Sunday, May 12, 2013

Power to Divorce is with the Husband

In pre-Islamic times divorce was a weapon used against the woman
solely in a man's hands; when he wanted to harm the wife he would seek
to divorce herand then take her back as he pleased. There were no set
rules and the woman had no rights in the matter. So Allah Allah (The
Almighty) invalidated this injustice by revealing the verse which
says:
(Divorce is two times: then one may retain with goodness (and
reasonable terms), or let go with goodness (and reasonable terms).)
[2:229]
As a way to help preserve the marriage even when some differences
occur, a Muslim man following the Sunnah (way)of the Prophet (Peace be
upon Him) mayonly divorce his wife while she is clean from menses
wherein he has not had sexual relations withher in that month. Since
this requires some waiting period before the pronouncement of divorce,
this allows time for any anger to subside or misunderstandings to be
cleared up, and gives time to other familymembers or mediators to help
in reconciliation. If they continue onthe path towards divorce, then
she must wait three menstrual periods. During this time, he may take
her back honorably into marriage. This will be counted as the first
divorce and return. If thetime lapses and he lets her go her way, she
will be fully divorcedfor the first time, and is free to marry another
man.
Her first husband may remarry her with a new contract, if they both
choose that option. If he does, and he then again divorces her, he may
take her back her within the three menstrual periods, and this will be
two divorces and returns. After two divorces and returns, if he
divorces her a third time this is called the final and separating
divorce wherein they are not allowed to remarry unless she waits the
specified time of three menstrual cycles and then freely marries a
different man with no intention of availing herself to this means in
order to be able to lawfully marry her previous husband . If, for any
reason, she becomes divorced from that man, only then, and on the
condition that no shady pre-arranged dealings were made to circumvent
this rule, canshe re-marry her first husband. All these measures are
designed to help protect the family and sanctity of the marriage bond,
and the rights of the man and the woman. The waiting period isto
determine that she is free from pregnancy. In case of pregnancy, the
woman has to wait until after delivery before she marries a second
husband.
Divorce is ultimately allowed in Islam to escape from any harm caused
by the irreconcilable differences. It may become necessary in certain
cases. There are strict rules about divorce to protect the interests
and rights of the parties involved: the husband, wife and children.
Someof them have been mentioned above. Divorce might be forbidden in
the case where it would not solve the problem andcause undue harm to
one of the two marriage partners, without achieving a needed benefit.
Islamic jurisprudence obligates that in order to avoid divorce,
solutions should be sought whencritical disputes and differences occur
between husband and wife; Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious
Qur'an:
(And if a women fears cruelty or desertion from her husband, there is
no sin on both of them if they make terms of peace between themselves;
and makingpeace is better.)
[4:128]
Allah, the Exalted, also says:
(If you fear a breach between them appoint two arbitrators, one from
his family and the otherfrom her family: if the two of them both wish
for correction, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is
Omniscient and Well-Acquainted with all things.)
[4:35]
One of the most natural and logical ways to help maintain a successful
marriage is to let the man have more control over the divorce process
than the woman because it is the man who is financially obliged to
take care of his wife, household and family, and has ultimate
responsibility oftheir welfare. Therefore, he must rationally assess
the situation, grave consequences, and huge financial and emotional
loss that will result from a divorce. The husband will lose the dowry
he spent for the marriage, and will have to pay the alimony and
childsupport, as well as any newly acquired expenses from a new
marriage on top of that. Thus, with all these considerations, he will
not act just out of quick anger, fickleness or passing emotion.
A man is more capable - at least theoretically - of controlling his
flitting emotions and personal reactions when upset about the smaller
issues in life, especially in terms of disputes with his wife. Divorce
should never be a quick reaction for some suffering,
misunderstandings, or differences of viewpoints, but only as a last
resort and final solution when life becomes dangerously problematic
and intolerable, wherein both spouse are afraid that they will not be
able to abide by the limits set by Allah and His Prophet about
respectable behavior with one another.
Islamic jurisprudence permits thewife to have her marriage nullified
upon her request if the husband abuses her physically or verbally. She
is also entitled to have the marriage nullified for the following
general reasons:
1.
if the husband is impotent and cannot perform his marital duties,
2.
or if the husband for any reason, refuses to have sexual relations
with his wife and fulfill her lawful needs,
3.
or is afflicted with a disabling terminal illness after the marriage,
4.
or contracts any type of venereal or reproductive disease that may
harm the wifeor make her lose her desire to be with her husband. Thus,
we see that the woman is given the right to seek separation from her
husband for legitimate reasons in many situations, exactly as the man
has the right to seek divorce. If a wife reaches the extreme limits of
patience and abhors her husband, feeling that life is unbearable, then
she has the right to divorce. This form of divorce is called
annulment, or "Khula" , wherein she pays compensation by returning her
dowry or some other property. A competent Muslim judge will look into
the individual case if the husband refuses to accept the wife's
request and if the request is considered sound and valid, will pass a
judgment in favor of the woman. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

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