Women site, - Bashfulness -II

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The bashfulness of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them:‘Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, was the most bashful after the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam; so much so that he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said about him:“The most bashful person in my nation is ‘Uthmaan”he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, also said about him:“Should I not be bashful of the one from whom the angles are bashful?”
‘Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, was so bashful that he never took off his clothes to take a bath; he would be at his house, behind closed doors, yet he was too bashful to undress himself.
Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:“Abu Moosaa Al-Ash’ari, may Allaah be pleased with him, was another very bashful companion who would wear layers of clothes prior to going to sleep lest he would become uncovered whilst sleeping”The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, advised one of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with him, saying:“Be bashful of Allaah with true bashfulness. He who is truly bashful of Allaah would guard the head and what it contains, the stomach and what it takes in and would remember death and the person’s bones wearing out. He who longs for the )reward( of the Hereafter will abandon the pleasures of this worldly life. He who does this is the one who is truly bashful of Allaah”The head contains the eyes, tongue and ears and thus one who is bashful of Allaah would guard these parts from committing prohibitions. Likewise, being watchful of what one’s stomach consumes is another sign of true bashfulness.
Aspects of praised and dispraised bashfulness:The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said explaining what results from being bashful:“Bashfulness brings nothing but goodness.”Once the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, passed by two people talking and one of them was blaming the other because he was very bashful and telling him that it is not good and reflects weakness to always be bashful, so the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, told him:“Leave him, as bashfulness is a part )reflecting true( belief”.
On the other hand, bashfulness becomes dispraised when a person is too shy to ask about matters in the religion which he is unacquainted with.
‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said:“May Allaah bestow His mercy upon the women of the Ansaar, their bashfulness did not stop them from learning their religion”Sometimes a person may not ask about matters in the religion for a certain reason and requests someone else to ask instead, as ‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him, did. He, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:“I was a man who discharged pre-seminal fluids a lot and was too shy to ask the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, about this, so I requested Al-Miqdaad to ask the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, instead. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, informed him that this only required him to perform ablution and that there was no need to perform Ghusl )i.e. ritual bath(. He, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, also told him that one needs to wash his private parts and his testicles and wash it off his clothes.”‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him, used to perform a Ghusl every time this happened to him, so much so that the skin of his back cracked and it became extremely difficult for him to continue doing so. He had to find out the ruling on this issue but was too shy to ask the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, himself because he was married to his daughter, and this is when he requested Al-Miqdaad, may Allaah be pleased with him, to do it on his behalf.
Along the same lines, some people become too shy to enjoin good and forbid evil. This is certainly un-Islaamic and unjustifiable. A common statement one hears is: “I was too embarrassed to say anything” This is dispraised weakness and is unacceptable in Islaam.
Committing prohibitions in the name of bashfulness:How does this happen? It is like a man claiming that he was too shy to turn down a woman when she extended her hand to shake his hand, so he could not turn here down! Is this bashfulness or immorality? Didn’t the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, say in this regard:“It is graver for one of you to shake hands with a )marriageable( woman than it would be for him to be struck on his head with a steel rod”.
Being too bashful to say or follow the truth:If someone borrows money from you, then you should not be too shy to record this loan because by recording it, one is following the instruction of the Quran.
Comparing the bashfulness of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, to the bashfulness of people today:We have mentioned above the bashfulness of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, and gave examples from their lives regarding this. The contrast between the two is striking, when one compares the examples of the companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, with the situation of people nowadays -- how impolite many people are, how some people expose their ‘Awrah )i.e. parts of the body that must be covered in Islaam(. Some women are too open and freely mix with men, talk to them and shake hands with them without any reservations. Some people use vulgar, impolite and indecent words in public gatherings. Another aspect reflecting the lack of bashfulness in our time are the plays in theaters, in which women walk on stage exposing their beauty to men.
In conclusion, even if bashfulness may have disappeared from the public sphere in our era, as Muslims we should strive hard to maintain and cultivate this noble quality.

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Women site, - Bashfulness -I

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Bashfulness:It is one of the great qualities that Islam enjoins; it is a characteristic that drives a person to do all that is good and stops him from committing that which is bad. Furthermore, it is one of the attributes of the devout slaves of Allaah, and the best among those who possessed this quality was the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.
Aspects of not possessing bashfulness:Why do some women shun the Hijaab )i.e. Islaamic attire for women( and walk around uncaring of their exposed heads and hair?Why do some women wear tight, transparent clothes? Why do many people use profane words in public places, stores, market places and in gatherings? Why do some people borrow money and act harshly with those who lent them the money; refuse to repay the debt at the due time and speak to the lenders in a deceitful manner? Why do men and women freely intermix and talk to each other as if it were a normal permissible situation?
What is the reason behind the spread of these phenomena and others like them? The answer is that many people have lost one of the great characteristics encouraged by Islaam – namely bashfulness.
It is no exaggeration to say that bashfulness is completely lost from the hearts of many people nowadays, while it has considerably decreased in the hearts of others, and therefore, sinning openly has become a widespread behavior.
Types of bashfulness:Bashfulness either comes naturally to a person or it is something that is learned and cultivated. Bashfulness was created to be a natural character of our parents, namely Aadam and Eve. This was manifested when they rushed to conceal their private parts that became exposed as a result of their disobeying Allaah and eating from the prohibited tree, using the leaves of the trees of Paradise. Thus, this was the undefiled, natural state in which man was created.
However, this inherent bashfulness gets corrupted due to many reasons, like parents dressing their daughters with indecent clothes and getting them accustomed to this from a young age. You may find in some families that the girls wear revealing clothes in the house in front of their brothers, and then relatives, until finally they venture outside the house in front of other people.
Another matter that destroys bashfulness is a woman going out to work without a pressing need, while she is in principle supposed to stay at home and concentrate on the upbringing of her children. Allaah tells us the story of the two young ladies who were cultivated righteously and who were forced to go out due to their only supporter – their father – being too old and weak to go out. They were helped by Prophet Moosaa, may Allaah exalt his mention, and when their father wanted to reward him, he could not go to him, so he sent one of these two righteous young ladies calling him to meet her father. Allaah described her saying )which means(:“Then one of the two women came to him walking with bashfulness”]Quran 28: 25[
She went to him totally covered – even her face was veiled, because covering the face was known even during the pre-Islaamic era, as in the famous story of the wife of An-Nu’maan whose face cover fell down while walking past by a group of men, so she immediately placed one hand on her face to cover it, while picking up the face cover using the other hand.
Bashfulness is an inherent, natural quality in women, but nowadays we see many of them going out dressed in improper and un-Islaamic garments; they laugh with men and joke around with them.
Bashfulness is so important in Islaam that certain Islamic rulings have been based on it, such as the marriage of a virgin girl: ‘Aa’isha, may Allaah be pleased with her, said:“I asked the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, about a virgin girl being married off to someone, should her parents seek her consent or not?” He, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said: “Yes, her consent should be sought”. I said: “But she would be to shy to say her opinion when she is asked her opinion” He, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, replied: “Her consent is if she remains silent )when asked(.”
The Prophets are the most bashful people:The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:“Bashfulness and faith are paired, so if one of them disappears the second disappears as well.”
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah Almighty is Hayiy )which implies bashfulness( Sitteer )which implies one who likes veiling( so when one of you is bathing he should veil himself )from others lest they see him(”]Ahmad[
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, also said:“Allaah Almighty is Hayiy )which implies bashfulness( and The Most Generous, He would be bashful to turn down His slave empty-handed )i.e. un-responded( when he raises his hands supplicating”
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, further said:“From the sayings of the Prophets who were before: If you have no shame then do whatever you wish.”This is a warning for those who are shameless that they will find the outcome of their shameless actions and behavior on the Day of Judgment and will be punished for it. It is a natural result that one does anything he desires when he loses bashfulness, but then Allaah will punish him for his ill conduct.
The Prophets and Messengers, may Allaah exalt their mention, were extremely bashful, to the point that no spot of the skin of Prophet Moosaa, may Allaah exalt his mention, was exposed or seen by others. Likewise, Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was so bashful that he never named things by their real name when it came to talking about embarrassing things and he used figurative words instead. Once a woman came asking him, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, how to perform Ghusl )ritual bath( after her menses, but he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was so bashful that he could not explain to her how to clean her private parts, so he requested ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, to tell her how.
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said:“Every religion has a distinct characteristic it emphasizes on, and for Islaam it is bashfulness.

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Women site, - My Life as a New Muslim

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I am Fathima Liebenberg, a white Muslim woman converted to Islam in 1995. I am very proud to say! I am a Muslim, but if it was not for my son I would never have been a Muslim. For me it was a hard and long struggle because it cost me my job, friends and family.
My life before Islam
I was a very pious Christian who went to the Pentecostal churches. I used to collect the street children and take them to the church and Sunday school. My life consisted only of reading and studying the bible, until my son told me about Islam.
My son came home one day and said, "Mummy! Why don't you become a Muslim?'
I was shocked at the very idea and said, "Never'.
He said, "Mummy! Islam is such a pure and clean religion, they pray five times a day'.
That is when I decided to read the books and the translation of the Noble Quran. The more I read the Quran, the more I was convinced that Islam was for me. I turned to Allaah and finally I found peace and tranquility. I hid it from my family until one day I decided to phone my brother and tell him I was now a Muslim.
My brother was so shocked, because we were very devoted and pious Christians, and I was the only one to be converted to Islam. My family phoned me about a year ago and told me never to contact them again as I now was no longer their sister. I love my family very much and miss them but I know one day we will meet again, Insha’ Allaah.
I was so happy when I received my 'Muslim Identity Card' that I felt like standing on the roof tops and shouting out to the world that I am a Muslim. I lost my family, but gained a new family in Islam. My new family, the Muslims, were so wonderful, I cannot express it. I would like to make special mention of my appreciation to the Fakrodeen family of Prince Edward St. I love you who treated me as if I was part of the family, May Allaah reward you all.
Appa Tasneem JazakAllaah, when I am in your Madrasah with all the little ones, it feels like I am in Jannah surrounded by little angels. I am so happy that Allaah Taala has chosen me to be a Muslim.
I have worn the Hijaab since I became a Muslim and will never take it out. My only wish is to go to Macca even though I doubt that it will be possible but Insha’ Allaah, one day Allaah will provide me with the means to reach there. Each time I want to be closer to Allaah, I read the Sunnahs of our Beloved Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
Paper will not be enough for everything that I wish to tell you about Islam. I also want to say Jazakumullah to the Kazi family, and I would like to thank our Ulamas of the Jamiatul Ulama )KZN(. And to our brother Ahmad Deedat who is so ill. May Allaah cure you and return you back to all of us.
Islam is a way of life. Islam means peace and a Muslim is one who strives for peace through his submission to Allaah. A Muslim's first duty is to Allaah the Almighty and it is out of your deep love for Allaah that your duties become acts of devotion.
It is no easy task for me as a white Muslim lady, living amongst Christians, but I keep my head up high and I am so very proud to be a Muslim. So, my dear brothers and sisters if you are born Muslim but have not been a dutiful one it is not too late. If you have not started yet, you can start tomorrow or even tonight. Brothers and sisters, as Muslims, keep your heads up high and show the world that you are proud to be Muslims.
Yours Sister-in-Islam,

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