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Question
One of my female cousins' was married with a man who is living inPakistan, and this marriage was based on her parents' wish. She did not like him and this man married her to get British nationality. The farewell ceremony )sexual intercourse( will take place in the end of this year, but she wants to divorce this man, so I want to know the view point of Shariah in this matter. Meanwhile she is also afraid of this husband as he might not divorce her, and the court justice inPakistanis horrible. So what can she do? Can she return him the Maher )paid( and ask him to divorce or any other way?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
If a woman does not like a man for his moral conduct or his physical appearance, it is desirable for her to be patient with this, as Allah may reconcile between the two and bring them together.
However, she can ask for a divorce, and if he refuses, then she can suggest to give him some money-in return-for the divorce. It is a Sunnah for the husband to accept the request of the wife, but he is not obliged to do so.
The evidence about this is the Hadith reported byBukhari, thatIbn Abbas)Radiya Allahu Anhu( said:'The wife ofThabit Ibn Qayscame to the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( and said: "O, Prophet of Allah )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam(, I do not blame him for his conduct or religion, but I fear to apostate from Islam )because of my uneasiness with him(." So the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( told her: "Can you give him back the garden he offered you as a dowry in exchange for the divorce." She replied: 'Yes'. Then the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( toldThabit, "Accept the garden and divorce her."
Therefore, if a woman asks her husband to divorce her due to not liking him , she is not sinful by doing so, especially if she fears not to fulfill his right. The order of the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( forThabitis an order of guidance and not an obligation.
The marriage contract is in the hands of the husband and the wife cannot break it except with the consent of the husband. So it is not sufficient for the wife to let her husband know that she has left him, or give him back what he offered her )as a dowry(; except with his consent, or an Islamic authority has to give a rule about this.
Allah knows best.
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NajimudeeN M
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Question
My problem is I couldn't get along with husband, so I left him and went to another country. Now he is refusing to divorce me and he is saying that I am the one who left so I should return every thing he did for me in the three years. We have a baby boy together but now I couldn't endure the life with him. What I can do?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Know that the husband and the wife should do their best to solve their problems and each one should fulfill the other’s rights. They should discuss their problems openly to remove any misunderstanding or conflict. The husband should make sure that his relation with his wife remains kind and serene. Allaah Says)interpretation of meaning(:And live with them honourably]4:19[.Allaah also Says )interpretation of meaning(:either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis]2:231[.
The Prophetsaid:"Accept my advice: be kind with women"]Muslim[. The wife should also keep obeying her husband. It is forbidden upon her to spend a night in the home deserting him let alone traveling to a foreign country without his permission.
The Prophetsaid:If the woman prays her obligatory prayers, fasts her month )Ramadhaan(, protects herself from Zina and obeys her husband, she entersParadisefrom any of its doors she wishes.]AhmadandIbn Hibban[. The Prophetalso said:If the woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bedroom, the Angels keep on cursing her until she returns.]Muslim[.
Having established the above, you can solve the problems with your husband by returning to wedlock life, obeying him, then asking him for Kh’ulu’.
Ibn KatheerandIbn Qudaamahsaid:The woman who hates her husband and cannot stand staying with him, is allowed to redeem herself from him and he is allowed to accept that.
Al Buhootyin ‘Kashaf Al Qina’e’mentioned that it is Sunnah for the husband to accept his wife’s demand for K’hulu’.
The evidence for this is the Hadith reported byAl-Bukhaari. NarratedIbn Abbaasthat ‘the woman ofThaabit Ibn Qayscame to the Prophetand said:‘O Prophet of Allaah! I do not reproach any bad character to Thaabit Ibn Qays as far as his behaviour or his religion. But I hate disbelief after having embraced Islam.’The Prophetsaid:"Can you give him back his garden?"She said:‘Yes’. Thereupon the Prophetsaid:"Accept the garden and divorce her one divorce".
Allaah knows best.
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Question
What is the punishment of a man who leaves his wife for a very long time and doesn't divorce her and she wants a divorce?
Thank you.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
One of the most important aims of Shariah in legislating marriage is to make affection, love and friendship prevail between husband and wife.
Allah ordered them to keep good relations and to be kind to each other. Allah says: "And live with them honorably. )An-Nisa 4:19(
There is no doubt that a husband leaving his wife without a reasonable excuse in Shariah is contradictory to this aim. This is an injustice that Allah forbade, and the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said that such injustice will be a darkness on The Day of Judgment.
Despite all this, we advise the wife to convince her husband with good manners and soft words, choosing the best time to do so, i.e. when the husband can concentrate and is very relaxed. She has to beautify herself and seek courtship in order to attract him. If she is unsuccessful despite all attempts, she can seek the help of wise and righteous people, and those who can influence him, and ultimately bring him to normal by settling their differences.
However, if all the above is with no avail, and she finds herself in hardship, and fears harm, then she can take the matter to the Islamic court, if available; otherwise she can consult Islamic Centers or organizations to lift the harm from her by admonishing and warning him or grant a divorce from him.
Allah knows best.
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