Thursday, September 19, 2013

Fathwa, - Who has the religious and legal right to name an infant: the mother, father, or ...

Question:
Who has the religious and legal right to name an infant: the mother,
father, or someone else? Even if the wife really wants a specific name
and SHE is the one who carried for 9 months and SHE is the one who
will go through the pains of delivery while the husband does nothing
of the sort, can his choice override the mother's choice for her
child's name?
Answer:
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you and your family well.
From the ahadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him, one understands
that it is the duty of the parents to give the child a good and
respectable name. In answer to your question, it was pointed out to me
that the father has the ultimate say in naming the child based on his
role as amir of the family.
To prevent bad feelings, you and your husband might settle on a
compromise. Perhaps you can both decide on a name that is mutually
pleasing. Or you could pick your husband's choice as the child's first
name, and give him your choice as a middle name, or vice versa. Maybe
you can take turns, that is, your first child get's the name Dad
wants, the second gets Mom's choice, etc.
Ultimately, the father is the amir of the family, but a good amir is
the one who decides through mutual consultation. It is possible for
you to recognize your husband's role as the amir, while at the same
time, making your own wishes clear.
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
Allah's Apostle said, "Surely! Everyone of you is a guardian and is
responsible for his charges: The Imam (ruler) of the people is a
guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of
his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is
the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is
responsible for them; and the slave of a man is a guardian of his
master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you
is a guardian and responsible for his charges."
[Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 89, Number 252]
Allah Most High speaks of mutual consultation, or shura, as one of the
qualities of the believers, "And those who answer the call of their
Lord and establish worship, and whose affairs are a matter of counsel,
and who spend of what We have bestowed on them." [As-Shura, 42:38]
I pray that Allah gives you a solution through mutual consultation
that is beneficial to all.
And Allah knows best.

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