obeying her husband. This remains unless he commands her to disobey
Allaah The Exalted. She is required to obey him and exert her utmost
effort to fulfill his needs in a way that makes him satisfied and
thankful. This is supported by theHadeethwhere the Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"If the woman performs the five daily prayers,
fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her
husband, she will enter the Paradise of her Lord."Likewise, Allaah The
Exalted Says )what means(:}But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no
means against them.{]Quran 4:34[ Moreover, the Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Were I to order anyone to prostrate himself
before anyone else, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate
herself before her husband."
Obedience is the first right that Islam acknowledges for the husband
over his wife. She is required to obey him in everything unless he
commands her to do an act of disobedience. The Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No creature should be obeyed when it comes to
disobeying the Creator."
Consequently, she is required to obey him when he commands, fulfill
his request when he orders, abstain when he forbids and respond when
he advises. If he commands her not to allow a certain person, whether
he is a relative or not, aMahramor non-Mahram, to enter his home when
he is absent, she is required to obey him. The Messenger of
Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Indeed, you have a right
over your wives, and your wives have a right over you. As for the
right that you have over them, it is to disallow anyone whom you
dislike to enter your houses."
Obeying the Husband is Equal to Jihaad
There are manySharee'ahtexts indicating the greatness of the husband's
right over his wife. In aHadeethon the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas, may
Allaah be pleased with him, it was mentioned that a woman came to the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and said, "O Messenger of
Allaah, I am a delegate ]from a group of[ women and there are none of
them, whether she knows or does not know that I would come to you,
except she would want me to come to you. Allaah The Almighty is the
Lord of both men and women and their God, and you are the Messenger of
Allaah, for both men and women. Allaah has prescribed Jihaad for men
only; if they are victorious, their reward is great, and if they die
as martyrs, they are alive with their Lord, receiving sustenance. ]For
women[, which act of obedience is equal in reward to this?"The
Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, replied:"Obeying
their husbands and )being aware of and( fulfilling their rights; and
few of you do that."]At-Tabaraani and 'Abdul-Raaziq[ Here, the
Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, equated the reward
of makingJihaadto that of the wife obeying her husband.
Obedient Wives
The wife who knows her religious duties towards her husband is fully
aware of the importance of obeying her husband. Mrs. Maha Jaabir says,
"In order to provide the family with an atmosphere of security,
protection, stability and affection, the wife is required to obey her
husband in everything that is useful and beneficial. This would help
to create sound humans who would go through life far removed from
disturbances or imbalances. In return, Islam gave the woman her full
right and made it obligatory on the husband to honor his wife,
safeguard her rights and provide an honorable life for her in order to
be obedient and loving."
Mrs. Muna Al-Mu'aththin says,
If it is obligatory on the wife to obey her husband, this is only
because he bears the responsibility and she is subordinate to him. He
is a caretaker of his home and responsible for those who are under his
charge. Moreover, he is supposed to be more insightful and more
open-minded, and to know things that the wife does not know because of
his wide circle of acquaintances and his wide experience that enables
him to see what his wife does not. The wise wife is the one who obeys
her husband, fulfills his commands and responds to his opinions and
advice willingly and sincerely. If she finds something wrong in him,
from her point of view, she exchanges views with him and guides him to
his mistake with leniency, kindness and conviction. Calmness and soft
words work like magic.
The disease of conceit and arrogance may cripple a woman's heart. In
this respect, Mrs. 'Abeer Murshid says, "If such a disease reaches the
heart of the woman, it would be a great disaster. The marital
relationship would be threatened with the most dangerous type of
disputes and quarrels. The man is in charge of the family by virtue of
the role that Allaah The Almighty has granted him. If the wife tries
to change the Creation of Allaah and His norms, this would afflict her
with the most harmful consequences."
Describing the way that she treats her husband, Mrs. Leena Al-Ghadhbaan says,
If my husband calls me to obey Allaah The Exalted and the Messenger of
Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, I respond to his call without
annoyance because this is the way to salvation and forgiveness. If he
asks me to wear decent clothes and adhere toHijaab, I obey his command
because this is the way to attain success and the satisfaction of
Allaah The Almighty. I do not care about the customs of the community
as Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:}And if you obey most of those
upon the earth, they will mislead you from the Way of Allaah.{]Quran
6:116[ If he asks me to be moderate regarding home expenses, I respond
with my heart and with love and faithfulness. These are the
foundations of marital life that Allaah The Exalted Has established on
affection and mercy. I know that when my husband gets angry at
anything I might have done after advising and directing me, this may
entails the Anger of Allaah The Exalted.
Mrs. Khadeejah Hijaazi says,
One may find obedience a heavy burden; however, the wife is rewarded
according to the extent of her readiness to be obedient and her
sincerity in fulfilling the obligations of such obedience. The
Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, praised women and
clarified that the services they perform and the sacrifices they make
in terms of their emotions and energies can be made by no one else.
They were created to perform a sublime and important duty, and in
return Allaah The Exalted Has prepared a great reward for them. This
reward would not be completed except with the wife's obedience to her
husband, satisfying him and avoiding what he dislikes.
Mrs. Hanaa' As-Saalih says, "The man is in charge of the family. He
takes care of it and observes the morals of its members and its
affairs. Hence, all the members of the family are required to obey
him. He is charged with the burdens of the family and working to
provide for it and fulfill its needs. In this way, the family is
organized on the basis that there is a caretaker and a commander, on
one hand, and subjects who listen and obey on the other."
Limits of Obedience
However, the obedience that is obligatory on the wife to her husband
is not blind obedience or obedience without restrictions, conditions
or limits. Rather, it is the obedience of the righteous wife to the
righteous and pious husband whose personality she trusts and believes
in his sincerity and righteousness. Obedience that is based on
consultation and mutual understanding promotes the entity of the
family and its conditions and reinforces its foundations and strength.
The spouses are advised to consult each other with regard to all
family affairs. Indeed, there is no consultant better than a faithful
and truthful wife. She supports her husband, guides him with her
emotions, protects him with her instinct and provides him with her
opinion. The Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, would
consult his wives and follow their opinion in important matters. He
consulted his wife, Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, in a
most critical situation. Her consultation and wise opinion were
important in putting an end to that crisis and returning matters to
normality.
Finally, we find that Islam has organized the rights of spouses in
such a way that if each of them perfectly fulfills the other's rights,
he, as well as those around him, will live in a state of happiness.
However, if one of them misuses this right, the marital life will fail
as it is a partnership between the spouses. Islam acknowledges the
rights of the wife over her husband just as it acknowledges the
husband's rights over his wife. Additionally, it has clarified the
duties of each. If both of them follow the instructions and each of
them knows his Islamic rights and duties, the family will live happily
and will be encompassed by tranquility and the mercy of Allaah The
Almighty.
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