HADEES - ~ Let go of anger and replace it with forgiveness

A man said to the Messenger of Allah, (sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam–
peace be upon him): "Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become
angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the
Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."
[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137]
Resolve to give up anger, even if only for today. Whatever anger you
are harboring against others, let it go. Whatever anger you have
against yourself for mistakes you have made, or for wrongs you have
done, let it go. It's nothelping you, it is only damaging your own
spirit.
Remember that we are human; we are all imperfect. From the very
beginning, starting with Adam and Hawaa (Adam and Eve) we humans made
mistakes.
Other people have made mistakes and harmed you in the past because
they are human; forgive them. You have made mistakes because you are
human; forgive yourself, and turn to Allah in tawbah (repentance).
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has taught us some strategies for dealing
with anger. For example, he said:
"I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he
does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan' then
all his anger will go away." [Al-Bukhari; Vol. 4, No. 502]
And he said,
"Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire
is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he
should perform ablution." [Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4766]
Abu Dharr narrated: The Apostle of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam,
said to us: "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should
sit down. If the anger leaveshim, well and good; otherwise he should
lie down." [Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4764]
In another hadith, the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"If one of you becomes angry then he should be silent."
Narrated 'Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakra: Abu Bakr wrote to his son who
was in Sijistan: Do not judge between two persons when you are angry,
for I heard the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam,saying: "A judge
should not judge between two persons while he is in an angry mood."
[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 9, No. 272]
So the Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam , has given us
several strategies to deal with anger:
1. Seek refuge with Allah from Shaytan. This reminds us that fury and
rage are not good things;they are evil forces that we need to get rid
of before they take us over. Seeking refuge with Allahreminds us that
Allah is near, watching us; also it reminds us to turn the matter over
to Allah, so that we can let go of our anger.
2. Perform wudu' (ritual washing for purity). SubhanAllah, what a
beautiful thing. The wudu' is a source of blessings and barakah forus.
It also has a powerful symbolic value, washing away our anger and
making us peaceful and pure.
3. Sit down, or even lie down. Modern science has learned that the
bodyinfluences the emotions as well as the other way around. So
assuming a peaceful posture leads to peaceful emotions. Sitting down
or lying down are non-threatening positions. This helps to defuse any
conflict beforeit escalates.
4. Stay silent. This is very important. All too often spouses or
family members say things to each other in anger, and later they
deeply regret their words. By then it's too late: the words have been
uttered and the damage is done. When you are most angry is precisely
the time to remain silent. Seek refugewith Allah, make wudu, pray, go
for a walk, go to the masjid… allow yourself time to calm down and
reflect.
5. Do not judge between people (in other words make important
decisions). Obviously making important decisions out of anger is a
formula for disaster.
These are all wonderful points for dealing with anger in the moment.
However, in todays "Islamic Sunray" I am also speaking about past
anger.We all have old emotional wounds that we carry around like
scars. We have old resentments and hurts.
If you hold on to these hurts, they will destroy your marriage, or at
least make it an unhappy, chafing relationship. Holding on to
resentments and grudges will destroy your friendships, leaving you
isolated. These persistent negative emotions will eat into yourown
soul, leaving you bitter and unhappy.
Let them go. Modern medicine tells us that carrying around these old
resentments and anger is bad for the health.

From a state of darkness to one of light

I changed from worrying to praying; from complaining to problem
solving; from boredom to having good clean fun; from a state of
darkness to one of light; from selfish love to love of self and
others; from independence to interdependence; from winning or losing
to learning, and growing; from telling to asking; frombeing aggressive
to being assertive; from being reactive to being proactive!

Be true, and be you

Listen to the quiet voice inside yourself. The persistent voice that
tells you that there's somethingmore to life, that calls you to do
something meaningful, to experience the world in a profound way. So
many of us dismissthat voice and suppress it. We are told that our
dreams are not realistic or practical. We are told that we should
settle for what is reliable, and will pay the bills, and garner us the
respect of our peers.
But if we do not listen to that quiet voice, then who will? There is
no external advocate who can read theyearnings of your heart and speak
up on your soul's behalf. You must be the champion of your own soul.
On the authority of Abu Malik Al-Harith bin Asim Al-Ashari said that
the messenger of Allah said:
"Purity is half of faith. alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fills
the scales, and subhana-Allah [How far is Allah from every
imperfection] and alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fill that which
is between heaven and earth. Prayer is light; charity is a proof;
patience is illumination; and the Quran is an argument for or against
you. Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of hissoul, either
freeing it or bringing about its ruin."
(Related by Muslim).
You are the vendor of your soul: either freeing it or bringing about
its ruin. Youfree it by worshiping Allah in love, gratitude and fear;
keeping the praises of Allahon your tongue and in yourheart; praying
and fasting and living righteously (as opposed to self-righteously);
by showing love and concern for other human beings; and by being true
to yourself.
Allah created you with a unique nature. Do you think it's only your
fingerprints that are unique? Or your retinal scan, palm print, voice
printand DNA? Do you believe that your uniqueness is encapsulated by
measurable biometrical data? No, your uniqueness extends to your own
wonderful thought patterns, your special heart, and your soul. You are
you, not anyone else.
You are not an assembly-line robot, or a machine put here to consume,
produce and expire. You are different from everyone else in the world
because you are you. Respect that, and don't try to force yourself
into an uncomfortable or even impossible mold that someone else has
dictated for you. Be true, be you , and free your soul.
I'm not talking about sinfuldesires. I am speaking of the quiet and
inspired urgings of your heart. Maybe you dream of working in disaster
relief, helping all those poor soulswho suffered after the Indian
Ocean tsunami, or from the earthquake in Haiti. Maybe you have an
inner artist and you'd like to pursue that passionatelyand see where
it takes you.Maybe you love children and would like to teach; maybe
you are not satisfied with current school curricula and you have an
idea of starting your own school. Maybe you've always fantasized about
being a karate black belt, or helping poor villages in Africa become
self-sustaining, or campaigning for human rights.
Maybe you're single and you have feelings for a certain person, or
just an undercurrent of admirationand respect, but you fear rejection
if you come forward with a marriage proposal; or maybe the person
comes from a different cultural background and you worrythat your
family or your peers would not approve.
I could go on, but you get the point. The fact that each of us is
utterly unique is a blessing, because each of us brings a new
imagination to solving the world's problems, and eachof us beautifies
the world in a new way. Each of us has something important to teach.
Each of us has a different voice, not so that we can win "American
Idol", but so that we add tothe universal chorus that praises Allah.
Don't fear your dreams: cherish them, nurture them, and do your best
to live them. Let's face it, life is short; it passes so quickly, much
sooner than we expect, and when we get to the end of the road we will
regret only that wesuppressed our hearts, and shoved them down into
silence, and failed to live up to our potential as believers and as
unique individuals, with our own God-given gifts.
Sister Sara, author of the Sweet Serenity blog, pointed out, "Often
while in search for who we truly are, we are dictated by the world
around us, and thereby lose ourselves. Thewords of the Qur'an and
example of the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alayhi wasallam) should be our
guides and inspiration, reaffirming that we need to patiently
persevere, following the calling in our hearts and Insha'Allah, we
will be able to make our dreams a reality."
One person pointed out that following his dreams is impractical for
him due to his family obligations. That is a valid objection. We have
realities of family to deal with, and that oftenrequires compromise.
Our duties to our family are a part of our deen.

Allah knows every fallen leaf, and He knows you

"With Him are the keys ofthe unseen, the treasuresthat none knows but
He. He knows whatever thereis on the earth and in thesea. Not a leaf
falls but with His knowledge: there is not a grain in thedarkness (or
depths) of the earth, nor anything fresh or dry (green or withered),
but is (inscribed) in a record clear (to those who can read)." – Quran
6:59
SubhanAllah, Glory to God. Imagine, brothers and sisters. Allah knows
every fallen leaf in your yard, in the gutter, drifting on the wind,
or compacted layers deep in the depths of the darkest forest.
To us fallen leaves may be trash to be swept away, or food for worms,
or mulching material. Perhapsto a child they are a source of amusement
by scoopingthem into a pile and jumping in (I used to do that while
waiting for the kindergarten bus in autumn, when I was growing up in
Davis, California).
But Allah knows every leaf:its history, its individual veins and
ragged edges, even its microscopic cells.
Don't you think then that Allah knows your own pain, and fear, and suffering?
"And indeed We have created man, and We know whatever thoughtshis
inner self develops, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular
vein." (Quran 50:16). This does not mean that Allah is physically
closer than your jugular vein; rather it refersto His knowledge,
understanding, and power. And it could refer to the angels appointed
to you, who sit on your right and left, noting everything you say and
do.