Dought&clear, - He thought of becoming a Christian; did he commit apostasy?

I have been living in Britain for four years, and a few months ago I
decided to become a Christian! But I did not do it. When I made that
decision, I was saying to myself: If any of them asks me, what is your
religion, I will say that I am a Christian and that Jesus is the "son
of God" (I ask Allah to forgive me for that). But I also used to say
to myself: No; Islam is the only true religion.
Then one day I heard an exhortation of yours on YouTube, and it moved
me deeply. I cancelled that intention that I had made to become
Christian; in other words, I did not go to the church and did not do
anything of that nature.
My question is: are the words that I said to myself sufficient to have
made me become a Christian? And therefore do I have to go to a mosque
and utter the twin declaration of faith (shahaadatayn)?
Praise be to Allah
We praise Allah, may He be exalted, for having opened your eyes to the
seriousness of what you did and your decision to turn to a religion
other than Islam, and for His blessing you so that you changed your
mind before it was too late. We would like to point out two things to
you here:
Firstly:
What you did of deciding to become a disbeliever, and making your mind
up to become a Christian constitutes apostasy from the religion of
Islam, even if you did not actually enter the church or do any of the
other actions that Christians do. Merely deciding to disbelieve
constitutes disbelief in Allah, may He be exalted. The same applies to
a person's indecision as to whether he should turn to another religion
or remain in Islam.
Imam an-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Deciding to become
a disbeliever in the future constitutes disbelief in the present. The
same applies to indecision as to whether to disbelieve or not; it
constitutes disbelief in the present. That also applies to making
disbelief conditional upon some future matter.
End quote fromRawdat at-Taalibeen, 10/65. Something similar was said
inNihaayat al-Muhtaajand elsewhere. See also:Majma' al-Anhaar(a Hanafi
book), 1/688
InHaashiyat al-Bujayrimi 'ala al-Khateebit says:
Intending to disbelieve now or to disbelieve in the future constitutes
disbelief in the present, because intending to be a Muslim forever is
essential, so if he decides to disbelieve (in the future), he has
already disbelieved.
InHaashiyat al-Jamal(5/122) it says something similar.
Secondly:
It is not one of the conditions of your repentance that you should
announce that in the mosque or Islamic centre, especially since you
made that decision in your own mind and it did not result in spreading
disbelief or mischief among the Muslims. As that is the case, it is
sufficient for you to repent sincerely to your Lord, may He be
glorified and exalted, to utter the Shahaadatayn, and adhere to the
religion of Allah, may He be exalted, in all your affairs, and to
disbelieve in all other religions.
If you do ghusl before that, that would be good, in sha Allah.
We advise you to seek knowledge and devote yourself to acts of worship
and obedience, because the one who does that will increase and
strengthen his faith. You should also be keen to offer supplication
(du'aa'), for it is the weapon of the believer, by means of which
Allah will ward off evil from you and will protect you, by virtue of
your remembrance of Him, from the tricks of your enemy and His enemy.
And Allah knows best.

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