i have been married for 4 years and my husband is working in call
center and he is always having night duty. He is having problem with
sexual intercourse and he cannot produce children as he is suffering
from severe oligospermia and premature ejaculation and he is not at
all interested in me. And he does not want to do any treatments and he
has to give about 90% of his salary at home and other 10% he will
spend on himself. I am earning and spending my own money on my needs
since my marriage, and my husband clearly says that he does not have
money to spend on me or to his own treatment , even his parents says
that I am not having any right on my husband's salary. And I am
BEARING his treatment EXPENSES. He always spends his time with his
friends outside and does not give me his time either . He behaves with
me so rudely even his family members will treat me like a slave. I am
unable to bear this and I have decided to take Qulah from him but he
is too cunning to give me Talaq or accepts my Qulah because he is
afraid that his weaknesses will come out and he is telling me that i
should remain like this only how iam today. When I consulted our
senior person at Qazayat office they are telling that until and unless
my husband accepts my Qulah then only i will be free from being his
wife. My husband is taking advantage of this that I can't do anything
and I am in his hands only. In Shariyat office also they are telling
the same that husband should accept my Qulah. I have done every single
thing for him to have a peaceful married life inspite of all everybody
is torturing me and his behavior towards me is Very Very BAD. I can't
stay with him now. I want to ask you according to islam, can Head of
the authorities at the Qazayat office or any other head office of
Shariyat office can grant me Qulah, if my husband does not want to
accept it. Please issue me fatwa on this.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad,
is His slave and Messenger.
A husband is Islamically required to have good marital relationship
with his wife and fulfill her rights as we clarified in Fatwa 88304.
There are a number of matters which are considered as rights of the
wife among which are the following:
1- Sexual intercourse: The husband should have sexual intercourse with
his wife according to her wish and his ability.
2- Spending: The husband is obliged to spend on his wife even if she
is rich. Besides, she has the right to ask him to reimburse her for
all the expenses that she had spent on herself ]while being married to
him[; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85012. However, the wife
has the right to ask her husband for her rights, but she has no right
to object to his spending on his family.
3- Having children: The husband has no right to prevent his wife from
having children without a Sharee'ah-compliant reason.
In any case, if your husband is as you mentioned, then he is having
bad marital relationship with you and he is negligent about a number
of your rights upon him. Hence, we advise you to be patient with him
and supplicate Allaah to rectify him. Also, you should advise him in a
gentle manner and clarify to him these rights and that he is obliged
to fulfill them. You should also urge him to find a way for his
treatment whether in regard to premature ejaculation or in regard to
oligospermia. If he accepts and repels the harm off you, praise be to
Allaah, and if he refuses, then you have the right to ask for divorce
or Khul' and he should accept it. Some scholars are even of the view
that the husband is obliged to accept divorce or Khul' if the marital
relationship between him and his wife is impossible as we clarified in
Fatwa 174941.
Based on this, if your husband refuses to accept, you should take your
case to the Sharee'ah court and the judge should remove the harm off
you. He may oblige the husband to accept your divorce or Khul' as the
Sharee'ah came to remove harm, and among its known rules is that "the
harm should be removed" and this is taken from the saying of the
Prophet: "There should be no harm nor reciprocal harm."
On the other hand, we do not know whether what you mentioned is what
is applied in the Sharee'ah court in your country. In any case, if we
presume that the situation is as you mentioned, then you should look
for another means like seeking the help of some rational people from
your relatives or the relatives of your husband so that they would try
to convince him either to keep you in kindness or to release you in
kindness.
Allaah Knows best.
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