mother's cousin from father side; meaning my uncle but still they got
me married to him. I was engaged to him in childhood against my
parent's will but then my mother agree later on.
I was little when I moved to Europe and then little by little I
started understanding life. I kept telling my parents that I don't
want to get married to my fiance for 4 years; asI didn't like him from
the start.
My father was on my side but my mother wasn't as she wanted me to get
married to my fiance. After4 years, I came to UK where my uncle was
already present. I told my uncle and my parents as well that if I
don't want toget married then why they are forcing me to marry him.
But, no one listened to me even I shouted and cried but to no avail.
Even I told my fiance as well that I don't want to get married to him;
he was in Pakistan and I was in UK. I told him that several years ago.
Everyone was forcing me so much that I had to say"yes". We got married
but after marriage, we used tofight a lot. I spent 1 monthin Pakistan
then I returnedto UK.
After spending 3 months in UK, I realized that I can'tspend my whole
life with him. In future when we have kids, they will suffer too.
That's why I went to Pakistan after 3 months sothat I can get him to
cometo UK asap so that I can break this marriage once he is here
(U.K). But, they refused him visa:(.
After returning to Pakistan, and I didn't wantto have any intimate
relations with him. When he used to touch me, I wanted to push him but
I fear Allah a lot. What do I do? I am tired of fights and have
decided to leave him as he is irresponsible. He loves me but he is two
faced person.
I have grown to hate him a lot after just 3 months ofmarriage. Not
that, I liked him before marriage either but I thought to fulfill my
mother's wish. I wanted to make this marriage work from my heart but
he is very negative, self-centered and thinks lowly of others.
Please help me; is it OK if I divorce and leave him. I can't live with
him under any circumstances otherwise I will die. Pleaseanswer me in
detail as it isvery important issue in mylife.
wasalam and allah hafiz,
shabnam.
A: You should divorce him. Forced marriage is prohibited in Islam. A
forced marriage is considered to be void. Although you consented inthe
end, you were clearly pressured into it. You are not a commodity or a
slave, and no one has the right to make these important life choices
for you without your consent.
Since you have no childrenand you have only been married a short time,
it should be easy to separateyourself from him and obtain a divorce.
By the way, he is not your"uncle" Islamically. You might call him
uncle as a matter of tradition, but in fact he is not a true uncle by
lineage and is not a mahrem. So your marriagewas not illegal on that
count. However, if your marriage was forced then it is invalid. And
Allah knows best.