It was the spring of 2001 in Austin, Texas. The smell of spring break
was in the air, but none of my fraternity brothers had thecash or the
motivation to put together a trip. So we pooled what was left of our
brain cells and planned a road trip to Nuevo Laredo.
You will not believe what they do with donkeys in Mexico
There were 15 of us--14 guys and a girlfriend (you know the type of
girl who won't let the guy go anywhere without her). We called up a
Motel 6 in Laredo, about three hours south of Austin, and made
reservations for a Saturday, the weekend before UT's spring break.
That fateful Saturday around noon we gathered in the courtyard of our
house, coolers and knapsacks in hand, and headed towards the border.
On our journey at first, there were mostly pastures and then came the
desert. Finally, we got to Laredo and settled in before crossing the
Rio Grande.
Our first stop was the gringo-laden Senor Frogs. We had a couple of
drinks there, but it was early, around 9 pm, and no one was out yet.
And we needed a little more excitement than a bar all the American
high-schoolers go to.
So we made a decision that would change us all forever--we were headed
to "Boystown.""Boystown," 6 or 7 miles deep into Mexico, is just a
string of whorehouses andseedy bars. But we didn't care at the time,
we wanted to see the mythical donkey show. Myidiot friend got to
talking with one of the locals outside of Senor Frogs who promised us
that a ride, in three separate horse carriages, would be cheaper than
a cab--just not necessarily safer.
So we hopped into these carriages, and proceeded south. Not more than
a minute into the ride, the carriages split up. When my carriage
reached the slums, we were alone in the dark. The streets were dark,
because they had no electricity, and we had theone female, a busty
blonde, riding with us. We were scared beyond belief.I thought for
sure we were goners. The girl was crying, stray dogs were chasing us
and the locals (who we couldn't see due to the darkness) were yelling
and whooping it up from the sidewalks. Butour driver assured us we
would reunite with our friends in Boystown soon.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was probablyonly like 20
minutes, we turned down a narrow street, lit on both sides, that was
unmistakably ourdestination. We paid our driver, and marched into the
first doorway to find our missing compadres. We found 1/3 of our group
sitting around a table; the other group hadn't arrived yet. Let me
tell you, that I was never happier in my life to see my dumb ass
friends. We all hugged in celebration of our survival when the rest of
our group arrived intact.
Now we were ready to start partying. We had been so happy to see
eachother that we didn't even realize we were drinking beer in a
whorehouse. Mexican ladies, ranging from somewhat cute to old and fat,
were walking around struttin' their stuff.We drank beer there for a
while, and I'm glad to say none of my friends accepted the offers
to"fucky."
After a few more drinks, we ventured out in search of the donkey show.
Outside of the whorehouse, to our left, was a donkey , next to a large
yellow wall that read "Donkey Show" with an arrow pointing to the door
of the bar next door.
I shit you not.
So we went inside. It was basically the same as the first place, but
it was moreof a strip club than a whorehouse. We were all sitting
around drinking beer, trading horse carriage stories, and getting
restless for entertainment. Soon, a stripper got up on stage (which
was about a foot off the floor in the middle of the room) and started
doing her thing. Then a second stripper, then a third…
I kinda felt sorry for the third stripper, because none of my friends
were throwing any bills down, and there weren't very many other people
there. So I whipped out a dollar and waved it in the air. She saw it
and sauntered over to me, buck naked, and turned around. I didn't know
what to do, so I put it in the only placethat was presented to me--her
butt crack. Now my friends will tell you I wrapped the bill around my
finger and crammed it up her poop shoot.
{contineue topic 2}
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