For children, - Hereafter in Islam (Dream Interpretation): Real Life Story(Preparing for the Hereafter)

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Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him.
The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it and sat on a branch. He looked down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him.
The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and eating the branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The branch would fall on the ground very soon.
The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big black snake had come and settled directly under him. The snake opened its mouth right under the man so that he will fall into it.
The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold on to. He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey were falling from it.
The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out and tasted one of the fallen drops of honey. The honey was amazing in taste. So, he wanted to taste another drop. As he did, he got lost into the sweetness of the honey.
Meanwhile, he forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the lion on the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him.
After a while, he woke up from his sleep.
To get the meaning behind this dream, the man went to a pious scholar of Islam. The Islamic scholar who interpret the dream said, the lion you saw is your death. It always chases you and goes wherever you go.
The two rats, one black and one white, are the night and the day. Black one is the night and the white one is the day. They circle around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take you closer to death.
The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It's there, just waiting for you to fall into it.
The honeycomb is this world and the sweet honey is the luxuries of this world. We like to taste a drop of the luxuries of this world but it's very sweet. Then we taste another drop and yet another.
Meanwhile, we get lost into it and we forget about our time, we forget about our death and we forget about our graves.
This Life is Material, and the Hereafter is Far Better and everlasting:
According to Islam, this life is very short and full of material things that can get in the way of our submission to Almighty Allah (SWT). It's not wrong to have these material possessions as long as we remember our obligations to Almighty Allah (SWT) and thank Him for those things. We shouldn't get preoccupied with this temporary worldly life and forget Hereafter.
It is narrated that Holy Prophet Muhammad (saww)has said: "Most intellectual of man is he remembers the death most."
It is also narrated that Holy Prophet Muhammad (saww) has said: "One who gains the love and grace of Allah (SWT), always end (Ajal) will be before his eyes and he will be always worried about his death. But the one who take Satan (Shaitan) as a friend and becomes Bad-Bakht. Shaitan overpowers him and indulge (Giraftaar) him in long long desires and them he never remember death."
The famous poet Longfellow calls human footprints sublime on the 'sands of time' while writer Margaret Mitchell declares generations will be 'gone with the wind'. The Ancient Greeks believed that the human race was like a bird, that came from a dark passage and flew away in another dark tunnel, with a momentary stay in a bright room, which they believed was our world.

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Family Issues, - The Ideal Muslim and His Wife Part 2

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...Part 1 continued... Let them listen to this hadith, those foolish husbands whose eyes flash with anger at their wives’ mistakes, when their food is a little late or not to their liking. Their poor wives may have genuine, pressing reasons for making these mistakes, but these husbands become angry without caring to know those reasons, on the basis of an incorrect understanding of the phrase “men areqawwamunover women”!
The true Muslim husband does not stop at showing kindness and generosity towards his wife, but he extends his respect and kindness towards her decent (female) friends. This is in accordance with the practice of the Prophet (S.A.W). ‘A’ishah narrated:
“An old woman came to the Prophet (S.A.W.) and he smiled at her, showed her respect, and asked her, ‘How are you? How have you been doing?’ She answered, ‘I am fine, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you, O Messenger of Allah.’” When she had left, ‘A’ishah said, “Why did you welcome this old woman so warmly, in a way that you do not welcome anyone else?” The Prophet (S.A.W.) replied, “She used to come and visit us when Khadijah was alive. Do you not know that honouring the ties of friendship is part of faith?” 15
A wife may become angry for any reason, and keep away from her husband, making him feel her anger. In this case, the Muslim husband responds with tolerance and kindness, based on his deep insight into the psychology and nature of woman, as the Prophet (S.A.W.) used to treat his wives whenever they were angry with him and kept away from him all day until night fell.
‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (R.A.A.) said: “We Quraysh used to have control over our women. When we came to Madinah we found a people whose women had control over them, and our women began to learn from their women. I used to live in al-‘Awali, among Banu Umayyah ibn Zayd. One day my wife was angry with me, and was arguing with me. I did not like this, but she told me, ‘Do you not like me arguing with you? By Allah (S.W.T), the wives of the Prophet (S.A.W.) argue with him. They get angry and keep away from him all day, until night falls!’ So I went to see afîah and asked her, ‘Do you argue with the Prophet (S.A.W)?’ She said, ‘Yes.’ I asked her, ‘Do you get angry and keep away from him all day until night falls?’ She said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘The one who does that is doomed to loss! Do you not fear the anger of Allah (S.W.T.) on the account of the anger of His Prophet? Soon you will be condemned! Do not argue with the Messenger of Allah, and do not ask him for anything. Ask me for whatever you need.’” (Bukhari, Muslim, al-Tirmidhi and al-Nisa’i) ‘Umar came to the Prophet (S.A.W.) and told him about what had happened in his house, and the conversation he had withSafîah, and the Prophet (S.A.W.) smiled.
The Muslim should develop this tolerant attitude, so that he will be following the example of the Prophet (S.A.W.) in his behavior and deeds. Then he will be living proof that Islam is the religion of a superior lifestyle; and that the misery, disintegration, confusion and anxiety that individuals, families and societies are suffering from are caused by man’s ignorance and misconceptions of the noble values promulgated by Islam. These are precious principles which, if adopted by the husband, would put an end to arguments and divisions in family life, and would bring peace, stability, happiness and security to the home.
One of the most successful husbands
Hence the smart Muslim husband is one of the most successful husbands ever, and the most beloved to a faithful, pure, righteous wife, because of his adherence to the guidance of Islam. He has a deep and compassionate understanding of her nature and psychology, and he directs her towards the straight path of Islam, which is in complete harmony with the true nature of mankind. He recognizes her inclinations, desires and moods, and tries to reconcile between them and the ideal life and behaviour he wants for her, while never forgetting for an instant that she has been created from a bent rib, and straightening a bent rib is impossible.
He understands his wife and respects her feelings
The true Muslim always understands his wife and respects her feelings. He does not criticize her family or any of her relations in front of her, out of respect for her feelings. In return, she respects his feelings and does not do or say anything that may adversely affect any member of his family.
He does not disclose any secret that she has entrusted to him, or spread any story that she has told him in confidence, for carelessness in such matters all too often explodes into conflict between the spouses and extinguishes the love between them. The sincere Muslim husband is protected from all of that, so long as he continues to follow the guidance of Islam.
He helps her to make up for her failings and weaknesses
The sincere Muslim husband tries to make up for what his wife lacks, if he feels that she is lacking in knowledge or manners. He does this in the gentlest, kindest and most positive manner. If he encounters defiance or wilful deviance on her part, he brings her back to the straight and narrow in a gentle, humane and intelligent manner, avoiding harsh criticism or rebuking her in front of people, no matter what the reason. The most hurtful thing for a woman is that someone should hear her being reprimanded or witness her being scolded. The true Muslim is the most sensitive and respectful towards the feelings of others.
He knows how to strike a balance between pleasing his wife and treating his mother with due kindness and respect
The sincere Muslim husband draws upon his intelligence, compassion and strength of character in his dealings with both his wife and his mother, in such a way that he does not offend either of them. So he cannot be disobedient towards his mother or oppressive towards his wife. Rather, he recognizes his mother’s rights and treats her in the best possible way, while also recognizing his wife’s rights. He does not detract from his wife’s rights in the course of fulfilling his duty towards his mother and taking care of her. The truly sincere Muslim is able to do this, as long as he is truly conscious of Allah (S.W.T.) (i.e., hastaqwA.)and follows the guidance and teachings of Islam, which treat both mother and wife with fairness and give each her due status.
He fully understands his role as a protector and maintainer (qawwam) of his wife
With such good attitudes and gentle treatment, the Muslim husband wins the heart of his wife, so she does not disobey him in anything. Therefore the Muslim man has been given the position ofqawwamover women, because of the characteristics which Islam instills in him, the qualifications it has given him and the conditions and limits it has imposed on him:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because of Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means...]" (Qur’an 4:34)
This position ofqawwambrings with it some inconveniences, for it gives men responsibilities. The man is completely responsible for his wife:
“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
This responsibility applies to every individual in an Islamic society, in which everyone is responsible in one way or another, because according to Islam, life is a serious matter, not something to be taken lightly.
Just as Islam has enjoined good treatment of woman and raised her status, so it has also commanded her to understand her role in life, and to stay within the limits of the Shari‘ah, so that she may better fulfil her role in life as a partner to man in bringing up the next generation and making life more pleasant and enjoyable.
Similarly, just as Islam has required man to treat his wife kindly and take care of her properly, so it has commanded the wife to obey him within the limits of permissibility, fairness and justice. This obedience is most strongly emphasized, as is illustrated by the words of the Prophet (S.A.W.):
“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband.” 16
Indeed, he said that the husband’s satisfaction with her would be a cause of her entering Paradise:
“Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
He assured the defiant, rebellious woman that the angels would heap curses upon her until she goes back to her husband:
“If a woman stays away from her husband’s bed, the angels will curse her until morning.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
The concern of Islam to affirm man’s position ofqawwamover women and reinforce her obligation to obey and please him, goes as far as forbidding her to fast at times other than Rama¼an or to receive any guests without his permission:
“The woman is not permitted to fast when her husband is present, without his permission, or to invite anyone into his house without his permission.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam gave the husband this right to beqawwamover his wife so that he will be a real man, knowing how to steer the ship of family life towards the shore of safety and guidance. Islam warns all men against the trial and temptation (fitnah) of women, which may make them heedless and weak, and lessen their religious commitment, so that they turn a blind eye to the waywardness and un-Islamic behavior of their wives. In such a case a husband has no say: his wife is controlling everything in the home, so that he dare not disobey her, or answer her back, or refuse any of her whims. The Prophet (S.A.W.) was right when he said that this is the most damaging of trials and temptations that a man can be faced with:
“There will be nofitnahafter my death that is worse for men than thefitnahof women.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
The Muslim husband is a man who is not weak in dealing with the trial of having a wayward wife, no matter how difficult thatfitnahis. He gently makes it clear to her that no matter how much he loves her, he loves Allah (S.W.T.) and the Prophet more, and his desire to please Allah (S.W.T.) is stronger than his feelings for her:
"Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates or your kindred; the wealth that you have gained; the commerce in which you fear a decline; or the dwellings in which you delight - are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious." (Qur’an 9:24)
In this way, the female waywardness which we see in many so-called Muslim homes will be done away with. The man who sees his wife, daughters and sisters going out in the street with make-up, uncovered heads and bare arms, clothed but seeming naked, and does nothing to stop this disobedience of Islam, has surely lost his manhood, abandoned Islam and earned the wrath of Allah (S.W.T.). There is no way out of his predicament but sincere repentance which will wake him up, restore his manhood and set him back on the straight path.
Islam has set out standards for women, and has defined the kind of clothing she should wear when she goes out in the street or appears in from of men who are not-mahram. This type of clothing is known ashijab. The Muslim woman who has been nurtured in pure Islam and has grown up in its protective atmosphere accepts thishijabwillingly and with a deep sense of conviction, knowing that it is from Allah (S.W.T.), and that it is not a tyranny designed by men to satisfy their egotistical desires to control women, or a custom invented during the decadent Umawi (Umayyad) period, as is claimed by those worthless fools who have no sound proof from the Qur’an whatsoever.
In a report narrated by Bukhari, ‘A’ishah said: “May Allah have mercy on the early muhajir women. When Allah (S.W.T.) revealed: ". . .they should draw their veils over their bosoms. . ."(Qur’an 24:31) they tore their aprons and covered their heads and faces with them.” In another report, also given by Bukhari, she said: “They cut their waist-sheets at the edges and covered their heads and faces with the cut pieces.”
Safiyyah bint Shaybah said:
“While we were with ‘A’ishah we mentioned the women of Quraysh and how good they were. ‘A’ishah said: ‘The women of Quraysh are good but by Allah (S.W.T.) I have never seen any better than the women of the Anîar or any more convinced of the Book of Allah (S.W.T.) or with a deeper faith in the Revelation. WhenSurat al-Nurwas revealed "… they should draw their veils over their bosoms..."the men turned to their wives, daughters, sisters and other female relatives and recited these words to them. Not one of them failed to take her decorated wrapper and wrap it around her head and face, in acceptance of and belief in what Allah (S.W.T.) had revealed. The next morning they were behind the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) wrapped up in their veils, looking as if they had black crows on their heads.’”17
Many Allah (S.W.T.) have mercy on the women of the Anîar: how strong was their faith, how sincere was their Islam and how beautiful was their response to the Truth when it was revealed! Every woman who truly believes in Allah (S.W.T.) and His Messenger cannot do other than to adhere to the distinctive Islamic dress, regardless of whatever nakedness andtabarruj(wanton display) surrounds her. I remember a veiled Muslim student at the University of Damascus whose attitude was no less commendable than that of the women of the Ansar; when a visiting journalist asked her about herhijaband why she was putting up with it in the heat of summer, she quoted: "…Say:‘The Fire of Hell is fiercer in heat…’ " (Qur’an 9:81)
It is pure, sincere Muslim girls like this who will establish Muslim families, raise the next generation in a sound way and fill society with strong, productive men. Nowadays there are many such girls,al-hamdulillah!
The sincere Muslim is responsible for his womenfolk’s adherence to the Islamic teachings regarding her going out, and thehijabwhich is the badge of the Muslim woman. The day when a husband lets his wife or his environment take over and dispenses with this Islamic ruling without being able to stand up to them, is the day he says good-bye to both his religion and his manhood.
The husband’s responsibility for his wife does not stop with her outward appearance, but also includes her worship and conduct. He is responsible for her if she omits some act of worship, or if she neglects or deliberately ignores her duties towards Allah (S.W.T.). He is responsible for her good behavior and completion of her duties. Any shortcomings on her part will detract from her husband’s manhood, diminish his Islam and damage the role ofqawwamwith which Allah (S.W.T.) has honored him.
Islam considers women to be a trust which has been given to men for safe-keeping. As the wife is usually influenced by her husband, he may take her with him to Paradise or lead her to Hell. Therefore Allah (S.W.T.) ordered the believing men to protect both themselves and their families from the Fire and gave a terrifying picture of the awful fate that awaits them if they neglect their responsibilities towards their wives and families and fail to compel them to adhere to the truth:
"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are [appointed] angels stern [and] severe, who flinch not [from executing] the Commands they receive from Allah, but do [precisely] what they are commanded." (Qur’an 66:6)
The role ofqawwamover women which Islam gives to men cannot truly be fulfilled unless the husband is a successful leader of his family. The Muslim husband does not assert his manhood through roughness, cruelty, violence and harsh words. This is the manhood of ignorance (jahiliyyah); Islamic manhood is something else altogether. The Islamic ideal of manhood is: a strong and likeable personality; a noble attitude; tolerance and forgiveness of minor mistakes; strong adherence to the laws of Allah (S.W.T.) and determination to apply them to every member of his family; brilliant leadership in guiding his family to the truth; generosity without being extravagant; a thorough understanding of his responsibilities in this world and the next; and a clear idea of the ideal Muslim home. These are the characteristics of the true Muslim as Islam wants him to be.
______________
1 Reported by al-Nisa’i, with a îa sahih isnad.
2 Reported by al-Nisa’i and Ibn Majah, with a îa sahih isnad.
3 Reported by al-Hakim, who said it is îa sahih according to the conditions of Bukhari and Muslim.
4 Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, with a îa sahih isnad.
5 “Iyyakum wa khadra’ al-diman” (literally, “Beware of the greens of dung”) is a well-known saying in Arabic. It is a proverb, not a Hadith of the Prophet (S.A.W). [Author]
6 Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a Hasan îa Sahih hadith.
7 Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a hasan îa sahih hadith.
8 Reported by Abu Dawud, al-Nisa’i and Ibn Majah. Ibn Hijr said in al-Isabah: “Its isnad is Sahih.”
8 The words with which Muslims should greet one another are “al-salam ‘alaykum” (peace be upon you), not “Hi,” “Hello,” or “Good morning.”
10 Reported by al-Tirmidhi who said: it is a hasan gharib hadith.
11 Al-Haythami, 4/316; al-Muntakhab 4/393; Kanz al-‘Ummal, 7/302. Al-Haythami said: It was narrated by Abu Ya‘la, and its narrators are those who narrated in Sahih (Bukhari), except for Muhammad ibn ‘Amr ibn ‘Alqamah, whose hadith is hasan
12 A sahih hadith, narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawud.
13 Reported by al-Nisa’i via Yazid ibn Ruman from ‘A’ishah. See also different reports from her in Fath al-Bari, Bab al-‘idayn (chapter on the two Eids).
14 Reported by al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak; he said it is îa sahih according to the condition of Bukhari and Muslim
15 Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a Hasan îa sahih hadith.
16 See Fath al-Bari, commentary on Sahih Bukhari
17 See al-Hilyah, 1/106; Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, 3/394; al-Kanz, 8/305.

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Family Issues, - The Ideal Muslim and His Wife Part 1

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Islamic View of Marriage and Woman
Marriage in Islam offers tranquility to the soul and peace to the mind, so that man and woman may live together in an atmosphere of love, mercy, harmony, co-operation, mutual advice and tolerance, and lay the foundation for raising a Muslim family in a nurturing, sound environment.
The Holy Qur’an has described, in the most moving and eloquent terms, this eternal, natural relationship between man and woman, which is filled with tranquility, security, love, understanding and compassion:
[And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.] (Qur’an 30:21)
Marriage is a union of souls, in the deepest sense. Allah (S.W.T.) joins these two souls together so that they may enjoy tranquility and stability in a marital home filled with sincere love and compassionate mercy.
In Islam, the righteous woman is viewed as one of the joys of this life, and a great blessing to a man, for he comes home to her and relaxes after facing the struggles of life, and finds with her incomparable peace, comfort and pleasure. The Prophet (S.A.W.) spoke only the truth said:
“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this word is a righteous woman.” (Muslim)
Islam regards marriage very highly, and views femininity as something to be valued and cherished.
The ideal Muslim’s wife
On the basis of this view of marriage and of women, the Muslim is not attracted by the empty-headed attitude displayed by some girls nowadays. Rather, he is attracted by a sound Muslim personality, and he takes his time in choosing a partner for life, looking for a partner who has the right Islamic characteristics which make for a stable and happy married life. Therefore he is not interested in the superficial physical beauty, grace and elegance that are the sole concern of empty-headed youngsters. While he may not ignore physical looks, he must look for strong religious beliefs and practice, intelligence, and good behavior, following the advice of the Prophet (S.A.W):
“A woman may be married for four things: for her wealth, for her noble descent, for her beauty or for her religion. Choose the one who is religious, lest your hands be rubbed with dust!” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Although the Prophet (S.A.W.) advised the young Muslim to look for a religious wife, this does not mean that he should ignore his preferences regarding physical beauty. The Prophet (S.A.W.) encouraged seeing a woman before finalizing the marriage, so that a Muslim will not find himself trapped in a marriage with a woman he finds unattractive.
Al-Mughirah ibn Sha‘bah said:
“I got engaged to a woman at the time of the Prophet (S.A.W). He asked me, ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and have a look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” [1]
A man who had got engaged to a woman of the Ansar came to the Prophet (S.A.W), who asked him: “Have you seen her?” He said, “No.” so the Prophet (S.A.W.) ordered him to go and see her.2
The Prophet (S.A.W.) emphasized, in more than one hadith, the fact that beauty is one of the basic characteristics that a man should look for in a woman, besides the other, moral, characteristics that are desirable. Indeed, the two are inseparable. For example, he told Ibn ‘Abbas (R.A.A):
“Shall I tell you the most precious thing a man can have? It is a righteous wife: when he looks at her he is pleased, when he tells her to do something she obeys, and when he is away she is faithful and loyal to him.”3
Abu Hurayrah (R.A.A.) said:
“The Prophet (S.A.W.) was asked: ‘Which woman is the best?’ He said, ‘The one who pleases him when he looks at her, who obeys him when he tells her to do something, and who does not do something he dislikes with regard to herself or to his wealth.”4
This is the guidance given by the Prophet (S.A.W.) regarding the personality of the woman who can bring happiness, tranquillity and stability to a man, and who can make a cheerful, pleasant and secure home in which to raise a brood of successful, courageous, intelligent children. The Prophet (S.A.W.) insisted that marriage should be firmly built on a solid foundation, striking a balance between physical, mental, spiritual and emotional needs, so that it will not be rocked by personality clashes or differences in attitude. Therefore the true Muslim who is guided by the shari‘ah of Allah (S.W.T.) in all his affairs, does not fall for the wiles of the “jezebels” who are the beautiful women of bad character; rather he (S.A.W.) tells people: “Beware of the ‘jezebels’.”5
He follows the guidance of Islam in his married life
After marriage, the true Muslim adheres to the Islamic injunction to treat his wife well. The Islamic recommendations concerning women, and the way in which Islam encourages men to respect them, are nothing short of amazing.
Islam recommends men to treat women well, and gives them a status that they have never enjoyed in any other religion. So we see the Prophet (S.A.W.) admonishing all men:
“Treat women kindly, for woman was created from a rib. The part of it that is most bent is the top. If you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain bent. So treat women kindly.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
According to a report given by Bukhari and Muslim, he (S.A.W.) said:
“Woman is like a rib: if you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you enjoy her (or your relationship with her), you will do so in spite of her crookedness.”
According to a report given by Muslim, he (S.A.W.) said:
“Woman was created from a rib. She will never be straightforward and consistent for you in any way. If you enjoy her (or your relationship with her), you will do so in spite of her crookedness. If you try to straighten her, you will break her, and her breaking is her divorce.”
This description given by the Prophet (S.A.W.) eloquently describes the reality and nature of woman. She will not remain consistent in the way her husband may wish, but the Muslim husband must understand that this is her nature, the way she has been created. He should not try to straighten her in the way he is convinced is correct, but he should respect her unique feminine nature and accept her the way Allah (S.W.T.) made her, complete with the “crookedness” that means that she will not be as he wishes in some aspects. If he insists on straightening her and molding her to his wishes, it will be like trying to straighten a bent rib: it will break in his hands, and the breaking of a woman is divorce (i.e., the matter will end in divorce).
When the Muslim husband truly follows this guidance of the Prophet (S.A.W), which is based on a deep understanding of the psychology and nature of women, he will tolerate his wife’s mistakes and turn a blind eye to her faults, recognizing that these are part of her nature. Thus the marital home will be safe and calm, free from shouting or arguments.
We may note that in the hadith quoted above, the Prophet (S.A.W.) started with the words “Treat women kindly,” then after analyzing the nature of woman, he ended with the same words: “Treat women kindly.” How great was the concern of the Prophet (S.A.W.) for women, and how deep was his understanding of their psychology! Does the sincere Muslim husband have any choice but to follow this guidance and put it into practice at every moment?
The Prophet’s concern for women reached such an extent that he did not forget to remind Muslims to treat them kindly, in his farewell sermon (khutbat al-wada‘). This is thekhutbahin which the Prophet (S.A.W.) reiterated the essential points of Islam, when he realized that this was the last time he would stand and address the Muslims during Hajj. He did not omit to advise Muslims to treat women kindly, beginning his words concerning women with a warning that is indicative of his care and concern:
“. . . Interact with women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and beat them, but not severely, but if they return to obedience, (then) seek not against them means of annoyance. You have rights over your women and they have rights over you. Your right over them is that they should not entertain at your hearth anyone (or commit adultery with), and not to allow into your home anyone whom you dislike, and their right over you is that you should feed and clothe them well.” 6
This is good advice, in which every sincere Muslim husband recognizes the wisdom of the Prophet (S.A.W.) in defining the rights and duties of husband and wife in a framework of mercy and compassion towards women which leaves no room for even thinking of oppressing or harming one’s wife.
The Prophet (S.A.W.) gave many recommendations concerning women, to the extent that he described the man who treats his wife well as being one of the best and among the elite of his Ummah:
“The believer who has the most perfect faith is the one whose behaviour is best, and the best of you are the ones who are best to their women.” 7
Some women came to the family of the Prophet (S.A.W.) complaining about their husbands. So the Prophet (S.A.W.) announced to the men:
“Many women have visited the family of Muhammad, complaining about their husbands. Verily those are not the best among you.” 8
True Islam is pre-eminent in its fairness and respect towards women, and in its recommendation to husbands to treat their wives well even if they dislike them. This is something which women have never enjoyed throughout their history, except in this religion. Allah (S.W.T.) says in the Qur’an:
". . . live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." (Qur’an 4:19)
ThisAyahtouches the heart of the true Muslim, so that his anger is soothed and his dislike towards his wife is lessened. In this way Islam protects the sacred marriage bond from being exposed to the danger of turbulent emotions and the folly of changing moods. When a man came to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (R.A.A.) and told him that he wanted to divorce his wife because he disliked her, ‘Umar (R.A.A.) said, “Woe to you! Are families only built on love? Where is your consideration and care?”
The marriage bond in Islam is of greater importance than emotional whims and rises above the pressures of crazy animal urges. The true Muslim possesses enough chivalry, nobility, courtesy, patience, generosity and strength of character to make him rise above any dislike of his wife in his dealings with her. Far be it from him to think only in terms of mindless animal instincts or making a profit!
The true Muslim cannot do other than obey hisRabb; so he treats his wife well even if he dislikes her, because he understands the words of his wiseRabbabout the things that are hidden from him, and they are many. A man may dislike something and try to distance himself from it, when in fact it is full of goodness and blessing. The true Muslim knows how to love and how to hate. Love is not blind for him, neither does he go to extremes of dislike and hatred, but in either case his attitude is moderate and balanced.
The Prophet (S.A.W.) explained that even if a husband dislikes his believing Muslim wife, she will still have some favorable characteristics which will please him, so he should not ignore the good side of her character and focus only on the negative aspects:
“No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, there will be others that do please him.” (Muslim)
The true Muslim is an ideal husband
The true Muslim abides by the clear, unambiguous texts of the Qur’an which command him to treat women fairly and decently. He cannot be other than an ideal husband, so his wife enjoys his gentle company and close companionship, no matter how long they stay together. When he comes home, he greets his wife and children with a smiling face and extends to them the blessed greeting that Allah (S.W.T.) has enjoined and made the distinctive greeting of Islam:9
". . . But if you enter houses, salute each other a greeting or blessing and purity as from Allah . . ." (Qur’an 24:61)
The Prophet (S.A.W.) encouraged Anas (R.A.A.) to use this greeting: “O my son, when you go home greet your family withsalam: it will be a blessing for you and your family.”10
It is truly a great blessing for a man to meet his family with a pleasant greeting, for it contributes to a happy, friendly and pleasant atmosphere. He should lend a hand if he sees that his wife needs his help, and he should say some words of comfort if he feels that she is complaining of tiredness, weariness or boredom. He should make her feel that she is living with a strong, generous, tolerant husband who will protect her and care for her, who cares about her and will meet all her legitimate needs as long as he is able.
He should also satisfy her femininity by making himself attractive to her within Islamic limits and should give her a share of his time and interest. He should not let his study, work, hobbies, responsibilities or friends take up all of his time and keep him from her. Islam guarantees woman’s right to enjoy her husband to the extent that it even tells the husband not to spend all his time in worship, which is the best and most honorable of deeds, lest the balance and equilibrium upon which this religion is based be disturbed. We see this in the report of ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aî (R.A.A), who says that when the Prophet (S.A.W.) learned of his overzealousness in worship, he said to him:
“Have I not heard that you fast all day and stay up all night in prayer?” ‘Abdullah said, “That is true, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet (S.A.W.) told him: “Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, sleep and get up. For your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your visitors have a right over you.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Khawlah, the daughter of Hakim, who was the wife of ‘Uthman ibn Maz‘un (R.A.A), came to the wives of the Prophet (S.A.W.) wearing a tattered dress and looking unkempt. They asked her, “What is wrong with you?” She told them about her husband: “At night he stays up in prayer, and during the day he fasts.” They told the Prophet (S.A.W.) what she had said, so when he saw ‘Uthman ibn Maz‘un, he admonished him and said, “Do you not have an example in me?” ‘Uthman said, “Of course, may Allah (S.W.T.) cause me to be sacrificed for you!” Later, she (Khawlah) came back wearing fine clothes and with a pleasant scent. According to another report, the Prophet (S.A.W.) told him: “O ‘Uthman, monasticism has not been prescribed for us. Do you not have an example in me? For by Allah (S.W.T), I am the one out of all of you who fears Allah (S.W.T.) the most and keeps most strictly within His bounds.”11
The Prophet (S.A.W.) used to instill this guidance in his Companions and showed them how to achieve fairness and balance between their spiritual lives and their private lives with their spouses, until this fairness and balance became second nature to them. Then they would encourage one another to adhere to it, and would appeal to the Prophet (S.A.W.) if one of their number sought to go beyond the limits and was becoming extreme in his asceticism, self-denial and worship.
Imam Bukhari narrated that Abu Juhayfah (R.A.A.) said:
“The Prophet (S.A.W.) established brotherhood between Salman and Abul-Darda’. Salman visited Abul-Darda’ and saw Umm al-Darda’ looking unkempt. He asked her, ‘What is the matter with you?’ She said, ‘Your brother Abul-Darda’ has no need of this world.’ Abul-Darda’ came and made some food for him, and told him: ‘Eat; I am fasting.’ Salman said, ‘I will not eat until you eat,’ so he ate. That night, Abul-Darda’ wanted to spend the night in prayer, but Salman told him to sleep, so he went to sleep. Then he wanted to get up, but Salman again told him to sleep. In the last part of the night, Salman told him, ‘Now get up.’ So they prayed, and Salman told him: ‘YourRabbhas a right over you, your soul has a right over you, and your wife has a right over you, so fulfil your duty to each one who has a right over you.’ Abul-Darda’ came to the Prophet (S.A.W.) and told him about what had happened, and the Prophet (S.A.W.) said: ‘Salman is right.’”
The conscientious Muslim does not neglect to relieve the tedium of routine life with his wife, so he spices their daily life with a little gentle humor and playfulness from time to time. In doing so, he follows the example of the Prophet (S.A.W.) whose whole life is the highest example for us. Although he was constantly busy with the overwhelming task of laying the foundations of Islam, building the Muslim Ummah, directing the army in jihad, and numerous other concerns, he did not let that keep him from being an ideal husband to his wives, treating them in the best possible way, with a smiling face and a touch of gentle humor.
An example is the report given by ‘A’ishah (R.A.A.) who said:
“I came to the Prophet (S.A.W.) with someharirah(a dish made with flour and milk) that I had cooked for him, and told Sawdah (R.A.A.) as the Prophet (S.A.W.) was sitting between me and her - ‘Eat.’ She refused, so I said, ‘Either you eat, or I will fill your face!’ She still refused, so I put my hand in theharirahand daubed her face with it. The Prophet (S.A.W.) laughed, put someharirahin her hand, and told her: ‘Do the same to her!’” In another report: “He lowered his knee (moved out of the way) so that she could get her own back on me, then she took some from the plate and wiped my face with it, and the Prophet (S.A.W.) smiled.” 12
Is this not an example of tolerance and an easy-going nature which makes a wife happy through a humorous and light-hearted attitude?
‘A’ishah also reported that once, when she went on a journey with the Prophet (S.A.W), she challenged him to a race, and won. Later, when she had gained weight, she raced him again, but this time he won, and told her, “This is for that.”13
The generous-hearted Prophet (S.A.W.) was so keen to make his beloved young wife feel happy that he would call her to enjoy some innocent kinds of entertainment that would gladden her heart. ‘A’ishah reports that on one occasion:
“The Prophet (S.A.W.) was sitting, and he heard some noise from people and children outside. There was a group of people gathered around some Abyssinians who were dancing. He said, ‘O ‘A’ishah, come and see!’ I put my cheek on his shoulder and looked through the gap. Then he said, ‘O ‘A’ishah, have you had enough, have you had enough?’ I said, ‘No,’ just to see how much I meant to him, and I saw him shifting his weight from one foot to the other” (i.e. he was tired, but he was willing to stay as long as she wanted to watch the spectacle.)14
In another report, ‘A’ishah said:
“By Allah (S.W.T), I saw the Prophet (S.A.W.) standing at the door of my room, when some Abyssinians were playing with spears in the mosque. The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) screened me with his cloak so that I could watch the spear-play over his shoulder. He stayed there for my sake, until I had seen enough. So pay attention to young girls’ need for entertainment.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
When he sees the example of the Prophet’s kind behavior, generosity and good humor towards his wives, the true Muslim cannot but treat his wife kindly and gently, with an easy-going attitude, so long as this is within the limits of permissible and innocent entertainment.
The true Muslim does not overreact and become angry for trivial reasons, as many ignorant husbands do, creating uproar if their wives offer them food that is not to their liking, or their meal is a little late, or any of the other reasons which often cause an inordinate amount of anger, arguments and trouble between the spouses. The Muslim who is truly following the example of the Prophet (S.A.W.) always remembers aspects of his character that remind him to be generous, kind and tolerant. So he remembers that one of the characteristics of the Prophet (S.A.W.) is that “he never criticized food. If he liked it, he ate it, and if he did not like it, he simply left it.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
And he remembers that the Prophet (S.A.W.) asked his family for some simple food he could eat with bread. They told him, “We have nothing apart from vinegar.” He asked them to bring it and said, “How good a simple food is vinegar, how good a simple food is vinegar.” (Muslim)...to be continued...

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Family Issues, - 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won’t Tell You

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Ever wish you could read your husband’s mind? Western culture encourages husbands and wives to talk to each other and discuss things.
However, in many Muslim cultures, men are raised to be stoic and tight-lipped. Muslim husbands are very often (not always) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives.
Part of the problem is also that sometimes it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the right words.
The only thing more difficult than translating thoughts to words is translating feelings to words.
1. Above All, He Desires Your Respect
It’s important that Muslim women understand the value of respect for men, especially Muslim men. In Islam, men are taught from a young age that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their families.
You can imagine how frustrating it would be for a man, who tries his best to care for his family, to be married to a woman who doesn’t respect him. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her.
This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says:
Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard.
Chapter 4, Verse 34
2. He Desires Your Loyalty
This goes hand in hand with respect.
There’s nothing that will ruin a marriage quicker than the idea that your spouse is not loyal. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick by you.
I’m not talking about infidelity. This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.
What I’m talking about is knowing that the person whom you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when you really need them.
Most men won’t admit it, but we do need women. And we do need your support.
And it’s very troubling to be married to a woman who may not be around when the going gets tough.
If you are constantly threatening divorce or separation or Khula (Islamic divorce initiated by the wife), you can expect your marriage to fizzle out very quickly.
Your husband needs to know that you’re going to be by his side if:
*.He loses his job and the money gets tight.
*.He tries to do something (like start a business or go back to school) but fails at it.
*.His reputation is tarnished or his honor is attacked.
You should be loyal to your husband before everything else except Allah and His Messenger (pbuh).
If you’re loyal to your husband, than rest assured he’ll be loyal to you.
3. He Wants To Have Sex More Often
Let’s get this right out into the open.
Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but it’s the truth.
Men desire sex. Men really desire sex.
So when you give him the following excuses:
“I’ve got a headache.”
“I’m not feeling good.”
“Can’t it wait till the weekend? I’m really not in the mood.”
Know that your husband is going to go to sleep a little upset with you, even if he doesn’t show it.
And do this often enough, he’s going to start resenting you. And that resentment will build up and may lead to him being unnecessarily mean to you or losing some love.
Please keep the following hadith in mind:
When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.
Bukhari and Muslim.
Something to think about.
4. He Thinks About Other Women
Okay, first of all, calm down. Let me explain this.
Most men think about other women.
It doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat on you.
It doesn’t mean he’s thinking about taking a second wife.
It doesn’t mean he’s fantasizing about another woman.
It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. wife).
You’re better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, purile notions about men.
The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets:
Respect him.
Be loyal to him.
Give him physical love when he wants it.
Does this mean he’ll never take a second wife if you do these three things? Of course not.
But it will raise your value in his mind relative to other woman and he’ll be all the more reluctant to look for those three things (respect, loyalty, and sex) elsewhere.
5. He Wants To Make You Happy
Why do you think men work so hard to make money?
Why do you think men are willing to leave their jobs and risk starting a business?
Why do you think men like buying women gifts?
Because deep down, we really just want to make you happy. :)
Sometimes we screw it up and forget our anniversary. But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy.
So when your husband buys you a gift, accept it, rejoice over it, thank him profusely, and use it as often as possible.
If he buys you some jewelry, wear it.
If he buys you a new smartphone, use it.
If he buys you perfume, put on for him in the confines of your home.
And don’t be so quick to nag him about the things he doesn’t do right. Because then he’ll start feeling that you don’t respect (there’s that word again) the things he does do for you.
6. If You Gently Nudge Him, He Can Be A Better Muslim
Nobody’s perfect.
Perhaps your husband isn’t a Muslim scholar. Perhaps he’s not the best Muslim in the world.
You can nudge him to make him better. But you can’t force him.
Do little things to get him to improve his Islam.
Offer to wake him up for Salaatul Fajr.
Encourage him to make Salaah at the Masjid.
Tell him how much nicer he’d look if he grew his beard.
This takes deliberate words, a soft touch, and careful action. No one likes to be preached to.
But if you do this right, you’ll be getting a double reward:
The reward that comes with living with a righteous husband. And the reward in the next life for encouraging your husband to the truth.
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.
Chapter 103, Verse 3
7. He Loves You, Even If He Doesn’t Always Show It
I know, this one may be kinda hard to swallow. But it’s true (usually).
Men are just not that good at showing emotion (unless we’re talking sports or politics).
We don’t tell our wives “I love you” often enough.
We’re not perfect. And constantly comparing us to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) ain’t helping.
Of course, we are supposed to emulate him (pbuh) as much as we can. And for most of us, we are doing the best we can.
But we just can’t treat you the same way he (pbuh) treated his wives. Similarly, it’s unfair for men to expect their wives to behave like Aisha (RA) and his other wives (RA) did.
Just because your husband doesn’t treat you in the way (you think) the Prophet (pbuh) treated his wives, doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t love you.
It just means he’s human.
It is very important that you understand this.
If he’s doing his best to take care of you.
If he doesn’t abuse you or sleep around.
If he sincerely tries to solve your problems and helps you in the best way he can.
Then chances are he loves you. A lot.

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Personal, - Miscarriage: Coping with Loss

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Coping: physically and spiritually
If a woman undergoes a miscarriage, it is important that doctors conduct tests of the couple or of the miscarriage tissue to detect the cause of the miscarriage in order to prevent it. Doctors usually check for genetic problems and infections and may conduct blood tests to detect dormant diseases, blood disorders or hormone imbalances. The biggest cause of repeated miscarriages is that women are not tested or correctly diagnosed after the first mishap, causing the problem to recur.
The usual medical advice for women who have undergone a miscarriage is to put the loss behind them, give their bodies time to recover by following a healthy diet and exercise routine and not to give in to the destructive cycle of guilt, depression, anxiety and self-blame that follows it.
Some positive ways to cope with pregnancy loss:
Acceptance:Allaah says )what means(:“No calamity befalls save by Allaah's leave. And whosoever believes in Allaah, He guides his heart”]Quran 64:11[
As Muslims, we believe in Qadr – good and bad -- and when we are faced with trials we have been instructed by the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to say:“Qaddar-Allaahu wa maa shaa’a fa’al” )Allaah decreed, and He does what He wills(. Acceptance of Allaah’s decree gives a person security and mental peace, since all that befalls us happens with the will and knowledge of Allaah, and not because of something we did or did not do. This belief automatically puts an end to feelings of guilt and self-blame and makes us accept Allaah’s will with an open heart.
Patience:Allaah says )what means(:“And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, Who say, when a misfortune strikes them: Lo! we belong to Allaah and Lo! unto Him we are returning. Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided”]Quran 2:155-157[.
Everyone is faced with two options in times of trials: Either they rebel against the will of Allaah and lose their reward and weaken their faith, or they choose to react with patience for the sake of Allaah and remain pleased with His decree, with good grace.
The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,once consoled a woman who was overcome with grief and she reacted angrily without knowing who he was, upon which hesallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallamsaid:“Patience is at the first instance.”Patience comes only from cultivating it as a daily habit in our everyday affairs in order to be pleased with Allaah and with a desire to be pleasing in His eyes. The reward of a woman who remains patient is unimaginable, in fact, the Quran mentions that Allaah is with the patient people and loves them.
Prayer:Allaah says )what means(:“Seek Allaah’s help with patient perseverance and prayer: It is indeed hard except to those who are humble.”]Quran 2:45[
It is a quality of believers that they face adversities with patience and prayer, even though it may be difficult. A woman may be inclined to indulge in self-pity and other negative emotions that distract her from remembrance of Allaah and His worship. But the key is to avoid such distractions and to find comfort in remembering Allaah by reading the Quran, daily Ath-kaar and worshipping Him. It is rightly said:“There is no refuge from Allaah, except towards Him.”
Learning from past examples:In the history of Islam, Muslim women have shown great spiritual strength and patience in times of trouble. Reading about the lives of the Mothers of the Believers, women companions of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,while reflecting on the manner in which they dealt with personal losses could serve as inspiration. They too were women and had normal emotions, but their faith helped them face troubles and recover from setbacks without falling into depression or hopelessness.
Support:Undergoing a miscarriage is an experience that takes a while to recover from physically and spiritually, since the pregnancy hormones are retracted by the body slowly, causing an effect similar to post-partum depression or the “baby blues”. It is not a sign of weakness to seek support from other sisters who may have experienced the same situation, or who are knowledgeable in matters of health or even seek professional help. Muslim women are the building blocks of a community and must contribute to each other’s well-being. If you know someone who has undergone a miscarriage, treat them with sensitivity and offer them support without waiting to be asked to help out.
Acquiring knowledge:If you have been diagnosed with a medical condition, try to read about it and gain knowledge to benefit yourself and others who are in the same situation.
Regarding the loss of an unborn child, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“ By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided one expects recompense.”]Ibn Maajah and Ahmad[
In another narration, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The Believer is not tried by fatigue nor illness nor anxiety nor difficulty nor harm nor distress - not even by a thorn that pricks them - except Allaah Most High erases some sins with it.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
No doubt undergoing a miscarriage can be a devastating experience, but dealing with the situation patiently and positively has an assured reward.

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Personal, - Infertility: the struggle to conceive –II

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Infertility from an Islamic Viewpoint
In the previous edition, we presented Imaan's story in the struggle to conceive as well as various lessons that can be learned through such experiences. In this article, we will outline several issues that infertile couples often encounter, along with an Islamic perspective on each of these. It is important to point out that attempting to cure infertility is not only permissible, but may be a duty for the couple since procreation and preservation of the human race are principal goals in marriage. The treatment itself, however, should never go beyond the boundaries of what is permissible by Allaah. The ends do not always justify the means, and in the case of infertility, this principle should be readily apparent.
Allaah Almighty Says what means:“And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship...” ]Quran 46: 15[
Choice of procedures
In today's world of medical technology and advancement, there are many options available for couples who are struggling with infertility. Unfortunately, many of these options are morally and religiously unacceptable. Muslims need to be aware of the procedures that are allowed in Islam and those that are not. In general, it is easy to remember that any procedure that makes use of sperm or eggs that do not belong to the husband or wife is absolutely unacceptable in Islam. This would entail making use of what is commonly termed donor eggs or donor sperm. The obvious reasons for their prohibition is that they involve mixing of lineage, confusion as to who the real parents are and, in reality, an illegitimate child. The virtue of preserving genealogy is evident in the Quran. Allaah Almighty Says what means: "And it is He who has created from water a human being and made him ]a relative by[ lineage and marriage. And ever is your Lord competent ]concerning creation[." ]Quran 25: 54[
Two permissible methods are as follows:
1( IUI )Intra-Uterine Insemination( wherein the sperm of the husband is taken and injected into a suitable place in the cervix or womb of the wife so that fertilization can take place internally, and
2( IVF )In-Vitro Fertilization( wherein the sperm is taken from the husband, and an egg is taken from the wife. Fertilization is done externally, and then the embryo is implanted in the womb of the wife. IUI is often used when the husband has low sperm count, or has normal sperm but is unable to deposit them in the genital tract for some reason. IVF may be used when there is some type of obstruction preventing access of the sperm to the ovum, which could occur in cases where one or both fallopian tubes are blocked and cannot be corrected by surgery.
An important issue to consider with IVF is that there a strong likelihood that not all of the fertilized eggs will be placed into the uterus. The goal of an IVF cycle is to harvest 15-20 eggs. Not all of these will fertilize successfully, but usually more than two or three will )which is the standard number implanted into the woman(. This leaves the parents with two choices:
1( Discard the remaining embryos or
2( Freeze these embryos for future use )it would not be allowed to donate these for other couples(. This issue leads to several questions, "Does a fertilized egg constitute a child, thereby making the act of discarding it Haraam? Is this a form of abortion? Most scholars have used the following definition of abortion, "Abortion means to terminate the life of the fetus deliberately, by any means, while it is still in the womb of the mother." The debate regarding abortion centers around the definition of fetus and not the womb, and so it would not apply to the IVF process since the fertilized egg is not in the womb.
It is necessary to note that this type of procedure is only permitted within the marriage contract, which is broken by death or divorce. If the husband dies, for example, the woman is not allowed to make use of these stored embryos since there is no longer a marital bond. She is, in fact, able to marry another man after the waiting period is completed. A child conceived in this situation would be denied its right to legitimacy.
Multi-Fetal Reduction
Another debatable issue is the use of multi-fetal reduction )terminating one or more of the embryos after implantation( which may arise when a woman becomes fertilized with more than one or two embryos. Scholars are in disagreement on this particular point. Some state its permissibility due to the medical risk for the mother, and others do not, basing their opinion upon the definition of abortion. It then becomes a decision that must be made between husband and wife with reliance upon their own thoughts and feelings about this issue after trusting in Allaah and seeking His Guidance.
Imaan related that this type of phenomenon is rare since most clinics implant only two or three embryos at one time. This is likely to become the norm as clinics continue to develop standards to minimize the risks for mothers and their unborn fetuses. The issue of multi-fetal reduction will eventually lose its relevance as times goes on.
Surrogate motherhood
In recent years a new approach to infertility has developed that has sparked debates regarding its acceptability, legality and morality.
Surrogate motherhood or surrogate parenting involves making use of another woman's womb to bear a child for a couple who is having difficulty conceiving. This is most commonly used when a woman is unable to bear children due to blocked fallopian tubes or an absent or defective uterus. In one method, the surrogate mother is impregnated by the husband's semen, which, as outlined above, would be completely unacceptable in Islam. In another method, fertilization is completed externally between the sperm and egg of the couple and then the embryo is placed in the uterus of a woman who volunteers or is paid to carry it. The questions that then arise are "Who is the real mother of this child?", "Is the mother the one who contributed the genes or the one who bore and gave birth to the child?" This separation of the womb relation from the ovary relationship is a new phenomenon and lies at the center of the debate regarding surrogation. Various conclusions have been reached, but what is the Islamic perspective on this option?
Throughout the Quran, there are many references to the concept of motherhood. We find the following as examples. Allaah Almighty Says what mean:
"…Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them..." ]Quran 58:2[
"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning ]period[ is thirty months..." ]Quran 46: 15[
"And We have enjoined upon man ]care[ for his parents. His mother carried him, ]increasing her[ in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the ]final[ destination." ]Quran 31:14[
In the Arabic language the term that is used for parents is derived from the verb "Wilaada" which means to give birth. "Waalid" is the father and "Waalidah" is the mother. Both parents are "Waalidaan." We are related to both the ovary and the womb of our mother, but the references in the Quran clearly emphasize the womb relation by stating that mothers are those who gave birth to us. The womb or uterus is "Rahim" )"Arhom" is the' plural( in Arabic and refers to a "value" based on relatives and the tie of compassion that binds them. "Rahmah" is another derivative, which means compassion.
Allaah Almighty Says what means: "O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allaah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allaah is ever, over you, an Observer.." ]Quran 4: 1[
"So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your ]ties of[ relationship?" ]Quran 47: 22[
So, again, we see the significance of the womb relationship and the understanding that the one who gives birth is the mother of the child. A child born under a surrogate contract would be illegitimate in Islamic law since the husband had not entered into a marital contract with the surrogate mother. Even if the surrogate mother were another wife of the husband, it would still not be allowed since this entails introducing a foreign egg, which is outside the marriage contract binding the husband and his second wife.
In addition to all of this, the contract entered into through surrogation would be considered Baatil )invalid( since it involves the "sale" of a free person. Some final points to consider are the evils that may result from this type of contract such as: reducing motherhood to a price, undermining the institution of marriage and family life, creating confusion in blood ties, encouraging surrogate mothers to claim legal rights to the child, and tampering with the Sunan of Allaah in the normal process of procreation.
Inshaa` Allaah )Allaah willing(, we will all be guided to the truth and to those actions that are within the limits of Allaah's Law and which deserve Allaah's Pleasure. May Allaah bestow upon those who desire the role of mother or father from His bounties, for parenthood is truly a blessing that warrants gratitude and prostration to the Creator each and every day.

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Personal, - Infertility: the struggle to conceive – I

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Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would do anything to get it? Would you spend all of your time and money just to get that one thing? Have you ever felt a yearning that would never go away? Would you pray so often and so intense that tears would come to your eyes? Read the following story to find out the struggles that some couples face:
Imaan's story
“I always knew I wanted children – maybe because I come from a large family. When I was looking for a husband, how he dealt with children was very important to me. In fact, seeing how my husband handled someone's newborn baby was what made me interested in talking to him about marriage. After being married about two years we started trying to have children. We tried for about one year to get me pregnant. With no success, we went to a reproductive health clinic so my husband and I could get tested. )It is normal to take that long to conceive, so, unless there is an obvious problem, most clinics will not test before the couple has tried for one year(. Many different tests were done. The doctors only found a minor problem that they assumed would be easy to deal with. We thought that I would get pregnant quickly and were very hopeful.
At this time, we decided to go with a procedure called Intra-Uterine Insemination or IUI. After one trial of IUI in the United States, we moved to Kuwait. It was at this time that I saw a picture above the steps to that clinic in Kuwait. On it was the following Quranic verses which mean: "To Allaah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female )offspring( upon whom He wills, and bestows male )offspring( upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females and He renders barren whomever He wills. Verily, He is the all-Knower and is Able to do all things." ]Quran 42:49-50[
It was a reminder that whatever was to happen would be the will of Allaah and that I would accept whatever he had planned for me. After two more IUIs I was pregnant. With my doctor's permission, I went to Makkah for `Umrah. While there, I began bleeding and was told that I'd had a miscarriage. However, after returning to Kuwait, I experienced spotting and pains on my right side. While it was thought that I'd had a miscarriage, it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. Surgery was carried out and they were able to save the tube since they had caught the pregnancy early enough. I was grateful they saved my tube, but was becoming disappointed. I think I had not yet really accepted Allaah's will or learned to appreciate all the things I was able to do because I did not have children )help start an Islamic school, study in an intensive Arabic program, go for `Umrah at the last minute, etc(.
We went back to the states for a consultation and then returned to Kuwait where we completed 2 more IUIs and then a trial of IVF or In-Vitro Fertilization. Al-Hamdulillaah, I got pregnant from the IVF trial. Sadly though, after six weeks we lost the baby through miscarriage. It was after this trial that I really started to be more accepting of Allaah's will. I found ways to cope with the many side effects of the drugs used in the procedures )moodiness, night sweats, and sadness(. I realized that getting pregnant may take a while. )Not getting pregnant ever was still kept in the back of my mind.( With the acceptance of Allaah's will came the ability to consider more seriously what my life would be like without children, to focus on the positive possibilities of this outcome, and what I would be able to contribute to the community with the available time. We went back to the States again and did 4 more trials of IUI. At one point during the IUIs we were faced with the issue of Multi-Fetal Reduction, as my ovaries had produced too many eggs so there was a slight possibility of multiples if I were to get pregnant. We spoke with a scholar in the field and he related that the scholars disagree on this topic. We were told that we needed to make our own decision. This was a difficult issue to deal with, but I knew if I had multiples there was no way I could do it. )I didn't get pregnant, so we never had to make that choice(. We then did a trial of IVF with ICSI. This too was unsuccessful. More sadness and disappointment; then again, acceptance. And, while others didn't like to hear us say it, we were beginning to accept the fact that we may not ever have our own children. We still kept trying, but had accepted Allaah's will - whatever it may be. We then moved to another state and found a clinic that was well-known for its pioneering work in the field of infertility. We did one IVF trial there with different drug combinations and I became pregnant. Al-Hamdulillaah! After four years and lots of prayer we had finally obtained what we wanted. Al-Hamdulillaah, the pregnancy went well and we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy.
My advice to anyone trying: be informed about the drugs and the procedures, be prepared to have this as a big part of your life )for a while anyway(, know that there will be ups and downs, be patient with "fertile" people's advice )especially when they try not to think about it, but every is structured around shots or ultrasounds(, try and appreciate of gifts/opportunities Allaah has given you, and most of all know that Allaah is with you and He is the best planner your life."
Islamic lessons to be learned
Gratitude:For those who are able to have children and enjoy them, it is important to remember that they are gifts from Allaah. We should always be grateful for what Allaah has given to us and not take these things for granted. The sight of a newborn baby should make us awe at Allaah's Power and how to His Generosity. How many times have we looked at our children and really thanked Allaah for them? How many times have people complimented us on our children and we have said Al-Hamdulillaah rather than feeling pride. Gratefulness is an important characteristic of a believer. There are many verses in the Quran of this nature. Allaah Says )what means(: "So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny me." ]Quran 2:152[
Patience:Mankind is tested in many ways. The believers are those who are steadfast during times of trial and adversity. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said: "Wonderful is the case of a believer - there is good for him in everything, and this is only for the believer. If he experiences a blessing, he is grateful to Allaah - which is good for him; and if he experiences an adversity, he is patient - which is also good for him." ]Muslim[
Infertility is obviously a burdensome trial given to certain men and women, and those who remain patient and steadfast in faith will be the successful. "Indeed, Allaah is with those who are patient."
Remembrance of Allaah's Will:
The verses from the chapter of Ash-Shoora summarize this point. Allaah Almighty Says what means: "He creates what He wills. He bestows female )offspring( upon whom He wills, and bestows male )offspring( upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills."]Quran 42: 50[
All that happens in this life emanates from the will of Allaah. Oftentimes we have to accept this even if we find it difficult and are unaware of the wisdom behind such happening. This also means that others should not shun, shame, or ostracize a woman or man who is experiencing infertility. This is something, in particular, that husbands should remember in relation to their wives as demonstrated in the stories of Ibraaheem and Zakariyya )outlined below(. This is the will of Allaah and we are not in a position to judge others, particularly for something over which they have no control. Allaah Knows what is best for His creation.
Understanding:The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said: “Whatever trouble, illness, anxiety, grief, pain or sorrow afflicts a Muslim even if it is the pricking of a thorn - Allaah removes in its places some of his sins."
The first understanding to have is that through pain, sadness, and struggle comes the reward from Allaah, The Exalted, and expiation for sins. The struggle itself then becomes a blessing from Allaah, although we may not be aware of this and it may be difficult for us to comprehend. The second understanding is that Allaah has a plan and a reason for all things. One example is that of `Aa`ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, the wife of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam. `Aa`ishah was young, but she did not have children.
The wisdom behind this may be that Allaah had another purpose for her. One only needs to look at the numerous Hadeeths that she transmitted and the knowledge that she shared throughout her lifetime to understand what this purpose may have been. There are other areas of life beyond child-rearing where a person can share his or her talents and skills.
Hopefulness and Reliance upon Allaah:It is important to never despair of the Mercy of Allaah and to always remain hopeful that Allaah will change the situation. Making Du`aa` )supplication( is essential in relation to this. There are several stories in the Quran that present beautiful lessons for mankind. The first is about Ibraaheem and his wife Saarah, may Allaah exalt their mention: "And his wife was standing )there( and she laughed: But we gave her glad tidings of Isaac and after him, of Jacob. She said "Alas for me! Shall I bear a child, seeing I am an old woman, and my husband here, is an old man? That indeed would be a wonderful thing!" They said: "Do you wonder at Allaah's decree? The grace of Allaah and His blessings on you, O you people of the house! For He is indeed worthy of all praise, full of Glory!" ]Quran 11:71-73[
The second is of Zakariyya and his wife, may Allaah exalt their mention: "There did Zakariyya pray to his Lord, saying: "O my Lord! Grant unto me from You a progeny that is pure: for You are He that hears prayer! While he was standing in prayer in the chamber, the angels called unto him: "Allaah gives thee glad tidings of Yahya, witnessing the truth of a Word from Allaah, and )be besides( noble, chaste, and a prophet,-of the )goodly( company of the righteous." He said: "O my Lord! How shall I have son, seeing I am very old, and my wife is barren?" "Thus," was the answer, "Does Allaah accomplish what He wills." ]Quran 3:38-40["]This is[ a recital of the Mercy of your Lord to His servant Zakariyya. Behold! He cried to his Lord in secret, Praying:"O my Lord! Infirm indeed are my bones, and the hair of my head does glisten with gray: but never am I unblest, O my Lord, in my prayer to You!" ]Quran 19:2-4[
"And )remember( Zakariyya, when he cried to his Lord: "O my Lord! Leave me not without offspring, though thou art the best of inheritors." So We listened to him: and We granted him Yahya: We cured his wife's )Barrenness( for him. These )three( were ever quick in emulation in good works; they used to call on Us with love and reverence, and humble themselves before Us." ]Quran 21:89-90[
There are several lessons to be learned from these stories, but the main one is that even in the seemingly most impossible circumstances, Allaah may answer our prayers and bless us from his bounty. Both Saarah and Ishba were barren for many years, but nothing is beyond Allaah's Power to control. We should obviously not obsess ourselves about having children to the point where it is harmful for ourselves and others, but we should continue to accept Allaah's Destiny, remain firm in our faith, and maintain hopefulness. If Allaah does not bless us with children in this life, we have the next life to look forward to. It is important to remember that our goal in this life is to obtain Paradise in the Hereafter. This life is but a fleeting moment in the cycle of existence.
The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam, said: "Surely I know a verse )from the Quran( which, if people would have followed it, would have sufficed for them concerning everything )in life(: `For those who fear Allaah, He provides a way out for them )for everything, and( He also provides them provisions from )sources( that they could never have imagined." ])65:2-3(; Ahmad and Ibn Maajah[

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Dought & clear, - Wisdom behind Fajr prayer being two rak‘ahs

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Why is Fajr prayer two rak‘ahs, fewer than the number of rak‘ahs in other prayers?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Allah has enjoined upon His slaves five prayers to be offered each day and night, and He has prescribed the number of rak‘ahs in each prayer according to His wisdom and knowledge.
So we have to accept, submit and obey, and to say as the Messenger and the believers said:“We hear, and we obey” [al-Baqarah 2:285]. For more information, please see the answer to question no. 65877
Secondly:
Al-Bukhaari (1090) and Muslim (685) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), that she said: Prayer was enjoined with two rak‘ahs in each prayer, whether one was staying at home or travelling. Then the prayer when travelling was confirmed (as being two rak‘ahs) and the prayer when not travelling was increased.
Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said: When Allah, may He be exalted, enjoined upon His Messenger the five prayers each day and night, then he came back down to earth and Jibreel (peace be upon him) led him in prayer at the Ka‘bah, his prayer at that time was only two rak‘ahs in each prayer, whether one was staying at home or travelling. Then the prayer when travelling was confirmed as it was, and two rak‘ahs were added to the prayers when staying at home. What is meant here is the four-rak‘ah prayers only.
End quote fromFath al-Baari, by Ibn Rajab, 2/327
Ibn Khuzaymah (305) and Ibn Hibbaan (2738) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: The prayers, whether travelling or staying at home were enjoined with two rak‘ahs each, then when the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) settled in Madinah, two rak‘ahs were added to the prayers when staying at home, but Fajr prayer was left as it was, because of the length of the recitation therein, and Maghrib prayer (was also left as it was), because it is the Witr of the day.
Classed as hasan by Shaykh Shu ‘ayb al-Arna’oot in his commentary onSaheeh Ibn Hibbaan.
According to a report narrated by Ahmad (26338), the first thing to be enjoined upon the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was prayer with two rak‘ahs each, except Maghrib, which was three rak‘ahs. Then Allah completed Zuhr, ‘Asr and ‘Isha’, making them four rak‘ahs when staying at home, and confirming the original obligation (of two rak‘ahs) when travelling.
Classed as hasan by the commentators onal-Musnad.
This hadith explains that when the prayer was first enjoined, it was two rak‘ahs in each prayer, then that was confirmed in the case of travel, but it was increased when staying at home. So Zuhr, ‘Asr and ‘Isha’ were increased by two rak‘ahs. Fajr was confirmed as two rak‘ahs so that one could recite at length in it. Hence the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used to recite at greater length in it than in the other prayers. Sometimes he would recite Soorat as-Saaffaat in it when leading them in prayer, as was narrated by Ahmad (4989) and classed as hasan by the commentators onal-Musnad. Sometimes he recited Soorat ar-Room, as was narrated also by Ahmad (15873) and classed as hasan by the commentators onal-Musnad. Sometimes he recited between sixty and one hundred verses, as is agreed upon (by the hadeeth scholars). So as to allow lengthy recitation in Fajr prayer, it was confirmed as two rak‘ahs, as it was enjoined in the beginning, not because two rak‘ahs were dropped from it.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
When Allah, may He be exalted, enjoined the five daily prayers in Makkah, he enjoined them with two rak‘ahs each. Then that was confirmed when travelling, and more was added to the prayers when staying at home, as is proven inas-Saheehfrom ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said: When he (the Prophet – blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) migrated to Madinah, (two rak‘ahs) were added to the prayers when staying at home (i.e., not travelling); Maghrib prayer was made three rak‘ahs, because it is the Witr of the day, and Fajr prayer was confirmed with two rak‘ahs, so as to allow for lengthy recitation therein, hence there was no need to increase the number of rak‘ahs.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 23/114.
A similar case is the shortening of Jumu‘ah prayer to two rak‘ahs because of the khutbah. Ibn al-A‘raabi narrated in hisMu‘jam(1447) that ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her) said: Allah, may He be exalted, enjoined the prayer upon His Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in Makkah, with two rak‘ahs in each prayer, except Maghrib, which is the Witr of the day. When he migrated to Madinah and settled there, two rak‘ahs were added to each two rak‘ahs, except Maghrib prayer, for it is the Witr of the day; Fajr prayer, so as to allow for lengthy recitation therein; and Jumu‘ah prayer, in which the prayer is two rak‘ahs because of the khutbah.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It was narrated from ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The prayer was made shorter because of the khutbah. The view of ‘Aa’ishah is similar to that. Sa‘eed ibn Jubayr said: Jumu‘ah was four (rak‘ahs), then the khutbah took the place of two rak‘ahs. End quote fromal-Mughni, 2/224
And Allah knows best.

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Dought & clear, - Is it permissible to buy meat from someone who hangs up amuletsin his shop?

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I am a Muslim born and raised in the west. In my community there are not a lot of halal shops to buy meat from. Because I am in the West, there are plenty of shops owned by people of the book. I do not like to purchase meat from them because they sell pork in their shops.
The halal shop nearest to me has amulets that people here call the eye of Fatimah hanging on almost every wall. They even sell the amulets in the shop too. Does the shop owners minor shirk have any affect on the meat? Is it permissible to buy meat and other food items from them?
Praise be to Allah.
The basic principle is that meat slaughtered by Muslims and the People of the Book is permissible, unless it is proven that they mention something other than the name of Allah at the time of slaughter or that they slaughter the animal in a manner that is not acceptable according to sharee‘ah.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
It is permissible to eat meat slaughtered by the People of the Book, the Jews and Christians, if they mention the name of Allah over it as well as fulfilling all the other conditions of slaughter as known in Islam. If they mention the name of anyone other than Allah over it, such as al-‘Uzayr or the Messiah, then it is not permissible to eat it. Similarly, if they kill it by strangulation or electric shock, it is not permissible to eat it.
End quote fromFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 22/391-392
If it so happens that the People of the Book sell pork in the same shop where halaal meat is sold, the basic principle is that the place where the evil is committed should be shunned and its people should not be helped in that regard, but this does not mean that their meat that was slaughtered in the Islamically prescribed manner is haraam, or that interacting with them in general is haraam, especially when there is a need for that, and you will encounter difficulty if you stop buying from them, and there is no one else like them from whom you could buy things.
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
Is it permissible for a Muslim to buy halaal meat from a store that also sells haraam meat, if each type of meat is in a separate location and is stored in a separate fridge, and the meat is packaged separately? Is it permissible to buy halaal kinds of food from a large store, if that store also sells alcohol in a separate section of the store, and the owner of these stores is not Muslim?
They replied:
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression”
[al-Maa’idah 5:2].
Hence it is not permissible for a Muslim to help anyone in anything that involves sin and transgression or in transgressing the sacred limits set by Allah. Therefore, if the Muslim has a choice, in that there are people who sell halaal things and refrain from selling haraam things, such as pork and so on, then he should deal with him, and not with the one who sells both halaal things and haraam things such as pork, alcohol and so on.
But if that is not possible, then it is permissible for the Muslim to buy halaal meat and permissible foods from him, so long as there is no confusion between the halaal meat and the harasm meat, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you can”
[al-Taghaabun 64:16].
End quote fromFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 13/173
Secondly:
If these amulets that are hung up in the shop contain anything that constitutes shirk (associating others with Allah), such as asking of anyone other than Allah, seeking the help of the awliya’ (close friends of Allah, sometimes called “saints”) and the like, or if you know that the owners of these shops are people who practice and promote these kinds of shirk, or they believe that these amulets that they hang up can, besides Allah, bring benefits or ward off harm, then the meat slaughtered by them is not permissible, because these things constitute major shirk.
But if these amulets are free of major shirk, and it is not known that these people wear them or believe that the amulets can bring benefits or ward off harm, then the meat slaughtered by them is permissible.
The fact that a person has fallen into minor shirk – but not major shirk – does not mean that it is not permissible to eat meat slaughtered by him.
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
What is the ruling on meat slaughtered by a person who uses amulets containing words from the Qur’an or otherwise, or who ties knots with thread and so on?
They replied: Amulets are things such as pearls, sea-shells and so on that are put around the necks of children, animals, women and so on, or may also be tied to their belts or their hair, to protect against evil or to ward off harm. This is forbidden and in fact is shirk (associating others with Allah), because it is Allah alone in Whose hand is control of benefit and harm; no one else has this power.
Anyone who believes that an amulet and the like has any power to bring benefit or ward off harm is a mushrik in the sense of major shirk that puts him beyond the pale of Islam – Allah forbid – and meat slaughtered by him is not to be eaten.
Anyone who believes that it is just a means and that Allah is the One who brings benefits or causes harm, and that He is the one who brings about the effects of causes is a mushrik in the sense of minor shirk, because an amulet is not a regular means and it is not prescribed in Islam; rather it is just something imaginary.
End quote fromFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 22/433-434
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
Is it permissible to eat meat slaughtered by one who uses amulets?
He replied: That is subject to further discussion. If it is known that the one who uses amulets associates others with Allah and believes that the amulets themselves, not Allah, bring benefits and cause harm; or he relies on them instead of putting his trust in Allah; or he believes in the dead and calls upon them, seeks help from them and makes vows to them; or he believes in trees, idols or jinn, and calls upon them or seeks help from them – meat slaughtered by such a person is not to be eaten.
But if he uses them in a regular manner, and regards them as a means of bringing benefits, but he does not believe that they themselves cause harm or bring benefits, and he does not do any practices of shirk, then meat slaughtered by him may be eaten, because use of amulets in this case is a kind of minor shirk.
And Allah knows best.

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Dought & clear, - She is pregnant and she did not pray for nine months, then she repented. What is the ruling on her marriage?

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You replied to my question by giving me a link to previous answer,but please i need more clarification if you could answer in person!
On the day my father took my permission to marry me to my husband i just started praying,not all the prayers but prayed a couple of salats,i knew that some scholars said if a women dosent pray at all nikah is invalid so thats why i prayed only a day before my nikah,the day after my permission was sought was my nikah day and i prayed fajr and zuhur on my nikah day,and after my nikah in the next couple days i prayed 2/3 prayers altogether,after that my period started and than became lazy may Allah forgive me and stopped praying for 9 months of our marriage,i was lying to my husband he use to think i prayed before and after we got married but alhamdulilah i have started praying again now,i also got pregnant 2 months after my nikah when i was not praying and am still pregnant now and praying alhamdulilah,does this have any effect,is my nikah valid?
Praise be to Allah.
The scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) differed as to whether the one who does not pray is a kaafir, if he does not deny that it is obligatory. Some of them – and this is the view of Imam Ahmad and a number of the early generations – said that he is a kaafir in the sense of kufr that puts one beyond the pale of Islam, and he is to be regarded as an apostate.
The majority of scholars said that he does not become a kaafir by not praying, so long as he does not deny that it is obligatory, but he should be asked to repent for three days; if he repents, all well and good, but if he does not, he is to be executed as a hadd punishment, not on the grounds that he has become a kaafir.
The more correct view is the former, which is that the one who does not pray is a kaafir. This is the view reflected in fatwas given on this website.
See also the answer to question no. 5208
Secondly:
If a person prays sometimes and not at other times, there is a difference of opinion among those who say that he is a kaafir in this case. Some of them say that he becomes a kaafir if he omits one obligatory prayer deliberately until the time for it is over. Others say that he does not become a kaafir unless he stops praying altogether. The latter is the view favored by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him). For more information, please see the answers to questions no. 83165and 185619.
Thirdly:
If you were praying before marriage, then the marriage contract is valid, and there is no problem with it.
If it so happened that you stopped praying altogether after marriage, for a period of nine months as you mentioned, then this is subject to the difference of scholarly opinion mentioned above concerning the ruling on one who does not pray. The opinion of the majority of scholars is that the one who does not pray is not deemed to be an apostate, so there is no problem, and the marriage remains valid, especially since you repented after that and adhered to praying regularly.
But according to the view of those who think that the one who does not pray becomes a kaafir and apostate, the marriage is not completely annulled because of that; rather the matter is to be left till the end of the ‘iddah. If the partner who became an apostate repents before the end of the ‘iddah, then the marriage remains as it was. But if the ‘iddah ends (without that partner having repented), then they are to be separated and the marriage is annulled.
Rather, Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] thinks that even after the end of the ‘iddah there is still an opportunity for the partners to go back to their previous marriage contract, if the one who became an apostate repents before the woman remarries.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If both or one of them becomes a kaafir after consummation of the marriage, the matter is to be left until the end of the ‘iddah and the marriage is not to be annulled yet. Rather we should wait until the ‘iddah ends. Then if they come back to Islam, the marriage remains valid. It says inar-Rawd: If the one who became an apostate repents before (the ‘iddah) ends, then their marriage remains valid, otherwise the marriage is to be annulled from the time he apostatised.
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] has the same opinion concerning this issue as is mentioned above about the first issue. He says: Before the end of the ‘iddah, the woman is not allowed to marry someone else; after the end of the ‘iddah she may marry someone else. But if she does not want to get married, in the hope that her husband may come back to Islam, then she is allowed that option.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/249. See also:al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 7/35
To sum up:
So long as you have repented and adhered to regular prayer, and you are still pregnant and have not yet given birth, then your marriage is valid and there is no problem with it, in sha Allah.
But what really matters here is that you learn a lesson from this, which is that prayer is too important to be ignored because of laziness or one’s own whims and desires. It is the most important physical act and is the most important thing that Allah demands of His slaves after their entering His religion.
And Allah knows best.

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