Marital Life, - Men taking charge of women

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Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Men are in charge of women by ]right of[ what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend ]for maintenance[ from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in ]the husband's[ absence what Allaah would have them guard. But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed; and ]finally[, strike them. But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand. And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Knowing and Acquainted ]with all things[.{]Quran 4:34-35[
Like other creatures in this universe, Allaah The Exalted created humans and made living with mates a part of their nature. He Says )what means(:}And of all things We created two mates; perhaps you will remember.{]Quran 51:49[ Then He ordained that the mates of the human be the two parts of only one self. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one self and created from it its mate.{]Quran 4:1[ Subsequently, He willed that the two parts of the one self gather, among the other things that He Willed, to serve as a source of its tranquility, quietness for the nerves, reassurance for the soul, repose for the body and a means to cover, safeguard and protect it. Moreover, this gathering is a source for procreation and expansion of life along with the self's ongoing progress in caring for the tranquility, calmness, reassurance and covering of the gathering place.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.{]Quran 30:21[
}They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.{]Quran 2:187[
}Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth ]righteousness[ for yourselves.{]Quran 2:223[
}O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.{]Quran 66:6[
}And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith - We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds.{]Quran 52:21[
As the two parts of the one self are equal in the sight of Allaah The Almighty and out of His honoring for humankind, He honored the woman and made the reward and compensation of her deeds equal to that of the man's. Moreover, He provided her with the rights of ownership, inheritance and independency of her civil character. Allaah The Exalted created people in the form of male and female; two mates in accordance to the general norm upon which this universe is established. He entrusted the woman with the tasks of pregnancy, birth, suckling and maintaining the fruit of her connection with the man, which is the children.
These tasks are huge and dangerous. Their requirements are neither simple nor easy to be fulfilled without a deeply-set organic, psychic and mental preparation within the entity of the female. It is fair, on the other hand, that the other half – the man – is entrusted with the job of satisfying the necessary needs and providing protection for the woman. In this way, she would be able to devote herself to her difficult job and not be overburdened with the tasks of pregnancy, birth, suckling and maintaining her child, on one hand, and working, being exhausted and staying awake in order to protect herself and her child at the same time on the other. It is also fair that both the man and the woman are endowed with special characteristics in their organic, nervous, mental and psychic formation that help each of them to efficiently fulfill the requirements of his role. This is the reality and your Lord does not wrong anyone.
Along with other characteristics, the woman is provided with gentleness, kindness, quick-excitement and the immediate response for the requirements of childhood with neither awareness nor pre-thinking. That is because all the intrinsic human necessities, even in the one person, are not left for one's disturbed awareness and slow thinking; rather the response for them was made invountary, in order to facilitate immediate fulfillment.
Indeed, the woman does so in what is coercion-like, however it is an internal coercion that is not dictated from the outside, and is mostly nice and desirable in order that her response be quick, on one hand, and comfortable, on the other, regardless of the extent of hardship and sacrifice. It is the doing of Allaah The Almighty, Who perfected all things. These characteristics are not superficial; rather they are deeply-set within the organic, nervous, mental and psychic formation of the woman. Even senior specialist scholars say that these characteristics are deeply-set in every cell because they are established in the formation of the first cell which divides and procreates in order to form the fetus with all his original characteristics.
Along with other characteristics, Allaah The Exalted provided the man with the characteristics of roughness, strength, low-excitement, unhurried response and using his awareness and thinking before movement and response. This is because all his tasks, starting with hunting - which he practiced after coming to this life, fighting - which he usually undergoes to defend his wife and children, satisfying the needs of life, as well as other tasks in this world require some premeditation before execution, and an unhurried response in general. Exactly like women, these characteristics are deeply-set in his very formation.
Such characteristics make the man more capable and eligible to take charge of the woman. Moreover, they oblige him to spend on the woman, which is one of the branches of distributing functions that makes him more entitled to this task. This is because providing for the means of life within the institution of the family and its members are included in this duty. Furthermore, supervising the disposal of wealth within this institution is a task that is nearer to man's nature and task within the family. These are the two factors that the abovementioned Quranic text highlights while it states that men are in charge of women in the Muslim community. It is a cause-based task. Some of these causes are related to formation and preparation, while others are related to the distribution of jobs and functions, and a third group that are related to equality in distribution, on one hand, and charging every part of this distribution with the jobs that are facilitated for him and he is naturally prepared for, on the other hand.
He is, in reality, entitled to take on this task as the man is ready to undergo the task of taking charge of the woman, trained on it and has fulfilled its requirements. This is because the institution of the family cannot stand without entrusting the task of taking charge to someone, like other institutions, though the latter may be less in importance and value. Moreover, while one of the two parts of the human self )the man( is prepared for this task, supported to do it and charged with its obligations, the other part )the woman( is neither prepared nor supported to do this. Therefore, it is not fair to overburden her with this task and charge him with its obligation along with her other duties. Even when she is prepared and scientifically and practically trained to do this, it will negatively affect her readiness to fulfill the obligations of the other role: the job of motherhood, as it also has requirements and preparations. Quick-excitement and immediate response come in the first place as well as other preparations that are deeply-set in the nervous and organic formation of the woman and its effects in her behavior and response.
These are very important issues. It is more dangerous if they are controlled by human whims and left for them to randomly dispose of them at will. When these issues were left to human beings during the pre-Islamic ages of ignorance as well as in the modern ages of ignorance, they threatened the existence of humanity itself and the existence of human characteristics upon which human life is established and with which it is distinguished from creatures.
The nature on which Allaah The Exalted created people already exists and governs, and its rules control human beings, even while they deny, reject its rules and try to ignore them. The following are some of the proof behind this fact:
-The confusion and corruption that afflicts the human life, along with deterioration and collapse and being threatened with destruction and stagnation every time mankind contradicts this norm. The authority of taking charge within the family was shaken, its features are confused and it has deviated from its natural and original norm.
-The woman herself looks to entrust the task of taking charge to the party that it is originally entrusted to within the family. No one can deny that she feels deprived, inferior, worried and sad when she lives with a man who neither fulfills the requirements of taking charge nor has the necessary qualifications and, therefore, he entrusts her with this task. It is an observable fact that all women admit, even the deviant among them who wander in darkness.
-The children who are raised in a family within which the task of taking charge is not entrusted to the father, either because he has a weak character in a way that the character of the mother surpasses and dominates him, or because he is absent due to death, or not having a legitimate father, it is rare that they grow as perfect human beings. It is rare that they grow without deviation to a certain irregularity in their nervous and psychic formation or in their moral and practical behavior.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M