Women site, - Umm Salamah- II

Her widowhood and marriage to the Prophet,sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.
In the third year of Hijrah )Migration of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, from Makkah to Madeenah(, Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, fought in the Battle of Uhud. In that historic and crucial battle, his arm was wounded by a poisoned arrow shot by the enemy. He, may Allaah be pleased with him, later recovered after treatment, but could survive only for a few months. His wound relapsed and ultimately he, may Allaah be pleased with him, died.
Umm Salamah. may Allaah be pleased with her, was immensely grief-stricken at the demise of her loving husband. When the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, heard about this, he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, went to offer condolences to her may Allaah be pleased with her and asked her to have patience and bear the calamity with fortitude.
According to one narration, when the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, paid a condolence visit to Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, after the death of her husband, he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, asked her to pray Allaah to grant Abu Salamah the lofty rank of the righteous and grant her a better husband than him.
At this, Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, wondered who could be a better husband for her than Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him. Seeing the forlorn state of Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, after shewaswidowed, Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, sent her a proposal for marriage, which Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, declined.
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was greatly impressed with the courage, which Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, displayed in facing the misfortunes and adversities of life. He, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was also highly moved for her tragic situation and sent the proposal for marriage to her through 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him. Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, consented, and in Shawwal, the 4th year of Hijrah, her marriage to the Noble Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, took place.
A Historical example of her wisdom
In the 6th Hijrah year, the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, accompanied by his 1,400 companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, decided to perform 'Umrah )minor Pilgrimage(. When Quraysh learned about this, they decided to stop the Muslims from performing the pilgrimage; but when the Muslims decided to fight them they feared and signed a treaty with the Muslims, which consisted of several terms and conditions which appeared to be unfair for the Muslims as it prevented them from performing 'Umrah that year.
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, accepted these conditions in adherence to the Divine Command instructing him, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, to do so. Then the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, ordered the Muslims to slaughter animals in sacrifice )indicating the end of the 'Umrah rites(. But the Muslims hesitated in offering the sacrifice, which grieved the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.
Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, who was with the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, on this journey, heard this and suggested to the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, to offer the sacrifice, shave his head and take off the Ihraam. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, did so acting on her advice. When the companions, may Allaah be pleased with, them saw that the Prophet's command was irrevocable, they at once sacrificed their animals and shaved their heads.
Her character:
Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, led a very simple and austere life. She may Allaah be pleased with her was a devout worshiper. Every month, she may Allaah be pleased with her fasted for three days )other than the fasting of Ramadan(. Once, she may Allaah be pleased with her wore a necklace, which had a little amount of gold in it. The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam did not like her wearing even this little amount of gold. So Umm, Salamah may Allaah be pleased with her, immediately took it out.
Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was very generous. She may Allaah be pleased with her implored others also to give away in the cause of Allaah. Whatever she, may Allaah be pleased with her, had, she, may Allaah be pleased with her, would readily give away to a beggar or a needy person.
Once, a few destitute people came to her begging for charity importunately. Umm Salamah may Allaah be pleased with her ordered her maid not to send them back empty-handed, and if there was nothing in the houses, she should give them just a few dates.
Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, has narrated 378 Hadeeths of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam. In moral excellence and nobility of conduct, she ranks, among the Prophet's wives, next only to 'Aa'ishah may Allaah be pleased with her. She may Allaah be pleased with her was an excellent reciter of the Quran, and her style was much similar to the Prophet's.
She may Allaah be pleased with her was endowed with exceptionally beautiful countenance, deep knowledge, intelligence and sound judgment.
Her death:
After a life filled with faith and righteous deeds, the Mother of the Believers, Umm Salamah may Allaah be pleased with her died in the year 61 A.H., aged 84 and the venerable Companion, Abu Hurayrah may Allaah be pleased with him led the people in her funeral prayer, after which she may Allaah be pleased with her was buried in Al-Baqee' Cemetery in Madeenah.

Women site, - Umm Salamah- I

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Her real name was Hind; while her title was Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her. She may Allaah be pleased with her came from the family of Makhzoom, which belongs to the Quraysh tribe. Her father’s name was Abu Mugheerah Ibn 'Abdullaah Ibn 'Umar Ibn Makhzoom and her mother was 'Aatikah Bint 'Aamir who belonged to the family of Faraas.
Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was first married to her cousin Abu Salamah Ibn 'Abdul-Asad. He was a young man with exceptionally good nature and unblemished conduct. It was improbable for this young man of exceptionally lofty morals to remain unmoved by the noble and life-giving message of the Noble Prophet, Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.
Defying his tribesmen, Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, embraced the new faith and entered the fold of Islam. Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, followed suit.
Thus, the couple joined the rank of those noble souls, who had won the unique distinction of embracing the new faith in its early phase.
These noble souls suffered all kinds of hardships and harassment in the cause of Islam, but they did not budge even an inch from the right path. As the number of the people who had embraced the new life-giving faith increased, the persecution and torture meted out to them also increased in intensity.
When this persecution reached intolerable levels, the Noble Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, gave permission to his followers to migrate to Abyssinia, which was ruled at that time by a kind-hearted king, in order to protect their lives and preserve their religion. According to an authentic narration, Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, and Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, who has already entered the fold of Islam, also migrated to Abyssinia. They may Allaah be pleased with them came back to Makkah after spending some time in exile. From Makkah, they, may Allaah be pleased with them, left for Madeenah on their second migration. Those days, Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him had only one camel with him. He they may Allaah be pleased with him, seated Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, and his young son, Salamah, at the saddle. Holding the reins of his camel, he may Allaah be pleased with him started his long journey on foot.
When her family came to know about the couple’s planned destination, they intercepted the camel and told Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he could proceed, but they would not allow their daughter )Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her(. They took away the reins of the camel from Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, and forced Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, to dismount. In the meantime, Banu 'Abdul-Asad, the members of Abu Salamah’s clan, appeared on the scene and snatched Umm Salamah’s child from his mother and threatened Banu Mugheerah that if they did not allow their daughter to accompany her husband, they would also not allow the child to accompany his mother. As for Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, they said that he was free to go anywhere liked.
By this time, the Noble Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, had given permission to his Companions may Allaah be pleased with them to migrate to Madeenah, where they could live in peace and safety from the torture of Quraysh. Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, left for Madeenah, leaving his wife and child behind. Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was staying with Banu Mugheerah while her child was in the custody of Banu 'Abdul-Asad. Thus, the three of them – the father, the mother and the child – were undergoing the pain of living separately.
Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was grief-stricken due the separation from her child and husband. Everyday she may Allaah be pleased with her would go and sit forlorn on a hillock, crying and longing to join her husband and son. A whole one year passed like this.
One day, a kind-hearted and influential man from the clan of Banu Mugheerah saw her pathetic condition and was moved by her agony. He called out the people of his tribe and said: “This woman is our own flesh and blood, how long will we keep her away from her husband and child? By Allaah! Our tribe is very brave and honorable; we can’t tolerate persecution of innocent people.”
Hearing this, her tribesmen gave permission to Umm Salamah they may Allaah be pleased with her to join her husband in Madeenah. When Banu 'Abdul-Asad heard of this, they also took pity and sent her child, Salamah, to her. She may Allaah be pleased with her took the child and a camel to ride alone to Madeenah. At At-Tan'eem )in the outskirts of Makkah(, she met 'Uthmaan Ibn Talhah Ibn Abu Talhah may Allaah be pleased with him, a chivalrous and decent man of Makkah. When he saw Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, traveling alone with a small baby, he thought: “How unbecoming of me, if I did not escort this lonely woman traveler of Quraysh to Madeenah!”
He, may Allaah be pleased with him, took the reins of Umm Salamah’s camel and started for Madeenah. Whenever they stopped on the way, 'Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, would withdraw to rest under the shade of a tree. When they reached Qubaa', where Abu Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, was staying, 'Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, returned to Makkah and Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, rejoined her husband, who thanked Allaah for once again reuniting his family.
Umm Salmah, may Allaah be pleased with her, always remained grateful to 'Uthmaan ,may Allaah be pleased with him, for his thoughtful and kind gesture. She, may Allaah be pleased with her, used to say: “I have never seen a more gallant and compassionate man than 'Uthmaan Ibn Talhah.”

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Women site, - The Wife of Two Martyrs: Umm Hakeem

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On the day of the Battle of Uhud, she was fighting against Islam and Muslims; and on the day of the Battle of Yarmook, she was fighting against disbelief and disbelievers. Umm Hakeem, may Allaah be pleased with her, embraced Islam on the day of the Conquest of Makkah, but her husband, ‘Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl, did not; he fled Makkah to Yemen after he heard that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had made his death lawful.
Umm Hakeem, may Allaah be pleased with her, went early in the morning to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and asked him to grant amnesty to her husband, and, sympathizing with her, he permitted her to catch up with him and give him the glad tidings of pardon. She set out in his pursuit and caught up with him at the coast of Tihaamah when he was about to sail to Yemen.
She shed tears and said to him,
"O son of my paternal uncle! I have come )with good news( from the best of the people, and the keenest to maintain good relations with people. Do not ruin yourself after I have sought safety from the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, for you, and he granted you safety." He said, "Have you really done so?" She said, "Yes, I talked to him about you and he granted you safety."
'Ikrimah, may Allaah be pleased with him, returned with her and they went to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and when they reached the gate of the mosque, she quickened her pace and entered and sought permission from the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and when he admitted them, ‘Ikrimah, may Allaah be pleased with him, proceeded and gave the pledge of allegiance to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, for Islam and Jihaad )struggle(.
She is Umm Hakeem bint Al-Haarith, may Allaah be pleased with her, a woman who showed incomparable loyalty to her husband. She was keen on his best interests. She fully understood her husband’s character and used her good offices with the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to seek safety for him, and the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, granted him safety.
In this way, she caused her husband to embrace Islam and be steadfast in his faith and fight in the way of Allaah The Almighty until he was endowed with martyrdom in the Battle of Ajnaadeen.
After him, Umm Hakeem, may Allaah be pleased with her, married the glorious Companion, Khaalid ibn Sa‘eed ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allaah be pleased with him. Before he consummated his marriage with her, the caller for Jihaad made a public announcement to the Muslims to prepare to fight the Romans. But, Khaalid, may Allaah be pleased with him, foresaw that he would be killed in the battle on the coming day; and the believer's foresight could hardly err, for he sees with the light of Allaah The Almighty.
He expressed to her his wish to consummate their marriage, and she said to him, "Will you not postpone it until those )the Romans( gathering are defeated?" He said, "I think I will be killed ]in battle[." She said, "Then, you may do so." He then consummated marriage with her near the bridge later known as the Bridge of Umm Hakeem, and in the morning, a wedding banquet was prepared for them. They had barely started their food before the Romans attacked, and fighting broke out and Khaalid, may Allaah be pleased with him, was killed in the battle before her eyes.
On seeing her husband dead, Umm Hakeem, may Allaah be pleased with her, put on her garment and proceeded to fight in support of the cause of Allaah The Almighty and to avenge the deaths of her husbands, ‘Ikrimah and Khaalid, may Allaah be pleased with them, and all the Muslims who were killed. She was able to kill seven Romans, with the pillar of the tent in which Khaalid, may Allaah be pleased with him, consummated their marriage. Even after that, she continued her struggle in serving Islam and deserves to have her life recorded in history books with letters of light. May Allaah be pleased with her, and please her.

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Women site, - When a Monitor and Mouse Steal Your Child Away…

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It was a happy family.
The mother was content, the father reassured, and the child used to play with his parents, sometimes with building blocks, and at other times with the ball. The family had frequent outings… to the club, to visit his paternal or maternal cousins, the funfair, the beach, and so on. Both parents gave special care to provide suitable entertainment for the child, since recreation rejuvenates and refreshes one's life. This was also practiced by the Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his honorable Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them. The Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to race ‘Aa'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, play with Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn, may Allaah be pleased with them, who were still very young, and address them saying:"How excellent your camel is, and what an excellent load you are!"
Suddenly, this happy home was intruded upon by a dreadful device: the computer. The young child heard about it and saw it in the house of one of his friends. He pleaded with his parents until they agreed, gladly, and out of their love for the child, to buy the new device. At first, the parents thought it was just like any other device, as the child would use it for an hour or two then continue his normal life, sit with his parents, play with his friends, and do assignments for his school. However, the reality was far beyond the expectations of the naive parents.
They soon discover that the child’s life revolves around the computer: it is the first thing he uses when he wakes up, and the last thing he uses before he sleeps. The computer becomes the source of his sorrows and joy. In brief, this device, the computer, is his main concern and attracts all his attention. His relationship with his parents weakens: he no longer greets them as he used to do. On the contrary, this device causes him to be undutiful to them. The computer makes him decide who are his "enemies" – if anyone wants to take away his computer, the child would surely raise the weapon of anger, displeasure, annoyance and obstinacy.
The device takes most of the child's time: he no longer goes to his cousins as he used to do unless they have a computer, because of which disputes and quarrels might break out between him and them. His relationship with his friends has weakened, and he no longer distinguishes his enemies from his friends. He is confused about all basic standards and concepts about life, thinking to himself,"The computer is my only friend."
Dear caregiver,
Our religion of Islam is the religion of temperance and moderation, in which there is no extremism or deviation from the Prophetic guidance of Muhammad,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And thus We have made you a just community.{]Quran 2:143[
Dear caregiver, by no means can we deny the importance of this device, and its necessity for the modern Muslim who likes to keep pace with the world around him. This is praiseworthy if it stems from the desire to appear as a strong Muslim, in order to complete the ideal image in which every Muslim person should appear -- I mean the image indicated by the daughter of the righteous Prophet, Shu‘ayb, may Allaah exalt his mention, in her saying as the Quran tells us )that means(:}"O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is the strong and the trustworthy."{]Quran 28:26[
The ability to use the computer is one of the modern criteria of strength and skill, but the misuse of this device destroys the social structure of the family, and consequently the community. It is not a pick-axe used in construction in so much as a mattock used in destruction.
This is confirmed by almost all psychiatrists and parents.
A study conducted in Cologne University says that excessive use of computer games might affect social relations in real life, and force one to leave jobs and duties unattended -- like school assignments as far as the children are concerned.
According to many psychiatrists, the time a child spends at the computer reduces the time he spends with his friends in playing sports, which may lead to overweight and obesity in the long term. He should spend that time reading, doing any activity with his parents, or playing in a sports club.
Furthermore, spending a lot of time with the computer may result in social problems in a child like shyness or introversion. If your child sits at the computer throughout the day and does not go out as often as he should, he will not be able to learn how to take part in social activities, take turns at a game, or even learn the simplest social etiquette.
According to Eemaan Ash-Shawbaki, psychologist and counselor, in the Jordanian Ministry of Health,"The children's prolonged use of the computer dissociates them from their families and communities, and turns them into children more inclined to seclusion and non-participation in playing with others and talking to them."
She added,"One of the consequential psychological risks is the fear of getting to a point at which it becomes too difficult to achieve understanding between the family and the child, because of the cessation of conversation for long hours, especially when the child is approaching the age of adolescence, which requires regular contact and dialogue to get acquainted with the child's feelings, inclinations and attitude, and to evaluate his behavior."
On the other hand, spending too much time playing computer games inevitably leads to addiction. Dear caregiver, imagine that this addiction resembles alcoholism.
A study by a research group specialized in addiction in Berlin revealed that addiction to computer games is no less dangerous than alcoholism. According to the study, an addict is the one who has at least three of the six standards of measuring addiction determined by the World Health Organization. Those six standards are:
1-Incapability of curbing a desire for something
2-Loss of control over the time of using or playing
3-Overdosing
4-Symptoms of sense of deprivation
5-Negligence of other concerns and obligations
6-Not giving up the behavior of addicts regardless of their harmful consequences.
The study found an amazing similarity between the behavior of alcoholics and computer game addicts. A comparison between both parties revealed that the addict's brain acts in the same way, whether the addiction is caused by dependence on external substances or internal devotion to a particular activity.
Dear caregiver, your child needs to deal with others, whether they are children like him, adults or even household pets, in order to have life experiences instead of being with the computer all the time.
Having learnt the medical opinion about that problem, you may wonder: What is the solution? How should we rescue our dear children from being secluded from their Muslim community, or from being distanced from society?
How to solve the problem
1-Parents have to fix a certain number of hours for their children to use the computer.
2-The child may use the computer more often due to a social problem, in which case, it becomes incumbent upon the educator to trace its roots in order to solve it.
3-It is not enough to determine a number of hours: but it is necessary not to give the child the opportunity to use the computer for long periods of time as far as possible, by prompting him to go to the club to play sports and so on.
4-It is necessary to increase the activities the child has so that his personality would become multi-faceted rather than restricted to the computer.
These activities should vary as follows:
-complete school assignments
-go to theMasjidregularly to memorize the Quran;
-go to the club to play some sport;
-visit relatives and friends;
-set out on outings and picnics with his family
5-It is necessary for the child to know that even if the function of computer is no more than idle play, it surely steals time from his life.
6-Traditional games give the child a sociable character, because most of these games are played by more than one child, which habituates the child to get involved in direct competition with his fellows, unlike electronic games which habituate the child to solitude and introversion. Thus, we have to urge our children to play and take part in outdoor games.

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