Fathwa, - Deserted her husband

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Question
My problem is I couldn't get along with husband, so I left him and went to another country. Now he is refusing to divorce me and he is saying that I am the one who left so I should return every thing he did for me in the three years. We have a baby boy together but now I couldn't endure the life with him. What I can do?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Know that the husband and the wife should do their best to solve their problems and each one should fulfill the other’s rights. They should discuss their problems openly to remove any misunderstanding or conflict. The husband should make sure that his relation with his wife remains kind and serene. Allaah Says)interpretation of meaning(:And live with them honourably]4:19[.Allaah also Says )interpretation of meaning(:either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis]2:231[.
The Prophetsaid:"Accept my advice: be kind with women"]Muslim[. The wife should also keep obeying her husband. It is forbidden upon her to spend a night in the home deserting him let alone traveling to a foreign country without his permission.
The Prophetsaid:If the woman prays her obligatory prayers, fasts her month )Ramadhaan(, protects herself from Zina and obeys her husband, she entersParadisefrom any of its doors she wishes.]AhmadandIbn Hibban[. The Prophetalso said:If the woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bedroom, the Angels keep on cursing her until she returns.]Muslim[.
Having established the above, you can solve the problems with your husband by returning to wedlock life, obeying him, then asking him for Kh’ulu’.
Ibn KatheerandIbn Qudaamahsaid:The woman who hates her husband and cannot stand staying with him, is allowed to redeem herself from him and he is allowed to accept that.
Al Buhootyin ‘Kashaf Al Qina’e’mentioned that it is Sunnah for the husband to accept his wife’s demand for K’hulu’.
The evidence for this is the Hadith reported byAl-Bukhaari. NarratedIbn Abbaasthat ‘the woman ofThaabit Ibn Qayscame to the Prophetand said:‘O Prophet of Allaah! I do not reproach any bad character to Thaabit Ibn Qays as far as his behaviour or his religion. But I hate disbelief after having embraced Islam.’The Prophetsaid:"Can you give him back his garden?"She said:‘Yes’. Thereupon the Prophetsaid:"Accept the garden and divorce her one divorce".
Allaah knows best.







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