situationas I have reached a dead end and would like to seek the
advice of people of knowledge. May Allah reward you.
I am currently married andwould like to marry a second wife Insha
Allah. I am an American who lives and works in Singapore and my future
second wifeis from Indonesia.
The problem is the following: I am planning to make the marriage
official in Indonesia, but the Indonesian government requires a
document from my embassy called 'No objection to marriage'. This
document cannot be issued by my country because polygamy is illegal in
the US. So this means that I cannot make a civil marriage and my
marriage will not be recognized by any government offices (neither in
Indonesia nor in the US).
I have then thought aboutmaking a traditional marriage with the future
wife, her father (wali), andtwo witnesses under the auspices of an
Imam followed by a Walimah to publicize the marriage. The problem with
this is that if we have children, they will have several difficulties
because they will not be issued documents, will not have an official
father (on paper) and other problems.
I feel sad for this situation as this woman I am planning to marry is
reallyin need. She is a widow with 2 orphaned daughters who are 10
and2 years old. I feel our secular governments are making haram what
Allah has made Halal and are making the lives of Muslims very
difficult. Can you please advise on whatto do? I have prayed Istikhara
several times andmy feeling is positive towards marriage but I still
have these issues which have to do with thefuture of our offspring.
Please take note that I am seeking a second wife because my wife
cannot have children. Please advise your brother.
Jazakum Allah Khair
Wassalamu Aleikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh
-sloumabs
A:-> I just want to start by saying, we are neither shaykhs nor
scholars. We are just laypeople trying to advise others as best as
possible insha'Allah, basedon our own personal experiences and limited
knowledge of Islam.
Unfortunately, I don't havethe extensive knowledge about the governing
countries you've mentioned to give any meaningful feedback about the
situation you are considering. From my heart, what I can tell you is
this: if you really believethat Allah is guiding you inthis direction,
then follow His guidance and trust Himto work out the details. In my
experience, when we follow Allah, even when situations seem
hopelesslycomplicated from our cognitive understanding, He has a way
of making everything work together for those involved. If it were me,
I would go forward with an Islamic Nikkah and take the next steps and
days one at a time, and work on each issue that may arise as it comes.
I can say, if your current wife (who I am presumingis also an American
citizen)already knows and consents to your intentions, maybe she would
be willing to give you a civil divorce (remaining married to
youIslamically) to help make the path clearer for you with the second
marriage. Then, possibly you can help your second wife attain US
citizenship, which would help the concerns you noted about possible
future children. However, if you haven't told your current wife about
what's going on or if she is not in cooperationwith you about this,
I'd say you have a bigger problem on your hands altogether.
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