praying. Then I got married and travelled to France. Many problems
happened to me and I found that the only solution is to return to
Allah and repent. So I repented, all praise be toAllah. I started
memorising Quraan and seeking Islamic knowledge. I fast the optional
fasting along the year, I do not miss any prayer in the masjid except
rarely; I did not miss the first takbeera ofany salah for forty days.
All praise be to Allah as He should be praised. As a result of this,
my circumstances improved a lot, and I felt a very bigpositive change
in myself as well. The more I obey, the more Allah blesses me, Allah
is watching, He knows I amtruthful.
The problem is that I donot know why I am exerting effort in
worship; is it for the gain of the hereafter or for worldly benefits?
If I give in charity for example, I am not sure ifI am really seeking
the pure reward or because I know that Allah will bless me with much
more than what I gave in charity. I started doubting myself, am I
hypocrite?.
Praise be to Allaah.
I congratulate you, my brother, on having been guided to repent to
Allaah and come back to the right path. That is a blessing that has
been bestowed upon you for which you should be thankful, because it is
the aim of every believer, and this is the most important thing in
this world and the Hereafter. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said: Allaah doesnot grant His love to the penitents but they
become the elite of people before Him. Wereit not that repentance is a
word that encompasses all the lawsof Islam and truths of faith, the
Lord would notrejoice so greatly over the repentance of His slave. End
quote.
Madaarij al-Saalikeen (1/343)
The fact that the harder you strove in worship, the more means of
finding halaal provision became available to you shows that fearing
and obeying Allaah brings provision, as Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
Similarly, sin brings poverty. A person may be deprived of
provisionbecause of sins that he commits. Nothing brings provision
like doing acts of obedience and avoiding sins. But you have to pay
attention to your intention before you start to act, so that the
motive for doing good in the first place will be to seek the pleasure
of Allaah, and you should keep an eye on your intention and guard
against it being corrupted during and after the action, so that you
can rid it of self-admiration, showing off, and seeking praise and
status in people's hearts because of it, and avoid doing it because of
whatit brings you of good things in such a way thatif your provision
was reduced you would stop doing it. These are all things that are
contrary to sincerity and spoil acts of obedience.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The things that
spoil and cancel out good deeds are too many to list. What matters is
not the deed; what matters is protecting the deed from that which
would spoil it and cancel it out. End quote.
Al-Waabil al-Sayyib (p. 20)
It should be noted that ifa person's intention in doing acts of
worship is to seek the pleasure of Allaah and His reward in the
Hereafter, and he also intends to seek the immediate reward of
obedience in this world, such as ample provision, a good life and so
on, there is nothing wrong with that.
Allaah has encouraged us to obey Him and to avoid disobeying Him, by
mentioning that reward in this world, which indicates that there is no
blame on the believer if he seeks that.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a person
intends two good thingsby his action: the good of this world and the
good of the Hereafter, there is nothing wrong with that [i.e., no
blame and no sin on him] because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
al-Qawl al-Mufeed (2/244)
Do not let the Shaytaan tell you that you are a hypocrite or
insincere, because his aim is to divert you from doing righteous deeds
and to lead you astray from the path of good. Do not let your motive
in doing acts of obedience be the provision that they bring, in such a
way thatif the benefits were to dry up you would stop doing them.
Rather make your deeds sincerely for your Lord, and thank Him for the
good things that He has bestowed on you:
"And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: 'Ifyou give thanks (by
accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allaah), I will give you more
(of My Blessings); but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers),
verily, My punishment is indeedsevere'"
[Ibraaheem 14:7]
And Allaah knows best.
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