Try to appreciate the present moment and truly live it, rather than
using it up by feeling guilty about the past, or fretting about the
future.Regret for the past is a waste of spirit, and worrying about
the future is pointless.
Hanan Bilal, a communityactivist and motivator from Florida, asks,
"Whenwill we stop living in the past and longing for our future? All
we really have is this moment. The question is what are we going to do
right now? Our time is now!"
The Past
That's not to say that contemplation of past and future is verboten.
The Quran tells stories of the past in order to educate us. The
Messenger of Allah (sws) told us many stories of past Prophets and the
Bani Israa'il, for the samereason. We study world history, we study
the seerah of our Prophet and the lives of the Sahabah, because it
inspires and informs.
I taught a martial arts class several hours ago and I'm still
reviewing it in my mind, examining what I could do better next time.
That's part of the learning process for me.
I have a sweet young daughter named Salma and I often think about my
time with her, something funny that shesaid, or the small gifts that
she likes to make forme. Yesterday she made me a card that says "I
love Baba." A few days ago we had a poetry reading at our local Muslim
community center, and in between readings our host told jokes. For
some reason Salma positioned herself in the front row, and every time
our host told ajoke I heard Salma laughing loudly, even though I'm
sure she did not understand the jokes ("do vegetarians eat animal
crackers?"). Crazy kid, ha ha. So yeah, I think about past moments.
But I'm not stuck in the past. I think about those moments because
they educate meor make me smile, so they become a part of mypresent
and future.
On the other hand, I occasionally think about my former marriage, and
those are usually not good thoughts, because Itend to dwell on the
mistakes I made, and I feel sadness or guilt. I've already
contemplated deeply on that period in my life, and I've learned my
lessons. I don't need to keep returning there in my mind, punishing
myself. If I did, then I would indeed be stuck inthe past, unable to
move forward. That is the kind of pointless regret that weighs people
down andburdens their spirits.
The Future
We plan for the future byhaving goals, getting an education, working
hard,saving money, always learning and improving ourselves. We plan
for our aakhirah by dedicating ourselves to Allah, worshiping, giving
our money to the poor and orphans, and humbling ourselves. We build
our futures step by step. But it's not productive to sit around biting
our nails and thinking, "What if I fail my exam, oh, when will I get
married, what's going to happen if I lose my job, how will I pay
mybills…" You make yourselfsick and it doesn't help.
Don't worry, plan . There'sa huge difference! Then acknowledge that
you don't control the future. That's Allah's province. Trust in Him,
let him be your guide, find your security in Him.
The security of the dunyais false security. Sufferingis the lot of all
Adam's children, in one way or another, and death comes when we're
ready or not. The security of Allah is real and transcends this world.
The Moment
This moment is all we have, my friend. The past is gone, and the
future never comes, because when we get there, we're still in the
present.
If you take this moment to breathe deeply and say, "SubhanAllah wa
bihamdihi" – glory to Allah and all praise to Him – and then thank
Allah for the blessings in your life, or sit down andplay a game with
your child, go for a walk in thesunshine, maybe take a few nature
photos, call an old friend, write your spouse a love note, read a
verse from the Quran and contemplate it – thenyou have lived! You have
turned that moment into a precious gem, something to smile aboutand
feel good about.
Let's live the moment, be conscious of it, feel it, and give Allah the
credit, and in doing so let's turn the moment into a circle of
sunshine and barakah.
P.S. Isn't that the most amazing photo above? I absolutely love it. I
want to roll around in that grass, bathe in that river, call the
adhaan to the sky, and build a small house among those
trees.SubhanAllah. - *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [
Usefull Islamic & General Articles ]
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Quick Quotes: Compassion, Taqwa, Allah, Nature, the Heart
Compassion
"Hatred and bigotry are NOT the permanent conditions of man. Dictators
fall and pass. War, oppression and hunger remain, but the power to
change those terrible things is in our hands. Allah made us khulafaa
over the earth. We have the ability to forgive, to understand, and to
comfort one another. I believe that compassion is the essence of who
we are. Isthe best part of us, the quality that makes us worthy of the
mercy of Ar-Rahman. Our love is anelemental force, a vast untapped
potential. We only have to be who Allah created us to be. If we can
aspire to that, and hew to it, it will suffice us and the earth
itself."
- Wael Abdelgawad
***
"Do not become proud ofyour position. Do not become harsh toward those
weaker than yourself. And always speak of Allah's kindness to you." -
Ibn Isaq, "The Life of Muhammad"
Taqwa
"If we let Taqwa – Allah-consciousness – become our guide then it
leads usto self-awareness and sincerity. A person who cultivates Taqwa
can never become a terrorist,an oppressor, a hypocrite. A person with
true Taqwa must shed compassion as the sun sheds light." - Wael
Abdelgawad
Changing the World
"Sometimes I want to askGod why He allows poverty, famine and
injustice in the world when He could do something about it; but I"m
afraid He might ask me the same question." - Anonymous
Allah
"People will love you for a short time but Allah willlove you forever.
People will listen to you sometimes, but Allah will listen to you all
the time. People will forgive you sometimes, but Allah forgives every
time." - Anonymous
***
"You don't need a Plan B if Plan A is for Allah." – Bilal Int'l
Nature
I gave my Salam to the mountain
And I drank from the mountain stream
And I walked upon its surface
And it all felt like a dream
And this mountain it is a Muslim
And I feel like he's my friend
And as I climbed on to hispeak
I wished it would never end
- Hamza Robertson
The Heart
"Your heart is a mirror that reflects the world. If it's clean, it
will see the world as it really is. If it's dirty and warped, it will
see a warped vision of the world." – Yasmin Mogahed
***
"When you get close to giving up take a step back, pray and come right
back to it. You just never know who you could be inspiring out there.
May Allah keep ourfaith strong and grant us the ability to turn back
toHim and to be grateful for that ability and many more…ameen ya Rabb.
This goes out to all those who inspire me." – FauziaMohamed
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
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¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
"Hatred and bigotry are NOT the permanent conditions of man. Dictators
fall and pass. War, oppression and hunger remain, but the power to
change those terrible things is in our hands. Allah made us khulafaa
over the earth. We have the ability to forgive, to understand, and to
comfort one another. I believe that compassion is the essence of who
we are. Isthe best part of us, the quality that makes us worthy of the
mercy of Ar-Rahman. Our love is anelemental force, a vast untapped
potential. We only have to be who Allah created us to be. If we can
aspire to that, and hew to it, it will suffice us and the earth
itself."
- Wael Abdelgawad
***
"Do not become proud ofyour position. Do not become harsh toward those
weaker than yourself. And always speak of Allah's kindness to you." -
Ibn Isaq, "The Life of Muhammad"
Taqwa
"If we let Taqwa – Allah-consciousness – become our guide then it
leads usto self-awareness and sincerity. A person who cultivates Taqwa
can never become a terrorist,an oppressor, a hypocrite. A person with
true Taqwa must shed compassion as the sun sheds light." - Wael
Abdelgawad
Changing the World
"Sometimes I want to askGod why He allows poverty, famine and
injustice in the world when He could do something about it; but I"m
afraid He might ask me the same question." - Anonymous
Allah
"People will love you for a short time but Allah willlove you forever.
People will listen to you sometimes, but Allah will listen to you all
the time. People will forgive you sometimes, but Allah forgives every
time." - Anonymous
***
"You don't need a Plan B if Plan A is for Allah." – Bilal Int'l
Nature
I gave my Salam to the mountain
And I drank from the mountain stream
And I walked upon its surface
And it all felt like a dream
And this mountain it is a Muslim
And I feel like he's my friend
And as I climbed on to hispeak
I wished it would never end
- Hamza Robertson
The Heart
"Your heart is a mirror that reflects the world. If it's clean, it
will see the world as it really is. If it's dirty and warped, it will
see a warped vision of the world." – Yasmin Mogahed
***
"When you get close to giving up take a step back, pray and come right
back to it. You just never know who you could be inspiring out there.
May Allah keep ourfaith strong and grant us the ability to turn back
toHim and to be grateful for that ability and many more…ameen ya Rabb.
This goes out to all those who inspire me." – FauziaMohamed
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
In a season of consumerist madness, let’s be grateful, and give
At this time of year the stores are pushing their sales at us.
Advertising is everywhere. There if a frenzy to buy, buy, buy. Let's
realize that this is not a spiritual way of life.It's not an
appropriate lifestyle for someone who is dedicated to God. The
consumerist madnessis a deception. There's nojoy or peace attached to
it. It's a shallow illusion.
Look at what society has done to itself in the nameof consumerism. A
day of thanks (Thanksgiving) has become the prelude to "Black Friday",
the biggest shopping day of the year. It used to be that Black Friday
did not begin until Friday morning, out of respect for Thanksgiving.
Then the starting gun was moved to midnight, and now it has crept into
Thursday evening. Nothing is sacred.
The Prophet 'Isa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son of Mary), peace be upon
him, has been turned into a marketing strategy. His purported birthday
has become a month of shopping insanity, presided over by a mythical
sub-deity named Santa. People go into debt, they fight over sale
goods… no mention is made of faith.
We Muslims fall prey to the same consumerist lifestyle. Sometimes the
holy month of Ramadan becomes a month of shopping, sleeping and binge
eating, astaghfirullah.
Let us – Christians, Muslims, Jews and all people of God – not follow
this path. Let's hew to a way of sacrifice,zakat (purification),
sadaqah (charity), zuhd (giving up material luxury). We don't have to
be monks, but we must focus on the things that matter: faith and
family.
There are movements that advocate a simple living, back-to-nature,
low-impact lifestyle. In Islam this is called zuhd , which could be
translated as detachmentor asceticism. Zuhd is a choice that a person
makes to give up the hunger for material possessions and transgressive
carnal experiences, and live a simple lifestyle dedicatedto God.
That's what we need.
The faith in our hearts is more important than the brand name of the
clothes we wear. Where our feet carry us – to someplace good or bad –
is more important than the cost of our shoes. Thesincerity in our
hearts is more important than anygift. May Allah help us to see what
is important in life.
The Enjoyment of Delusion
There's a powerful verse from the Bible, Proverbs 30:8-9:
Give me neither poverty nor riches,
grant me only my share of bread to eat,
for fear that surrounded by plenty, I should fall away
and say, "Yahweh – who is Yahweh?"
or else in destitution, take to stealing
and profane the name of my God.
(Yahweh is an ancient Hebrew name for God).
If you visit the shopping malls at Christmastime, and read the news
stories of people lining up from the night before and huddling in
sleeping bags in order to buy the latest gadgets, then trampling each
other in the rush; if you turn on the TV to the usual Christmas
comedies and "Frosty the Snowman" cartoons, you see that God has been
forgotten, and has even become taboo. It's not politically correct to
speak of God. Just watch what we broadcast, be hypnotizedby our
Christmas elevatormusic, buy and forget…
Allah says about this:
"Know that the life of thisworld is but amusement and diversion and
adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of
wealth and children – like the example of a rainwhose [resulting]
plant growth pleases the tillers;then it dries and you see it turned
yellow; then it becomes debris. And in the Hereafter is severe
punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the
worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion." – Quran, Surat
Al-Hadeed, 57:20
This theme is struck repeatedly in the Quran. The amusement and
adornment of the dunya is an illusion that dries upand crumbles like a
corn stalk, and becomes dust. It is empty, the enjoyment of delusion .
Wow. That phrase, "enjoyment of delusion", makes me think of a madman
alone in a room,tied in a straight jacket, engaged in a pleasant
delusion playing only in his mind.
I know people who have a bedroom devoted to allthe junk that they have
bought but do not use. They never enter that room and the door is kept
locked. Isn't that a kind of mental illness?
Gratitude
How do we resist the onslaught of the season? How do we remember Allah?
The greatest tool in our toolbox is gratitude. By looking at what
we've been blessed with, our hearts become content. Socrates commented
thatcontentment is natural wealth, while luxury is artificial poverty.
Contentment does not mean complacency or passivity; it refers to a
state of awareness of ourblessings, and gratitude for the smallest to
the greatest provisions – the tiniest cells in our bodies,to the grand
earth itself.
Let's become aware of what we have: the food on our plates, our
ability to see and hear, the love and health of our families, sanity,
intelligence, knowledge… these thingsare huge. When we openour eyes
and start to see, then we become content and happy, and we see how
meaningless are things are like big-screenTVs, the latest smartphone,
or another new dress.
Let's remember Allah the Eternal, and think of our aakhirah
(hereafter). While others are are hungering for more, let's be
grateful for what we have, and give.
Our local Muslim community center here inFresno participates in
feeding the poor at soup kitchens; and is currently organizing a
winter blanket and coat drive for the homeless. I encourage every
Muslim community to do something similar. Get Muslim adults and
children involved in the process of giving, whether to needy Muslims
or non-Muslims.
It's liberating to ignore the sales and seasonal hype. When we abandon
the idea of acquiring goods, and instead focus on giving, we dump the
whole propaganda machine on its head. We change everything. Whilethe
frantic buying of "stuff" makes us forget Allah, gratitude brings us
back to Him. That's why Allah brings together gratitude and
remembrance of Allah:
"So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do notdeny Me."
- Quran, Surat Al-Baqarah, 2:152
Being grateful to Allah means that our hearts become filled with love
for Him; our bodies are obedient to Him; our tongues praise Him; we
receive His favors with humility; we thank Him for everything we have
received; and we use what He has given us for good. We could never
repay Allah. The least we can do is thank him.
By being grateful and separating ourselves from the consumerist
craziness, we set an example of how to live without avarice. We free
our spirits, remove a burden from our backs, and shine a light for
ourselves and others.
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Advertising is everywhere. There if a frenzy to buy, buy, buy. Let's
realize that this is not a spiritual way of life.It's not an
appropriate lifestyle for someone who is dedicated to God. The
consumerist madnessis a deception. There's nojoy or peace attached to
it. It's a shallow illusion.
Look at what society has done to itself in the nameof consumerism. A
day of thanks (Thanksgiving) has become the prelude to "Black Friday",
the biggest shopping day of the year. It used to be that Black Friday
did not begin until Friday morning, out of respect for Thanksgiving.
Then the starting gun was moved to midnight, and now it has crept into
Thursday evening. Nothing is sacred.
The Prophet 'Isa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son of Mary), peace be upon
him, has been turned into a marketing strategy. His purported birthday
has become a month of shopping insanity, presided over by a mythical
sub-deity named Santa. People go into debt, they fight over sale
goods… no mention is made of faith.
We Muslims fall prey to the same consumerist lifestyle. Sometimes the
holy month of Ramadan becomes a month of shopping, sleeping and binge
eating, astaghfirullah.
Let us – Christians, Muslims, Jews and all people of God – not follow
this path. Let's hew to a way of sacrifice,zakat (purification),
sadaqah (charity), zuhd (giving up material luxury). We don't have to
be monks, but we must focus on the things that matter: faith and
family.
There are movements that advocate a simple living, back-to-nature,
low-impact lifestyle. In Islam this is called zuhd , which could be
translated as detachmentor asceticism. Zuhd is a choice that a person
makes to give up the hunger for material possessions and transgressive
carnal experiences, and live a simple lifestyle dedicatedto God.
That's what we need.
The faith in our hearts is more important than the brand name of the
clothes we wear. Where our feet carry us – to someplace good or bad –
is more important than the cost of our shoes. Thesincerity in our
hearts is more important than anygift. May Allah help us to see what
is important in life.
The Enjoyment of Delusion
There's a powerful verse from the Bible, Proverbs 30:8-9:
Give me neither poverty nor riches,
grant me only my share of bread to eat,
for fear that surrounded by plenty, I should fall away
and say, "Yahweh – who is Yahweh?"
or else in destitution, take to stealing
and profane the name of my God.
(Yahweh is an ancient Hebrew name for God).
If you visit the shopping malls at Christmastime, and read the news
stories of people lining up from the night before and huddling in
sleeping bags in order to buy the latest gadgets, then trampling each
other in the rush; if you turn on the TV to the usual Christmas
comedies and "Frosty the Snowman" cartoons, you see that God has been
forgotten, and has even become taboo. It's not politically correct to
speak of God. Just watch what we broadcast, be hypnotizedby our
Christmas elevatormusic, buy and forget…
Allah says about this:
"Know that the life of thisworld is but amusement and diversion and
adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of
wealth and children – like the example of a rainwhose [resulting]
plant growth pleases the tillers;then it dries and you see it turned
yellow; then it becomes debris. And in the Hereafter is severe
punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the
worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion." – Quran, Surat
Al-Hadeed, 57:20
This theme is struck repeatedly in the Quran. The amusement and
adornment of the dunya is an illusion that dries upand crumbles like a
corn stalk, and becomes dust. It is empty, the enjoyment of delusion .
Wow. That phrase, "enjoyment of delusion", makes me think of a madman
alone in a room,tied in a straight jacket, engaged in a pleasant
delusion playing only in his mind.
I know people who have a bedroom devoted to allthe junk that they have
bought but do not use. They never enter that room and the door is kept
locked. Isn't that a kind of mental illness?
Gratitude
How do we resist the onslaught of the season? How do we remember Allah?
The greatest tool in our toolbox is gratitude. By looking at what
we've been blessed with, our hearts become content. Socrates commented
thatcontentment is natural wealth, while luxury is artificial poverty.
Contentment does not mean complacency or passivity; it refers to a
state of awareness of ourblessings, and gratitude for the smallest to
the greatest provisions – the tiniest cells in our bodies,to the grand
earth itself.
Let's become aware of what we have: the food on our plates, our
ability to see and hear, the love and health of our families, sanity,
intelligence, knowledge… these thingsare huge. When we openour eyes
and start to see, then we become content and happy, and we see how
meaningless are things are like big-screenTVs, the latest smartphone,
or another new dress.
Let's remember Allah the Eternal, and think of our aakhirah
(hereafter). While others are are hungering for more, let's be
grateful for what we have, and give.
Our local Muslim community center here inFresno participates in
feeding the poor at soup kitchens; and is currently organizing a
winter blanket and coat drive for the homeless. I encourage every
Muslim community to do something similar. Get Muslim adults and
children involved in the process of giving, whether to needy Muslims
or non-Muslims.
It's liberating to ignore the sales and seasonal hype. When we abandon
the idea of acquiring goods, and instead focus on giving, we dump the
whole propaganda machine on its head. We change everything. Whilethe
frantic buying of "stuff" makes us forget Allah, gratitude brings us
back to Him. That's why Allah brings together gratitude and
remembrance of Allah:
"So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do notdeny Me."
- Quran, Surat Al-Baqarah, 2:152
Being grateful to Allah means that our hearts become filled with love
for Him; our bodies are obedient to Him; our tongues praise Him; we
receive His favors with humility; we thank Him for everything we have
received; and we use what He has given us for good. We could never
repay Allah. The least we can do is thank him.
By being grateful and separating ourselves from the consumerist
craziness, we set an example of how to live without avarice. We free
our spirits, remove a burden from our backs, and shine a light for
ourselves and others.
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Muslim Marriage Stories: Carry me in your Arms Importance of Marriage in Islam
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to say it. But I had tolet her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topiccalmly. She didn't
seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I
avoidedher question. This made her angry. She shouted atme, "you are
not a man!"
That night, we didn't talkto each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I hadlost my heart to a lovely
girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car.
Sheglanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy butI could not take back what I
had said, for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release.The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemedto be firmer and
clearer now.
The next day, I came backhome very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day
with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I
just didn'tcare so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son hadhis exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out
of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy.
Just to make our last daystogether bearable I accepted her odd
request. I told Dew aboutmy wife's divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it wasabsurd. No matter what tricks she has, she
has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had
any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our sonclapped behind us, daddyis holding mummy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then
to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed
her eyesand said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I
nodded, feelingsomewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. Irealized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. Irealized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when Ilifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to
carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made
me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresseshave grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly
it hit me;she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at
the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing
his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his
life. My wife gestured to our son to come close and hugged him
tightly. Iturned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind atthis last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door.I was afraid any delay would make me change my
mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened thedoor and I said to her,
Sorry, Dew, I do not wantthe divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, then touchedmy forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home
on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs
this world.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote: I will carry you out every morning until we are old.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank
balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other
thatbuild a relationship.
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to say it. But I had tolet her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topiccalmly. She didn't
seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I
avoidedher question. This made her angry. She shouted atme, "you are
not a man!"
That night, we didn't talkto each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I hadlost my heart to a lovely
girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car.
Sheglanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy butI could not take back what I
had said, for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release.The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemedto be firmer and
clearer now.
The next day, I came backhome very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day
with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I
just didn'tcare so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son hadhis exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out
of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy.
Just to make our last daystogether bearable I accepted her odd
request. I told Dew aboutmy wife's divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it wasabsurd. No matter what tricks she has, she
has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had
any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our sonclapped behind us, daddyis holding mummy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then
to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed
her eyesand said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I
nodded, feelingsomewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. Irealized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. Irealized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when Ilifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to
carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made
me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresseshave grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly
it hit me;she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at
the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing
his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his
life. My wife gestured to our son to come close and hugged him
tightly. Iturned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind atthis last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door.I was afraid any delay would make me change my
mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened thedoor and I said to her,
Sorry, Dew, I do not wantthe divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, then touchedmy forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home
on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs
this world.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote: I will carry you out every morning until we are old.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank
balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other
thatbuild a relationship.
Muslim Marriage Stories: Importance of Marriage in Islam Secrets of Happy Married Couples
A man and his fiance were married. It was a large celebration. All of
their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to
partakeof the festivities and celebrations. A wonderfultime was had by
all.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was
very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love
they had for each other was true.
A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal:"I
read in a magazine, a while ago, about how wecan strengthen our
marriage." She offered.
"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit
annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix
them togetherand make our lives happier together."
The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the
house and thought of thethings that annoyed them about the other. They
thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down
what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would
go over their lists.
"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many
items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading
the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were
starting to appear in her husbands eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep
reading your list."
The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her
husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands
over top of it.
"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both
of ourlists." She said happily.
Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think
that you are perfectthe way that you are. I don't want you to change
anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn'twant to
try and change anything about you."
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth ofhis love for her and
his acceptance of her, turnedher head and wept.
IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed
and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.
We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.
Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or
annoying things when we can look around us, and see the wondrous
things before us?
I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST when we see and praise the good and try
our best to forego themistakes of our spouse. Nobody's perfect but we
can find perfection in them to change the way we see them. It is
necessary to understand the difficulties and be a helping hand to each
other....THAT BRIGHTENS THE RELATIONSHIP.
their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to
partakeof the festivities and celebrations. A wonderfultime was had by
all.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was
very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love
they had for each other was true.
A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal:"I
read in a magazine, a while ago, about how wecan strengthen our
marriage." She offered.
"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit
annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix
them togetherand make our lives happier together."
The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the
house and thought of thethings that annoyed them about the other. They
thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down
what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would
go over their lists.
"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many
items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading
the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were
starting to appear in her husbands eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep
reading your list."
The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her
husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands
over top of it.
"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both
of ourlists." She said happily.
Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think
that you are perfectthe way that you are. I don't want you to change
anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn'twant to
try and change anything about you."
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth ofhis love for her and
his acceptance of her, turnedher head and wept.
IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed
and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.
We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.
Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or
annoying things when we can look around us, and see the wondrous
things before us?
I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST when we see and praise the good and try
our best to forego themistakes of our spouse. Nobody's perfect but we
can find perfection in them to change the way we see them. It is
necessary to understand the difficulties and be a helping hand to each
other....THAT BRIGHTENS THE RELATIONSHIP.
Muslim Marriage Stories: How to stay young after marriage? Importance of Marriage in Islam
A group of people went to ask the three brothers of Banu Ghannam for a
solution for their complicated question.
As they met the first one, who was old man, and asked him for a
solution, he referred them to his brother saying, 'You may find a
solution with him because he is older than Iam.'
When they went to meet his brother, they found a middle-aged man.
Havingsought a solution from him, he said, 'You may see my third
brother and,because he is older than Iam, you can find a solution with
him.'
Hence, they went to the third brother to meet a young man. As they
couldno longer conceal their astonishment, they askedhim about his two
brothers and his manner.He answered: 'My brotherwhom you first met is
theyoungest among us. Unfortunately, he had to suffer the misbehaviors
of his ill-tempered wife because he anticipated an intolerable matter
if he would divorce her. Hiswife therefore has been the main reason
beyond his growing old at an earlier time. The second one you met is
the middle among us. His wife has gathered both good and bad
mannerism. She sometimes pleased him, but she also displeased him.
Hence, you can see him as middle-aged man.I have a well-mannered wife
who never shows misbehavior with me. Hence, I could keep my youth with
her.
Importance of marriage in Islam or Islamic marriage sayings
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "(Mostly) the doers of good of my
Ummah are the married ones, while the vicious ofthem are unmarried."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "The person who marries gains half
ofhis Faith, then he must fear of Allah (swt) for the next remaining
half."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "A two rak'at prayer that a married
person establishes is worthier than when a bachelor keeps up prayers
at nights and fasts during the days."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "The sleep of a married person is
better with Allah (swt) than an unmarried one who fasts during the day
and keeps vigil at night, establishing prayers."
Imam Ali (as) said: "In anycondition conciliate the wives, and talk
with them warmly and through kind words, thereby, they may change
their actions into good ones."
Imam Baqir (as) said: "He who takes a woman (marries) should
certainlyrespect her, because the wife of anyone of you is a means of
your pleasure,so the one who marries awoman should not spoil or
disgrace her (by disregarding her respectable rights)."
solution for their complicated question.
As they met the first one, who was old man, and asked him for a
solution, he referred them to his brother saying, 'You may find a
solution with him because he is older than Iam.'
When they went to meet his brother, they found a middle-aged man.
Havingsought a solution from him, he said, 'You may see my third
brother and,because he is older than Iam, you can find a solution with
him.'
Hence, they went to the third brother to meet a young man. As they
couldno longer conceal their astonishment, they askedhim about his two
brothers and his manner.He answered: 'My brotherwhom you first met is
theyoungest among us. Unfortunately, he had to suffer the misbehaviors
of his ill-tempered wife because he anticipated an intolerable matter
if he would divorce her. Hiswife therefore has been the main reason
beyond his growing old at an earlier time. The second one you met is
the middle among us. His wife has gathered both good and bad
mannerism. She sometimes pleased him, but she also displeased him.
Hence, you can see him as middle-aged man.I have a well-mannered wife
who never shows misbehavior with me. Hence, I could keep my youth with
her.
Importance of marriage in Islam or Islamic marriage sayings
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "(Mostly) the doers of good of my
Ummah are the married ones, while the vicious ofthem are unmarried."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "The person who marries gains half
ofhis Faith, then he must fear of Allah (swt) for the next remaining
half."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "A two rak'at prayer that a married
person establishes is worthier than when a bachelor keeps up prayers
at nights and fasts during the days."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "The sleep of a married person is
better with Allah (swt) than an unmarried one who fasts during the day
and keeps vigil at night, establishing prayers."
Imam Ali (as) said: "In anycondition conciliate the wives, and talk
with them warmly and through kind words, thereby, they may change
their actions into good ones."
Imam Baqir (as) said: "He who takes a woman (marries) should
certainlyrespect her, because the wife of anyone of you is a means of
your pleasure,so the one who marries awoman should not spoil or
disgrace her (by disregarding her respectable rights)."
Muslim Marriage Stories: How to stay happily married? Secrets of Happy Married Couples
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They shared
everything. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets
fromeach other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the
top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or
ask her about.
For all of these years, he never thought about the shoebox, but one
day thelittle old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would
not recover. Intrying to sort out their affairs, the little old man
took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed
that it was time that he should know what was inthe shoebox.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money
totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be
married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with
you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the shoebox. She had only been angry with him
two times in all thoseyears of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about
all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," the little old woman
said,"That's the money I madefrom selling the dolls."
everything. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets
fromeach other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the
top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or
ask her about.
For all of these years, he never thought about the shoebox, but one
day thelittle old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would
not recover. Intrying to sort out their affairs, the little old man
took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed
that it was time that he should know what was inthe shoebox.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money
totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be
married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with
you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the shoebox. She had only been angry with him
two times in all thoseyears of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about
all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," the little old woman
said,"That's the money I madefrom selling the dolls."
Story - Novel The Fever CHAPTER 6
I arrived to a house filled with noise and packed with cars in the driveway.
The house had not been hard to find, not too far from my house
actually. I barely squeezed the Mercedes into the driveway and walked
up to the door and rang the doorbell. I was greeted by three different
guys, all from work, who welcomed me into the house. I came in and sat
down in a sofa as Binky, they guy whose shift I picked up the other
day, brought me a beer.
"Thanks," I responded as I cracked open the can.
"Don't thank me yet, I stillhave to take your money later," he said as
he winked at me. "I'm goingto make you want to get your own beer
pretty soon." I smiled at him.
Soon enough, the poker games began. I teamed up with Mark, the host of
the party, until I learned how to play. I picked it up easy enough. We
weren't playing for cash for the first few rounds anyways.
"You guys ready to play?"Mark asked.
"Yeah, let's go."
"Do you wanna play or just watch?" Mark asked me.
"I'll play I suppose."
"Okay, everyone buy in!"
Everyone threw twenty dollars into the center of the table. I grabbed
a twenty out of my wallet and tossed it in, telling myself I was going
to stop as soon as I started losing money.
Mark dealt a stack of chips to everyone. I started as small blind so I
was already being forcedto throw chips into the middle of the table,
next to the cash. Twenty bucksdidn't seem like much, but we had two
tables going and there were about seven to eight guys per table. Binky
passed around another round of beers for everyone.
"Aww thanks, Binky," I said as he set mine down next to my right hand.
"What did I tell you aboutthanking me?" he asked, smiling.
"Hey, the way I look at it, you still owe me from taking your shift
the other day," I joked back. He laughed and sat downafter everyone
was served.
The first game went fairlyquick. I was playing conservatively and
waiting for opportune times to gamble. I was slowly bleeding chips,
but I stayed in while other people started to get weeded out and went
to go watch Mark's four-hundred plus channels on cable.
Eventually two tables became one, and one became half a table. There
were five of us left and even though I wasn'tleading, I was still
holding on.
Five left, four, three, two... I was one of two left in the game.
Then I took my opportunity and struck.
I definitely had the betterhand, and I pushed all in, acting as if I
just wanted to join the rest of the guys and watch cable. Binky was
buying into my act, and matched my gamble.
"Holy crap, you just beat me. You have a full house."
"Is that what it is called? Ididn't know I just figuredit might be
something," I lied. I had easily figured this game out. I was just
playing an act."Beginner's luck."
"Yeah, beginner's luck," Binky replied. "Hey, I'm kind of sick of
playing; we've been going at it for over three hours. Since you did so
good foryour first time, wanna split the pot? The game ison and I
really wanted to watch."
"Yeah, that's fine by me. Ikind of wanted to watch the game too."
"Alright, let me count up the cash and I'll split it down the middle."
"Sounds good to me."
And with that, I ended the night with one-hundred thirty more dollars
that I had spent that night. It was free. It was easy.
I walked back to grab another beer and headedover to the sofa to watch
the game with the guys: University of Illinois versus University of
Wisconsin- Big Ten game.I casually posed my question to Mark.
"Hey Mark, when are you planning on hosting another poker night? This
was kind of fun tonight."
"There is usually one every Saturday night. We switch houses though.
This Saturday it was my turn. Next week we will be over at Mike's."
"Cool. Well I'm going to take off and get home before the wife gets
too worried about me."
"Alright. See you at Mike's and at work!"
"Yup. See you later."
And with that, I drove home, wondering what I could do with the money.
The house had not been hard to find, not too far from my house
actually. I barely squeezed the Mercedes into the driveway and walked
up to the door and rang the doorbell. I was greeted by three different
guys, all from work, who welcomed me into the house. I came in and sat
down in a sofa as Binky, they guy whose shift I picked up the other
day, brought me a beer.
"Thanks," I responded as I cracked open the can.
"Don't thank me yet, I stillhave to take your money later," he said as
he winked at me. "I'm goingto make you want to get your own beer
pretty soon." I smiled at him.
Soon enough, the poker games began. I teamed up with Mark, the host of
the party, until I learned how to play. I picked it up easy enough. We
weren't playing for cash for the first few rounds anyways.
"You guys ready to play?"Mark asked.
"Yeah, let's go."
"Do you wanna play or just watch?" Mark asked me.
"I'll play I suppose."
"Okay, everyone buy in!"
Everyone threw twenty dollars into the center of the table. I grabbed
a twenty out of my wallet and tossed it in, telling myself I was going
to stop as soon as I started losing money.
Mark dealt a stack of chips to everyone. I started as small blind so I
was already being forcedto throw chips into the middle of the table,
next to the cash. Twenty bucksdidn't seem like much, but we had two
tables going and there were about seven to eight guys per table. Binky
passed around another round of beers for everyone.
"Aww thanks, Binky," I said as he set mine down next to my right hand.
"What did I tell you aboutthanking me?" he asked, smiling.
"Hey, the way I look at it, you still owe me from taking your shift
the other day," I joked back. He laughed and sat downafter everyone
was served.
The first game went fairlyquick. I was playing conservatively and
waiting for opportune times to gamble. I was slowly bleeding chips,
but I stayed in while other people started to get weeded out and went
to go watch Mark's four-hundred plus channels on cable.
Eventually two tables became one, and one became half a table. There
were five of us left and even though I wasn'tleading, I was still
holding on.
Five left, four, three, two... I was one of two left in the game.
Then I took my opportunity and struck.
I definitely had the betterhand, and I pushed all in, acting as if I
just wanted to join the rest of the guys and watch cable. Binky was
buying into my act, and matched my gamble.
"Holy crap, you just beat me. You have a full house."
"Is that what it is called? Ididn't know I just figuredit might be
something," I lied. I had easily figured this game out. I was just
playing an act."Beginner's luck."
"Yeah, beginner's luck," Binky replied. "Hey, I'm kind of sick of
playing; we've been going at it for over three hours. Since you did so
good foryour first time, wanna split the pot? The game ison and I
really wanted to watch."
"Yeah, that's fine by me. Ikind of wanted to watch the game too."
"Alright, let me count up the cash and I'll split it down the middle."
"Sounds good to me."
And with that, I ended the night with one-hundred thirty more dollars
that I had spent that night. It was free. It was easy.
I walked back to grab another beer and headedover to the sofa to watch
the game with the guys: University of Illinois versus University of
Wisconsin- Big Ten game.I casually posed my question to Mark.
"Hey Mark, when are you planning on hosting another poker night? This
was kind of fun tonight."
"There is usually one every Saturday night. We switch houses though.
This Saturday it was my turn. Next week we will be over at Mike's."
"Cool. Well I'm going to take off and get home before the wife gets
too worried about me."
"Alright. See you at Mike's and at work!"
"Yup. See you later."
And with that, I drove home, wondering what I could do with the money.
The Heart Softeners -, Dought & clear - , How to be successful in life.
How to obtain success and prosperity in this world and hereafter.What
kind of success or prosperity that islam want the ummah islam gain in
thisworld.
Praise be to Allaah.
Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and
anxiety… these are what everyonewants, and these are theways in which
people can have a good life andfind complete happiness and joy. There
are religious means of achieving that, and natural and practical
means, but no one can combine all of them except the believers;
although other people may achieve some of them, they will miss out on
others.
There follows a summaryof the means of achieving this aim for which
everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve manyof them
will live a joyful life and a good life; in other cases, those who
fail to achieve all of them will live a life of misery and hardship.
And there are others which are in between, according to what the means
he is able to attain. These means include the following:
1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or
she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will
give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to
the best ofwhat they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)"
[al-Nahl 16:97]
Allaah tells us and promises us that whoever combines faith with
righteous deeds will have a good life anda good reward in this world
and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allaah – with
sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds that change
hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight path in this
world and the Hereafter – follow principles and guidelines by means of
which they deal with everything that happensto them, be it the causes
of happiness and excitement or the causesof anxiety, worry and grief.
They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and giving
thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they deal with them
in this manner, that creates in them a sense of excitement and the
hopethat it will continue and that they will be rewarded for their
gratitude, which is moreimportant than the goodthings that happen to
them. And they deal withbad things, worries and distress by resisting
those that they can resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate,
and bearing with goodlypatience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as
a result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits, experience,
strength, patience and hope of reward, which are more important and
which diminish the hardships they have undergone and replace them with
happiness and hope for the bountyand reward of Allaah. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) expressed this in a saheeh
hadeeth in which he said: "How wonderful is the situation of the
believer,for all his affairs are good. If something goodhappens to
him, he givesthanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad
happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.
This does not apply to anyone but the believer." (Narrated by Muslim,
no. 2999).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that
the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds is always
multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or bad.
2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of doing
good. This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and
anxiety. By this means Allaah wards off worries and distress from
righteous and immoral like, but the believer has the greater share of
that, and is distinguished by the factthat his kindness to others
stems from sincerity and the hope ofreward, so Allaah makes it easy
for him to be kindto others because of the hope that this will bring
good things and ward off bad things, by meansof his sincerity and
hopeof reward. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who
ordersSadaqah (charity in Allaah's Cause), or Ma'roof (Islamic
Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has
ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this,
seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward"
[al-Nisa' 4:114]
Part of that great reward is relief from worry, distress, troubles, etc.
3 – Another of the meansof warding off anxiety that stems from nervous
tension and being preoccupied with disturbing thoughts is tooccupy
oneself with good deeds or seeking beneficial knowledge, for that will
distract one from dwelling on the matters that are causing anxiety. In
this way a person may forget aboutthe things that are making him
worried anddistressed, and he may become happy and moreenergetic. This
is another means that believers and others have in common, but
thebeliever is distinguished by his faith, sincerity andhope of reward
when heoccupies himself with that knowledge which he is learning or
teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that he
likes and enjoys, for thatis more likely to producethe desired
results. And Allaah knows best.
4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is focusing all
one's thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future
or grieving about the past. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) sought refuge with Allaah from worry and regret,
from regret for things in the past which one cannot put right or
change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So
one should focus only on the present day, and focus one's efforts on
getting things right today. For if a person is focused on that, this
means that he will do things properly and forget about worry and
regret. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said a du'aa' or taught a du'aa' to his ummah, as well as urging them
to seek the help of Allaah and hope for His bounty, he was also urging
them to strive to attain the thing they were praying for through their
own efforts and to forget about the thing which they were praying
would be warded off from them. Because du'aa' (supplication) must be
accompanied byaction. So a person must strive to attain that which
will benefit him inworldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to
make his efforts successful, and he shouldseek His help in that, as
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Strive
for that which will benefit you and seek thehelp of Allaah, and do not
be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, 'If only I
had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.'
Rather you should say, 'QaddaraAllaah wa ma sha'a fa'ala(Allaah
decrees, and what He wills He does),' for (the words) 'If only' open
the door to the Shaytaan." (Narrated by Muslim). The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected the matter of striving
to achieve good things with the matter of seeking the help of Allaah
and not giving in to feelings of helplessness which are a harmful kind
of laziness, and with the matter of accepting things in the past which
are over and done with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of
Allaahwill inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of
two types:
1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to achieve
whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or alleviate them. In
such cases a person muststrive and make the effort, and also seek the
help of Allaah.
2 – Matters where such isnot possible, so he must have peace of mind,
accept them and submit to Allaah's will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will bring happiness
and relieve worry and distress.
5 – One of the greatest means of feeling contentand relaxed and of
acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr).
That has a great effect in bringing contentment and peace of mind, and
relieving worry and distress. Allaah says:
"verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest"
[al-Ra'd 13:28]
Remembering Allaah (dhikr) has a great effectin achieving this aim
because it has a special influence and because ofthe hope that it
brings of reward.
6 – Another of the meansof bringing happiness and relieving worry and
distress is striving to eliminate the things thatcause worry and to
achieve the things that bring happiness. That may be done by
forgetting about bad things in the past which cannot be changed, and
realizing that dwelling on them is a waste of time. So a person must
strive to stop himself from thinking of that, and also strive to stop
himself from feeling anxious about the futureand the things that he
may imagine of poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may
happen to him in the future. He should realize that the future is
something unknown, he cannot know what goodor bad things are going to
happen to him. That isin the hand of the Almighty, the Most Wise, and
all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain the good things and
to ward off the bad things. A person should realize that if he diverts
his thoughts from worrying about his future and puts his trust in his
Lord to take care of his situation, and putshis mind at rest
concerning that, if he does that, then his heart will be at peace and
his situation will improve and he will be relieved of worry and
anxiety.
One of the most effectiveways of dealing with worries about the
futureis to recite this du'aa' which the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) used to recite:
"Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa 'ismatu amri, wa aslih li
dunyaaya allati fiha ma'aashi, wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha
ma'aadi, waj'al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa'l-mawta
raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allaah, correct my religious commitment
which is the foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in
which is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is
my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make death a
respite for me from all evil)." (Narrated by Muslim, 2720).
And he said, "Allaahumma rahmatakaarju fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata
'aynin wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, laa ilaahailla anta (O Allaah, for
Your mercy I hope, so donot abandon me to myself even for a moment.
And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You)." (Narratedby Abu
Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49).
If a person utters these du'aa's, which ask that his spiritual and
worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper presence of
mindand sincerity of intention, whilst strivingto achieve that, Allaah
will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped for and striven for, and
He will turn his worry into joy and happiness.
7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a
disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving himself of
that is to think of the worst scenario to which that may lead, and try
to accept that. When he hasdone that, then he should try to alleviate
it as much as possible. By means of this acceptanceand these efforts,
he willrelieve himself of his worries and distress, andinstead of
worrying he will strive to bring aboutgood things and to deal with
whatever he can of the bad things. If he is faced with things that
cause fear or the possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should
deal with that by striving to make himself accept that, or something
even worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the
worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of thething and makes it
seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself withefforts to
ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as striving to achieve
something goodwhich will distract him from his worries about calamity,
he will also renew his strength to resist bad things, and put his
trust and reliancein Allaah. Undoubtedly these matters are of great
benefit in attaining happiness and peace of mind, as well asbringing
the hope of reward in this world andin the Hereafter. This is
something which is well known from the experience of many whohave
tried it.
8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary
things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in
to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts,
such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred
up by some grievous matter, orthe expectation of bad things and the
loss of good things, that will fill him with worries, distress, mental
and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad
effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people
have seen. But when a person depends on Allaah and puts his trust in
Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts
overwhelm him, and he relies on Allaah and has hope of His bounty,
that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves himof a great
deal of mentaland physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength,
comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with
the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how
often have these things had aneffect upon the hearts ofmany strong
people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to
foolishness and insanity.
It should be noted that your life will follow yourtrain of thought. If
your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your
spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy.
Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is protected by
Allaah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that which will benefit
and strengthen the heart and ward off anxiety. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever puts histrust in Allaah, then He will suffice him"
[al-Talaaq 65:3]
i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying him in his
spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his trust in Allaah
will have strengthin his heart and will not be affected by anything he
imagines or be disturbed by events, because he knows that these are
the result of vulnerable human nature and of weakness and fear that
have no basis. He also knows thatAllaah has guaranteed complete
sufficiency to those who put their trustin Him. So he trusts in Allaah
and finds peace ofmind in His promise, andthus his worry and anxiety
are dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy,
fear is turned to peace. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound, and
to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and complete
trust, for Allaah has guaranteed all good things to those who put
their trust in Him, and has guaranteedto ward off all bad and harmful
things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you should
count the many blessings that you are still enjoying, both spiritual
and worldly, and compare them with the bad things that have happened,
for when youcompare them you will see the many blessings that you are
enjoying, and this will make the bad things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa'il al-Mufeedah li'l-Hayaat al-Sa'eedah by Shatkh 'Abd
al-Rahmaan ibn Sa'di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allaah may dispel
worries and regret. These are as follows:
1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship)
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature)
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma'
wa'l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes)
4- Thinking of Allaah as being above doing any injustice to His
slaves, and above punishing anyone for nocause on the part of the
slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person's acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.
6- Beseeching Allaah by means of the things that are most beloved
to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that
encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes areal-Hayy
(the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allaah Alone.
8- Affirming one's hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one's trust in Him and leaving matters to Him,
acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that He does as
He wills, that His will isforever executed and that He is just in all
that He decrees.
10-Letting one's heart wander in the garden ofthe Qur'aan, seeking
consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all
diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfortto his grief and
healing for his worries and distress.
11-Seeking forgiveness.
12-Repentance.
13-Jihad.
14-Salaah (prayer).
15-Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters
to the One in Whose hand they are.
We ask Allaah to keep ussafe and sound from worries and to relieve
usof distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive,
and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
See Alhomoom – Dealingwith Worries and Stress, in the Books section of
this site.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our
Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
kind of success or prosperity that islam want the ummah islam gain in
thisworld.
Praise be to Allaah.
Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and
anxiety… these are what everyonewants, and these are theways in which
people can have a good life andfind complete happiness and joy. There
are religious means of achieving that, and natural and practical
means, but no one can combine all of them except the believers;
although other people may achieve some of them, they will miss out on
others.
There follows a summaryof the means of achieving this aim for which
everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve manyof them
will live a joyful life and a good life; in other cases, those who
fail to achieve all of them will live a life of misery and hardship.
And there are others which are in between, according to what the means
he is able to attain. These means include the following:
1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or
she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will
give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to
the best ofwhat they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)"
[al-Nahl 16:97]
Allaah tells us and promises us that whoever combines faith with
righteous deeds will have a good life anda good reward in this world
and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allaah – with
sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds that change
hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight path in this
world and the Hereafter – follow principles and guidelines by means of
which they deal with everything that happensto them, be it the causes
of happiness and excitement or the causesof anxiety, worry and grief.
They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and giving
thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they deal with them
in this manner, that creates in them a sense of excitement and the
hopethat it will continue and that they will be rewarded for their
gratitude, which is moreimportant than the goodthings that happen to
them. And they deal withbad things, worries and distress by resisting
those that they can resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate,
and bearing with goodlypatience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as
a result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits, experience,
strength, patience and hope of reward, which are more important and
which diminish the hardships they have undergone and replace them with
happiness and hope for the bountyand reward of Allaah. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) expressed this in a saheeh
hadeeth in which he said: "How wonderful is the situation of the
believer,for all his affairs are good. If something goodhappens to
him, he givesthanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad
happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.
This does not apply to anyone but the believer." (Narrated by Muslim,
no. 2999).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that
the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds is always
multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or bad.
2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of doing
good. This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and
anxiety. By this means Allaah wards off worries and distress from
righteous and immoral like, but the believer has the greater share of
that, and is distinguished by the factthat his kindness to others
stems from sincerity and the hope ofreward, so Allaah makes it easy
for him to be kindto others because of the hope that this will bring
good things and ward off bad things, by meansof his sincerity and
hopeof reward. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who
ordersSadaqah (charity in Allaah's Cause), or Ma'roof (Islamic
Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has
ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this,
seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward"
[al-Nisa' 4:114]
Part of that great reward is relief from worry, distress, troubles, etc.
3 – Another of the meansof warding off anxiety that stems from nervous
tension and being preoccupied with disturbing thoughts is tooccupy
oneself with good deeds or seeking beneficial knowledge, for that will
distract one from dwelling on the matters that are causing anxiety. In
this way a person may forget aboutthe things that are making him
worried anddistressed, and he may become happy and moreenergetic. This
is another means that believers and others have in common, but
thebeliever is distinguished by his faith, sincerity andhope of reward
when heoccupies himself with that knowledge which he is learning or
teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that he
likes and enjoys, for thatis more likely to producethe desired
results. And Allaah knows best.
4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is focusing all
one's thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future
or grieving about the past. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) sought refuge with Allaah from worry and regret,
from regret for things in the past which one cannot put right or
change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So
one should focus only on the present day, and focus one's efforts on
getting things right today. For if a person is focused on that, this
means that he will do things properly and forget about worry and
regret. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said a du'aa' or taught a du'aa' to his ummah, as well as urging them
to seek the help of Allaah and hope for His bounty, he was also urging
them to strive to attain the thing they were praying for through their
own efforts and to forget about the thing which they were praying
would be warded off from them. Because du'aa' (supplication) must be
accompanied byaction. So a person must strive to attain that which
will benefit him inworldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to
make his efforts successful, and he shouldseek His help in that, as
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Strive
for that which will benefit you and seek thehelp of Allaah, and do not
be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, 'If only I
had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.'
Rather you should say, 'QaddaraAllaah wa ma sha'a fa'ala(Allaah
decrees, and what He wills He does),' for (the words) 'If only' open
the door to the Shaytaan." (Narrated by Muslim). The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected the matter of striving
to achieve good things with the matter of seeking the help of Allaah
and not giving in to feelings of helplessness which are a harmful kind
of laziness, and with the matter of accepting things in the past which
are over and done with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of
Allaahwill inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of
two types:
1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to achieve
whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or alleviate them. In
such cases a person muststrive and make the effort, and also seek the
help of Allaah.
2 – Matters where such isnot possible, so he must have peace of mind,
accept them and submit to Allaah's will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will bring happiness
and relieve worry and distress.
5 – One of the greatest means of feeling contentand relaxed and of
acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr).
That has a great effect in bringing contentment and peace of mind, and
relieving worry and distress. Allaah says:
"verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest"
[al-Ra'd 13:28]
Remembering Allaah (dhikr) has a great effectin achieving this aim
because it has a special influence and because ofthe hope that it
brings of reward.
6 – Another of the meansof bringing happiness and relieving worry and
distress is striving to eliminate the things thatcause worry and to
achieve the things that bring happiness. That may be done by
forgetting about bad things in the past which cannot be changed, and
realizing that dwelling on them is a waste of time. So a person must
strive to stop himself from thinking of that, and also strive to stop
himself from feeling anxious about the futureand the things that he
may imagine of poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may
happen to him in the future. He should realize that the future is
something unknown, he cannot know what goodor bad things are going to
happen to him. That isin the hand of the Almighty, the Most Wise, and
all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain the good things and
to ward off the bad things. A person should realize that if he diverts
his thoughts from worrying about his future and puts his trust in his
Lord to take care of his situation, and putshis mind at rest
concerning that, if he does that, then his heart will be at peace and
his situation will improve and he will be relieved of worry and
anxiety.
One of the most effectiveways of dealing with worries about the
futureis to recite this du'aa' which the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) used to recite:
"Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa 'ismatu amri, wa aslih li
dunyaaya allati fiha ma'aashi, wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha
ma'aadi, waj'al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa'l-mawta
raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allaah, correct my religious commitment
which is the foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in
which is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is
my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make death a
respite for me from all evil)." (Narrated by Muslim, 2720).
And he said, "Allaahumma rahmatakaarju fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata
'aynin wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, laa ilaahailla anta (O Allaah, for
Your mercy I hope, so donot abandon me to myself even for a moment.
And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You)." (Narratedby Abu
Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49).
If a person utters these du'aa's, which ask that his spiritual and
worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper presence of
mindand sincerity of intention, whilst strivingto achieve that, Allaah
will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped for and striven for, and
He will turn his worry into joy and happiness.
7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a
disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving himself of
that is to think of the worst scenario to which that may lead, and try
to accept that. When he hasdone that, then he should try to alleviate
it as much as possible. By means of this acceptanceand these efforts,
he willrelieve himself of his worries and distress, andinstead of
worrying he will strive to bring aboutgood things and to deal with
whatever he can of the bad things. If he is faced with things that
cause fear or the possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should
deal with that by striving to make himself accept that, or something
even worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the
worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of thething and makes it
seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself withefforts to
ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as striving to achieve
something goodwhich will distract him from his worries about calamity,
he will also renew his strength to resist bad things, and put his
trust and reliancein Allaah. Undoubtedly these matters are of great
benefit in attaining happiness and peace of mind, as well asbringing
the hope of reward in this world andin the Hereafter. This is
something which is well known from the experience of many whohave
tried it.
8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary
things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in
to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts,
such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred
up by some grievous matter, orthe expectation of bad things and the
loss of good things, that will fill him with worries, distress, mental
and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad
effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people
have seen. But when a person depends on Allaah and puts his trust in
Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts
overwhelm him, and he relies on Allaah and has hope of His bounty,
that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves himof a great
deal of mentaland physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength,
comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with
the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how
often have these things had aneffect upon the hearts ofmany strong
people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to
foolishness and insanity.
It should be noted that your life will follow yourtrain of thought. If
your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your
spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy.
Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is protected by
Allaah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that which will benefit
and strengthen the heart and ward off anxiety. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever puts histrust in Allaah, then He will suffice him"
[al-Talaaq 65:3]
i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying him in his
spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his trust in Allaah
will have strengthin his heart and will not be affected by anything he
imagines or be disturbed by events, because he knows that these are
the result of vulnerable human nature and of weakness and fear that
have no basis. He also knows thatAllaah has guaranteed complete
sufficiency to those who put their trustin Him. So he trusts in Allaah
and finds peace ofmind in His promise, andthus his worry and anxiety
are dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy,
fear is turned to peace. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound, and
to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and complete
trust, for Allaah has guaranteed all good things to those who put
their trust in Him, and has guaranteedto ward off all bad and harmful
things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you should
count the many blessings that you are still enjoying, both spiritual
and worldly, and compare them with the bad things that have happened,
for when youcompare them you will see the many blessings that you are
enjoying, and this will make the bad things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa'il al-Mufeedah li'l-Hayaat al-Sa'eedah by Shatkh 'Abd
al-Rahmaan ibn Sa'di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allaah may dispel
worries and regret. These are as follows:
1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship)
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature)
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma'
wa'l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes)
4- Thinking of Allaah as being above doing any injustice to His
slaves, and above punishing anyone for nocause on the part of the
slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person's acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.
6- Beseeching Allaah by means of the things that are most beloved
to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that
encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes areal-Hayy
(the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allaah Alone.
8- Affirming one's hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one's trust in Him and leaving matters to Him,
acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that He does as
He wills, that His will isforever executed and that He is just in all
that He decrees.
10-Letting one's heart wander in the garden ofthe Qur'aan, seeking
consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all
diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfortto his grief and
healing for his worries and distress.
11-Seeking forgiveness.
12-Repentance.
13-Jihad.
14-Salaah (prayer).
15-Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters
to the One in Whose hand they are.
We ask Allaah to keep ussafe and sound from worries and to relieve
usof distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive,
and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
See Alhomoom – Dealingwith Worries and Stress, in the Books section of
this site.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our
Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
The Heart Softeners -, Ruling on entering chat rooms on the Internet for fun.Dought & clear - ,
I hope you can advise me on the ruling on entering chat rooms
anddiscussion boards. I only go there for fun and to see some of the
topics under discussion, and you can well imagine the kind of bad talk
that goes on in those places. Please advise me about this, may Allaah
preserveyou.
Praise be to Allaah.
One of the things that the Muslim should do is discipline himself and
seek to adopt the best ofattitudes and etiquette. This requires a
great deal of striving against bad inclinations and it needs a lot of
patience. The most important thing that can help him to do that is
avoiding places of evil and places that could lead to his doom. The
scholars of personal development are unanimously agreed that man is
inherently weak and inclined towards evil, and that it is the mind (or
reason) that could controls his attitude and inclinations, and guide
his energies. So if reasondoes not restrain one's inclinations towards
following whims and desires, then he will soon find no means to turn
back to the path of salvation.
The same applies to gatherings of leisure and entertainment. Theyhave
always been – and still are, as they appear on the internet – a
wasteof energy and talent, where followers of falsehood who have no
mission to work or succeed in their lives gather, and they waste their
time and their liveswhich are the most precious things they own, and
they spend their days exchanging gossip, and they waste a lot of time
and do not achieve anything for their worldly or religiousinterests.
When the Muslim has theblessing of free time with which Allaah has
honoured him, he can do no more than look for the best deeds with
which to fill his time, notjust any good deed. Hence you see that the
Sahaabah (may Allaah bepleased with them) asked the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) in many ahaadeeth about the best
actions by means of which they could attain a higher status before
Allaah, andthe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
answered their questions.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There
are two blessings which many people do not make the best of: good
health and free time." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6412).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, speaking of regret
about time:
Regret for wasted time should be deep, for time passes quickly and it
is difficult to make up what you have missed.
Time for the worshipper is a time for worship andreciting awraad, and
for the devoted Muslim it is time for turning to Allaah and focusing
on Him with all his heart.
Time is the dearest thingto him and he would feel very sad if time
passes without him doing what he is meant to do. If he misses time, he
can never make it up,because a second time has its own duties. So if
he misses time, there is no way he can bring it back.
Madaarij al-Saalikeen (3/49).
The most important things that will help you make the most of your
time is to avoid futile gatherings and refrain from talking too much
and keep away from lazyand idle people, and to keep company with those
who are striving hard, clever, smart and aware of time, and thoseho
immerse themselves in reading for the purpose of increasing their
knowledge.
The wise man is the one who is guided to fill his time with useful,
beneficial and good deeds; thus he will advance and rise in status. So
you will find him always seeking knowledge, or writing lessons, or
learning a skill, or visiting relatives or a sick person, or advising
one who has gone astray, or earning a living so that he can spend on
his dependentsand save them from having to ask of people.
'Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
I would hate to see any one of you idle and not doing anything to help
himself in this world or in the Hereafter.
Quoted by Abu 'Ubayd al-Qaasim ibn Sallaam in al-Amthaal (48).
The Muslim has no time to listen to or look at sinful things. You know
that these conversations include things that go against sharee'ah such
as immoral talk and bad attitudes, so is entering these foul swamps
something that will benefit a Muslim, or is it anything that he should
seek in his life?
It was narrated that AbuHurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Strive to do that which
will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah." Narrated by Muslim
(2664).
When Allaah asks you onthe Day of Resurrection about this time that
you wasted in idle talk and writing and conversing about things that
are of no benefit, rather they will harm you, what will your answer
be? It was narrated that Abu Barzah al-Aslami said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A person's
feet willnot move on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked about
his life and how he spent it, his knowledge and what he did with it,
and his wealth, how he acquiredit and how he spent it, and his body
(health), and how he used it." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2417), classed
as saheehby Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa'l-Tarheeb
(126).
Finally, you should note:
That these chat rooms have corrupted the morals of many people; they
have caused rifts between loved ones, men have divorced their wives
because of them, women have lost their honour because of them,and
those who are weakin faith and lacking in knowledge have been deceived
by the speciousarguments and myths in them, and have thus been misled.
If the Muslim hears of an environment that is filled with fitnah and
sin, he should denounce the people involved and strive to set them
straight – if he is one of those who are able for that – otherwise he
should keep away from such environments and not be deceived by
thinking that his faith is strong or that he knows what they really
are, andthat he is just having fun.
Beware of indulging in chat rooms on the internet, and protect
yourself from the immorality and evil that is in them, for they are
gatherings that bring little benefit but cause a great deal of harm;
they are of no benefit in this world and do not bring salvation in the
Hereafter.
If you find that you are getting drawn into fitnah and sin, such as
speaking to women unnecessarily and speaking too much to this one and
that one, then you should realize that you are in grave danger, and we
hope that you will save yourself from it and resist falling into the
trap of the shaytaan.
anddiscussion boards. I only go there for fun and to see some of the
topics under discussion, and you can well imagine the kind of bad talk
that goes on in those places. Please advise me about this, may Allaah
preserveyou.
Praise be to Allaah.
One of the things that the Muslim should do is discipline himself and
seek to adopt the best ofattitudes and etiquette. This requires a
great deal of striving against bad inclinations and it needs a lot of
patience. The most important thing that can help him to do that is
avoiding places of evil and places that could lead to his doom. The
scholars of personal development are unanimously agreed that man is
inherently weak and inclined towards evil, and that it is the mind (or
reason) that could controls his attitude and inclinations, and guide
his energies. So if reasondoes not restrain one's inclinations towards
following whims and desires, then he will soon find no means to turn
back to the path of salvation.
The same applies to gatherings of leisure and entertainment. Theyhave
always been – and still are, as they appear on the internet – a
wasteof energy and talent, where followers of falsehood who have no
mission to work or succeed in their lives gather, and they waste their
time and their liveswhich are the most precious things they own, and
they spend their days exchanging gossip, and they waste a lot of time
and do not achieve anything for their worldly or religiousinterests.
When the Muslim has theblessing of free time with which Allaah has
honoured him, he can do no more than look for the best deeds with
which to fill his time, notjust any good deed. Hence you see that the
Sahaabah (may Allaah bepleased with them) asked the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) in many ahaadeeth about the best
actions by means of which they could attain a higher status before
Allaah, andthe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
answered their questions.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There
are two blessings which many people do not make the best of: good
health and free time." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6412).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, speaking of regret
about time:
Regret for wasted time should be deep, for time passes quickly and it
is difficult to make up what you have missed.
Time for the worshipper is a time for worship andreciting awraad, and
for the devoted Muslim it is time for turning to Allaah and focusing
on Him with all his heart.
Time is the dearest thingto him and he would feel very sad if time
passes without him doing what he is meant to do. If he misses time, he
can never make it up,because a second time has its own duties. So if
he misses time, there is no way he can bring it back.
Madaarij al-Saalikeen (3/49).
The most important things that will help you make the most of your
time is to avoid futile gatherings and refrain from talking too much
and keep away from lazyand idle people, and to keep company with those
who are striving hard, clever, smart and aware of time, and thoseho
immerse themselves in reading for the purpose of increasing their
knowledge.
The wise man is the one who is guided to fill his time with useful,
beneficial and good deeds; thus he will advance and rise in status. So
you will find him always seeking knowledge, or writing lessons, or
learning a skill, or visiting relatives or a sick person, or advising
one who has gone astray, or earning a living so that he can spend on
his dependentsand save them from having to ask of people.
'Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
I would hate to see any one of you idle and not doing anything to help
himself in this world or in the Hereafter.
Quoted by Abu 'Ubayd al-Qaasim ibn Sallaam in al-Amthaal (48).
The Muslim has no time to listen to or look at sinful things. You know
that these conversations include things that go against sharee'ah such
as immoral talk and bad attitudes, so is entering these foul swamps
something that will benefit a Muslim, or is it anything that he should
seek in his life?
It was narrated that AbuHurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Strive to do that which
will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah." Narrated by Muslim
(2664).
When Allaah asks you onthe Day of Resurrection about this time that
you wasted in idle talk and writing and conversing about things that
are of no benefit, rather they will harm you, what will your answer
be? It was narrated that Abu Barzah al-Aslami said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A person's
feet willnot move on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked about
his life and how he spent it, his knowledge and what he did with it,
and his wealth, how he acquiredit and how he spent it, and his body
(health), and how he used it." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2417), classed
as saheehby Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa'l-Tarheeb
(126).
Finally, you should note:
That these chat rooms have corrupted the morals of many people; they
have caused rifts between loved ones, men have divorced their wives
because of them, women have lost their honour because of them,and
those who are weakin faith and lacking in knowledge have been deceived
by the speciousarguments and myths in them, and have thus been misled.
If the Muslim hears of an environment that is filled with fitnah and
sin, he should denounce the people involved and strive to set them
straight – if he is one of those who are able for that – otherwise he
should keep away from such environments and not be deceived by
thinking that his faith is strong or that he knows what they really
are, andthat he is just having fun.
Beware of indulging in chat rooms on the internet, and protect
yourself from the immorality and evil that is in them, for they are
gatherings that bring little benefit but cause a great deal of harm;
they are of no benefit in this world and do not bring salvation in the
Hereafter.
If you find that you are getting drawn into fitnah and sin, such as
speaking to women unnecessarily and speaking too much to this one and
that one, then you should realize that you are in grave danger, and we
hope that you will save yourself from it and resist falling into the
trap of the shaytaan.
The Heart Softeners - Obedience to Allaah brings provision.
I am thirty years old. I was sinning till five years ago, yet I was
praying. Then I got married and travelled to France. Many problems
happened to me and I found that the only solution is to return to
Allah and repent. So I repented, all praise be toAllah. I started
memorising Quraan and seeking Islamic knowledge. I fast the optional
fasting along the year, I do not miss any prayer in the masjid except
rarely; I did not miss the first takbeera ofany salah for forty days.
All praise be to Allah as He should be praised. As a result of this,
my circumstances improved a lot, and I felt a very bigpositive change
in myself as well. The more I obey, the more Allah blesses me, Allah
is watching, He knows I amtruthful.
The problem is that I donot know why I am exerting effort in
worship; is it for the gain of the hereafter or for worldly benefits?
If I give in charity for example, I am not sure ifI am really seeking
the pure reward or because I know that Allah will bless me with much
more than what I gave in charity. I started doubting myself, am I
hypocrite?.
Praise be to Allaah.
I congratulate you, my brother, on having been guided to repent to
Allaah and come back to the right path. That is a blessing that has
been bestowed upon you for which you should be thankful, because it is
the aim of every believer, and this is the most important thing in
this world and the Hereafter. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said: Allaah doesnot grant His love to the penitents but they
become the elite of people before Him. Wereit not that repentance is a
word that encompasses all the lawsof Islam and truths of faith, the
Lord would notrejoice so greatly over the repentance of His slave. End
quote.
Madaarij al-Saalikeen (1/343)
The fact that the harder you strove in worship, the more means of
finding halaal provision became available to you shows that fearing
and obeying Allaah brings provision, as Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
Similarly, sin brings poverty. A person may be deprived of
provisionbecause of sins that he commits. Nothing brings provision
like doing acts of obedience and avoiding sins. But you have to pay
attention to your intention before you start to act, so that the
motive for doing good in the first place will be to seek the pleasure
of Allaah, and you should keep an eye on your intention and guard
against it being corrupted during and after the action, so that you
can rid it of self-admiration, showing off, and seeking praise and
status in people's hearts because of it, and avoid doing it because of
whatit brings you of good things in such a way thatif your provision
was reduced you would stop doing it. These are all things that are
contrary to sincerity and spoil acts of obedience.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The things that
spoil and cancel out good deeds are too many to list. What matters is
not the deed; what matters is protecting the deed from that which
would spoil it and cancel it out. End quote.
Al-Waabil al-Sayyib (p. 20)
It should be noted that ifa person's intention in doing acts of
worship is to seek the pleasure of Allaah and His reward in the
Hereafter, and he also intends to seek the immediate reward of
obedience in this world, such as ample provision, a good life and so
on, there is nothing wrong with that.
Allaah has encouraged us to obey Him and to avoid disobeying Him, by
mentioning that reward in this world, which indicates that there is no
blame on the believer if he seeks that.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a person
intends two good thingsby his action: the good of this world and the
good of the Hereafter, there is nothing wrong with that [i.e., no
blame and no sin on him] because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
al-Qawl al-Mufeed (2/244)
Do not let the Shaytaan tell you that you are a hypocrite or
insincere, because his aim is to divert you from doing righteous deeds
and to lead you astray from the path of good. Do not let your motive
in doing acts of obedience be the provision that they bring, in such a
way thatif the benefits were to dry up you would stop doing them.
Rather make your deeds sincerely for your Lord, and thank Him for the
good things that He has bestowed on you:
"And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: 'Ifyou give thanks (by
accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allaah), I will give you more
(of My Blessings); but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers),
verily, My punishment is indeedsevere'"
[Ibraaheem 14:7]
And Allaah knows best.
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
praying. Then I got married and travelled to France. Many problems
happened to me and I found that the only solution is to return to
Allah and repent. So I repented, all praise be toAllah. I started
memorising Quraan and seeking Islamic knowledge. I fast the optional
fasting along the year, I do not miss any prayer in the masjid except
rarely; I did not miss the first takbeera ofany salah for forty days.
All praise be to Allah as He should be praised. As a result of this,
my circumstances improved a lot, and I felt a very bigpositive change
in myself as well. The more I obey, the more Allah blesses me, Allah
is watching, He knows I amtruthful.
The problem is that I donot know why I am exerting effort in
worship; is it for the gain of the hereafter or for worldly benefits?
If I give in charity for example, I am not sure ifI am really seeking
the pure reward or because I know that Allah will bless me with much
more than what I gave in charity. I started doubting myself, am I
hypocrite?.
Praise be to Allaah.
I congratulate you, my brother, on having been guided to repent to
Allaah and come back to the right path. That is a blessing that has
been bestowed upon you for which you should be thankful, because it is
the aim of every believer, and this is the most important thing in
this world and the Hereafter. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said: Allaah doesnot grant His love to the penitents but they
become the elite of people before Him. Wereit not that repentance is a
word that encompasses all the lawsof Islam and truths of faith, the
Lord would notrejoice so greatly over the repentance of His slave. End
quote.
Madaarij al-Saalikeen (1/343)
The fact that the harder you strove in worship, the more means of
finding halaal provision became available to you shows that fearing
and obeying Allaah brings provision, as Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
Similarly, sin brings poverty. A person may be deprived of
provisionbecause of sins that he commits. Nothing brings provision
like doing acts of obedience and avoiding sins. But you have to pay
attention to your intention before you start to act, so that the
motive for doing good in the first place will be to seek the pleasure
of Allaah, and you should keep an eye on your intention and guard
against it being corrupted during and after the action, so that you
can rid it of self-admiration, showing off, and seeking praise and
status in people's hearts because of it, and avoid doing it because of
whatit brings you of good things in such a way thatif your provision
was reduced you would stop doing it. These are all things that are
contrary to sincerity and spoil acts of obedience.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The things that
spoil and cancel out good deeds are too many to list. What matters is
not the deed; what matters is protecting the deed from that which
would spoil it and cancel it out. End quote.
Al-Waabil al-Sayyib (p. 20)
It should be noted that ifa person's intention in doing acts of
worship is to seek the pleasure of Allaah and His reward in the
Hereafter, and he also intends to seek the immediate reward of
obedience in this world, such as ample provision, a good life and so
on, there is nothing wrong with that.
Allaah has encouraged us to obey Him and to avoid disobeying Him, by
mentioning that reward in this world, which indicates that there is no
blame on the believer if he seeks that.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a person
intends two good thingsby his action: the good of this world and the
good of the Hereafter, there is nothing wrong with that [i.e., no
blame and no sin on him] because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
al-Qawl al-Mufeed (2/244)
Do not let the Shaytaan tell you that you are a hypocrite or
insincere, because his aim is to divert you from doing righteous deeds
and to lead you astray from the path of good. Do not let your motive
in doing acts of obedience be the provision that they bring, in such a
way thatif the benefits were to dry up you would stop doing them.
Rather make your deeds sincerely for your Lord, and thank Him for the
good things that He has bestowed on you:
"And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: 'Ifyou give thanks (by
accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allaah), I will give you more
(of My Blessings); but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers),
verily, My punishment is indeedsevere'"
[Ibraaheem 14:7]
And Allaah knows best.
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Explanation of soorah An-Nasr
In the name of Allaah, theMost Beneficent, the MostMerciful.
Almighty Allaah Says (what means): "When the victory of Allaah has
come and the conquest [of Makkah]. And you see the people entering
into the religion of Allaah in multitudes. Then exalt [Him] withpraise
of your Lord and ask forgiveness of Him. Indeed, He is ever Accepting
of repentance." [Quran: 110:1-4]
Explanation:
Imaam At-Tirmithi related from Anas Ibn Maalik that the Messenger once
asked a man: "Are you married?" He replied:"No, I swear by Allaah, O
Messenger of Allaah! For Ihave nothing, so how can I marry?" He
askedthe man: "Do you not have: "Say: `He is Allaah, the One."'[i.e.,
Soorah Al-Ikhlaas]?" The man replied: "Certainly!" He said: "It is
(equivalent to)one third of the Quran." Then he asked: "Do you not
have: "When the victory of Allaah has come and the conquest [of
Makkah]" [i.e., SoorahAn-Nasr]?" The man replied: "Certainly!" The
Prophet then said: "It is (equivalent to) one quarter of the Quran."
`Ubaydullaah Ibn `Abdullaah Ibn `Utbah narrated that Ibn `Abbaas said
to him:"Do you know which Soorah (chapter) was thelast to be revealed
from the Quran?" I replied:"Yes, and it was (what means): "When the
victory of Allaah has come and the conquest [of Makkah]."" He said:
"You are right."
Abu Bakr Al-Bazzaar and Al-Bayhaqi both narrated from Ibn `Umar that
he said: "This Soorah was revealed to the Messenger of Allaah during
the days of Tashreeq (i.e., the 11th, 12 th and 13th of Thu'l-Hijjah)
and he knew that it was his farewell address. He called for his
riding-camel, and when he had travelled some way on it, he stood and
addressed the people with his famous farewell speech. According to
Imaam Al-Bayhaqi Ibn `Abbaas said: "This Soorah was revealed,
following which the Messenger of Allaah summoned his daughter Faatimah
and said to her: " It heralds my death." At this, Faatimah began to
cry; but she laughed when he said: "Have Patience, for you are the
first of my family who will join me." [Muslim]
Imaam At-Tabaraani related on the authority of Ibn `Abbaas that he
said: "When the Soorah: "When the victory of Allaah has come and the
conquest [of Makkah]." was revealed, it heralded to Allaah's Messenger
that his death was near, and so he intensified his preparations for
the Hereafter (by increasing his prayers, fasting, supplicating etc.);
after embarking upon this, he said: " The conquest and the help of
Allaah have come, andthe people of Yemen have come." A man asked: "O
Messenger of Allaah! Whoare the people of Yemen ?" He replied: "A
people who are gentle-hearted and moderate in their ways: faith is in
Yemen ; fiqh (understanding of Islam) is in Yemen ." [Al-Bukhaari]
It has been confirmed from Ibn `Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah
said on the day of the conquest of Makkah: "There is no Hijrah (i.e.
emigration) after the conquest, but there is Jihaad and Niyyah (pure
intention) and if you are called upon, then respond to the call."
[Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]
Masrooq said: "I heard`Aa'ishah saying that the Messenger of Allaah
would repeat: " Glorified be Allaah and all praise be to Him,I ask
Allaah's forgiveness and I turn to Him in repentance." He continued:
"Indeed, my Lord has informed methat I will see a sign amongst my
people, and He ordered me, if I do seeit, to glorify His praises and
ask His forgiveness, and I have seen it, (it is): 'When the victory of
Allaah has come and the conquest [of Makkah]. And you see the people
entering into the religion of Allaah in multitudes. Then exalt [Him]
with praise of your Lord and ask forgiveness of Him. Indeed, He is
ever Accepting of repentance.'"" [Muslim]
Umm Salamah said:"Towards the end of his life, the Messenger of Allaah
would not stand, nor sit, nor depart,nor arrive, without saying: "Most
Glorified is Allaah and all praise is due to Him." So I said to him:
"O Messenger of Allaah! I have observed you frequently glorifying
Allaah and praising Him." He said: "I was ordered to do it." Then he
said: "When the victory of Allaah has come and the conquest [of
Makkah]..." (to the end of the Soorah)." What is meant by 'the
conquest' is the conquestof Makkah. The people ofArabia were slow in
answering the call to Islam until the fall of Makkah, then they
entered the Religion of Allaah in crowds and within two years, the
whole of Arabia became unified in faith and all the tribes of Arabia
embraced Islam.
Imaam Al-Bukhaari reported that when Makkah was conquered, delegations
from all the tribes of Arabia came to the Messenger of Allaah to
declare their allegiance to Islam, whileprior to it, they were slow to
embrace Islam.
Imam Ahmad narrated on the authorityof the neighbour of Jaabir Ibn
`Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased him that he (i.e., the neighbour)
said: "I once returned from a journey and Jaabir Ibn `Abdullaahcame to
me and greeted me. I began to talk with him about the disunity ofthe
people and their innovations (in religion). Jaabir then began to cry
and said: "I heard Allaah'sMessenger say: "Indeed, the people entered
the Religion of Allaah in crowds and they will abandon it in crowds."
Almighty Allaah Says (what means): "When the victory of Allaah has
come and the conquest [of Makkah]. And you see the people entering
into the religion of Allaah in multitudes. Then exalt [Him] withpraise
of your Lord and ask forgiveness of Him. Indeed, He is ever Accepting
of repentance." [Quran: 110:1-4]
Explanation:
Imaam At-Tirmithi related from Anas Ibn Maalik that the Messenger once
asked a man: "Are you married?" He replied:"No, I swear by Allaah, O
Messenger of Allaah! For Ihave nothing, so how can I marry?" He
askedthe man: "Do you not have: "Say: `He is Allaah, the One."'[i.e.,
Soorah Al-Ikhlaas]?" The man replied: "Certainly!" He said: "It is
(equivalent to)one third of the Quran." Then he asked: "Do you not
have: "When the victory of Allaah has come and the conquest [of
Makkah]" [i.e., SoorahAn-Nasr]?" The man replied: "Certainly!" The
Prophet then said: "It is (equivalent to) one quarter of the Quran."
`Ubaydullaah Ibn `Abdullaah Ibn `Utbah narrated that Ibn `Abbaas said
to him:"Do you know which Soorah (chapter) was thelast to be revealed
from the Quran?" I replied:"Yes, and it was (what means): "When the
victory of Allaah has come and the conquest [of Makkah]."" He said:
"You are right."
Abu Bakr Al-Bazzaar and Al-Bayhaqi both narrated from Ibn `Umar that
he said: "This Soorah was revealed to the Messenger of Allaah during
the days of Tashreeq (i.e., the 11th, 12 th and 13th of Thu'l-Hijjah)
and he knew that it was his farewell address. He called for his
riding-camel, and when he had travelled some way on it, he stood and
addressed the people with his famous farewell speech. According to
Imaam Al-Bayhaqi Ibn `Abbaas said: "This Soorah was revealed,
following which the Messenger of Allaah summoned his daughter Faatimah
and said to her: " It heralds my death." At this, Faatimah began to
cry; but she laughed when he said: "Have Patience, for you are the
first of my family who will join me." [Muslim]
Imaam At-Tabaraani related on the authority of Ibn `Abbaas that he
said: "When the Soorah: "When the victory of Allaah has come and the
conquest [of Makkah]." was revealed, it heralded to Allaah's Messenger
that his death was near, and so he intensified his preparations for
the Hereafter (by increasing his prayers, fasting, supplicating etc.);
after embarking upon this, he said: " The conquest and the help of
Allaah have come, andthe people of Yemen have come." A man asked: "O
Messenger of Allaah! Whoare the people of Yemen ?" He replied: "A
people who are gentle-hearted and moderate in their ways: faith is in
Yemen ; fiqh (understanding of Islam) is in Yemen ." [Al-Bukhaari]
It has been confirmed from Ibn `Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah
said on the day of the conquest of Makkah: "There is no Hijrah (i.e.
emigration) after the conquest, but there is Jihaad and Niyyah (pure
intention) and if you are called upon, then respond to the call."
[Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]
Masrooq said: "I heard`Aa'ishah saying that the Messenger of Allaah
would repeat: " Glorified be Allaah and all praise be to Him,I ask
Allaah's forgiveness and I turn to Him in repentance." He continued:
"Indeed, my Lord has informed methat I will see a sign amongst my
people, and He ordered me, if I do seeit, to glorify His praises and
ask His forgiveness, and I have seen it, (it is): 'When the victory of
Allaah has come and the conquest [of Makkah]. And you see the people
entering into the religion of Allaah in multitudes. Then exalt [Him]
with praise of your Lord and ask forgiveness of Him. Indeed, He is
ever Accepting of repentance.'"" [Muslim]
Umm Salamah said:"Towards the end of his life, the Messenger of Allaah
would not stand, nor sit, nor depart,nor arrive, without saying: "Most
Glorified is Allaah and all praise is due to Him." So I said to him:
"O Messenger of Allaah! I have observed you frequently glorifying
Allaah and praising Him." He said: "I was ordered to do it." Then he
said: "When the victory of Allaah has come and the conquest [of
Makkah]..." (to the end of the Soorah)." What is meant by 'the
conquest' is the conquestof Makkah. The people ofArabia were slow in
answering the call to Islam until the fall of Makkah, then they
entered the Religion of Allaah in crowds and within two years, the
whole of Arabia became unified in faith and all the tribes of Arabia
embraced Islam.
Imaam Al-Bukhaari reported that when Makkah was conquered, delegations
from all the tribes of Arabia came to the Messenger of Allaah to
declare their allegiance to Islam, whileprior to it, they were slow to
embrace Islam.
Imam Ahmad narrated on the authorityof the neighbour of Jaabir Ibn
`Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased him that he (i.e., the neighbour)
said: "I once returned from a journey and Jaabir Ibn `Abdullaahcame to
me and greeted me. I began to talk with him about the disunity ofthe
people and their innovations (in religion). Jaabir then began to cry
and said: "I heard Allaah'sMessenger say: "Indeed, the people entered
the Religion of Allaah in crowds and they will abandon it in crowds."
Prophet Muhammad's justice and equality
The Prophet asked people to be just and kind. As the supreme judge and
arbiter, as the leader of Muslims, as generalissimo of a rising power,
as a reformer andapostle, he had alwaysto deal with people and their
affairs. He had often to deal with mutually inimical and warring
tribes when showing justice to one carried the danger of antagonizing
the other, and yet he never deviated from the path of justice. In
administering justice, he made no distinction between believers and
nonbelievers, friends andfoes, high and low. From numerous instances
reported in the traditions, a few are given below.
Sakhr, a chief of a tribe, had helped the Prophet greatly in the siege
of Taaif, for which he was naturally obliged to him. Soon after, two
charges were brought against Sakhr: one by Mugheerah of illegal
confinement of his (Mugheerah's) aunt and the other by Banu Saalim of
forcible occupation of his spring by Sakhr. In both cases, he
decidedagainst Sakhr and made him undo the wrong. [Abu Daawood]
Abdullaah Ibn Sahl was deputed to collect rent from Jews of Khaybar.
His cousin Mahisah accompanied him but, on reaching Khaybar, they had
separated. Abdullaah was waylaid and done to death. Mahisah reported
this tragedy to the Prophet but as there were no eye-witnesses to
identify the guilty, he did not say anything to the Jews and paid the
blood-money out of the state revenues. [Al-Bukhaari]
A woman of the Makhzoom family with good connections was found guilty
of theft. For the prestige of the Quraysh, some prominentpeople
including Usaamah Ibn Zayd interceded to save her from punishment. The
Prophet refused to condone the crime and expressed displeasure saying:
"Many a community ruined itself in the past as they only punished the
poor and ignored the offences of the exalted. By Allaah,if Muhammad's
(My) daughter Faatimah would have committed theft, her hand would have
been severed." [Al-Bukhaari]
The Jews, in spite of theirhostility to the Prophet were so impressed
by his impartiality and senseof justice that they used to bring their
cases to him and he decided them according to Jewishlaw. [Abu Daawood]
Once, while he was distributing the spoils of war, people flocked
around him and one manalmost fell upon him. He pushed the men with a
stick causing a slight abrasion. He was so sorry about this that he
told the man that he could have his revenge, but the man said: "O
messenger of Allaah, I forgive you." (Abu Daawood)
In his fatal illness, the Prophet proclaimed in a concourse assembled
athis house that if he owed anything to anyone the person concerned
could claim it; if he had ever hurt anyone's person, honor or
property, he could have his price while he was yet in this world. A
hush fell on the crowd. One man came forward to claim a few Dirhams
which were paid at once.[Ibn Hishaam]
Equality
Muhammad asked people to shun notions ofracial, family or any
otherform of superiority basedon mundane things and said that
righteousness alone was the criterion of one's superiority over
another. It has already been shown how he mixed with everyone on equal
terms, how he ate with slaves, servants and the poorest on the same
sheet (a practice that is still followed in Arabia), how he refused
all privileges and worked like any ordinarylaborer. Two instances may,
however, be quotedhere:
Once the Prophet visited Sa'd Ibn 'Ubaadah . While returning, Sa'dsent
his son Qays with him. The Prophet asked Qays to mount his camel with
him. Qays hesitated out of respect but the Prophet insisted: " Either
mount the camel or go back." Qays decided to go back. [Abu Daawood]
On another occasion he was traveling on his camel over hilly terrain
with a companion, Uqbah Ibn 'Aamir . After going some distance, he
asked 'Uqbah to ride the camel, but Uqbah thought this would be
showing disrespect to the Prophet . But the Prophet insisted and he
had to comply. The Prophet himself walked on foot as he did not want
to put too muchload on the animal. [An-Nasaa'ee]
The prisoners of war of Badr included Al-'Abbaas,the uncle of the
Prophet . Some people were prepared to forgo their shares and remit
the Prophet's ransom but he declined saying that he could make no
distinctions. [Al-Bukhaari]
During a halt on a journey, the companions apportioned work among
themselves for preparing food. The Prophet took upon himself the task
of collecting firewood. His companions pleaded that they would do it
andthat he need not take the trouble, but he replied: "It is true, but
I do not like to attribute any distinction tomyself. Allaah does not
like the man who considers himself superior to his companions."
[Az-Zarqaani]
arbiter, as the leader of Muslims, as generalissimo of a rising power,
as a reformer andapostle, he had alwaysto deal with people and their
affairs. He had often to deal with mutually inimical and warring
tribes when showing justice to one carried the danger of antagonizing
the other, and yet he never deviated from the path of justice. In
administering justice, he made no distinction between believers and
nonbelievers, friends andfoes, high and low. From numerous instances
reported in the traditions, a few are given below.
Sakhr, a chief of a tribe, had helped the Prophet greatly in the siege
of Taaif, for which he was naturally obliged to him. Soon after, two
charges were brought against Sakhr: one by Mugheerah of illegal
confinement of his (Mugheerah's) aunt and the other by Banu Saalim of
forcible occupation of his spring by Sakhr. In both cases, he
decidedagainst Sakhr and made him undo the wrong. [Abu Daawood]
Abdullaah Ibn Sahl was deputed to collect rent from Jews of Khaybar.
His cousin Mahisah accompanied him but, on reaching Khaybar, they had
separated. Abdullaah was waylaid and done to death. Mahisah reported
this tragedy to the Prophet but as there were no eye-witnesses to
identify the guilty, he did not say anything to the Jews and paid the
blood-money out of the state revenues. [Al-Bukhaari]
A woman of the Makhzoom family with good connections was found guilty
of theft. For the prestige of the Quraysh, some prominentpeople
including Usaamah Ibn Zayd interceded to save her from punishment. The
Prophet refused to condone the crime and expressed displeasure saying:
"Many a community ruined itself in the past as they only punished the
poor and ignored the offences of the exalted. By Allaah,if Muhammad's
(My) daughter Faatimah would have committed theft, her hand would have
been severed." [Al-Bukhaari]
The Jews, in spite of theirhostility to the Prophet were so impressed
by his impartiality and senseof justice that they used to bring their
cases to him and he decided them according to Jewishlaw. [Abu Daawood]
Once, while he was distributing the spoils of war, people flocked
around him and one manalmost fell upon him. He pushed the men with a
stick causing a slight abrasion. He was so sorry about this that he
told the man that he could have his revenge, but the man said: "O
messenger of Allaah, I forgive you." (Abu Daawood)
In his fatal illness, the Prophet proclaimed in a concourse assembled
athis house that if he owed anything to anyone the person concerned
could claim it; if he had ever hurt anyone's person, honor or
property, he could have his price while he was yet in this world. A
hush fell on the crowd. One man came forward to claim a few Dirhams
which were paid at once.[Ibn Hishaam]
Equality
Muhammad asked people to shun notions ofracial, family or any
otherform of superiority basedon mundane things and said that
righteousness alone was the criterion of one's superiority over
another. It has already been shown how he mixed with everyone on equal
terms, how he ate with slaves, servants and the poorest on the same
sheet (a practice that is still followed in Arabia), how he refused
all privileges and worked like any ordinarylaborer. Two instances may,
however, be quotedhere:
Once the Prophet visited Sa'd Ibn 'Ubaadah . While returning, Sa'dsent
his son Qays with him. The Prophet asked Qays to mount his camel with
him. Qays hesitated out of respect but the Prophet insisted: " Either
mount the camel or go back." Qays decided to go back. [Abu Daawood]
On another occasion he was traveling on his camel over hilly terrain
with a companion, Uqbah Ibn 'Aamir . After going some distance, he
asked 'Uqbah to ride the camel, but Uqbah thought this would be
showing disrespect to the Prophet . But the Prophet insisted and he
had to comply. The Prophet himself walked on foot as he did not want
to put too muchload on the animal. [An-Nasaa'ee]
The prisoners of war of Badr included Al-'Abbaas,the uncle of the
Prophet . Some people were prepared to forgo their shares and remit
the Prophet's ransom but he declined saying that he could make no
distinctions. [Al-Bukhaari]
During a halt on a journey, the companions apportioned work among
themselves for preparing food. The Prophet took upon himself the task
of collecting firewood. His companions pleaded that they would do it
andthat he need not take the trouble, but he replied: "It is true, but
I do not like to attribute any distinction tomyself. Allaah does not
like the man who considers himself superior to his companions."
[Az-Zarqaani]
Amending the wife
The household is a huge institution which contains many
sub-institutions, like the institution of upbringing, the institution
of supplies and food, the institution of social relations, and the
institution of entertainment. The wife heads allof these institutions.
It is of no significance to try to amend the household without
amending thewife, and to amend the wife is to amend the entire
household. In confirmation of that, Allaah The Almighty Says (what
means) relating about Zakariyya (Zechariah) : } And amended for him
his wife. { [Quran 21:90] Inhis commentary on this verse, Ibn 'Abbaas
said, "Her speech was tough, thereupon Allaah The Almighty amended it.
It is also said that He made her capable of giving birth to children
and of good character." [At-Tabari]
The husband should be mainly concerned with amending, educating, and
teaching his wife, as well as improving her character. That is the
significanceof the Hadeeth narrated on the authority of 'Abdur-Rahmaan
ibn 'Awf from the Prophet, , where he said: "If the woman offers the
five [obligatory] prayers, observes the fasts of the month [of
Ramadhaan that is enjoined upon her], maintains her chastity, and
obeys her husband, it would be said to her: 'Enter Paradise from
whichever ofits gates you like.'" [Ahmad]
The command given to the wife to obey her husband puts great
responsibility on the husband, as it makes it incumbent upon him to
order her to do what Allaah The Almighty orders him to do. Then, it is
due upon the husband to endeavor to rescue his household from
destruction and to restore to his wife her power and capability to
raise the desiredgeneration.
The way to amend the wife
There are many practical steps to amend one's wife, including:
The first step
The correct understanding of the Quranic verse and Prophetic Hadeeths
that shed light on family relations form the first step towards
achieving this goal. From among those Hadeeths , wemay mention the
following:
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of
Allaah, , said: "Treat women kindly, for a women is created from a
rib, andthe most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion; so,
if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it as it
is, it will remain crooked. So treat women kindly." [Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim]
Some people think that this Hadeeth adopts a problematic argument:
"Islam tells us that 'woman has been created from a crooked rib, in
such a way that if you come to straighten it, you would break it'. At
the same time, the husband is required to amend his wife under the
pretextthat 'if you leave it [the rib], it would remain crooked."
The truth of the matter is that there is no difficulty in this issue.
Amending one's wife depends upon three important points:
Patience : } And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be
steadfast therein. { [Quran 20:132]
Leniency : "Leniency is never found in anything but that it adorns
it." [Muslim] Both leniencyand patience are the fundamental parts of
amending anything, and should they gather together, they bring about
amendment in the best way.
Understanding : i.e. understanding the nature of the woman and her way
of thinking, as her priorities differ from thoseof the man. A wise man
is he who could accommodate his priorities and those of his wife.
Here, two points should be made clear to the husband:
A man fails when he starts to imitate the woman, and the woman fails
when she starts to imitate the man.
Familial life affairs are divided into two groups:
Some in which the woman has authority and the right to take decisions,
and those matters usually pertain to the house like the arrangement of
it, and giving it the touch of beauty. Henceforth, it is due upon the
man not to interfere in all things,lest he would spoil the world of
the woman.
Others are in connection with thedecision that is up to the man, while
preserving her right of consultation and expressing her opinion. That
is, in some affairs, the woman should be given full freedom,
particularly in those pertaining to the house; and other affairs
should be undertaken by the man. In this way, all life affairs may be
addressed suitably.
Islam does not require the husband to alter the priorities of his wife
and her feminine nature. Rather, it does not want him to be strict
with these priorities to the extent that the feminine identity is
removed from them, nor should those priorities lead the way for him
and his entire family.
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of
Allaah, , said: "No believing man should hate a believing woman [his
wife] for if he hates a characteristic in her, he would like another
in her." [Muslim] The meaning of this Hadeeth is also included in the
former one, i.e. a woman might do something that would disturbher
husband; however, he shouldnot dislike her, but rather to reduce her
crookedness he has toentrust to her some affairs, whilekeeping the
whole matter under his observation.
There is a Quranic verse that talksabout the responsibility of the man
in amending his wife. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): } And
enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein.
We ask you notfor provision; We provide for you,and the [best] outcome
is for [those of] righteousness. { [Quran 20:132]
Many a man engages in securing sustenance for his family but forgets
the great mission of enjoining upon them to offer prayer and do what
is necessary for life to be upright according tothe requirements of
Sharee'ah . Prayer is mentioned here in this verse because of its
great importance.
The second step
The husband should endeavor to enhance his wife's scientific and
educational level. This is of great importance for the wife. Many men
are too reluctant to help add to the young women they have married by
assisting in improving and introducing worthy traits. They want that
they take the wife from her family being an epitome of perfection,
being just as they like them to be, without contributingto building
her personality. Furthermore, they are not willingto accept in their
wives any flaw or mistakes.
Before a man blames his wife for her slips, he has to teach, educate
and prepare her in order to be a good, righteous mother, and which
mission is more vital than this?
Many men do not sit with their wives to teach them, although the
Prophet, , said: "The best of you is he who is best to his wife."
[At-Tirmithi and Abu Daawood] That applies not only to service and
co-operation in thehouse, but also to raising the wife's religious,
knowledge and intellectual levels.
The third step
He should treat her in such a way as makes her feel the affection and
mercy with which Allaah The Almighty described marriage in Islam when
He Said (what means): } And of His Signs is that He created for you
from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He
placed between you affection andmercy. Indeed in that are signs for a
people who give thought. { [Quran 30:21]
This is the shortest way to amend a wife. Kind people know for certain
the effect of kindness on others.
The fourth step
A husband has to respect his wife's dignity before her family and,
more particularly, before his family. This can deeply influence her,
which would make her readier to accept change for the better.
These four steps and others are included under a single Quranic
command (that means): } Advise them. { [Quran 4:34] To understand her
disposition, enhance her knowledge, and dealwith her kindly are all
included under the concept of advising and kind treatment commanded by
Allaah The Almighty in the verse (that means): } Keep [her] inan
acceptable manner. { [Quran 2:229]
It is a great mistake of a man to try to amend his wife by
invertingthe sequence that is mentioned in the verse in which Allaah
The Almighty Says (what means): } Men are in charge of women by [right
of] what Allaah has given one over the other and what theyspend [for
maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly
obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have
them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first]
advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed;
and[finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no
means against them. Indeed, Allaah is Ever Exalted and Grand. { [Quran
4:34]
Some husbands begin the process of amending their wives by forsaking
them in bed or by striking them, forgetting that they should come upon
the first and essential stage, i.e. that of advising and instruction.
That inverted sequence of amendmentnecessarily leads to unrecoverable
aversion and a fracture that would be difficult torepair.
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sub-institutions, like the institution of upbringing, the institution
of supplies and food, the institution of social relations, and the
institution of entertainment. The wife heads allof these institutions.
It is of no significance to try to amend the household without
amending thewife, and to amend the wife is to amend the entire
household. In confirmation of that, Allaah The Almighty Says (what
means) relating about Zakariyya (Zechariah) : } And amended for him
his wife. { [Quran 21:90] Inhis commentary on this verse, Ibn 'Abbaas
said, "Her speech was tough, thereupon Allaah The Almighty amended it.
It is also said that He made her capable of giving birth to children
and of good character." [At-Tabari]
The husband should be mainly concerned with amending, educating, and
teaching his wife, as well as improving her character. That is the
significanceof the Hadeeth narrated on the authority of 'Abdur-Rahmaan
ibn 'Awf from the Prophet, , where he said: "If the woman offers the
five [obligatory] prayers, observes the fasts of the month [of
Ramadhaan that is enjoined upon her], maintains her chastity, and
obeys her husband, it would be said to her: 'Enter Paradise from
whichever ofits gates you like.'" [Ahmad]
The command given to the wife to obey her husband puts great
responsibility on the husband, as it makes it incumbent upon him to
order her to do what Allaah The Almighty orders him to do. Then, it is
due upon the husband to endeavor to rescue his household from
destruction and to restore to his wife her power and capability to
raise the desiredgeneration.
The way to amend the wife
There are many practical steps to amend one's wife, including:
The first step
The correct understanding of the Quranic verse and Prophetic Hadeeths
that shed light on family relations form the first step towards
achieving this goal. From among those Hadeeths , wemay mention the
following:
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of
Allaah, , said: "Treat women kindly, for a women is created from a
rib, andthe most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion; so,
if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it as it
is, it will remain crooked. So treat women kindly." [Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim]
Some people think that this Hadeeth adopts a problematic argument:
"Islam tells us that 'woman has been created from a crooked rib, in
such a way that if you come to straighten it, you would break it'. At
the same time, the husband is required to amend his wife under the
pretextthat 'if you leave it [the rib], it would remain crooked."
The truth of the matter is that there is no difficulty in this issue.
Amending one's wife depends upon three important points:
Patience : } And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be
steadfast therein. { [Quran 20:132]
Leniency : "Leniency is never found in anything but that it adorns
it." [Muslim] Both leniencyand patience are the fundamental parts of
amending anything, and should they gather together, they bring about
amendment in the best way.
Understanding : i.e. understanding the nature of the woman and her way
of thinking, as her priorities differ from thoseof the man. A wise man
is he who could accommodate his priorities and those of his wife.
Here, two points should be made clear to the husband:
A man fails when he starts to imitate the woman, and the woman fails
when she starts to imitate the man.
Familial life affairs are divided into two groups:
Some in which the woman has authority and the right to take decisions,
and those matters usually pertain to the house like the arrangement of
it, and giving it the touch of beauty. Henceforth, it is due upon the
man not to interfere in all things,lest he would spoil the world of
the woman.
Others are in connection with thedecision that is up to the man, while
preserving her right of consultation and expressing her opinion. That
is, in some affairs, the woman should be given full freedom,
particularly in those pertaining to the house; and other affairs
should be undertaken by the man. In this way, all life affairs may be
addressed suitably.
Islam does not require the husband to alter the priorities of his wife
and her feminine nature. Rather, it does not want him to be strict
with these priorities to the extent that the feminine identity is
removed from them, nor should those priorities lead the way for him
and his entire family.
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of
Allaah, , said: "No believing man should hate a believing woman [his
wife] for if he hates a characteristic in her, he would like another
in her." [Muslim] The meaning of this Hadeeth is also included in the
former one, i.e. a woman might do something that would disturbher
husband; however, he shouldnot dislike her, but rather to reduce her
crookedness he has toentrust to her some affairs, whilekeeping the
whole matter under his observation.
There is a Quranic verse that talksabout the responsibility of the man
in amending his wife. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): } And
enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein.
We ask you notfor provision; We provide for you,and the [best] outcome
is for [those of] righteousness. { [Quran 20:132]
Many a man engages in securing sustenance for his family but forgets
the great mission of enjoining upon them to offer prayer and do what
is necessary for life to be upright according tothe requirements of
Sharee'ah . Prayer is mentioned here in this verse because of its
great importance.
The second step
The husband should endeavor to enhance his wife's scientific and
educational level. This is of great importance for the wife. Many men
are too reluctant to help add to the young women they have married by
assisting in improving and introducing worthy traits. They want that
they take the wife from her family being an epitome of perfection,
being just as they like them to be, without contributingto building
her personality. Furthermore, they are not willingto accept in their
wives any flaw or mistakes.
Before a man blames his wife for her slips, he has to teach, educate
and prepare her in order to be a good, righteous mother, and which
mission is more vital than this?
Many men do not sit with their wives to teach them, although the
Prophet, , said: "The best of you is he who is best to his wife."
[At-Tirmithi and Abu Daawood] That applies not only to service and
co-operation in thehouse, but also to raising the wife's religious,
knowledge and intellectual levels.
The third step
He should treat her in such a way as makes her feel the affection and
mercy with which Allaah The Almighty described marriage in Islam when
He Said (what means): } And of His Signs is that He created for you
from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He
placed between you affection andmercy. Indeed in that are signs for a
people who give thought. { [Quran 30:21]
This is the shortest way to amend a wife. Kind people know for certain
the effect of kindness on others.
The fourth step
A husband has to respect his wife's dignity before her family and,
more particularly, before his family. This can deeply influence her,
which would make her readier to accept change for the better.
These four steps and others are included under a single Quranic
command (that means): } Advise them. { [Quran 4:34] To understand her
disposition, enhance her knowledge, and dealwith her kindly are all
included under the concept of advising and kind treatment commanded by
Allaah The Almighty in the verse (that means): } Keep [her] inan
acceptable manner. { [Quran 2:229]
It is a great mistake of a man to try to amend his wife by
invertingthe sequence that is mentioned in the verse in which Allaah
The Almighty Says (what means): } Men are in charge of women by [right
of] what Allaah has given one over the other and what theyspend [for
maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly
obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have
them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first]
advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed;
and[finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no
means against them. Indeed, Allaah is Ever Exalted and Grand. { [Quran
4:34]
Some husbands begin the process of amending their wives by forsaking
them in bed or by striking them, forgetting that they should come upon
the first and essential stage, i.e. that of advising and instruction.
That inverted sequence of amendmentnecessarily leads to unrecoverable
aversion and a fracture that would be difficult torepair.
--
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Dought & clear -, The wisdom behind deeds being shown to Allah repeatedly, daily, weekly and annually.
one of your fatwas says that the showing of deeds (toAllah) is of
three types: 1- daily 2- weekly and 3- annually (which is in
Sha'baan). But I am confused: if there is a daily showing throughout
the year, then there is no need forthe weekly showing which includes
the daily showing, and there is also no need for the annual showing
which includes both of them. Is this correct?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The taking up of deeds and showing them to Allah, may He be
exalted,daily, weekly and annually is indicated by the saheeh Sunnah
and the words of the scholars, as explained previously in the answerto
question 44021 .
As that is the case, it is not permissible for anyone to question why
Allah does something, orto think that anything narrated in a sound
text is contrary to wisdom, because that will result in confusion and
doubts.Rather what is required is to say as the believers before him
said: We hear and we obey. The one to whom ignorance and lack of
understanding and wisdom could be attributed is the human being and
his understanding and reason.
Moreover, you could addto this question and say: what need is there
for showing deeds to Allah in the first place, when Allah, may He be
exalted,is already aware of everything that people do? What need is
there for the angels to write down people's deeds, when Allah has
already decreed all that is to happen until the Day of Resurrection,
before He created the heavens andthe earth?
The questions that could be added in this context are many, to such an
extent that it would become too difficult for the individual to close
the door to whispers from the Shaytaan after he has opened it.
But as the question was about the wisdom behind showing deeds to
Allah, may He be exalted, every day, then every week, then every year,
according to what is proven in the Sunnah, the answer is that Allah
knows best about the wisdom behind that, and He has not explained it
to us, and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
has not explained it to us
It says in al-'Aqeedah at-Tahhaawiyyah wa Sharhuha (1/231):
With regard to the words "The foot of Islam cannot be steadfast except
on the basis of acceptance without questioning and of surrendering":
This is a metaphor; the physical foot cannot be steadfast except on
some surface. What is meant is that commitment to Islam cannot be
steadfast unless the individual accepts the texts of the Qur'an and
Sunnah and submits to them, without questioning them or opposing them
on the basis of his opinion, rational thinking and analogy.
Al-Bukhaari narrated that Imam Muhammad ibn Shihaab az-Zuhri (may
Allah have mercy on him) said: Allah sends the message and the
Messenger conveys it; our role is to accept and submit. This is a
comprehensive and beneficial statement. End quote.
Imam Abu'l-Muzaffar as-Sam'aani (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be noted that the criterion that separates us from everyone
who differs from us is the fact that we make the foundationof our way
the Qur'an and Sunnah, and we derive what we derive from them (of
rulings and teachings); anythingelse we work out within that
framework. We do not think that we shouldhave authority over the
principles of sharee'ah and alter the rules of Islam so that they
become in harmony with our views, thoughtsand ideas. Rather we examine
ideas and if we find them to be in harmony with the fundamentals of
Islam asstated in the Qur'an and Sunnah, we accept them and praise
Allah for that.But if we find ourselves drifting away from the way of
the Sunnah and we find ourselves becoming confused and lost, then we
point the finger of suspicion at our own thinking and ideas; we blame
ourselves and admit our helplessness, and we rein in our reason so
that it will not lead us to doom and destruction, or cause us to drift
awayfrom the right path. We surrender to the Qur'an and Sunnah, and
let them lead us. We err on the side of caution and realise that the
words of our predecessors are true: Islam is a bridge that cannot be
crossed except by means of surrendering.
End quote from Qawaati'al-Adillah fi Usool al-Fiqh, 2/411
And Allah knows best.
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General Articles ]
three types: 1- daily 2- weekly and 3- annually (which is in
Sha'baan). But I am confused: if there is a daily showing throughout
the year, then there is no need forthe weekly showing which includes
the daily showing, and there is also no need for the annual showing
which includes both of them. Is this correct?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The taking up of deeds and showing them to Allah, may He be
exalted,daily, weekly and annually is indicated by the saheeh Sunnah
and the words of the scholars, as explained previously in the answerto
question 44021 .
As that is the case, it is not permissible for anyone to question why
Allah does something, orto think that anything narrated in a sound
text is contrary to wisdom, because that will result in confusion and
doubts.Rather what is required is to say as the believers before him
said: We hear and we obey. The one to whom ignorance and lack of
understanding and wisdom could be attributed is the human being and
his understanding and reason.
Moreover, you could addto this question and say: what need is there
for showing deeds to Allah in the first place, when Allah, may He be
exalted,is already aware of everything that people do? What need is
there for the angels to write down people's deeds, when Allah has
already decreed all that is to happen until the Day of Resurrection,
before He created the heavens andthe earth?
The questions that could be added in this context are many, to such an
extent that it would become too difficult for the individual to close
the door to whispers from the Shaytaan after he has opened it.
But as the question was about the wisdom behind showing deeds to
Allah, may He be exalted, every day, then every week, then every year,
according to what is proven in the Sunnah, the answer is that Allah
knows best about the wisdom behind that, and He has not explained it
to us, and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
has not explained it to us
It says in al-'Aqeedah at-Tahhaawiyyah wa Sharhuha (1/231):
With regard to the words "The foot of Islam cannot be steadfast except
on the basis of acceptance without questioning and of surrendering":
This is a metaphor; the physical foot cannot be steadfast except on
some surface. What is meant is that commitment to Islam cannot be
steadfast unless the individual accepts the texts of the Qur'an and
Sunnah and submits to them, without questioning them or opposing them
on the basis of his opinion, rational thinking and analogy.
Al-Bukhaari narrated that Imam Muhammad ibn Shihaab az-Zuhri (may
Allah have mercy on him) said: Allah sends the message and the
Messenger conveys it; our role is to accept and submit. This is a
comprehensive and beneficial statement. End quote.
Imam Abu'l-Muzaffar as-Sam'aani (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be noted that the criterion that separates us from everyone
who differs from us is the fact that we make the foundationof our way
the Qur'an and Sunnah, and we derive what we derive from them (of
rulings and teachings); anythingelse we work out within that
framework. We do not think that we shouldhave authority over the
principles of sharee'ah and alter the rules of Islam so that they
become in harmony with our views, thoughtsand ideas. Rather we examine
ideas and if we find them to be in harmony with the fundamentals of
Islam asstated in the Qur'an and Sunnah, we accept them and praise
Allah for that.But if we find ourselves drifting away from the way of
the Sunnah and we find ourselves becoming confused and lost, then we
point the finger of suspicion at our own thinking and ideas; we blame
ourselves and admit our helplessness, and we rein in our reason so
that it will not lead us to doom and destruction, or cause us to drift
awayfrom the right path. We surrender to the Qur'an and Sunnah, and
let them lead us. We err on the side of caution and realise that the
words of our predecessors are true: Islam is a bridge that cannot be
crossed except by means of surrendering.
End quote from Qawaati'al-Adillah fi Usool al-Fiqh, 2/411
And Allah knows best.
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles ]
Dought & clear -, Is it permissible to work as a bus driver of abus carrying advertisements for haraam things?.
I embraced Islam a few years ago - praise be to Allah - and I work as
a bus driver in London. I am happy with this job because I like to
drive buses, but I am not happy in other ways, because of the adverts
and pictures that are puton the bus. Sometimes they are pictures of
semi-naked women, or pictures of alcoholic drinks and haraam movies.
All of that is displayed in front of people and promotes those evil
things. What isthe ruling on a job like this? I feel that I am
contributing to the spread of evil and temptation, but the matter is
not under my control because I am justa driver. Moreover it is not
easy to find another job that is suitable for me as a Muslim in this
country if I leave this job.
I hope that you can advise me; may Allah reward you with good for your
efforts and forgive you in this worldand in the Hereafter. Ameen.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allah, may He be exalted, for having guided you to Islam and
we ask Him, may He be glorified and exalted, to make you steadfast in
Islam and to increase you in guidance.
We appreciate your concern about what is halaal and asking about the
ruling on your work,and we ask Allah to make good easy for you and to
reward you, and to help you to avoid evil and sin.
With regard to your job, what appears to be the case is that it is not
permissible to work as the driver of a bus that carries adverts on its
side for sinful matters that incur punishment, such as ads for alcohol
and immoral activities. Working as a driver is not separate from those
advertisements that are on the bus he is driving. Based on that, it
may truly be said concerning his job that it is helping to promote
those immoral actions and haraam things, so this is helping in sin
which Allah, may He be exalted,has forbidden in the verse
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness
and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And
fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment"
[al-Maa'idah 5:2].
You should understand that Allah, may He be exalted, has not
restricted halaal means of earning a living and permissible work. And
you should also understand that whoever gives up something for the
sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than
it.Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
We ask Allah to make it easy for you to find a good and blessed halaal
source of provision.
--
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General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
a bus driver in London. I am happy with this job because I like to
drive buses, but I am not happy in other ways, because of the adverts
and pictures that are puton the bus. Sometimes they are pictures of
semi-naked women, or pictures of alcoholic drinks and haraam movies.
All of that is displayed in front of people and promotes those evil
things. What isthe ruling on a job like this? I feel that I am
contributing to the spread of evil and temptation, but the matter is
not under my control because I am justa driver. Moreover it is not
easy to find another job that is suitable for me as a Muslim in this
country if I leave this job.
I hope that you can advise me; may Allah reward you with good for your
efforts and forgive you in this worldand in the Hereafter. Ameen.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allah, may He be exalted, for having guided you to Islam and
we ask Him, may He be glorified and exalted, to make you steadfast in
Islam and to increase you in guidance.
We appreciate your concern about what is halaal and asking about the
ruling on your work,and we ask Allah to make good easy for you and to
reward you, and to help you to avoid evil and sin.
With regard to your job, what appears to be the case is that it is not
permissible to work as the driver of a bus that carries adverts on its
side for sinful matters that incur punishment, such as ads for alcohol
and immoral activities. Working as a driver is not separate from those
advertisements that are on the bus he is driving. Based on that, it
may truly be said concerning his job that it is helping to promote
those immoral actions and haraam things, so this is helping in sin
which Allah, may He be exalted,has forbidden in the verse
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness
and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And
fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment"
[al-Maa'idah 5:2].
You should understand that Allah, may He be exalted, has not
restricted halaal means of earning a living and permissible work. And
you should also understand that whoever gives up something for the
sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than
it.Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
We ask Allah to make it easy for you to find a good and blessed halaal
source of provision.
--
- *-Visit -http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/- [ Usefull Islamic &
General Articles]
- - - - -
Presented by :->
" M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA "
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤