Islamic Marriage Articles, - 11 Food Tips for Your Wedding

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Food is the key element of almost any party, whether it's a wedding or any other social occasion.
For Muslim weddings, it is important to remember that a Walima is Sunnah, and food is normally served on this happy occasion. There are a couple of things to consider here:
1. Start planning well in advance
You may think food is something that should only take a couple of days or weeks to plan. Not so.
You will need to book catering services or make arrangements for food at least a couple of months in advance if you want things to work out in an efficient and organized way. There are a lot of details involved, so don't wait until the last minute to do this!
2. Write down all the things involved in food preparation
This includes cooking the food, getting waiters and waitresses to serve the food, deciding what kind of menu you want, how you want the food to look, etc.
Write down all of the tasks involved so you can get a clear picture of exactly what needs to be done.
3. Select a wedding food committee
This committee is responsible for taking care of all food arrangements for the wedding. It must work in consultation with you. You will make the main decisions, but they will take care of the details including booking caterers, getting servers, etc. Get a friend with experience in this field to be in charge of this committee. Make sure to give them a written list of things to do.
A note of warning though: make sure that once the caterer has been booked, the food committee doesn't meddle unnecessarily in the arrangements.
Let the professionals handle their territory in the way they know best. The wedding committee should just take care of booking the caterers, providing them with the right guidelines for food preparation, and occasionally checking up on them.
4. Establish a budget
How much should you really spend on wedding food?
This can only be determined after careful research. If you've started planning on time and you've got your food committee in place, give them a deadline to get this information to you by (i.e. the cost of catering, servers, etc.).
Then once you have the options in front of you, you can decide how much you're willing to spend on food for the wedding.
Islamically, weddings should be simple. Consider this Hadith: 'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)
5. Decide if you want to cook the meal yourself or cater
There are advantages and disadvantages to each option.
a. Cooking your own food:
Advantages:
1.you offer exactly the kind of food you know your guests will like
2.you could save more money
3.you can offer your own personal touch to the menu
Disadvantages:
1.you will be taking on a lot of work with no professional staff to help you
2.you must remember that cooking involves not just making the food, but ensuring that all utensils and wedding table paraphernalia are set up properly
3.you will have to work out how the food is going to be served
b. Catering:
Advantages:
1.you have one less burden to worry about-caterers usually take care of all details related to preparing the meal, utensils, etc. but confirm this with them
2.catering can lend a more professional look to your wedding
3.they may have special arrangements to keep food warm until it is served to guests.
Disadvantages:
1.it can be expensive
2.you could be restricted to the menus the caterers are offering
6. "Fats, oils & sweets: USE SPARINGLY!"
This was the title of a section of the food pyramid guide which is used to teach about good nutrition.
If you can cut back on these things in the wedding menu for the benefit of ALL guests (those with heart conditions, diabetes, etc. and those who don't have these problems) you will be doing everyone a favor.
For instance, for meat, try using lean meat in dishes. You can reduce oil in rice and other foods.
For dessert, instead of serving the traditional ones which may be dripping with syrupy sweet goo or are full of fattening cream (i.e. most wedding cakes) consider servings of fresh fruit. This is a really good option in summer, especially.
7. If you're catering make sure they will allow you to use your own meat
This is important for those Muslims conscious about eating Zabiha meat. Make sure that you have the option of providing meat to the caterers for you meal. If not, consider switching to another caterer.
8. Ensure the food will be warm when it is served What could be more disappointing than cold, unappetizing wedding food?
There are different ways of getting around this problem. If you decide to get the wedding food catered, discuss this issue with the caterers and see what solution they propose. Some places may arrange for burners to keep the food warm throughout the wedding.
If you are cooking yourself, you can also look into renting burners for this purpose, but check with the wedding hall administrators to ensure they don't have any restrictions about this (they may say no to burners if they feel it is a fire hazard to have them there).
If burners are not an option, another way of getting around this dilemma is to ensure the hall you book has an oven and microwave, preferably more than one. That way food can be warmed in time for the meal. The drawback of this approach though is that it will require a number of people to efficiently warm the food in time for serving.
9. Diversify your menu
Should you serve a traditional Middle Eastern, Indian, Malaysian, or American menu?
Living in a country that's a "melting pot" gives you the advantage of serving guests food of different ethno-cutural backgrounds.
Even if the bride and the groom are of the same cultural background, it should be remembered that not all of the guests may be. Also, kids today may be of different cultural backgrounds, but when it comes to food, hamburgers, pizza and french fries, for instance, are favorites across the board.
You don't have to have an entirely Turkish or Pakistani menu. You can have the main meal of one ethnic background and the dessert of another.
Also, don't forget to take into account the needs of those with certain dietary restrictions. Can you offer a sugar-free dessert for the benefit of guests who have diabetes? Can you cut back on lots of rich, fatty food for the benefit of everyone, especially the heart patients among your guests?
10. Decide how the food is going to be served
There are different ways caterers serve food at weddings and other such occasions. These include the following:
*.American service: individual plates are prepared and hand-delivered to guests. You will need lots of organized servers for this to work properly and efficiently
*.Buffet style: long tables of food are set up and guests serve themselves. This is actually an option that can save you money because fewer servers are necessary. Also, less food is wasted, since guests take only as much as they want, instead of being stuck with a specific portion
*.Family style: in this setup, large platters of food are brought to each table and people help themselves. This can be helpful if you have families coming, but it will obviously require servers, which will cost more money
11. Take into account clean up
When you're booking caterers, make sure they are willing to take care of cleanup as well. Otherwise, you, your family and friends may have to end up washing dishes on the wedding day when you've got more important things to look after.

- PUBLISHED by" NajimudeeN_M-INDIA "http://google.com

Islamic Marriage Articles, - Muslim World Marriage Customs

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In the Muslim world, marriage customs and traditions vary as much as the colors in a rainbow.
All retain the Islamic obligatory acts, which make a marriage valid and include other practices, which are individual to their surrounding cultures.
Here are customs from some parts of the Muslim world. Please note: not all Muslim marriage customs are necessarily in line with Islamic values.
India and Pakistan
In the Indian subcontinent, a marriage is reserved to three days of customs and traditions.
The Mehndi is the event where you put henna on the bride and groom's hands. Marked by traditional songs and dances, it sometimes extends to two days - one day over at the groom's place to put henna on his hand and the second day over at the bride's house to put henna on hers.
The actual Nikah is called a Shadi, which is traditionally done by the bride's side. This is the signing of official paperwork in the presence of an Imam.
After signing these papers and doing some religious ceremony, the couple is declared husband and wife. To celebrate, guests eat of the many lavish dishes that are served.
To announce the marriage officially the Walima takes place as a feast given by the groom's family. Both husband and wife welcome the guests and mingle with them while people eat dinner.
The United Arab Emirates (UAE)
As a tradition in the UAE, the setting of the wedding date marks the beginning of the bride's preparation for her wedding.
Although the groom is also put through a series of preparations, the bride's are more elaborate and time consuming.
She is lavished with all sorts of traditional oils and perfumes from head to toe. Traditionally, she is not seen for forty days by anyone except for family members as she rests at home in preparation for her wedding day.
During the week which precedes the wedding, traditional music, continuous singing and dancing take place, reflecting the joy shared by the bride and the groom's families.
Laylat Al Henna (literally, the night of the henna), which takes place a few days before, is very special night for the bride, since it is a ladies' night only.
On this night, the bride's hands and feet are decorated with henna. The back-to-back feasts and celebrations involve both men and women who usually celebrate separately.
Egypt
Egypt has been exposed to many civilizations, such as the Greek, Roman and Islamic ones. The marriage customs of Egyptians make it easy for a couple to get to know one another, for the families meet often.
It starts by the suitor's parents visiting his fiancee's house to get her family approval to complete the marriage and reaching an agreement, which contains two main items: an amount of money, called Mahr, paid by the suitor to his fiancee's family to help them prepare the furniture of their daughter and a valuable jewelry gift, called Shabka, given by the suitor to his fiancee. The value of this gift depends on the financial and social levels of the suitor's family.
When the two parties complete the agreement, they fix an appointed date for the engagement party.
When the house of the new family becomes ready, the two families fix a date for the wedding party.
The night before wedding day, the relatives, friends and neighbors get together to celebrate "the Henna Night".
The next day, the marriage contract is signed and registered. After sunset, the wedding party starts and the couple wears their best dresses and jewelry.
Malaysia
In the Malaysian tradition, the bride and groom are treated as "king and queen for a day".
During the betrothal, the pre-wedding meeting between the bride and the groom's parents, the dowry that will be given to the bride is determined as well as the date of the solemnization.
The berinai (henna application) ceremony is held prior to the wedding. The bride's palms and feet are 'decorated' with the dye from the henna leaves.
Akad Nikah, which is the signing of the contract, is normally presided over by a Kadhi, a religious official of the Syariat (Shariat) Court. A small sum of money called the Mas Kahwin seals the contract.
The recent trend is to hold the solemnization in the mosque as was performed during the Prophet Muhammad's time (peace and blessings be upon him).
Singapore
In the tradition of Singapore, the Mak Andam (beautician) as well as members of the bride's family will waylay the groom and ask for an 'entrance fee after the bride is ready.
Only when they are satisfied with the amount would they allow the groom to see his bride.
After successfully overcoming the 'obstacles', the marriage ceremonies take place. Relatives sprinkle petals and rice (fertility symbols) on the couple seated on the 'throne'.

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Women site, - Men taking charge of women

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Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Men are in charge of women by ]right of[ what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend ]for maintenance[ from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in ]the husband's[ absence what Allaah would have them guard. But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed; and ]finally[, strike them. But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand. And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Knowing and Acquainted ]with all things[.{]Quran 4:34-35[
Like other creatures in this universe, Allaah The Exalted created humans and made living with mates a part of their nature. He Says )what means(:}And of all things We created two mates; perhaps you will remember.{]Quran 51:49[ Then He ordained that the mates of the human be the two parts of only one self. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one self and created from it its mate.{]Quran 4:1[ Subsequently, He willed that the two parts of the one self gather, among the other things that He Willed, to serve as a source of its tranquility, quietness for the nerves, reassurance for the soul, repose for the body and a means to cover, safeguard and protect it. Moreover, this gathering is a source for procreation and expansion of life along with the self's ongoing progress in caring for the tranquility, calmness, reassurance and covering of the gathering place.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.{]Quran 30:21[
}They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.{]Quran 2:187[
}Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth ]righteousness[ for yourselves.{]Quran 2:223[
}O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.{]Quran 66:6[
}And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith - We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds.{]Quran 52:21[
As the two parts of the one self are equal in the sight of Allaah The Almighty and out of His honoring for humankind, He honored the woman and made the reward and compensation of her deeds equal to that of the man's. Moreover, He provided her with the rights of ownership, inheritance and independency of her civil character. Allaah The Exalted created people in the form of male and female; two mates in accordance to the general norm upon which this universe is established. He entrusted the woman with the tasks of pregnancy, birth, suckling and maintaining the fruit of her connection with the man, which is the children.
These tasks are huge and dangerous. Their requirements are neither simple nor easy to be fulfilled without a deeply-set organic, psychic and mental preparation within the entity of the female. It is fair, on the other hand, that the other half – the man – is entrusted with the job of satisfying the necessary needs and providing protection for the woman. In this way, she would be able to devote herself to her difficult job and not be overburdened with the tasks of pregnancy, birth, suckling and maintaining her child, on one hand, and working, being exhausted and staying awake in order to protect herself and her child at the same time on the other. It is also fair that both the man and the woman are endowed with special characteristics in their organic, nervous, mental and psychic formation that help each of them to efficiently fulfill the requirements of his role. This is the reality and your Lord does not wrong anyone.
Along with other characteristics, the woman is provided with gentleness, kindness, quick-excitement and the immediate response for the requirements of childhood with neither awareness nor pre-thinking. That is because all the intrinsic human necessities, even in the one person, are not left for one's disturbed awareness and slow thinking; rather the response for them was made invountary, in order to facilitate immediate fulfillment.
Indeed, the woman does so in what is coercion-like, however it is an internal coercion that is not dictated from the outside, and is mostly nice and desirable in order that her response be quick, on one hand, and comfortable, on the other, regardless of the extent of hardship and sacrifice. It is the doing of Allaah The Almighty, Who perfected all things. These characteristics are not superficial; rather they are deeply-set within the organic, nervous, mental and psychic formation of the woman. Even senior specialist scholars say that these characteristics are deeply-set in every cell because they are established in the formation of the first cell which divides and procreates in order to form the fetus with all his original characteristics.
Along with other characteristics, Allaah The Exalted provided the man with the characteristics of roughness, strength, low-excitement, unhurried response and using his awareness and thinking before movement and response. This is because all his tasks, starting with hunting - which he practiced after coming to this life, fighting - which he usually undergoes to defend his wife and children, satisfying the needs of life, as well as other tasks in this world require some premeditation before execution, and an unhurried response in general. Exactly like women, these characteristics are deeply-set in his very formation.
Such characteristics make the man more capable and eligible to take charge of the woman. Moreover, they oblige him to spend on the woman, which is one of the branches of distributing functions that makes him more entitled to this task. This is because providing for the means of life within the institution of the family and its members are included in this duty. Furthermore, supervising the disposal of wealth within this institution is a task that is nearer to man's nature and task within the family. These are the two factors that the abovementioned Quranic text highlights while it states that men are in charge of women in the Muslim community. It is a cause-based task. Some of these causes are related to formation and preparation, while others are related to the distribution of jobs and functions, and a third group that are related to equality in distribution, on one hand, and charging every part of this distribution with the jobs that are facilitated for him and he is naturally prepared for, on the other hand.
He is, in reality, entitled to take on this task as the man is ready to undergo the task of taking charge of the woman, trained on it and has fulfilled its requirements. This is because the institution of the family cannot stand without entrusting the task of taking charge to someone, like other institutions, though the latter may be less in importance and value. Moreover, while one of the two parts of the human self )the man( is prepared for this task, supported to do it and charged with its obligations, the other part )the woman( is neither prepared nor supported to do this. Therefore, it is not fair to overburden her with this task and charge him with its obligation along with her other duties. Even when she is prepared and scientifically and practically trained to do this, it will negatively affect her readiness to fulfill the obligations of the other role: the job of motherhood, as it also has requirements and preparations. Quick-excitement and immediate response come in the first place as well as other preparations that are deeply-set in the nervous and organic formation of the woman and its effects in her behavior and response.
These are very important issues. It is more dangerous if they are controlled by human whims and left for them to randomly dispose of them at will. When these issues were left to human beings during the pre-Islamic ages of ignorance as well as in the modern ages of ignorance, they threatened the existence of humanity itself and the existence of human characteristics upon which human life is established and with which it is distinguished from creatures.
The nature on which Allaah The Exalted created people already exists and governs, and its rules control human beings, even while they deny, reject its rules and try to ignore them. The following are some of the proof behind this fact:
-The confusion and corruption that afflicts the human life, along with deterioration and collapse and being threatened with destruction and stagnation every time mankind contradicts this norm. The authority of taking charge within the family was shaken, its features are confused and it has deviated from its natural and original norm.
-The woman herself looks to entrust the task of taking charge to the party that it is originally entrusted to within the family. No one can deny that she feels deprived, inferior, worried and sad when she lives with a man who neither fulfills the requirements of taking charge nor has the necessary qualifications and, therefore, he entrusts her with this task. It is an observable fact that all women admit, even the deviant among them who wander in darkness.
-The children who are raised in a family within which the task of taking charge is not entrusted to the father, either because he has a weak character in a way that the character of the mother surpasses and dominates him, or because he is absent due to death, or not having a legitimate father, it is rare that they grow as perfect human beings. It is rare that they grow without deviation to a certain irregularity in their nervous and psychic formation or in their moral and practical behavior.

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