How 2 manage yourself, - How to stop thinking about something that bothers you

Why you can't get that out of your head
Do you remember that annoying word someone said to you that remained
in your head for days?
Do you remember that situation that kept replaying itself inside your
head over and over?
I am pretty sure it happened to you before that a bad thing happened
to you then you kept thinking about it all day. I am pretty sure you
also noticed that no matter how strongly you try to push that thought
away it always keeps coming back to you.
In my previous article Where do emotions come from?i said that
emotions always have a purpose. Your mind doesn't send you emotions to
bother you but it sends you emotions to motivate you to take important
actions.
When your mind keeps repeating the same situation over and over it's
simply trying to tell you that you need to handle what happened
properly so that the bad emotions go away.
No you might be asking yourself, how can you handle something that
already happened in the past?
The good news is that you can still do that well, let me tell you how
you can do it.
How to stop thinking about something that bothers you
When your mind keeps reminding you of the same thing over and over
then it wants one or both of the following things done:
*.1) Taking the right action immediately
*.2) Making sure this situation will never happen again
Now for the sake of simplicity let's suppose that this bad situation
was that someone humiliated you in the presence of others.
The first thing your mind wants you to do in such a case is to reach
out to that person and to assertively express your discontent with
their actions. See how to be assertive.
But what if you can't reach that person again?
Why is your mind reminding you of the situation over and over?
In such a case your mind just wants a promise that this situation
won't be repeated again.
This promise can't be the form of spoken words for you need serious
actions to back your promise. In such a case starting right away to
learn how to respond assertively to people who bully you will send
your subconscious mind a signal telling it that you are serious.
In my book The 5 Minute Happiness Formulai said that a promise alone
can help you change your mood instantly provided that your
subconscious mind trusts you. This is why learning how to make your
subconscious mind trust you is a very important requirement for
changing your mood instantly.
Why you must move
Your subconscious mind will never leave you alone before you resolve
the conflict that took place. The reason it keeps sending you those
images over and over is that it demands an action.
If you did the horrible advice of keeping yourself busythen your bad
mood won't change and the bad situation won't leave your mind.
The only way out of this problem is to take the proper action. Once
that is done the memory will leave your brain and the bad feelings
will stop.

We Got Lucky: My Lifewith Tom Petty

Silas House remembers Tom Petty: "We embraced strangers and threw our
heads back and sang. This was a kind of church, too, I thought. A room
full of love in a way I'd never experienced before."

Comedy

அமலா : அவங்க ரெண்டு பேருக்குள்ளே என்ன சண்டை.
:
விமலா : அவங்களுக்குள்ளே ஆயிரம் இருக்கும்.
:
அமலா : அப்ப ஆளுக்கு ஐநூறா பிரிச்சுக்க வேண்டியதுதானே!

Rulings on Marriage, - * Is artificial insemination regarded as taking back a wife who is revocably divorced?

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Editor,Publisher NAJIMUDEEN.M-INAIA

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Is the process of having test-tube babies or artificial insemination regarded as taking back a wife who has been divorced once? Artificial insemination or test-tube babies, as you know, involves taking an egg from the woman laproscopically, and taking semen from the man by means of masturbation, then sending them to the lab, where the semen is added to the woman’s egg in a test-tube. Can this process be regarded as taking back the wife, especially since they will return the egg, after fertilisation, to the woman’s uterus by means of another laparoscopic procedure? If pregnancy occurs, will her ‘iddah last until she gives birth, or is this regarded as taking her back?
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There are several problems with artificial insemination, and taking this matter lightly leads to serious negative consequences. It is essential for both partners to be cautious with regard to this matter and to ensure that this procedure is done by trustworthy medical professionals.
Please see the answer to question no. 3474
Secondly:
The scholars differed concerning taking back the wife when her ‘iddah has not yet ended: is that accomplished just by doing the deed, or is it essential to speak words to that effect, as at the beginning of marriage?
It says inal-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(22/9-12):
The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that taking back the wife is valid if words are uttered to that effect, such as if he says to his (revocably) divorced wife before the ‘iddah ends, “I take you back” or any other words to that effect.
With regard to taking back the wife by means of actions:
The Hanafis are of the view that intercourse and things that precede it are valid for taking the wife back. The Maalikis are of the view that taking the wife back is valid in the form of actions such as intercourse and things that precede it, on condition that the husband intends by these actions to take his wife back.
According to the Shaafa‘is, taking back the wife in the form of actions is not valid in any circumstances, whether it is done by intercourse or the things that precede it, and whether or not the action is accompanied by the husband’s intention to take her back.
The Hanbalis differentiated between intercourse and the things that precede it, with regard to the validity of taking the wife back. In their view, taking the wife back in the form of intercourse is valid, but not in the form of things that precede intercourse.
End quote.
The most correct scholarly opinion concerning this matter is that taking the wife back may be done by actions, if the intention is to take her back. However, if he does not intend to take her back, then that cannot be done merely by actions.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
He may take her back by uttering words, so he may say: I take my wife back. Or he may take her back by means of actions, so he may have intercourse with her with the intention of taking her back.
End quote fromFataawa Islamiyyah, 3/423
See also the answer to question no. 101702
Thirdly:
Based on the above, if the husband intends to take his wife back, then it is permissible for them to undergo artificial insemination, and it is sufficient for them to go ahead with this procedure, if the husband intends thereby to take his wife back. It is not stipulated that he should take her back by uttering words, although that is preferable and more on the safe side.
If he has taken his wife back by his words or by his actions accompanied by the intention, then her ‘iddah has ended, because she is no longer regarded as divorced; rather she has gone back to being truly married. So there is no need to consider her ‘iddah or how it will end, unless he divorces her again.
But if he did not intend to take his wife back, it is not permissible for him to go ahead with artificial insemination with her when she is divorced from him, because artificial insemination is only permissible with one’s wife, and merely doing artificial insemination without the intention of taking her back does not constitute taking her back.
And Allah knows best.