Fathwa, - Wants troubled marriage to end

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Question
Egyptian husband refuses to marry in the mosque. We are both Muslims. Keeps saying yes but never does nothing to make it happen. I went out of town for few days found he been having online sex with women from all over and some in same cityHouston. I am so hurt and disappointed I told him to leave. He did for 4 hrs then come back. He doesn't love me just the green card. He uses me to come toUSAnow I know. He says his want life with me but does other thing. He also has orders not to check his cell phone or his cell bill with codes so I don't know who he talks to. I cannot forgive him. I am Mexican who was virgin marry him with lot of love now. I feel lost and want him to just go and look for another one better since its what he is looking for always. I want to know what Islam says about infidelity in men. I feel the love that helped me bring him toUSAnow is dead. Now I see what he is really like. He has no intention of having a real life with me or marriage much less children. So I asked him to leave and want him to just go away and leave me alone. I wan to forget his name his face and never look back. I feel that only his death. Would be enough to cover the pain he has put in my heart. I am very good wife. I cook for him so much. I take care of him. I taught him English and sent him to driving school and many things to help him be good in this country. Please I want to do something to stop the pain I feel. I need prayer and advice for this to go away. The best solution is for him to leave but he won't pay for divorce he wants me to pay for it.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Dear sister, we feel deep sorrow after reading your story. It is apparent that the man is not serious in his words and actions. He neither fears Allaah nor does he respect the rights of other people as understood from the given details in your question.
As you know all the good and happiness lies in following the commands of Allaah and abiding by the rulings of Islam. Woe and destruction is for those who transgress the limits of Allaah and His Prophet.
Dear sister, it is strictly forbidden in Islam to mix with a marriageable man or to have relations or friendship with him. So, you have to cut all your contacts with him immediately if you are not married with him Islamicly. For details refer to our previous Fatwa: 84281.The conditions of a valid marriage are mentioned in our Fatwa: 83629.
If you married him Islamicly then you have to exhort him to avoid violating the rulings of Allaah such as having illicit relations with women, etc. Supplicate Allaah to grant him His fear and steadfastness on his religion.
If he neglects your rights besides violating the rulings of Islam then you may ask for divorce from him. In this matter it is better to consult any Islamic center in your area; they can provide you the proper help.
May Allaah bless you and ease your matters.
Allaah know best.








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