else can answer them. Consider the words of the Prophet Ya'qub
(alayhis-salam, peace be upon him) when his son Yusuf (as) was
secretly thrown into a well by his brothers. They then reported to
their father that Yusuf had been killed by a wolf.
And he turned away fromthem and said, "Oh, my sorrow over Yusuf," and
his eyes became white from grief, and he fell into silent melancholy.
They said, "By Allah , you will not cease remembering Yusuf until you
become fatally ill or become of those who perish."
He said, " I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and
I knowfrom Allah that which you do not know.
- Quran, Surat Yusuf, 12:84-86
"I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah…"
When you feel stuck, when you feel that no one understands your
situation,when you're in pain and you can't even imagine a solution,
only Allah has the answers. You can't see a way forward, but He can.
You don't see your own worth, but He does. You can't figure out the
road to happiness, but He can show you.
I remember a night in Arizona when I was twentysix years old. I lay on
a cot in a small, frigid cell. There was snow outside and I had only a
thin blanket. As I often did, I put on all my clothing in layers –
three pants, three shirts, an armyjacket and a pair of boots –and
still I kept waking up shivering and shaking. Yet, even more than the
physical discomfort, my spirit was tired. I had mademistakes in my
youth and had been locked up for almost five years. I had become hard
mentally and physically, but my heart was full of sorrow. I lay there
that night and I thought, "I have nothing inlife. I have accomplished
nothing. I have no university degree, no wife, no children, and not
even my freedom."
That was a bad time. But I had my faith, and I used to weep to Allah,
asking Him to have mercy on me. I think I gave up on myself for a
while, but I never gave up on Allah. It would not even have occurred
to me to do so. I did cry to Him sometimes saying, "Why, Allah? Why?
Why am I here, suffering like this?" But it wasn't despair,only
confusion. In my heartI knew that He heard me and that an answer would
come.
Shortly after that I receiveda letter from the parole board granting
me early release. I had previously been told very clearly that Iwas
not eligible. It was entirely unexpected, and if you are familiar with
the American penal system, miraculous. But for Allah, nothing is
impossible or even difficult.
Within a few months I was free. I found a job a week after my
release, and I excelled. I began writing, sitting at my desk every
night after work and disciplining myself to work on poetry, stories
and articles. Eventually I went back to school and began anew career,
got married, bought a beautiful house, and one day had a child…
What can I say except Alhamdulillah! SubhanAllah! What can I doexcept
weep in gratitude for these blessings that I did nothing to earn, but
were given to me by my Lord who loves me and cares about me, and wants
good for me. I am so deeply touched and movedby the way Allah has
answered my prayers from the depths of darkness. If I did anything to
merit His blessings, perhaps it was only that I directed my pleas to
Him. I knew that no one else could help me.
This is a very emotional post for me to write. I want every Muslim to
havethis sense of Allah as their friend, as someone who cares for them
deeply. I want to put that awareness into your heart like a gift.
When I was in that cell I used to pray the same dua'over and over,
begging Allah repeatedly. If I had made such pleas to a human being
they would have stopped hearing me long ago. When we're needy with
people it pushes them away, but when we're needy with Allah He comes
closer to us! He never tires of answering our need and forgiving us./
--
:-> :->
No comments:
Post a Comment