Introduction. I am not married yet but Ive come to an age that people
are interested but not lot have asked my hand because I am still
studying. In our little community they dont ask hand of girls who are
still studying, I dont know why, maybe they're afraid to be rejected?
Allahu ahlam. But honestly I don't think I'll be able to be a good
whife and a student at the same time but that is something I will
think about when someone will come In Sha Allah. Question: I have a
problem. Certain parts on my body ( legs, armpits, lips) are to hairy
and I even have sideburns. I pluck it so it doesn't grow fast as when
I shave it ( I do nothing with my sideburns). If you see me, so just
my face cause I way hijaab en abaya, you would never tell that I have
this issue. It's not that I let it grow, definitly not my armpits
cause we are not allowed to alhmdoullilah. I have two question; -
Should I better tell or not tell the man who will ask my hand about my
condition ? And how, trough whom I should say it to him, cause I won't
be sitting with him alone untill I got married and than it's to late i
suppose.
-
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There is nothing wrong with a woman removing hair from the face or
lips, whether that is done using something that will stop is appearing
altogether or by removing it every time it appears, because this hair
is one of the things about which nothing is said (in Islam), and such
matters are forgiven.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the
ruling on women removing unwanted hair permanently, i.e., so that it
will not grow back again, by using cosmetic preparations such as
creams and herbs? Is that regarded as changing the creation of Allah?
He replied: There is nothing wrong with that and it is not regarded as
the kind of changing that is forbidden. If a man or woman removes hair
from the armpit or pubic region with something that will prevent it
growing back again, there is nothing wrong with that and there is no
sin in it.
End quote fromFataawa Noor 'ala ad-Darb
http://www.bi nbaz.org.sa /mat/200802
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 9037
Secondly:
The basic principle is that any physical defect that is off-putting to
either of the spouses, or causes harm, or leads to missing out on the
purpose of marriage, must be disclosed.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The ruling is that
any physical defect that is off-putting to the other spouse, in such a
way that the purposes of marriage, such as compassion and love, could
not be achieved, should be disclosed so that suitor may make a
decision in the light of that.
End quote fromZaad al-Ma'aad, 5/166
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The correct
view is that a physical defect is anything that leads to missing out
on the purpose of marriage. Undoubtedly some of the most important
purposes of marriage are pleasure, service and producing offspring. If
there is anything that prevents fulfillment of these purposes, then it
is a physical defect.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti', 12/220
The guidelines on determining the kind of physical defect of which one
must inform the husband or suitor, so that he may make a decision in
the light of that, are three:
1. The illness must have an impact on married life and affect the
woman's ability to fulfil the rights of the husband and children.
2. It should be off-putting to the husband if he sees it or smells it.
3. It should be real and permanent, not something imagined or
temporary that will go away with time or after marriage.
Please see the answer to question no. 111980
InFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah(19/14) it says: If this problem is
temporary and is one of the things that happen to women then
disappear, there is no need to inform the suitor about it. But if this
problem is a kind of illness that has an impact or is not a minor,
temporary problem, and the proposal goes ahead when she still has the
problem and has not been healed of it, then in that case her guardian
must inform the suitor of that. End quote.
Based on the above:
If this hair can be removed permanently, whether that is by means of
creams, medicines or hormones that control it, then it is prescribed
to remove it and ward off its harm, and it is not necessary to inform
the suitor of that at all.
If it cannot be removed permanently, but it can be taken care of and
whatever appears of it can before it becomes obvious and off-putting
to the husband, then it is not necessary to inform him of it, but you
have to do that pay attention to it and ward off harm from yourself
and your husband.
Is it so happens that despite paying attention to it some of it is
left and is off-putting, and the harm cannot be warded off altogether,
then in this case it is necessary to inform the suitor of the
situation.
There is no stipulation that this should be done by you telling him
directly; rather it could be done by showing him a medical report
about your condition, or telling some trustworthy women among his
relatives, such as his mother or sister, about the situation, and they
can then tell him about it.
And Allah knows best.
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