not my aim here. It's just that yesterday I realized I will never be
beside you any more.
I will never kiss the lips that I love so much, I'll never caress your
hair as I used to. Yes, my whole world collapsed yesterday. Because my
whole world was you……
I can't…, oh God, I still can't accept the thought that you won't be
next tome. I know that I made mistakes. I did awfully many foolish
things. I shouldn't have gone away. I shouldn't have left you – the
man of my life, just when I've found you. I wanted to earn that money,
so that it would be easier…or I thought it would be…..If Ihad known
then how wrong I was, if I had realized that money wasn't everything.
Moneycan't make me happy when you are not beside me.
I lost you….I just can't believe that you are no longer part of my
life, that you are no longer "my man", that we won't stick the so
dreamt "babyfactory" on the bedroom door.
You know…this time I was determined to stop. Ihad decided for sure to
come back and start leading a life in my own country and I wanted to
make it with you. When I planned on returning I told everybody that
I'm trying to get back the "man of my life" ….but it wasn't that
simple.
I couln't understand you before, now you can't understand me. You
couldn't understand that I wanted to abandon everything that I had
justto be with you. I was ready to leave my friends, the life in my
town, the great job that Iwill never have again – nothing interested
me more than being with you. You told me that youweren't ready, not at
thatmoment. But you were before. Why the hell didn't you just tell me
that you don't love me as you used to, that you are afraid to run the
risk of being with me again, that I don't have the right to rush into
your life every time that the impulse takes me. Or that you are
already tired of us playing cat and dog…..although you still love me.
I know it because I saw it in your eyes. They always give you away.
You know, what hurt me the most was that you didn't have the courage
to tell me that you are afraid and it's easier to lead your apathetic
life hiding behind work. Or you no longer love me, orat least not as
much as before. I would have understood. We are grown up people after
all….
I will always love you but I'll never let you in my lifeagain.
I don't know how I'll live without you…..I'm going to learn this from
now on. I wish you all the happiness with her. I hope she can give you
at least half of what I gave you. Although, no one will love you the
way I did. As trivial as it may sound. I thank you, you who read this.
I just wanted to unburden my heart somewhere nobody will recognize me.
I want to give you a piece of advice, the one that my father kept
telling me for a long time:"It's better to learn from the mistakes of
others, not from your own."
Do not kill your love! Do not think that you can change it for money,
shiny cars, or companies that are more important than your own life.
Neverleave the person you love, never betray him/her, fight for
his/herlove.
LOVE IS EVERYTHING PEOPLE! PLEASE DON'T LOOSE IT!!!
FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL, BUT NEVER LOOSE IT!
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