- Not satisfying his need for success. It was narrated that 'Ali (may
Allaah be pleased with him) said: "I never heard the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying 'May my
father andmother be sacrificed for you' to anyone, except Sa'd, to
whom I heard himsay, 'Shoot, may my fatherand mother be sacrificed for
you!' And I think that was on the day of Uhud." (Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, no. 6184; Muslim, no. 2411). This shows that parents
should encouragetheir children no matter what the level of quality of
their performance, so that they will motivated to do even better.
- Going to extremes in physical punishment and dealing harshly with
them. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Whoeveris deprived of gentleness is deprived of all
goodness." (Narrated by Muslim, no. 2292).
- Difficult living conditionswhich lead the parents to vent their
anger on their children - such as a lack ofharmony between the
spouses, or the mother's work, or not being happy at work. The
Messenger ofAllaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"The strong man is not the onewho can wrestle another to the ground,
rather the strong man is the one who can control himself at times of
anger." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 6116).
Finally, we must point outthat this does not mean that the child
should never be afraid. Fear is necessary in some cases, because it is
essential to the child's survival. He must fear Allaah, and fear the
harm that people maydo, and fear committing sin, etc. That should be a
natural kind of fear, not too great or too small.
From Tanshiy'at al-Fataat al-Muslimah, p. 159, by Hanaan 'Atiyah
al-Toori al-Juhani.
--
- - - - - - -