Saturday, January 16, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * What is the ruling on someone who causes trouble between an engaged couple so that he will call it off and she can snag him?

There is a woman who caused trouble between two people who were about
to get married. She had intervened to resolve a problem between them,
but she transmitted bad talk between them, saying that each of them
had said bad things about the other. So they split up and there was a
trade of insults and bad talk between them because of the words that
had been falsely transmitted between them.
Then the young man went and proposed to the girl who had caused
trouble between him and the first girl whom he had wanted to marry.
What is the ruling before Allah? Will there come a day when this man
will realise that he unfairly mistreated the first girl or not?
Published Date: 2015-04-07
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Causing trouble between Muslims is a major sin that corrupts
intentions in people's hearts, spoils relationships between people,
and spreads mischief in the land.
It says inal-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah(5/291):
It is prohibited to cause trouble and spoil relationships among
Muslims, for two reasons:
1. in order to preserve unity among the Muslims
2. out of respect for their dignity, because Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):"And hold fast, all of
you together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. this Qur'an), and be not
divided among yourselves" [Aal 'Imraan 3:103].
Hence reconciling between people is one of the best of good deeds, and
causing division among people is one of the gravest of major sins, as
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Shall I
not tell you of something that is better than fasting, prayer and
giving charity? " They said: Yes indeed. He said: "Reconciling between
people, for causing division among people is the 'shaver' (that shaves
one of religious commitment)."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2509); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
inSaheeh al-Jaami'(2595).
Hence the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade
seeking out the faults of the Muslims, and he forbade backbiting,
malicious gossip, suspicion, mutual hatred, mutual envy and everything
that may lead to causing trouble among Muslims. End quote.
This prohibition is emphasised if causing trouble between people is
done to spoil that which could have been the means of bringing them
together, instilling love between them and uniting them, such as
marriage.
Secondly:
Causing trouble between people usually involves telling lies,
backbiting, malicious gossip and slander, all of which are major sins.
Please see the answers to questions no. 23328, 101776and 99554for
information on the negative impact of these blameworthy
characteristics and how to repent from them.
Thirdly:
It is haraam for a Muslim woman to cause trouble between a man and his
fiancée so that she may snag him for herself, for this comes under the
heading of bad conduct and blameworthy characteristics. Al-Bukhaari
(6601) and Muslim (1408) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "A man should not propose marriage to a woman to whom
his brother has already proposed and he should not outbid his brother.
A man should not marry a woman if he is already married to her
paternal aunt or maternal aunt. A woman should not ask for her sister
to be divorced so as to deprive her of what is rightfully hers and so
that she may be married in her stead; rather she will have what Allah
has decreed for her."
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What this hadith means is that it is prohibited for a non-mahram woman
to ask a man to divorce his wife and marry her instead, so that she
gains the maintenance, kind treatment, intimacy and so on that
belonged to the divorced woman.
End quote fromSharh Saheeh Muslim(9/193)
Al-Haafiz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This is quoted as evidence for the prohibition on a woman proposing to
a man who has already proposed to another woman. This hadith makes the
ruling concerning men the same as the ruling concerning women with
regard to proposing marriage. The scenario is: a woman proposes to a
man, and he responds to that proposal, then another woman comes and
encourages him to marry her, and tries to make him lose interest in
the one who came before her, whom he has already agreed to marry.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(9/200)
Fourthly:
The issue does not have to do with whether all the parties involved in
this issue know what is happening or not, because worldly matters may
be hidden. But on the Day when all secrets will be exposed before the
Lord of the Worlds, and what was hidden in people's hearts becomes
manifest, what answer will those who caused trouble and spread
malicious gossip have before Allah?
What the woman who has done this must do is hasten to repent, and part
of complete repentance is putting right that which she has spoiled and
admitting to each party what she said about the other, so that they
will understand the situation, then if they want to they can get back
together and go ahead with their marriage, or if they want to they can
remain as they are now.
If it is too difficult to state what really happened, then that can be
done by way of hinting or via a third party, striving to set things
straight and explain what really happened.
And Allah knows best.

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