General Articles, - Controlling Rage

In the Qur’an, the control of anger is described as exemplary behavior since it hinders harmful reactions likely caused by it.
Those who give in times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and pardon other people —Allah loves the good-doers. (Surah Al ‘Imran; 134)
Although rage may surface as an instant reaction in particular situations, a believer should comply with the description in this verse by controlling it.
That is because rage clouds one’s mind and hinders sound reasoning. In such a case, a person runs the risk of transgressing the limits of Allah, since the emotional judgments he makes under the influence of anger will usually be rash and incompatible with Qur’anic ethics.
A believer must immediately strive to overcome resentment he feels pertaining to personal matters, especially toward other believers, and try to replace it with compassion and mercy.
If a person’s anger is based on unjust grounds, then he has no right to be furious in the first place. He must accept his mistake, apologize and make up for his misbehavior.
But even if he was in the right, he must still control anger, and in compliance with the verse, it is better to forgive.
What has been related so far concerns the mundane situations believers are likely to encounter.
Apart from these there is a group of people who become angry at the least provocation. They actually fail to grasp some basic faith-related issues, such as putting one’s trust in Allah or recognizing the fact that all people are under His control.
In the Qur’an Allah reveals:
Everything in the heavens and the earth belong to Allah. He knows what you are engaged upon. On the Day when they are returned to Him, He will inform them of what they did. Allah has knowledge of all things. (Surat An-Nur:64)

Fathwa, - Husband is not obliged tosupport wife's child from previous marriage

Question
assalamualaikom,I am newly embraced in islam and marreid for the 2nd time to a divorced muslim man.He have 2kids from his 1st wife now living with us.We dont hve kids of our own since 5yrs of merriage.Back in my christian life b4,i marreid for the 1st time and hve a son but our marreige didnt last.Raising my son till he reach the of 6yrs old i leave him to the costudy of my aunt and decided to work abroad where i met this divorced muslim man.Withouth a doubt i accept his proposal,i converted and we get marreid.B4 we get marreid,me husband know that i hve a son.My problem now i about my son.My husband not give me any help or support for my son and telling me that its forbidden in islam to support any christian.Me as a mother is too hard to hear that fact.Rather he keep on telling me to bring my son here with us to live together which i wanted too but,him as a father,a husband and a man,i cannot trust my son to him,only reason why i refused to bring my here with us.He is a hot tempered man and used to beat us,me and his own kids for just simple mistakes.Not only simple beat but severely beating that i cannot imagine how a man,a father who have fear to ALLAH can do that.Please advice me what to do about my son.I insist to my husband if i can work, so i can send support to my son but he wont let me..I know wives in islam is not allowed to work. Only at home.,but what about my case? my son?Me as a mother, it hurts,because its like im abandoning my own son.....pls advicE me,i want my son to be a muslim soon inshALLAH...JAZZAKALLAH KHAYRAN
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you upon the blessing of embracing Islam as this is a great bounty that requires from a person to be grateful to Allaah for it. Among being grateful to Allaah for it, is to do all that makes you remain firm and steadfast ]on this religion[, like seeking beneficial knowledge, performing good deeds and befriending righteous and pious women.
You should know that the statement of your husband that it is forbidden in Islam to support any Christian is a statement that contradicts the Sharee’ah, as the Sharee’ah permitted us to be kind to the non-Muslims who are not belligerent to Muslims; Allaah says )what means(: }Allaah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes — from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allaah loves those who act justly.{ ]Quran 60:8[
Also, you should know that a young child is ruled to be a Muslim as long as one of his parents is a Muslim. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81957.
As regards spending on your son, then it is his father who is obligated to spend on him, and your husband does not have to spend on him unless he does so as an act of kindness, in which case he will be rewarded for doing so. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86141.
In case his father is dead or insolvent and is unable to spend on him, then it is his mother who is obligated to spend on him, as stated by the jurists.Ibn Qudaamahsaid: “It is an obligation upon the mother to spend on her child if he has no father; this is the same view of Abu Haneefah and Ash-Shaafi’i. If the father is insolvent, then the mother is obligated to spend on him, and she is entitled to ask his father to reimburse her when he becomes solvent.”
Therefore, if you have no money to spend on him, then it is not an obligation to endeavor to find work in order to spend on him and it is not an obligation upon your husband to give you permission to work.However, since your husband does not object to your son living with you, it might be more appropriate for you to accept it and be patient with your husband so that you will be able to nurture your son and guide him and educate him in a good manner; this is better than your son being with his maternal aunt especially if she is a non-Muslim.
On the other hand, a husband is obligated to have good marital relations with his wife and treat her in kindness; we have already clarified this in Fataawa 88304and 86618.
Indeed, it is a great evil for a husband to harm his wife and his children and abuse them, as this is misconduct and bad temperament. So, you should advise him in a gentle manner and supplicate Allaah to rectify him. In case you are harmed by staying with him, then you have the right to ask for divorce, so you should resort to it if you think that there is more benefit for you in doing so, otherwise you should be patient.
Allaah Knows best.

Fathwa, - A father should not feel shame if his sons support him financially

Question
Dear Brother, Asalam Alaikum , I am retired teacher served for 40 years in hyderabad india has written and compiled books on Islam, appealed for publication, but unfortunately I received no response. The reason best know to Allah. I have been suffering for Heart and diabetic aliment since 20 years. I have 2 daughters married )somehow( by His Mercy and three sons I have educated them now earning their livelihood one married. I am a honest God fearing man and I never taken loan or any thing from any members of my family. Though my sons supports us but I feel I it is unfair, and feel Hurt. Please guide me what to do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
We answer your question in the following three points:
1- There is no blame on you that your children spend on you and there is nothing wrong with this. The earning of the child is pure and lawful for his father if he is in need, rather the earning of the child is the best that his parent deserves. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 1569.
2- Your qualities of being pious, truthful and content and not desiring what is in the hands of others are good qualities to which you should hold fast; as they are a bounty and favor from Allaah.
3- Seek the reward from Allaah for your sickness and be content with the Decree and Predestination of Allaah and with the affliction of not being solvent that Allaah afflicted you with. You should look at the people who are in worse situations than yourself. You should know that Allaah is Merciful to His slaves. Allaah afflicts a person with something and that person thinks that it is a punishment from Allaah while in reality it is a blessing. Besides, you should not show displeasure or feel discontent )with the Decree of Allaah( as this is a sin and prohibited by Allaah Who says )what means(: }And leave ]i.e. desist from[ what is apparent of sin and what is concealed thereof. Indeed, those who earn ]blame for[ sin will be recompensed for that which they used to commit.{]Quran 6:120[
Allaah Knows best.

Fathwa, - Imprisoned husband is obliged to provide for hiswife and child

Question
In Islam, imprisonment of husband, is he liable to pay maintenance of child and wife?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is obligatory upon the husband to spend on his wife and child. This ruling applies to the imprisoned husband like other husbands. If he cannot afford to spend on them, then he is like all other husbands, i.e. his wife has the right to raise the matter to an Islamic judge and seek separation from him due to that, and if she wants to be patient with him, then she can do so.Ibn Qudaamahsaid: “In conclusion, if a man does not spend on his wife for him being insolvent and cannot find what he may spend on her, then the wife has a choice between being patient with him or separating from him.” ]End quote[
Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyahsaid: “If the wife is adversely affected by her husband’s failing to have intercourse with her, this permits annulment of the marriage in all cases, whether the husband did that deliberately or not, or whether he was able to have intercourse or not. The same applies to the wife's maintenance, and it is permissible with greater reason to annul the marriage in case of Eelaa')a husband swearing not to have sexual intercourse with his wife and refusing to approach her(according to the consensus of scholars. Accordingly, the ruling of the captive and the imprisoned and those whose wives cannot benefit from them, if their wives seek separation from them, is the same like the ruling of the wife of the missing husband according to the consensus of the scholars.” ]End quote[
There is another issue stated by the Shaafi‘i scholars, that is if the wife was the reason behind the imprisonment of her husband without a right cause, then she will have no right to maintenance. Tuhfat Al-Habeeb ‘Ala Sharh Al-Khateeb )a Shaafi‘i book( reads: “If the wife is the reason for the imprisonment of her husband with a right cause, then she will have the right upon her husband )if possible( to spend the night with her like with his other wives and to maintenance, and if it was with no right cause, then she will not deserve such rights because she is the reason behind preventing them.” ]End quote[
This is related to the maintenance of the wife when the husband cannot afford to spend on her.
As for spending on the child, then if the husband is insolvent and the mother can afford it, she should spend on her child and she has the right to ask the husband to compensate her for what she has spent when he becomes solvent. Fat-h Al-Qadeer )a Hanafi book( reads: “If the child has a rich mother, then she should spend on him; however, she has the right to ask him )the insolvent father( later to compensate her for that. If she is pleased with that and does not ask him to compensate her, she will surely be rewarded for that and it is actually of her good character and noble manners.”
Allaah Knows best.