For children, - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and Anger management skills and techniques in Islam

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The behaviour of a courageous person is based on wisdom and serenity of soul. He gets angry on proper occasion and is patient and restrained. His anger is to the proper extent and if he takes revenge, it is with reason and discretion. He knows well as to whom he should forgive and what to overlook and ignore.
The anger of a true believer is for the sake of Allah (SWT). In the state of anger, he keeps in mind his duties, rights of creatures and never oppresses anyone. He neither makes the use of indecent language nor acts indiscreetly. All his acts are based on rational considerations and are in accordance with the norms of justice and Divine laws. He always acts in a way that he will not regret his actions later on.
Hence a true believer practices self-control and suppresses the motives of ill-temper through taking enough time before saying or doing anything.
Anger (Ghadab), Bad Temper and Human Vice according to Prophetic Sayings (Hadith)
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "The best Jihad is self-control."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "He is not strong and powerful, who throws people down, but he is strong who withholds himself from anger." Therefore, Anger is the sign of weakness not a sign of strength.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "Whoever suppresses his anger, when he has in his power to show it, Allah (SWT) will give him a great reward."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "Anger corrupts faith in the same way that vinegar destroys honey."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) narrated on the authority of his father Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) that, a Bedouin came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and said: "I live in the desert; hence, I want you to instruct me the comprehensive of speech." Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "I instruct you not to be angry." As the Bedouin repeated the same request three times, Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) repeated the answer three times. Then Bedouin commented: "I will not ask you for anything any more. Certainly, Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has instructed me the best."
Imam Ali (as) said: "The most powerful person is the one who is victorious over his anger with his forbearance."
Imam Ali (as) said: "When a person gets angry, if he is standing, he should immediately lie down (sit down) on earth for a while as this removes the filth of Shaitan (Satan) from him at that time."
Imam Ali (as) said: "Keep off anger because it is one large army from the Shaitan's (Satan) armies."
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) said: "Any one who suppresses his anger, Allah (SWT) will add to his honour and authority in this world and the world to come."
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) said: "A man often becomes so angry that he is never pleased until this causes him to be in Hell."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) said: "One who refrains his anger (towards someone), Allah (SWT) will cover his secrets."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (as)said: "Anger is the key (that opens the door) to all kinds of vices."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) said: "A Mu'min (believer) is the person who when angered, his anger doesn't lead him away from that which is true."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) said: "He who has no control over his anger has no control over his reason."

Fathwa, - She wants to end forced marriage

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Question
One of my female cousins' was married with a man who is living inPakistan, and this marriage was based on her parents' wish. She did not like him and this man married her to get British nationality. The farewell ceremony )sexual intercourse( will take place in the end of this year, but she wants to divorce this man, so I want to know the view point of Shariah in this matter. Meanwhile she is also afraid of this husband as he might not divorce her, and the court justice inPakistanis horrible. So what can she do? Can she return him the Maher )paid( and ask him to divorce or any other way?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
If a woman does not like a man for his moral conduct or his physical appearance, it is desirable for her to be patient with this, as Allah may reconcile between the two and bring them together.
However, she can ask for a divorce, and if he refuses, then she can suggest to give him some money-in return-for the divorce. It is a Sunnah for the husband to accept the request of the wife, but he is not obliged to do so.
The evidence about this is the Hadith reported byBukhari, thatIbn Abbas)Radiya Allahu Anhu( said:'The wife ofThabit Ibn Qayscame to the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( and said: "O, Prophet of Allah )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam(, I do not blame him for his conduct or religion, but I fear to apostate from Islam )because of my uneasiness with him(." So the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( told her: "Can you give him back the garden he offered you as a dowry in exchange for the divorce." She replied: 'Yes'. Then the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( toldThabit, "Accept the garden and divorce her."
Therefore, if a woman asks her husband to divorce her due to not liking him , she is not sinful by doing so, especially if she fears not to fulfill his right. The order of the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( forThabitis an order of guidance and not an obligation.
The marriage contract is in the hands of the husband and the wife cannot break it except with the consent of the husband. So it is not sufficient for the wife to let her husband know that she has left him, or give him back what he offered her )as a dowry(; except with his consent, or an Islamic authority has to give a rule about this.
Allah knows best.







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Fathwa, - Deserted her husband

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Question
My problem is I couldn't get along with husband, so I left him and went to another country. Now he is refusing to divorce me and he is saying that I am the one who left so I should return every thing he did for me in the three years. We have a baby boy together but now I couldn't endure the life with him. What I can do?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Know that the husband and the wife should do their best to solve their problems and each one should fulfill the other’s rights. They should discuss their problems openly to remove any misunderstanding or conflict. The husband should make sure that his relation with his wife remains kind and serene. Allaah Says)interpretation of meaning(:And live with them honourably]4:19[.Allaah also Says )interpretation of meaning(:either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis]2:231[.
The Prophetsaid:"Accept my advice: be kind with women"]Muslim[. The wife should also keep obeying her husband. It is forbidden upon her to spend a night in the home deserting him let alone traveling to a foreign country without his permission.
The Prophetsaid:If the woman prays her obligatory prayers, fasts her month )Ramadhaan(, protects herself from Zina and obeys her husband, she entersParadisefrom any of its doors she wishes.]AhmadandIbn Hibban[. The Prophetalso said:If the woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bedroom, the Angels keep on cursing her until she returns.]Muslim[.
Having established the above, you can solve the problems with your husband by returning to wedlock life, obeying him, then asking him for Kh’ulu’.
Ibn KatheerandIbn Qudaamahsaid:The woman who hates her husband and cannot stand staying with him, is allowed to redeem herself from him and he is allowed to accept that.
Al Buhootyin ‘Kashaf Al Qina’e’mentioned that it is Sunnah for the husband to accept his wife’s demand for K’hulu’.
The evidence for this is the Hadith reported byAl-Bukhaari. NarratedIbn Abbaasthat ‘the woman ofThaabit Ibn Qayscame to the Prophetand said:‘O Prophet of Allaah! I do not reproach any bad character to Thaabit Ibn Qays as far as his behaviour or his religion. But I hate disbelief after having embraced Islam.’The Prophetsaid:"Can you give him back his garden?"She said:‘Yes’. Thereupon the Prophetsaid:"Accept the garden and divorce her one divorce".
Allaah knows best.







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