Life in the Cave - Sacrifices of Rasulullah and Abu Bakr - Islamic Stories, -

Life in the Cave - Sacrifices of Rasulullah and Abu Bakr
When Prophet Mohammad (SAW) and Abu Bakr (RA) reached mount Thawr
during themigration to Medina, Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with
him) carried him up the mountain to a cave called after the name of
the mountain, Cave Thawr. Abu Bakr first entered to explore the cave
and be sure that it was safe, closed all holeswith pieces torn off
fromhis clothes, cleaned it and then asked the Prophet (Peace be upon
him) to step in. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) went in and
immediately laid his head in Abu Bakr's lap and fell asleep.
SuddenlyAbu Bakr's foot was stung by a poisonous insect. It hurt so
much that his tears fell on the Prophet's face. The Prophet (Peace be
upon him) immediately applied his saliva on AbuBakr's foot and the
pain went off on the spot. They confined themselves to this cave for
three nights, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 'Abdullah, the son of
AbuBakr would go to see them after dusk, stay thenight there, apprise
them of the latest situation in Makkah, andthen leave in the early
morning to mix with the Makkans as usual and not to draw the least
attention to his clandestine activities. 'Amir bin Fuhairah, while in
the company of other shepherds of Makkah tending his master Abu Bakr's
flock, used to stole away unobserved every evening with a few goats to
the cave and furnished its inmates with a plentiful supply ofmilk.

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Weddings in Islam, - Planning Your Wedding: The 10 Biggest Pre-Wedding Mistakes

Even the smartest, most on-top-of-things couple can make mistakes
during wedding planning. Here are the 10things you should keep an eye
on before saying Ido.
1. Blowing off your budget
It costs a lot of money to put on a wedding. Many excited brides start
booking vendors and making purchases without having a real budget, and
then they're shocked to discover they've spent all of their money (or
their parents' money) and still don't have half the things they need.
If you bounce checks, don't have the money to pay your deposits, or
make your final payments past your vendors' deadlines, your wedding
will not happenas you have planned. Theflowers won't be delivered,
your cake will not be decorated, and the band will not play all night
-- unless you pay up. Planning a wedding is serious business. Make a
budget and keep track of your expenditures.
2. Ordering the wedding gown and/or bridesmaid dresses late
If going for a traditional bridal gown, brides needto place their
orders six to eight months before their weddings. Most gowns are made
to order; if you wait too long before your wedding date to make your
selection, the gown simply may not be ready in time. Bridesmaid
dresses should also be decided upon during the same time period, but
only after the gown has been selected. You want to make sure your
ladies have enough time to get measured and find accessories.
3. Procrastinating on thatprenuptial...
It is a reality these days that people -- even brides -- have assets
they want to protect. (This is particularly prevalent now that there
are so many second marriages where a bride or groom may have children
to whom they want their assets to go in case of death.) Leaving the
discussion of a prenuptialagreement until the week before the wedding
is a sure-fire way to increase the stresslevel by ten thousand percent
-- and endanger the impending marriage. So deal with this potentially
sticky issue months in advance (Zawaj.comEditor: this applies equally
to any provision that the groom or bride may want to include in the
marriage contract).
4. Messing up the marriage license
There are so many rules around marriage licensesthat brides are bound
to make mistakes. Be sure to investigate time restrictions well in
advance of your weddingdate. Get your license 31 days before in some
states -- and you won't be able to legally marry on your wedding day
because it may be valid for only 30 days. Go for your license the day
before your wedding and you may not get it in time, because some
states have a 48-hour waiting period. Another common mess-up if you're
remarrying is not having official divorce papers in time to get the
certificate.
5. Booking guest hotel rooms too late
Brides often leave blocking out hotel rooms for out-of-town guests
until the last minute. If you're marrying in a city (particularly one
where conventions take place) or in a resort town and you don't
investigate hotel availability in advance, you can literallyend up
with not a single room for any of your guests to stay in. Your wedding
might go on -- but no one will be able toattend. Reserve a room block
as early as possible,up to a year in advance.
6. Inviting too many guests
Make sure your guest list and your reception site match numbers-wise.
Youcan't invite 400 people assuming only 250 will RSVP with a yes --
because if 300 happen to say yes, you may have to turn 50 away at the
door.Sites can't just add 10 more tables, as fire laws limit the
maximum number of people in any room at one time. To avoid this,
assume eighty percent will respond yes and limit your guest list
accordingly.
7. Last-minute beauty blunders
Many brides think that scheduling chemical peels the week before their
weddings will leavetheir skin looking angelicon their big days. Others
think having their teeth bleached within days of their weddings will
leavethose pearly whites sparkling. Thinking of tanning the day before
your wedding? Think again: You may end up with blisters instead of
sun-kissed skin. Last-minute beauty treatments can lead to breakouts,
mistakes, or --even worse -- serious infections. Start a long-term
beauty regimen months before the big day and focus on natural and
common-sense measures such as eating a healthy diet and exercising, or
you could risk ruining all the hard work you've done to make your
wedding -- and photos -- perfect. (Never mind putting yourhealth and
happiness at risk for the most important day of your life.)
8. Underpaying postage on invites
You'd be surprised how many brides just stick a stamp on their invites
and drop them in a letterbox. All but a few wedding invitations
require additional postage. The postal service will not take pity on
you -- your invites willbe returned (and rubber-stamped with that
ugly"insufficient postage" message) -- and it will take at least two
weeks (never mind the additional $$) to get them back out the door. Be
sure to get one complete invitation weighed at the post office before
purchasing all your stamps.
9. Ignoring religious restrictions
If you plan on marrying in a house of worship, you need to abide by
the rules. Wearing inappropriate attire or not completing pre-wedding
requirements is grounds for your officiant to stop your wedding before
it begins. As soon as you get engaged, be sure to contact your house
of worship to find out about any potential issues. Some houses of
worship won't let you marry on certain holy dates; make sure to
checkyour wedding date with your officiant before putting down any
deposits for your reception site or vendors.
10. Ignoring weather warnings
Brides marrying outdoorsoften test fate and just wish for the best
when it comes to bad weather. Always have a backup plan -- you may not
have a place to marry at all, or your guests (and you) may be in
misery at the hands of Mother Nature. Temperatures normally around the
balmy 70-degree mark may unexpectedly turn into a boiling 100-degree
debacle; be sure to have outdoor air-conditioning. A hurricane,
flashflood, or gale force winds may visit on your wedding day; make
sure you have an interior alternative or a tent as a back-up location.

Weddings in Islam, - South African Couples Draw Up Own Marriage Contracts

- ●◄ ►● - Published by, M NajimudeeN Bsc - INDIA|®|- - - - *
- Translator:: http://translate.google.com/m/ - ●◄ ►● - > This
article appeared originally in the January 1997 issue of Al-Qalam
magazine in South Africa
Negotiating Issues in the Marriage Contract
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In South Africa, some Muslim couples are no longer just signing the
nikkah register to solemnise their marriage in Islam. They choose
instead to negotiate and sign their very own marriage or nikkah
contract.
The couples at three recent weddings attended by this reportereach did
it differently. While one of the couples decided to enter into a civil
contract, the other two couples took a personal interest in their
marriage contract as opposed to leaving it to atheological group. They
had negotiated on issues regarding matrimonial property regime, the
divorce process, custody, polygamy, sexual relationship and even
relations with in-laws. This they did taking the Shari'ah and their
personal circumstances and needs into consideration.
Although uncertain about its legal status, they felt that they at
leastwill have some common understanding of their rights and
obligations. al-Qalam has since learnt that the Muslim marriage
contract is now recognised by the law.
According to Maulana Mohammed Saeed of the Jamiatul Ulema
Transvaal,signing the traditional marriage register confirms the
solemnising of the marriage contract. It is not a specific contract
negotiated between the partners. Such a contract that regulates their
marriage is separate.
Marriage Contract is New Concept for South AfricanMuslims
While the concept of a marriage contract for most South African
Muslims is foreign, having a marriage contract spelling out the terms
of marriage was not an unusual concept during the early Muslim era as
evidenced by Sukayna bint Husayn, the great granddaughter of the
Prophet (s) and A'ishabint Talha, the niece of A'isha (r.a.).
Presently, many Muslim countries, including Iran, Malaysia, Indonesia,
Tunisia and even where Muslim are in the minority like India have some
kind of marriage contract that couples enter into. In some of these
countries marriage laws are continually reformed. According to a
report by Times of India,"The All India Muslim Personal Law Board will
soon release a marriage contract which will revolutionise the status
of married Muslim women." Reforms aroundmehr, triple talaq and
polygamy had been included.
In South Africa, however, Muslim marriages were not recognised by the
law, so issues of dissolution, custody and maintenance were taken to
an informal judiciary, usually a theological body, to be resolved. The
result was a sometimes messy process, which left couples uncertain and
insecure.
The Experiences of Three Couples
Al-Qalam spoke to two couples who had recentlychosen to negotiate and
sign a marriage contract.
Mohammed felt that the present process was inadequate, and that there
was a need to spell out certain provisions in the contract to protect
his and his wives rights. His wife Farhana became aware that terms and
conditions could be stipulated in a marriage contract from her
readings of Islamic history. For her it was important to set the
boundaries of their relationship, and state from the very outset what
their positions there were on various issues, and what the partners
understood their responsibilities to be.
Ruwaida also negotiated a marriage contract. She first heard about the
existence of such a thing in Jordan, she felt it was needed to avoid
problems in the future, and it was also importantso that other people
could become aware thatthere were other ways ofsecuring their rights
within a marriage.
While her husband was uncertain about the necessity for such a
contract, believing that the Shari'ah takes care ofthe marriage
contract, henevertheless agreed to enter into a personalised contract.
Farhana and Ruwaida feltstrongly that signing a marriage contract was
important for women who have had to face thebrunt of unfair rulings
onthe part of some 'ulama.
Another Muslim couple that al-Qalam spoke to decided not to negotiate
their own marriage contract, and opted for the South African civil
marriage instead. For them it was unnecessary to re-negotiate what
wasalready in law, although they admitted there was a gender bias in
custody rulings. Their understanding of marriage contracts was that it
was a tool used in early stages of Islamic history, when there was no
legislation in place to deal with marital disputes.
This new innovation, while lauded by some, has been criticised by
others. One Maulana felt that while it might be a good idea to draw up
themarriage contract in this way, the contract was inadequate in that
it was not possible for it to deal with issues important in a marriage
like justice with rahmah, fikr, and love. Mohammed faced criticism at
his wedding when one guest greeted him after the nikah and told him
that the contractwas "a whole lot of hog-wash."

Weddings in Islam, - 8 General Tips for a Muslim Wedding

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"Published by, M NajimudeeN Bsc - INDIA|®|"- - - - *-Translator:->
http://translate.google.com/m/ -
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There are plenty of things to consider in wedding planning and
arrangement. These are afew things which are either unknown or
forgotten:
1. Invite the poor
According to one Hadith, the worst meal is the feast of a Walima in
which rich people are invited and poor people are left out.
Don't let your Walima be a class-based affair. Makesure that all
guests are welcome, regardless of their economic situation.
2. Invite a multiethnic audience
Make your wedding party more representative of the Ummah (the
worldwide Muslim community) by inviting Muslims of different ethnic
backgrounds, whether it's the local Imam and his family who are
Turkish, the African-American Muslima who accepted Islam recently or
the Lebanese family in your neighborhood.
3. Practice gender privacy at your wedding
This means providing women-only space where sisters who observe
different levels and types of Hijab feel comfortable.
Most sisters like to dress up for a wedding, but they want to enjoy
themselves without being watched by strange men. Also remember that
your other guests have nothing to lose with this kind of set up so in
the end, providing for women-only space worksout for the best for
everyone.
There are different ways to accommodate women-only space in a hall.
*. You can have separate rooms for men and women. This is the
idealsolution for maximum privacy.
*. You can have a room in which there is a curtainor a row of tall plants.
*. In larger halls, you can make two distinct areas.
If your family tradition is not to have weddings arranged in this way,
consider this: you will Insha Allah (if Allah wills) receive Allah's
blessings ifyou do so for seeking to accommodate your guests and
trying to observe an Islamic practice which has been in place for
about 1400 years.
In programs where women-only space is provided, children need to be
divided up between parents. Older boys should stay with their dads.
Older girls stay with mom. Young girls who are toilet trained can also
go with dad.
It should also be remembered that professional photographers can
violate the privacy of individuals by taking photos or videos
withouttheir consent. If you are taking photos or videos make sure not
to include non-relatives or those who do not want their picture taken.
4. Set up a hospitality line
This is a line of hosts whowill welcome guests when they arrive at the wedding.
Those who will be included in the hospitality line need to be told in
advance that they will be part of it. They should not be told once
they reach the hall for the wedding.
5. Have the hosts makerounds during dinner
When guests are digging into dinner, hosts should go around, making
sure everyone has what they need and inviting those who are finished
to take more.
6. Set the stage
It should be decided by the hall committee who will sit on stage at
the wedding and exactly where. This has to be done carefully. The
feelings of relatives and close family friends are important to
consider when making decisions about this.
7. Make sure to set up agift table
Where are you going to put all those goodies? Setup a specific gift
table near the stage with a sign saying "Please put gifts here. Thank
you."
8. Mind the bathrooms
Take into account how many guests are coming and see if the
washroomsat the hall are big enough. If it's a large gathering,
request hall administrators to have a cleaning person come in every
half hour or so to clean up quickly in between.
Also, if one of the prayersoccurs during the wedding, that means the
washrooms will be used for Wudu (ablution before prayer). Ask the hall
administrators to accommodate this by providing extra paper towels.
9. Avoid making unnecessary announcements
Avoid making unnecessary announcements of any sort during the program
and keep the microphone close by so children do not mess around with
it.