Friendship tips

Hold true friend with bothur hands. Dont let go as true friend comes
once in a lifetime.That's why Im holding you tight! Cant let U go.
@
A true friend sees the first tear... catches the second... and stops the third.
@
A deep friend is like rainbow, when the perfectamount of happiness and
tears r mixed, the result is a colorful bridge between 2 hearts
@
Age appears to be best in some things. Old wood best to burn. Old
books best to read. Old rice best to eat and old friends best to
keep..
@
Think positive? Look and d world as 1 huge chocolate cake. It would nt
b complete wthout a few sweets & nuts. Sweets like me & nuts like U!

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STORY - ~ Tell the Truth Without Harm

There should be no exceptions to honesty, but telling the truth is not
a compulsion to harm yourself, nor a justification for harming others.
For example, no Muslim should openly manifest his immoral actions or
past. It was narrated that Saalim ibn 'Abd-Allah said: I heard Abu
Hurayrah say: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) say:
"All of my Ummah will be fine except for those whocommit sins openly.
Part of committing sins openly is when a man does something at night
and Allah conceals it, but in the morning he says, 'O So-and-so, last
night I did such and such.' His Lord had covered his sin all night,
but in the morning he removed the cover of Allah." (Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, 5721; Muslim, 2990)
In my capacity as an editor of IslamcAnswers.com, I have often been
anonymously asked some version of this question: "I lived a sinful
lifestyle at one point, including committing zinaa, but I have
repented. Now I am engaged to be married andmy fiancé wants to know
about my past. What should I say? If I tell him/her everything, he may
break off the engagement, but if I lie then I'll be building a future
on a foundation of dishonesty."
My response is that one should give a reply along these lines: "My
past is between me and Allah. For whatever sins I have committed, I
have asked Allah's forgiveness and continue to do so. I will notsay
more. Please judge me according to the person I am now, just as I will
do with you."
If that response is not satisfactory to the other person and he
continues topry, I guarantee you he is not good husband (or
wife)material for you. If you don't tell him everything, he will
continue to harangue you endlessly. And if you do, he will be jealous
and probably neverforgive you. No one needs that kind of judgment in
life.
Of course if something material has resulted from past mistakes – for
example if one has a child from a past relationship, orhas acquired an
STD – then that must be revealed, as these are things that will affect
a spouse in a continuing way.
Truth Builds Rock-Solid Friendships
As far as harming others, Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased
with him) reported: I asked the Messenger of Allah (pbuh): "Who is the
most excellent among the Muslims?" He said, "One from whose tongue and
hands the other Muslims are secure." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
If you see your brother making a serious mistake, correct him in the
kindest possible way. That is a form of honesty. If you have nothing
good to say, stay silent. That too is is an aspect of truth telling.
No matter what, do not be needlessly hurtful.
Telling the truth in this way creates strong and healthy friendships,
because it builds trust. Realfriends don't just tell you what you want
to hear. They don't say, "Oh yeah, you're great, that's wonderful,"
when inside they're thinking, "What a crazy thing to do," or, "What is
he up to now?"
But they're not cruel or harsh either. They tell you the truth kindly.
If they think you're doing something harmful, they tell you with
compassion. When you have a friend like that, you know you can trust
every word out ofhis/her mouth, so when your friend compliments
orsupports you it means something and lifts your spirit, because you
know it's from the heart.
Real friends are not saccharine-sweet liars, nor are they relentlessly
negative. They see the good in you, they appreciate you and let you
know it, but when you need some honest advice they are there with the
right words.
And I'll tell you something: most people respect truth-tellers, even
if they don't agree with what's being said.
The other key component is that real friends are discreet. Many years
ago I had two good friends – I'll call them Ali and Mo (not their real
names) – who were given scholarships to study at the Islamic
University of Madinah. Theyleft together. After some time I heard a
rumor that Mo had gotten in some trouble in Saudi Arabia andhad been
arrested and jailed. I did not know the details. When Ali returned to
California for summer break, I asked him, "What happened to Mo? Tell
me the whole story." To my great frustration, Ali would not reveal a
single detail. All he said was, "The Saudi authorities are planning to
deport Mo; when he returns you can ask him yourself." Mo was my friend
too, I was concernedabout him. Plus, I admit that it was such a juicy
piece of gossip that I could not resist. But Ali would not budge, even
though I was several years older than him and had been likea brother
to him for years.

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Tell the truth and watch your relationships shine

"O you who believe! be careful of (your duty to) Allah and be with the
true ones." – Quran 9:119
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,
"You must be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness and
righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will keep speaking the truth
and striving to speak the truth until he will be recorded with Allah
as a Siddeeq (speaker of the truth). Beware of telling lies, for lying
leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hellfire. A man will keep
telling lies and striving to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah
as a liar." (Muslim)
Ali Ibn Abi Talib (ra) said: "The truth teller achieves three things:
trust, love, and respect."
You know the expression, "The truth shall set you free?" It might be
amended to say, "Telling the truth shall set you free."
Being honest is liberating. It might be difficult or emotionally
uncomfortableat times, but it's so much more freeing to the spirit
than lying, or living a lie. We don't have to remember what lies we
told to whom, or whether someone will uncover something from our
pasts. We don't have to feel like hypocrites for speaking words we
don't really mean.
The Body Tells the Truth
Did you know that a liar is betrayed by his own body?We all know about
the obvious signs that are monitored by lie detectors, such as
increased body temperature (manifested visually as sweating), and
raised blood pressure. But there are many other signs that are
detectable visually.If you live in the USA you may have seen the
television drama "Lie to Me", about a scientist who acts as a human
lie detector by studying body language and facial "micro-expressions".
This is based on real science.
For example, when people are lying, they generally avoid eye contact.
Frequently, liars will gaze downward and to the right. Another sign is
that liars often fidget, moving hands or feet, drumming fingers, or
adjusting clothing. Also, liars may subconsciously try to "hide" the
lie by covering their mouths, or making a motion that is symbolic of
covering the face, such as touching the nose or an eye. These are all
attempts to cover up the lie, and are a subconscious expression of
shame. Lastly, the liar may fold his arms or cross his legs, which are
defensive gestures, as if he is trying to cover himself up.
SubhanAllah. Even when a person's mind is willing to lie, the body is
not. It's as ifa part of him is adhering to fitra , the pure nature of
every human being, and is unwilling to go along with the sin.
After all, the body is alwaysin a state of submission to Allah. The
heart beats as Allah made it to do, the blood flows, the nerves fire,
the cells generate energy, carry oxygen or process waste, white
bloodcells attack invaders… all these autonomous processes go on
without conscious thought, obeyingthe imperatives given to them by
Allah. This is an expression of Islam at the most basic level. So even
when a person's tongue may commit a sin by lying, on a deeper level
the body is still in submission.
In fact, everything in existence submits to Allah and praises Him, and
functions as a sign of His power. Allah says,
"Do you not see that Allah is exalted by whomever is within the
heavens and the earth and [by] the birds with wings spread [in
flight]? Each has known his [means of] prayer and exalting [Him], and
Allah is Knowing of what they do.
And to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and to
Allah is the destination.
Do you not see that Allah drives clouds? Then He brings them together,
then He makes them intoa mass, and you see the rain emerge from within
it. And He sends down from the sky, mountains [of clouds] within which
is hail, and He strikes with it whom He wills and averts it from whom
He wills. The flash of its lightening almost takes away the eyesight.
Allah alternates the nightand the day. Indeed in that is a lesson for
those who have vision.
Allah has created every [living] creature from water. And of them are
those that move on their bellies, and of them are those that walk on
two legs, and of them are those that walk on four. Allah creates what
He wills. Indeed, Allah is over all things competent." ( Quran 24:
41-45)
All of the things described in these verses exist in submission to
Allah. Only we, children of Adam (and the jinn), have been given the
ability to disobey. When we rebel – and that includes lying – we come
into conflict with Allah, with society, with all other living
creatures, with the weather that surrounds us, and even with the night
and day!

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ADVISE :- ~ Tell Our Children the Truth

If we lie to our children and pretend that we are perfect and that
life is always wonderful, we do them a disservice. Young children are
idealistic by nature, inclined to believe that all people are good,
that adults have the answers, and that their parents are the best and
strongest people in the world. They believe that the adults are
managing the world properly as they should.
As they grow older they begin to see through our pretenses. They see
that our words don't match our deeds, and that adult society is
running the world into the ground, ravaging the natural environment,
making war, and destroying their futures in the process. So our
children become deeply disappointed. This disappointment leads to
cynicism and bitterness. That's when we lose them to alcohol or drugs,
gangsterism or bizarre countercultures.
That's when, in Western society, children begin getting tattoos and
piercings, wearing black clothing and chains, getting drunk and having
casual sex, listening to screaming metal music, and generally saying
to adult society, "I see through your lies, and I want nothing to do
with you. Since there's nothing to believe in, I won't even try."
Some parents strive to maintain the facade because they have no
truthto offer. They are caught up in a meaningless consumerist
lifestyle. Or they may see the hypocrisyof adult society but have no
alternative to offer.
We do! We have Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'alaa. We have the Qur'an, the
Prophets, and the tremendous life lesson of the Messenger of Allah
(pbuh). We have the amazing lives of the Sahabah, and all the heroesof
Muslim history. We have the shahadah, salat, zakat, sawm, and Hajj. We
have something real, a genuine alternative to corruption and malaise,
but first we must be on the path. We must be dedicated. We don't have
to be perfect but we must be sincere.
So let's do that, and then let's tell our children the truth.
Let's tell them, "I'm not perfect and neither is any other human
being, but I'mworking on it Insha'Allah, and I love you, and that's
what counts. Yes, there is evil and hypocrisy in the world. Yes, adult
society is largely superficial and selfish. But each of us has the
ability to change the world. Each of us is powerful. Go out there and
be a force for change in theworld. Imagine the world as it should be,
then work to bring it about. Be sincere, be strong, keep Allah in your
awareness, and do what you can. If you do that, then you
havesucceeded. No matter what, I will always love you and be proud of
you."

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