Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Fathwa, - {Conflictsamong family members}, - Wants to marry cousin from disputing relatives




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Question
My mother and uncle had a quarrel 8 years ago. They have severed their ties thereafter. Now I want to be reunited with my uncle, I'm also in love with my uncle's daughter and I want to marry her. But my auntie's behavior is very rude. She is also the main cause of conflict. I don't think that she would agree to marry her daughter to me. I often use to go to my uncle's home to see him and his daughter. But my auntie always greets me with anger. I'm very upset about this situation. I don't want to marry any one except my cousin. Would you please help me in the light of Qur'an and Sunnah?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
First, try to reconcile your mother and her brother as soon as possible. You will get great reward for that if your aim is to please Allah by such an act. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(:}There is no good in most of their secret talks save )in( him who orders Sadaqah )charity in Allâh's Cause(, or Ma'rûf )Islâmic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allâh has ordained(, or conciliation between mankind, and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allâh, We shall give him a great reward.{]4: 114[.
You should use the wisdom and the appropriate means for this reconciliation. Remind them of Allah and tell them that whoever keeps good ties with his kinship )visiting them and doing good to them( Allah will bestow blessings upon him and whoever severs his ties with his kinship Allah will cut off ties with him; no doubt this will result in his destruction.
Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(:}Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allâh has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.{]47: 22-23[.
Abu Hurairahreported from the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( that he said:"The gates of Paradise are not opened but on two days, Monday and Thursday, and then every servant )of Allah( is granted pardon who does not associate anything with Allah except the person in whose )heart( there is rancour against his brother. And it would be said: Look towards both of them until there is reconciliation; look toward both of them until there is reconciliation; look towards both of them until there is reconciliation".
This is about Muslims in general. The rule will have greater impact if this is between very close relatives people who are linked by very close family ties like a brother and a sister.
On the other hand, if your uncle's daughter is pious and good, do not hesitate to ask her for marriage. But this should be in an appropriate way so that your uncle who is the Wali )guardian( of the girl accepts your offer. If he accepts, that is what you desire. If he refuses because of the pressure from his wife try to get somebody who has an influence on them to mediate. This might have the results you want. Anyway, know that nothing will happen except that which Allah has predestined.
We ask Allah to guide you and us to do what pleases Him.
Allah knows best.

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