Saturday, March 12, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Should he marry a girl who insists on going out wearing adornment (tabarruj) even though her character is good?

I am a Muslim who is able to get married, and I have met a girl who
has a good character but she goes out wearing adornment. What is the
Islamic ruling if I marry her and she insists on going out wearing
adornment?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us
to marry women who are religiously committed. He said: "Women may be
married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and
their religious commitment. Choose the one who is
religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may
your prosper)." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "This world
is transient comforts, and the best of the comforts of this world is a
righteous woman." Narrated by Muslim, 1467. Whoever fails to find a
righteous wife misses out on the best of the comforts of this world,
one that is better than wealth, children and status, etc.
This should motivate the Muslim to seek a wife who is religiously
committed and of good character, and to give such a woman precedence
over all others, and not to be heedless about the best of the comforts
of this world.
A righteous woman is the one who pays attention to the rights of
Allaah and the rights of other people, and the person who has the
greatest rights over her is her husband.
Persisting in sin is worse than the sin itself, because it is
indicative of weakness of faith and failure to respect Allaah, and it
means that the person is careless about things that may be detrimental
to his religious commitment.
Secondly:
As well as being an act of disobedience and sin, going out wearing
one's adornment is also indicative of a woman's bad attitude and lack
of modesty. How can a chaste and modest woman be content to have
people look at her and enjoy her beauty?
But because of her weakness of faith and the strength of her whims and
desires, the woman who goes out wearing her adornment does not realize
how bad her action is, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and Shaytaan (Satan) made fair‑seeming to them that which they used to do"
[al-An'aam 6:43]
Many of those who used to go out wearing their adornment, when Allaah
blesses them with guidance, become appalled at their former immodest
ways.
There are well known reports which warn against tabarruj (wanton
display of one's beauty and adornments), such as the words of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "There are two
types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen: people with whips
like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women
who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with
something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning
to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its
fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a
distance." Narrated by Muslim, 2128.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman
who perfumes herself then passes by the people so that they can smell
her fragrance is an adulteress." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4173;
al-Tirmidhi, 2786; al-Nasaa'i, 5126; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
inSaheehal-Nasaa'i.
If this sin is repeated, it creates a black spot on the heart, until
the whole heart is blackened, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "If the believer commits a sin, a black spot
appears on his heart. If he repents, gives it up and seeks
forgiveness, his heart is cleansed, but if he does more then (that
spot) increases until it covers his heart. That is the raan (covering
of sin) which Allaah mentioned in the Qur'aan:
"Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil
deeds) which they used to earn"
[al-Mutaffifeen 83:14]
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3334; Ibn Maajah, 4244; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
You should note that marriage to a woman who persists in going out
wearing her adornment can only mean one of two things:
1 – That the husband has given in to her, and is keeping quiet about
her evil action, so he will carry a burden of major sin in the
Hereafter and shame in this world, for he is a shepherd who is
responsible for his flock.
How can a wise man accept to walk with his wife in the street when she
is showing her adornment, and the men around him are looking at her
and enjoying the view?!
2 – That he will stay with her in a state of conflict and fighting and
disagreement. This may be a cause of distress and anguish which no
wise man would accept. So err on the side of caution, for there is
nothing like being on the safe side. Look for a wife who is
religiously committed, for a righteous woman will be good for you,
praise be to Allaah. A righteous woman is the best of the comforts of
this world; she will help you to obey Allaah, remind you of what is
right and proper, guard herself and her husband's wealth, and raise
righteous children for him who will worship Allaah.
We ask Allaah to guide you and give you strength.
And Allaah knows best.

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