Islamic Articles, - In Praise of the Home-Maker

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It's an icy cold winter's morning sitting in the comforts of my home and enjoying a hot cuppa coffee. Suddenly feelings of inner contentment and serenity engulf me. It dawns on me - far too many women feel unimportant, unrecognised and apologetic for being full-time housewives. I prefer the term 'homemaker' - an infinitely better description of a tremendously important role. And so, as an occasion arises with its heavy demands on women, let us reflect upon the vital art of homemaking.
How special you feel in a home that is always open with a warm welcome. The kind of old-fashioned home with enough love to spare for outsiders, which beckons you to sit down and relax. In it you'll find a wise blend of order and flexibility.
A mother who doesn't fuss if her children and friends run in and out... who is never too busy to sit down for a chat with a friend, a confused teenager or lonely widow. Not that she isn't busy or creative. She probably is, but she recognizes one of the advantages of being Queen of the Home; of having flexitime, which allows her to set aside plans in order to help someone in need, or to rush into the garden to share a small wonder with a child.
Lifestyles and options are changing. Many women need, or prefer to work. But full-time home making is a career option, which allows you to make of it what you will. It requires many skills ranging from communication and management to cookery and economics. She'll find time to listen to her family, to friends young and old, rendering invaluable emotional "first-aid."
A good homemaker knows the home is the heart of society - a place where family and friends can be nurtured. In swiftly changing times it can be provide a sense of security and continuity where children soak up happy experiences and memories that will affect their whole lives.
If you're a bride, anticipate your career as a homemaker with joy. If you're a mature woman who has spent years learning the art of home-making, never be apologetic about being 'only a housewife.' Glow with pride at having chosen such a vital role.
I have come to value this 'way of life' through the will and grace of ALLAH TA'ALA by blessing me with a stay-at-home mother who showered me with guidance, compassion, generosity and love. And I in turn will do the same to my kids.
May ALLAH TA'ALA give us all women the faith of Aasiyah (Radhiyallahu Anha), purity of Maryam (Radhiyallahu Anha), love of Khadija (Radhiyallahu Anha), affection and knowledge of Aa'ishah (Radhiyallahu Anha), and the favour of being with them in Jannah. Aameen.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Islamic Articles, - 7 Things Your Muslim Wife Won’t Tell You

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What’s Going On Under the Hijab?
Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married to for years.
One minute she’s perfectly fine. The next, she’s crying like a baby.
She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied.
After several years of marriage (and counselling) I’ve learned to not worry so much about what my wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say.
With this information in mind, I’ve put together a quick list of things Muslim men should be aware of when it comes to their wife’s mind.
1. Above All, She Wants Your Love
This harkens back to a post I wrote a couple of months ago called “Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?”
In this article I explained that men desire respect from their wives, and women desire love from their husbands.
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.
That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.
2. She’s Bored
It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel.
And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home.
Just do something every now and then to break the monotany.
3. She Wants to Be Complimented
Appreciation.
Everybody wants it.
No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals.
But she does.
And she does that on top of all the other things in her life:
Working or going to school.
Caring for the kids.
Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family.
A simple “thank you” is a good start.
4. She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy.
Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife.
Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman.
Don’t compare her to any other female, except to encourage her to emulate the pious Sahabiyyah.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha (RA) even got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife.
5. She Wants You to Help Her Become A Better Muslimah
If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to watch this video I did a couple of weeks ago for Muslim men. In this video I stress the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days.
Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.
6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true.
Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.”
Sahih Bukhari
So, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating the things your husband does for you.
But very often, you Brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks for things in your character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and she has to work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain and nag.
7. More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna be fun.
They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe you’re gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her.
Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Islamic Articles, - A Lost Sunnah , How theProphet (SAW) Behavedin his Home

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Since childhood we men see our mothers and sisters working in the kitchen , doing the daily routine household chores of our home.
After we grow up , we behave in the same way and like the “King who enters in his house” (and does nothing) , we start commanding thing and start getting it done by the wife or the servant.
We only remember the ayat from the Qur’an “wherein men are allowed to have 4 wives…” but easily forget how the Prophet(sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)behaved when he was in his home.
So what did Prophet(sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)do when he would spend time in his home. ?
Order everyone to clean the house ??NO
Lie down on the bed and leave as it is ??NO
Order nicest dishes to be prepared ??NO
Eat and Sleep ??NO
So what did Prophet do when he would spend time in his home. ?
The Apostle of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) occupied himself at his home like a common man.
As Aishah (ra) relates, he used to clean his clothes, milk the sheep and himself do his odd jobs. She also says that he would mend his clothes, repair his shoes and do similar other works.
When asked how the Prophet(sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)occupied himself at home, she replied, “He used to keep himself busy in household chores and went out when the time for prayer came.”
In another report related on her authority, she is reported to have said, “The Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to repair his shoes, mend his clothes and occupied himself at home even as any of you occupy yourself.”
Aishah (ra) relates, “Allahs Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was very softhearted, the most kind of all. He smiled much.”
Anas (ra) says that “he had not seen a man who was more clement and nice to his household members than the Apostle of Allah.”
It is related on the authority of Aishah (ra) that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “The best of you is one who is most nice to his wife and children and I am the nicest among you.”

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M