Be What You Want Your Child To Be

These are words that should be addressed to parents and mentors in
order to achieve a general benefit: Whoeverlikes his child to be
something, should first be that something.
Be a positive role model:
Dear parent, your child is attached to you. You are his role model and
leaderand the basic moral benchmark on which he depends in all that he
does. So, be a positive role model for him to follow in your faith and
worship of Allaah The Almighty; and be a positive role model for him
in your morals, manners and good treatment. In other words, be a
positive role model in the complete sense of the word, through your
practical treatment with your children, following the example of the
Prophet, .
Be fair:
If you are not fair, in no way can you be able to judge between two
opponents even in a trivial case. Being so, what do you think of the
whose case occupies you throughout your entire life? You would not be
able to direct your child in the manner you like if he feels you
prefer his brother over him. That is the kind of injustice which the
child never accepts, as the Messengerof Allaah, , did not accept
earlier.
Be with him part of his time
Dear parents, you have no valid excuse before Allaah The Almighty, nor
any argument that is acceptable to the child tojustify your failure to
finda specific time to sit with him, which is his right over you and
everyone should be given his due right. That is also the trust of
responsibility, and Allaah The Almighty commands you to give back the
trusts to those who are liable to them. O you who leave your child to
others to bring him upon your behalf; do not weep on the morrow
because you are held guilty (for his negligence of you) for as you
waste him when he is a child, he shall waste you when you grow old.
Be tolerant:
Frequent blame and reproach for everything, whether or not it is
significant, inevitably leads to adverse results, the child would
neither follow the given advice, nor would he give up (the mistake).
The result would be that you wouldlose your position of aweand
reverence in the sight of your child, who, in turn, would leave you
and refrain from listening to you. Anas served the Prophet, for ten
years, during which time he never heard from him (any word of rebuke
even as trivial as) 'Uff'.
Be intelligent:
Utilize suitable opportunities and current events to implantall the
values and morals you like in the heart of your child. What you
giveyour child would then be imprinted in his heart, and become
inerasable. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
made Ibn 'Abbaas ride behind him on a donkey, and of course, he (Ibn
'Abbaas ) was happy about riding behind the best of all creation on
the same mount. He taught him words which remained not only in his
memory but also in the memory ofthe whole Ummah (nation): "If you are
mindful of Allaah, He will protect you, and if you are mindful of
Allaah, youwill find Him ever with you. When you ask for anything ask
it from Allaah, and if you seek help seek help from Allaah. Know that
if the people were to unite to do you some benefit, they could benefit
you only with what Allaah had written for you, and that if they were
to unite to do you some harm, they could harm you onlywith what Allaah
had written against you. The pens (of writing the Divine decree) have
beenlifted and the pages havedried (of their ink)." [At-Tirmithi]
Similarly, the Messenger of Allaah, , rescued theboy before bad habits
were inculcated in his breast, and said to him once he noticed any
kindof bad behavior: "O boy! mention the Name of Allaah, and eat with
your right hand and eat of what is nearer to you (in the dish)."
[Al-Bukhaari] The boy then did not forget it, as shown in his comment,
" Since then I have applied those instructions when eating."
Be a storyteller :
A story has the influence of magic on the soul. It absorbs the child's
mind and makes him live with its heroes. So, it is due onyou, father
and mother in particular, to pay special attention to relating stories
to children. One-third the Noble Quran consists of stories about
ancient people. Moreover, the Prophetic Sunnah contains many authentic
stories. Therefore, you should employ those stories to be a source of
reflection and giving lessons, as stated by Allaah The Almighty when
He Says (what means): } There was certainly in their stories alesson
for those of understanding.} [Quran 12:111]
Be patient:
Be patient when listening to the needs of your child, keeping in mind
that you are talkingto someone with limited mental faculties, so you
should speak to him according to his understanding. Your perfect
example, the Prophet, , tolerated and was patient with 'Aa'ishah while
she was reclining against his back, looking at the display of the
Abyssinians. In this context, she said, "(I continued watching) till
Iwas bored" So you may deduce from this event how a little girl (who
hadnot reached the age of puberty) who is eager to enjoy amusement
should be treated in this respect."
Be a companion:
Dear parent, let each of you be a companion (to his child), so that
you would attract him. No doubt, keeping company has a great impact on
thechild, and makes his heart like a blank page having all that the
mother and father like tobe imprinted on it. However, you are not
theonly companion of the child: there are evil friends who do their
bestto ruin what you build. So, occupy all the time of your child with
your company, and be conscious before your child is stolen from you
while you are heedless. Your company pleases him so much, and
encourages him to relate his affairs to you and divulge his secrets.
So, behis companion, encourage him and praise him a lot. Ibn 'Umar
never left the night prayer after he heard the words of the beloved
Prophet, : "What an excellent man 'Abdullaah is! Were he to pray at
night." [Al-Bukhaari]
Be a watcher:
Dear parent, do not throw the seed (in the land) and then go and leave
it, saying to yourself: I have been cultivating . However, you should
wait for the harvest, otherwise, the blight of evil and corruption
would come after you to eat your cropbefore you pluck its fruits. So,
you should watch over your child in his morals, particularly
truthfulness, for lying is the basis of all vices. When the Messenger
of Allaah, , liked to prevent a man from all kinds of evil, he said:
"Do not lie." Watch over him in his friends and peers. Watch over him
in his physical constitution and seclusion. Be careful, lest there
arise factors that try to ruin what you havebeen building throughout
the years, seeking the help of Allaah The Almighty at all times.

Dought & clear - , Ruling on the Muslims celebrating at the time of Christmas and decorating their homes with balloons

What do you say to Muslims in the United Kingdom who celebrate at
Christmas time by holding dinner parties intheir houses on Christmas
or afterwards, for their Muslim families,such as preparing roast
turkey and the other dishes of the traditional Christmas dinner, and
they adorn their houses with balloons and paper chains, and they do
the "secret Santa" tradition, whereby each relative brings a gift for
one of the people present and these gifts are brought to the party to
be given to the one for whom he bought it, without the recipient
knowing who he is. ["Secret Santa" is anew, growing custom among
non-Muslims who celebrate Christmas,and is in accordance with their
belief in the myth of Santa Claus].
Is this action regarded ashalaal or haraam, if no one is attending
this party except Muslims (relatives and family members)?.
Praise be to Allaah.
There is no doubt that what is mentioned of celebrations is haraam,
because it is an imitationof the kuffaar. It is well known that the
Muslims do not have any festival apart from Eid al-Fitr andEid
al-Adha, and the weekly "Eid" which is Friday (Yawm al-Jumu'ah).
Celebrating any other festival is not allowed and is either of two
things: either it is aninnovation (bid'ah), if it is celebrated as a
means of drawing close to Allah, such as celebratingthe Prophet's
Birthday (Mawlid); or it is an imitation of the kuffaar, if it is
celebrated as a tradition and not as an act of worship, because
introducing innovated festivals is the action of the people of the
Book who we are commandedto differ from. So how about if it is a
celebration of one of their actual festivals?
Decorating the house with balloons at this time is obviously joining
in with the kuffaar and celebrating their festival.
What the Muslim is required to do is not to single out these days for
any kind of celebration, decorating or adornment, or special foods,
otherwise he will be joining the kuffaar intheir festivals, which is
something that is undoubtedly haraam.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Similarly it
is forbidden for the Muslims to imitate the kuffaar by holding parties
on these occasions, or exchanging gifts, or distributing sweets or
other foods, or taking time off work and so on,because the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a
people is one of them." Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book
Iqtida' al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem Mukhaalifat Ashaab al-Jaheem: Imitating
them on some of their festivals implies that oneis happy with the
falsehood they are following, and that could make them (the
non-Muslims) take this opportunity to mislead those who are weak in
faith. End quote.
Those who do any of these things are sinning,whether they do it to go
along with them, or to be friendly towards them, or because they feel
too shy (to refuse to join in) or any other reason, because it is a
kind of compromising the religion of Allah to please others, and it is
a means of lifting the spirits of the kuffaar andmaking them proud of
their religion,
End quote from Fataawa Ibn 'Uthaymeen, 3/44
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked
about a Muslim who makes the food of the Christians on Nawrooz
(Persian New Year) and on all their occasions such as Epiphany and
other feastdays, and who sells themthings to help them celebrate their
festivals. Is it permissible for the Muslims to do any of these things
or not?
He replied: Praise be to Allah. It is not permissible for the Muslims
to imitate them in any way that is unique to their festivals, whether
it be food, clothes, bathing, lightingfires or refraining from usual
work or worship, and so on. And it is not permissible to give a feast
or to exchange gifts or to sell things thathelp them to celebrate
their festivals, or to let children and others play the games that are
played on their festivals, or to adorn oneself or put up decorations.
In general, (Muslims) are not allowed to single outthe festivals of
the kuffaar for any of these rituals or customs. Rather the day of
their festivals is just an ordinary day for the Muslims, and they
shouldnot single it out for any activity that is part of what the
kuffaar do on these days.
End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 2/487; Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 25/329

Dought & clear - , Is it prescribed to offer condolences to a Muslim for loss of his wealth?

There are people who lose their wealth as a result of business, theft
or confiscation. Is it prescribed to offer condolences to them in this
situation?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Offering condolences means advising the person to bear their loss with
patience, with the promise of reward, warning against sin, andpraying
for forgiveness for the deceased and forthe afflicted one to be
compensated for his loss.
End quote from al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 12/287
From the scholarly definition of condolences, it is clear that it is
prescribed to offer condolences to anyone who is stricken by calamity,
whether that is the loss of a relative, wealth or a job, or any other
calamity that may befall a Muslim.Offering condolences, as prescribed
in Islam, is not limited to cases of death.
It says in al-Bayjurami's commentary on Minhaaj at-Tullaab (1/500): It
is also Sunnah to offer condolences on the loss of wealth… And to
offer supplication for him as appropriate. End quote.
In Haashiyat al-Jamal (2/214) it says: It may be said to one who has
lost wealth or anything else that may be replaced: May Allah
compensate you and grant you something similar to that which you have
lost.If his child, father, mother or the like, who cannot be replaced,
has died, then one may say: May Allah comfort you. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: You
said concerning condolences that condolences may be offered in cases
other than death. Is it Sunnah to offer condolences in cases other
than death? How would you describecondolences?
He replied:
Offering condolences means encouraging the one who has suffered a
calamity to bear it with patience and to hope forreward, whether it is
thedeath of a loved one or anything else, such as one who has lost a
greatdeal of his wealth and the like. So you should go to him, console
him and encourage him to be patient so that he willnot flounder in his
grief. End quote from Majmoo'al-Fataawa, 17/384
And Allah knows best.

Islamic Stories - , A new Muslim and his mother

The following is a touching story about a new Muslim and his mother.
Before he was a Muslim, he lived with his mother until he was about 18
years old. Then he moved out of his home and lived in a different
place on his own. During those days, he met some Muslims and became a
very close friend of them. Eventually he himself became a Muslim after
learning about the beautiful religion of Islam from them. He made an
effort every day to learn more and more about Islam. One day, he came
to learn about the benefits of being good to one's parents. He learned
that a person who looks at his parents with the eyesof obedience gets
the reward of one accepted Hajj! (The reward is mentioned in an
authentic hadith of Sahih Muslim). After knowing this, he decided to
visit his mother whom he did not visit for many years. He bought some
flowers and fruits for her on his way. His mother was very pleased to
see him after so long. He started spending lots of time with his
mother on a regular basis. During his visits, he would stare at his
mother and tears would roll down from his eyes. The mother noticed
this happening many times and asked him one day the reason why he
visits her so much all of a sudden andwhy he cries. He told herabout
how he became a Muslim and that the position of a mother in Islam is
very high. He also told her about the reward he gets for looking at
her. But whilelooking at her, he cries because the mother is not a
Muslim and would not be able to save herself if she dies in this
state. The mother immediately recognized the beauty of Islam and
became a Muslim.