Fathwa, - Relationships

Question:
There is a big difference between love & arranged marriages, or so
I've heard. But what I don'tunderstand is how love marriages can
actually "exist" if you don't become their boyfriend or friend first.
When you have a love relationship with someone you must getto know the
person first before deciding on something big like marrying them! But,
if you started to hang out with that person, wouldn't you become their
"boyfriend" or"girlfriend"? Please help me clear this up.:)
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message finds you well.
Let's address some issues and definitions here.
An "arranged" marriage does not have to be absent of love. Even in a
situation where the marriage is arranged by parents or relatives, it's
possible for the intendedcouple to get to know one another and come
tolove each other.
A "love" marriage is not necessarily all about love. In fact, many
people think they love each other only to get married and find out
that what they thought was love was really just lust.
It is possible to have a"love" marriage without becoming someone's
boyfriend or girlfriend or dating. However, given the tendencies of
human nature, it is difficult to stay within the limits of the
Shariah. That is why Muslim cultures place a lot of emphasis on
marriages being family affairs. And that is why Islamic law places
strict conditions on interactions between unmarried males and females.
It is possible for two people to love each other based on qualities
like character, piety, compassion, and personality. It doesn't always
have to be physical. However, it is really only through marriage that
love is both tested and strengthened. That is why it is best--to the
extent possible--to save these strong feelings for after marriage,
where they can be acted upon in a lawful fashion.
And Allah knows best.