total agreement of the woman concerned.
The Prophet of Allah said (Peace be upon Him):
An "ayyim" (a divorcee or a widow) must not be wedded unless she is
asked, and gives herapproval. And a virgin must not be wedded unless
she is consulted."
It was asked: "O messenger of Allah, How is her permission?"
He said: "If she remains silent."
[Bukhari #4843 & Muslim #1419]
If a woman is coerced into accepting an undesired marriage,she is
entitled to present her casebefore a Muslim judge to seek annulment. A
woman by the name of al-Khansa bint Khadam, who had been previously
married(and was now divorced or widowed), came complaining to the
Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) that her father had forced her
to marry a person she despised. He disapproved and invalidated
it.(Reported by Bukhari #6546)
Another requirement is that she does not give herself in marriage to
anyone without guardianship. Her father, or in case he is not alive,
her grandfather, paternal uncle, brother or even her mature son, or
the ruler of the State, must act as her guardian inthis affair to
assure her rights areprotected and to sign the marriage contract along
with hersignature. His role is to make sure that the groom is sincere
and of standard, that she has a proper dowry, and that two witnesses
testify to the contract which she willfully accepts. All these
measures are to protect her rights and the sanctity of marriage.
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) made this perfectly clear
when he said:
"There is no marriage without a guardian."
[Abu Dawood #2058 & Tirmidhi#1101 and verified]
And in another version:
"There is no marriage without a guardian, and the ruler is the
guardian for those who have no guardian." [Ahmad #2260 & Ibn Majah
#1889 and verified ]
Therefore, if she elopes and marries herself, this marriage is
considered unlawful, as the Prophet (Peace be upon Him) declared:
"Any woman who marries without the consent of her guardian, then her
marriage is nullified, then her marriage is nullified, then her
marriage is nullified, and if he has consummated the marriage then she
must receive a dowry from him for what he has made lawful of her
private parts, and if they fall into dispute then the ruler is the
guardian for those who have no guardian."
[Abu Dawood #2083 & Tirmidhi#1102 and verified]
As mentioned above in the rights of daughters, whether a virgin or
otherwise, the right of a woman is to accept or reject any marriage
offer of her own free will. The institution of guardianship is only to
protect her interests. The fact that the ruler or governor becomes her
legal guardian to assure that all is in order and that no criminal
injustice is perpetrated reinforcesthe sacredness of the marriage
contract and the sanctity of her rights in Islam.
Since the woman remains in a position of natural weakness, Islamic
jurisprudence lays down principles and laws to protect herinterests
and welfare and preserve her rights. The father, the mother and other
concerned relatives, if need be, help select the right and most
suitable husband for her, since all seek her happiness and none wish
her to be victim of a failed marriage. The goal of marriage is to
establish an everlasting relationship between a male and a female and
a loving and beneficial home for the children, not mere gratification
of certain desires. Since women are, in general, more emotional than
men and more easily affected andtempted with appearances ratherthan
the deeper realities, Islamic jurisprudence gives the right to the
guardian to refuse and reject proposals if the suitor is not deemed a
sound and sincere match.
Male guardianship in this case is only natural given their role of
authority and responsibility. Moreover, it cannot be denied that men,
being of the same gender, have a better ability to perceive qualities
of other men incertain areas, and are more capable of finding those
characteristics of a man that suit his daughter or the woman under his
responsibility of guardianship. Of course he seeks counsel of the wife
and other concerned females in the processof selection of the
bridegroom. If an appropriate man proposed formarriage and the
guardian refused for no valid reason, then the guardianship can be
contested in the court of law. Theguardianship is then given to the
nearest responsible male relative of the woman, or, in case she hasno
responsible male relatives, theMuslim Judge assumes guardianship.
In the final analysis, the true measurement of a suitable matchin
marriage is the statement of the Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him):
"If a person comes to you to propose a marriage and you are pleased
with his religion and morals, then marry him. If you fail to do so,
great affliction will take place on earth, and corruption will be
widespread."
[Tirmidhi #1085 and verified ]
A man with a sound and good understanding of his Islamic commitment,
with good moral standards will honor his wife anddignify her, and
treat her justly with decency even if he does not love her
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