Share I am a Muslim girl, praise be to Allah, and I am Turkish. I have been married for 16 years, but I am facing a problem in my marriage which is that I do not like to have sex with my husband and I am reluctant to have intercourse with him. We have intercourse every two months, and we have four children. This problem is because I do not like intimacy with men; I love women and I love women’s bodies. But despite that I do not want to get divorced from my husband because he loves me very much and we have four children. But this matter is beyond my control. In order to overcome this problem my husband started to wear women’s clothing for me before going to bed, and in fact this approach has been successful and I found myself attracted to him and we have started engaging in sexual intimacy more than once a week. But my husband does not wear these clothes outside the house; rather he only wears it at home. Praise be to Allah, we are now happy and we are living a normal life and enjoying life. But we do not know what is the ruling on my husband wearing women’s clothes; is it halaal or haraam? Please advise me, may Allah reward you.
Praise be to Allah.
Before we discuss the Islamic ruling on what your husband is doing, it is essential to advise you to get treatment, because what you have mentioned about liking other women and being provoked by them is a psychological illness. You should not hesitate to seek treatment for it and there is nothing better than treating it by increasing your faith and fear of Allah, and striving to overcome your nafs, whilst constantly seeking refuge with Allah from the Shaytaan and his tricks, traps, plots and whispers. There is nothing wrong with going to a female psychologist who is trustworthy in terms of her religious commitment and knowledge, to help you find a remedy for your illness.
With regard to what your husband is doing, it is undoubtedly haraam because it is imitating women. This is like the one who says: Treat me with that which was the cause of the disease.
It is narrated in saheeh reports that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed men who imitate women, which includes imitating them in their dress.
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed men who imitate women and women who imitate men.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5435
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed men who wear women’s clothing and women who wear men’s clothing.
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4098; classed as saheeh by an-Nawawi inal-Majmoo‘, 4/469, and by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood
This sin is not excused by the fact that this is done in privacy away from where people can see it, because just by wearing women’s clothing he is incurring sin, even if he does that when he is alone.
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
What does the shaykh say about one who wears women’s clothing in private?
They replied:
It is narrated in a saheeh report that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “May Allah curse women who imitate men and men who imitate women.” According to another version, “May Allah curse effeminate men and masculinised women.”
A man’s wearing women’s clothing is included in this prohibition. So this action is forbidden even if it is done in privacy, because of the general meaning of the text that prohibits it.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh, Shaykh ‘Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 24/94, 95
What you have to do is hasten to seek treatment for the sickness that you are suffering. What you are asking of your husband is contrary to Islam and sound human nature, and it is not permissible for him to respond to your request. He has to stop wearing women’s clothing.
And Allah knows best.
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