Responsibilities of parents

Parents' responsibilities for the care and upbringing of their
children are mentioned in severalverses of the Quran, as well as in
the Hadeeth.
Allaah Almighty Says (what means ( : "O you who have believed, protect
yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and
stones… " [Quran 66:6]
How do we ward off that fire from our families? We need to show to
them the right way and to teach them the difference between right and
wrong. An excellent example of this is foundin the words of Luqmaan to
his son, related in the Quran, where he admonishes him:
1. Not to ascribe divine powers toanything other than Allaah.
2. To be good and kind to parents.
3. To obey parents unless they command what is wrong.
4. To understand that all our deeds, however minor, are recorded and
will be brought to light.
5. To be constant in prayer.
6. To enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.
7. To bear what befalls him with patience.
8. To avoid pride, arrogance and boastfulness.
9. To be modest in manner and speech.
This is a model example of parental responsibility and advice. Luqmaan
guides his own son on the path to paradise with simple but memorable
words.
Children are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be held
accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgment. Parents are
essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and
essential religious teachings of their children.
If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the
consequences on the Day of Judgment. The children will become better
citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this
life, and in the Hereafter.
Allaah, Almighty Says (what means): "And those who believedand whose
descendants followedthem in faith – We will join with them their
descendants, and We will not deprive them of anythingof their deeds.
Every person, for what he earned, is retained... " [Quran 52:21]
This parental responsibility belongs not only to the father. The
Prophet is reported to have said: "Take care! Each of you is a
shepherd and each of you shall be asked concerning his flock; a leader
is a shepherd of hispeople, and he shall be asked concerning his
flock; and a man isa shepherd of the people of his house, and he shall
be asked concerning his flock; and a woman is a shepherd of the house
of her husband and over their children, and she shall be asked
concerning them." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Indeed the mother's role may be even greater: while the children are
young they are very close to her and dependent upon her, andthey spend
more time with her than with anyone else. There is an Arabic saying:
"The mother is the first school" . She may be a good school, an
indifferent or even a bad school. She may even be unaware that she is
serving asa role model in her behavior, and her attitudes. Every
mother should be conscious of her role and do her best to make it
beneficial for the development of her children as they set out on the
journey of life.
Parental care and guidance are fundamental to child upbringing. Some
parents nowadays become so preoccupied with their jobs or with making
money or with theirsocial lives that children are oftenneglected. They
may be ignored or left for hours with the television or computer or
they may be sent to day-care centers at a very early age to be cared
for in groups by other people.
The parents' right to respect from their children is dependent upon
the children's right to loving care and guidance of their parents.
It is related that a man once came to 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, the
second Khaleefah (Caliph) of Islam complaining of his sons'
disobedience to him. 'Umar summoned the boy and spoke of his
disobedience to his father andhis neglect of his rights. The boy
replied: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen (Prince of believers)! Hasn't a child
rights over his father?"
"Certainly", replied 'Umar.
"What are they, Ameer al-Mu'mineen?"
"That he should choose his mother, give him a good name and teach him
the Book (the Quran)."
"O Ameer al-Mu'mineen! My fatherdid nothing of this. My mother was a
Magian (fire worshipper). He gave me the name of Julalaan (meaning
dung beetle or scarab) and he did not teach me a single letter of the
Quran."
Turning to the father, 'Umar said: "You have come to me to complain
about the disobedienceof your son. You have failed in your duty to him
before he has failed in his duty to you; you havedone wrong to him
before he haswronged you."
Education and bringing up in Islam
Allaah Almighty Says (what means): "This day I have perfected for you
your religion and completed My favor upon youand have approved for you
Islam as religion... " [Quran 5: 3]
Education is the process by whichchildren are nurtured as they grow up
to develop the Islamic worldview and the Islamic virtues.
Education means to look after, tonurture, to nourish, to help growand
flourish. It implies certain sensitivity towards the child under your
care, his emotional and physical needs and capacities. It implies the
ability toinspire confidence. It implies the courage to allow and
promote creativity and innovation. It implies the ability to trust and
not to stifle, to be firm when needed and even to impose sanctions
when necessary.
The starting point for education is the example of parents. Small
children take their parents as models. If parents are lazy and
careless, the children will also take laziness and carelessness as
normal. If they tell lies, children will regard lying as normal and
acceptable. The same applies to smoking, drinking, rude manners,
swearing and all other bad habits. There is no way parents can
motivate their children to practice the Islamic virtues if they
themselves do not respect the values and try to practice them also. As
children grow up, they will only perceive the inconsistency or even
hypocrisy in their parents' approach.
It is important not to crush a child's spirit and joy about life by
terrorizing him/her, whether physically or psychologically. Children
must play. It is the way they learn, and is not in itself something
bad. Parents should give the child opportunities to play and to
experience the excitement of exploration, of learning and of growing
up.
At the same time, parents shouldteach children Islamic manners and
etiquette in accordance with the beautiful example of the Prophet .
Such habits include truthfulness and honesty, gentleness, politeness,
consideration for others, helpfulness, cleanliness and tidiness.
They also include:
1. Time management and doing things at the right time.
2. Physical exercise for fitness.
3. Mental exercise and developingan appetite for knowledge,
understanding and skills.
4. Learning to read and recite the Quran from an early age when the
child's memory finds it easy.
5. Development of regular performance of Prayer between the ages of 7 and 10.
6. Taking on responsibilities in the family.
7. Taking on responsibilities in the wider community as children grow up.
Above all, correct education should ensure that children develop a
love for Islam, a love for Allaah and His Prophet and that they
develop a feeling ofpride in being Muslim and willingness to strive
for the good of others. They need to realize the benefits of Islam,
the foundations on which it is based and their need for Islam. They
need to value Islam and live by Islamic values.
It is the responsibility of the parents to experiment with various
ways of achieving those goals.
Islamic education and Muslim schools
If parents are to get the best results for their children in Muslim
schools, they must know what the Muslim school is trying to do.
Parents need to understand that while the schoolbasically may be
following a National Curriculum (which in some countries may be
compulsory), the teaching approach is expected to be holistic.
Therefore it is not just a matter of teaching Islamic Studies, Quran
and Arabic under the same roof as Arts and Sciences, but of developing
an integrated Islamic perspective onall forms of knowledge right
across the curriculum. At the same time, the school is trying
tocultivate good attitudes, behaviorand manners in accordance with the
teachings of Islam.
'Aishah is reported to have said of the Prophet that: "His behavior
was the Quran (in practice)". [Ahmad] To take the Prophet as a
"beautiful example" means not just to imitate his outward actions or
practices but also to base our own motivation and actions on the Quran
as he did, in a way thatis appropriate to the place and time in which
we happen to live.
The approach of a modern Muslim School, which may be located in a
modern "secular" or non-Islamic type of environment, cannot be like
that of Islamic education of the recent past, when teaching relied
much on repetition and memorization anduncritical acceptance of the
teachers' word. The Islamic teaching must relate with the society in
which the pupils live, with the state of modern knowledge and with the
beliefs of other people (probably the majority) in the country where
the school is located. If Muslim children are to grow up as witnesses
to the truth in a non-Muslim society, they need to understand that
society and to develop an objective and critical approach, so that
they can appreciate whatever is good in it,avoid its evils and reach
out to the non-Muslims, presenting the truths of Islam in a way they
can understand Islam and relate to it.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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