She has received a marriage proposal from a young man who suffers from social phobia

I am a young woman, twenty-five years old. I have received a marriage
proposal from a young man who is religiously committed and
respectable, and is one and a half years younger than me, but
hesuffers from social phobia and extreme shyness, to the point that he
told me frankly that he cannot imagine himself with a woman ina closed
room. He told me that he is going to seek treatment and that he will
get better after he has been married for a while. The problem is that
I am very shy and I would like my husband to have a strong character,
especially in sexual relations. I also suffered from waswaas with
regard to purification, but I have been healed from that, praise be to
Allah.
My question is: should I accept this young man? Could our
psychological problems affect our children in the future and cause
them to inherit these mental illnesses?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We praise Allah for your recovery from waswaas, and we ask Him, may He
be glorified, to completeHis blessings and grace to you.
Secondly:
Social phobia is a kind ofpsychological disorder, that has its causes
and ways of treating it; it varies in its degree and intensity.
What this suitor has mentioned about difficulty in being alone with a
woman and so on, all comes under the heading of the symptoms of this
phobia.
Our advice to you is not to go ahead and marry this suitor until he
has recovered from this illness, or it is apparent that he is only
suffering mildly from it. This can be found out by asking his friends
and neighbours, and the people at his mosque. Your guardian should ask
about him and find out about that, and also ask this suitor about the
stages of this illness and his treatment, and he should also check
with the doctor who is in charge of his treatment, if possible.
It is important that his looking to get married be based on his desire
and need, and it should not be in response to pressure from his family
or anyone else.
We ask Allah to decree happiness, guidance andwell-being for you.
And Allah knows best.

There are no angels or other creatures who know everything in the heavens and on earth

My daughter asked me: who is the angel who knows everything in the
heavens and the earth, the number of drops of water, the number of
grains of sand? Is there any such thing?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The one who knows everything in the heavens and on earth, and knows
the number of drops of water and the number of grains of sand, is
Allah, the Lord ofthe Worlds. There is no angel who is close to Him or
any Prophet was sent who knows that. Anyone who says that there is
anyone among the angels who knows all of that has fabricated a lie
against Allah, to Whom belongs knowledge of the unseen of the heavens
and the earth.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And with Him are the keys of the Ghaib (all that is hidden), none
knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in (or on) the earth
and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but he knowsit. There is not a grain
in the darkness of the earth nor anything freshor dry, but is written
in aClear Record"
[al-An'aam 6:59].
And He, may He be glorified, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Say: None in the heavens and the earth knows the Ghaib (unseen)
except Allah, nor can they perceive when they shall be resurrected"
[an-Naml 27:65].
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Here Allah, may He be exalted, is instructing HisMessenger (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) to tell all of mankind that no one
knows the unseen except Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and
that He alone has that knowledge, with nopartner or associate.
End quote from Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 6/207
Al-Bukhaari (4697) narrated from Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with
him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: "The keys of the Unknown are five, whichno one knows except
Allaah: no one knows what will happen tomorrow except Allaah; no one
knows what is in the wombs except Allaah; no one knows when it will
rain except Allaah; no one knows in which land he will die; and no one
knows whenthe Hour will begin except Allaah."
But Allah, may He be exalted, may inform whomever He wills among His
creation about whatever He wills of His unseen. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"(He Alone) the All-Knower of the Ghaib (unseen), and He reveals to
none His Ghaib (unseen).
Except to a Messenger (from mankind) whom He has chosen (He informs
him of unseen as much as He likes), andthen He makes a band ofwatching
guards (angels) to march beforehim and behind him."
[al-Jinn 72:26, 27].
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
Knowledge of unseen matters is something that belongs exclusively to
Allah, so no one among His creation, human or jinn, knows anything of
it except what Allah reveals to whomever He wills among His Angels or
His Messengers.
End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 1/346
Yes, there is one of the angels who is appointedin charge of the rain,
and directs it wherever Allah ills; he is Mikaa'eel (peace be upon
him), who has helpers who dowhatever he instructs them to do. But that
onlyhappens by the will of Allah and in accordance with His wisdom and
knowledge. They do not know anything or do anything; rather they
cannot do anything at allexcept by Allah's leave. Moreover, that does
not mean that they know the number of drops of water, because their
knowledge is restricted to what Allah has taught them, and they say,
as Allah tells us:
"Glory be to You, we have no knowledge except what you have taught us.
Verily, it is You, the All-Knower, the All-Wise"
[al-Baqarah 2:32].

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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The secrets of patience

The meaning of Sabr
In the Arabic language, sabr means 'to hold fast' 'cease,' or 'choke'.
For example, in Bedouin Arabic, to say "one has been killed by sabr,"
means one was choked to death. Allaah the Most High Says (what means):
"And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their
Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance…" [Quran
18: 28]. Sabr in this verse means to 'hold to.'
Thus sabr means to hold one's self from anxiety (jaza') and anger
(tasakhkhut), to hold one'stongue from complaint, and to hold one's
body from disgraceful movements.
It is of three types: Patience in obeying Allaah the Most High
(namely, perseverance), patience in avoiding Allaah's disobedience
(namely, resolve), and patience inAllaah's tests. The first two of
these are related to voluntary acts, over which we as humans have
control. The last pertains to what happens to us (by Allaah's Decree)
wherein we have no choice.
The patience of the Prophet Yousuf
I have heard Ibn Taymiyyah say: [The Prophet] Yousuf's patience in
resisting the temptation of the minister's wifewas higher than his
patience regarding his brothers' throwing him into the well and
separating him from his father, for the latterhappened to him without
his choice. In such cases, a servant ofAllaah has no option but
patience. But his perseverance in avoiding the seduction (of the
minister's wife) involved his choice and pleasure (resulting from his
volitional obedience to Allaah), and struggling against his self. This
is especially true because there were factors complicating the
situation which made it all the harder for him. Not only was he young
and full ofpowerful natural desire, he also was unmarried (thus
lacking an appropriate way of satisfying those native urges). He was
furthermore a stranger in the land with no relatives or friends to be
ashamed before (had he fornicated). Moreover, he was a slave, and in
servitude one's moral restraint (wazi') is not as itis in freedom.
Further, the woman (seeking to seduce him) was beautiful, of high
status, andhis owner, and she tempted him when her husband was out. On
top of all this, she threatened him with imprisonment and humiliation
if he were not to oblige her. Yet despite all these factors, he was
patient out of his own choice, preferring what is with Allaah. How
much better it is compared to his patience in the well, wherein he had
no choice?"
He [&Ibn Taymiyyah&&] also used to say: "Patience through the
performance of righteous acts is better and higher in status than
patience in avoiding sins, for the benefit that comes from the
performance of a righteous deed is dearer to the Lawgiver (Allaah the
Most High) than the benefit that comes from abjuring sin. Likewise,
the ill that arises from the absence of righteous obedience is more
hateful to Allaah the Most High than the ill that arises from the
presence of disobedience."
He has a treatise in this matter in which he has supported this
opinion in 20 different ways, but this is not the occasion to mention
them. Our purpose here is to discuss patience, its reality, its levels
and ranks. Allaah the Most High alone gives success.
Various ranks of patience
Patience is also of three sorts: Patience by Allaah (billaah),
patience for Allaah (lillaah), and patience with Allaah (ma'allaah).
The first, patience by Allaah, consists in seeking Allaah's help and
seeing Allaah as the source of patience. For the patience of a servant
is not in his own power but is his Lord's gift, as He the Most High
Says (what means), "And be patient [O Muhammad], and your patience is
not but through Allaah. And do not grieveover them and do not be in
distress over what they conspire." [Quran 16:127].That is to say, if
Allah does not give you patience, you shall not be patient.
The second, patience for Allaah, means that the motivation of your
patience must he the love ofAllaah, the will to seek His pleasure, and
nearness to Him——not the desire to exhibit your self-control, to seek
the praise of people, or for any other reasons.
The third, patience with Allah, is comprised of the servant's effort
to keep with Allaah's religious decrees and requirements, in terms of
persevering with them, living with them, establishing them, going with
them whereverthey take one, and stopping wherever they stop. One's
patience with Allaah is to attach the "self" (nafs) to the things
Allaah the Most High commands and loves. This is the hardest and most
demanding type of patience. It is the patience of the Siddiqoon (those
of the highest degree of truthfulness and faithfulness.)
The sage Al-Junayd said: "Thejourney from this world to the Hereafter
is easy and light for a believer when compared with renouncing people
(for their rejection of faith) in front of Allaah, which is hard. The
journeyfrom the self to Allaah is harder still.
Yet to be patient with Allaah is the hardest of all. He was asked
about patience. So he said: "It is to swallow bitterness without
frowning."
It has also been said that [patience] is "the endurance of the self in
attacking adversities." And also "withstanding a calamity with a good
attitude [patience] is like enjoying peace and felicity."
The elite [worshippers of Allaah] say: "[Patience] is to stand firm on
the commandments of the Book and the Sunnah."
It has been said that the ranks of sabr are five: Saabir, mustabir,
mutasabbir, saboor, and sabbaar.The first, saabir, is the most
general. Mustabir is of the one who has earned patience and is filled
with it. Mutasabbir is of onewho forces one's "self" to it [against
all odds]. Saboor is of one whose patience is great in comparison to
others. And, finally, sabbaar, is of one who hasa great amount of
patience— greater than any of the [people meant by these four] earlier
[descriptions].
Regarding the words of Allaah, the Most High (which mean): "O you who
have believed, persevereand endure and remain stationedand fear Allaah
that you may be successful." [Quran 3:200] —it hasbeen said that this
verse proceeds from the easier [and lesser] command to the harder and
nobler. This means that sabr is less than musaabara, and musaabara is
less than muraabatah.
The word 'muraabatah' comes from rabt which means a tie or hold.
Someone is called al-muraabit because he ties his horse and waits for
the enemy's assault. Hence, this term has been used for anyone who
ties and holds his "self" in discipline and waits for Allaah's
commandments.
The Prophet Muhammad has said: "Shall I not inform you of that by
which Allaah erases sins and raises ranks? Perfecting ablution
(wudhou'), even when itis difficult, walking frequently to the
mosques, and waiting for a prayer after another [has finished]: That
is ribaat! That is ribaat!" (Muslim, Maalik, At-Tirmithi) He also
said: "Waiting patiently for a single day in the path of Allaah is
better than this world and all that is in it." (Al-Bukhaari, Ahmad)
Source: Translation from Madaarij- as-Saalikeen by Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim

Remembering Often the Ender of Pleasures

You're sitting comfortably on the sofa watching your favorite
television show with your favorite person. Your laughter abruptly
stops and you're spellbound as your eyes hold an image you've never
seen before. And before you can say anything, your eyes are forever
closed as your soul is torn away from your body.
Are you ready to meet your Lord?
The angel of death can come knocking on your door as an uninvited
guest at any time and without a moment's notice.
You can't turn off the lights and pretend not to be home, for evenif
you do, he'll find a way in.
You'll be hauled back to the One who Created you, ready or not.
Whether you're an ambitious youth with dreams and hopes about the
future, or a wise elder with fond memories of the past, death is
inevitable and its arrival is unknown to you.
So it only makes sense that every breath of ours should be spent inthe
worship of the One who has granted these breaths because none of us
know which breath will be our last.
You may ask, how can I constantly be in a state of worship? Simple
answer, though difficult to follow at times: Live life in accordance
with the Quran and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad .
It's all about the intentions, and the sincerity of those intentions.
The Prophet has said: "Deeds result only from the intentions ofthe
actor. And an individual is rewarded only according to that which he
intends." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Take the simple act of eating for example.
If done with the intention of nourishing our bodies in order toworship
our Lord, it becomes an act of worship itself. Imagine that, something
as enjoyable as eating can gather up good deeds for you.
Of course you would want to keep the eating in check though! Take a
sip of water with the name of Allaah while sitting, in small amounts,
and then thank Him Almighty after, and the number of good deeds keeps
adding up.
Just the same, the routines of ourdaily grind can all become acts of
worship when we do them to refine our intentions and by emulating the
example of our beloved Prophet .
When working to constantly be conscious of Allaah, The Most High,
having that Taqwa (piety) and simply being aware that He The Most High
is watching over us at every moment will help us keep ourselves from
doing anything that would bring the displeasure of Allaah Almighty.
Knowing that death can come to us at the precise moment you decided to
look just once more atthe sister across the room will help us keep our
gaze lowered.
Remembering death does something else too. It forces us to realize the
reality of this world. It too will come to an end one day.
Life in this world is temporary and merely a means for us to fulfill
the reason why we were created in the first place: To worship the One
true God, Allaah alone. Realizing this truth, enables us to live as a
traveler as the Prophet taught us.
And if we were to die unexpectedly, what about those kids from high
school that you once fought with over somethingyou can't even remember
now and severed ties with them? Or that cousin that you haven't talked
to in ages because they didn't come to your wedding!
The Prophet Muhammad has said: "When the believers cross [the traverse
over] Hellfire, they will be stopped at a small arched bridge,
Qantarah, before enteringthe Garden, and will be given retribution for
injustices betweenthem until they become purified. Then they will be
permitted to enter Jannah or Paradise. So, by the One in Whose Hands
is my soul, they will know their way to their homes in Jannah, better
than they know their ways to their homes in this world." [Al-Bukhaari]
Thus, Al-Qantarah is a small bridge after the Siraat (the Traverse)
that the believers will have to cross before entering Jannah
(Paradise). Allaah, the All-Mighty, will ask the believers to settle
their issues here, right in front of the gates of the Paradise. And
your good deeds will continue to go to the person you've wronged till
they forgive you, and if you run out of good deeds, their bad deeds
will go over to you.
Now, is that fight really worth it?
My dearest readers; do yourself a favor today. Save yourself while
you're still a traveler in this worldand reconcile with the folks you
know you need to.
Send your apologies. Free yourself of this burden and save yourself
before it's too late.
Let us all prepare to meet our Lord, before the Angel of Death comes to meet us.