own actions, as Allaah says elsewhere (interpretation of the meaning):“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [al-Shoora 42:30]. Al-Saddi, al-Hasan al-Basri, Ibn Jurayj and Ibn Zayd said:“is from yourself”means, because of your sins.
Qataadah said:“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself”[means] it is a punishment, O son of Adam, for your sins. And he said: We are told that the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “No man is scratched by a thorn, or stumbles, or has a twitching in a vein, except for a sin, and what Allaah forgives is greater.”
This which was narrated by Qataadah in a mursal report was narrated in a muttasil report [i.e., with a complete isnaad] inal-Saheeh: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, no worry or grief or hardship befalls a believer, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allaah will expiate some of his sins thereby.” End quote.Tafseer al-Qur’aan il ‘Azeem(2/361-363).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) says:
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah,” [al-Nisa’ 4:79], i.e., what reaches you of victory, provision and well being, comes from Allaah, a blessing that He has bestowed upon you; even if it is because of your good deeds, He is the One Who has guided you, helped you, made things easy for you, blessed you with faith and made it attractive to you, and has made disbelief, evil and sin hateful to you.
At the end of the saheeh hadeeth qudsi that was narrated by Abu Dharr from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), he tells us that his Lord, may He be blessed and exalted, said: “O My slaves, they are merely your actions which I am recording for you, then I will requite you for them. Whoever finds it to be good, let him praise Allaah, and whoever finds it to be otherwise, let him blame no one but himself.” According to the saheeh hadeeth: “The best prayer for forgiveness is to say: ‘Allaahumma anta rabbiy laa ilaaha illa anta, khalaqtani wa ana ‘abduka wa ana ‘ala ‘ahdika wa wa’dika ma astata’tu, a’oodhu bika min sharri ma sana’tu aboo’u laka bi ni’matika ‘alayya wa aboo’u laka bi dhanbi, faghfir li fa innahu laa yaghfir ul-dhunooba illa anta(O Allaah, You are my Lord and I am Your slave, You have created me and I am faithful to my covenant and my promise (to You) as much as I am able. I seek refuge with You from the evil of that which I have done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me and I confess to You my sin. Forgive me for there is no one who forgives sin except You).’ Whoever says this during the day believing in it with certainty and dies that day before evening comes, will be one of the people of Paradise, and whoever says it at night believing in it with certainty and dies before morning comes will be one of the people of Paradise.”
Then Allaah says:“but whatever of evil befalls you”, such as humiliation, fear and defeat, such as what befell you on the day of Uhud,“is from yourself”, i.e., because of your sins and errors, even though that is already decreed and ordained for you, because the divine decree is not a justification for anyone, and will not be accepted by against Allaah, or by people. If it were permissible for anyone to refer to the divine decree to justify what he does of bad deeds, then no wrongdoer would be punished, no mushrik would be fought, no hadd punishment would be carried out, and no one would refrain from wronging anyone else. This would cause a great deal of mischief and corruption in both religious and worldly affairs, which is something that no one can dispute, whether on a rational basis or on a shar’i basis. End quote.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa(8/113-114)
Al-‘Allaamah al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Allaah tells us of those who do not know, who turn away from that which the Messengers brought, who are opposed to them: that if something good comes to them, i.e., abundance, a lot of wealth, many children, good health, they say:“This is from Allaah”, but if something bad comes to them, i.e., drought, famine, poverty, sickness, death of children and loved ones, they say:“This is from you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)”, i.e., because of what you have brought to us, O Muhammad; they regard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) as a bad omen as others like them regarded the Messengers of Allaah as bad omens, as Allaah tells us that the people of Pharaoh said to Moosa:
“But whenever good came to them, they said: ‘Ours is this.’ And if evil afflicted them, they ascribed it to evil omens connected with Moosa (Moses) and those with him”
[al-A’raaf 7:131]
And the people of Saalih said:
“They said: ‘We augur ill omen from you and those with you’”
[al-Naml 27:47]
And the people mentioned in Soorat Yaa-Seen said to their Messengers:
“They (people) said: ‘For us, we see an evil omen from you; if you cease not, we will surely stone you…’”
[Yaa-Seen 36:18].
Just as the people of kufr think alike, so too their words and deeds are similar. This applies to everyone who attributes the occurrence of bad things or the loss of good things to what the Messengers brought or to part of it; that comes under this stern criticism.
Allaah says in response to them:“Say: ‘All things”, good and bad,“are from Allaah”, i.e., by His will and decree and creation.
Then Allaah says:“Whatever of good reaches you”, i.e., in your religious and worldly affairs,“is from Allaah”who is the One Who bestows them and makes it easy to attain them by facilitating their means.
“but whatever of evil befalls you”, in your religious and worldly affairs,“is from yourself”, i.e., because of your sins and what you have earned, and what Allaah forgives is greater.
Allaah has opened to His slaves the gates of His kindness and has bid them enter by His grace and bounty. He has told them that sins prevent His bounty, so if a person does them he should not blame anyone but himself, because he is the one who has prevented the grace and bounty of Allaah from reaching him.
End quote.Tafseer al-Kareem al-Rahmaan(p. 188).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“And if some good reaches them, they say, ‘This is from Allaah,’ but if some evil befalls them, they say, ‘This is from you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم).’ Say: ‘All things are from Allaah’” [al-Nisa’ 4:78], then in the next verse He says (interpretation of the meaning):“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself”. How can we reconcile between them?
He replied:
They may be reconciled by noting that the first verse refers to the decree of Allaah, i.e., it is from Allah; He is the one who decrees it. The second verse refers to the cause i.e., whatever of evil befalls you, you are the cause, and the One Who decrees evil and decrees the punishment for it is Allaah. End quote.
Liqaa’aat al-baab il-Maftooh(no. 15, question no. 15).
And Allaah knows best.
- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M
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