Question
assalamualaikom,I am newly embraced in islam and marreid for the 2nd time to a divorced muslim man.He have 2kids from his 1st wife now living with us.We dont hve kids of our own since 5yrs of merriage.Back in my christian life b4,i marreid for the 1st time and hve a son but our marreige didnt last.Raising my son till he reach the of 6yrs old i leave him to the costudy of my aunt and decided to work abroad where i met this divorced muslim man.Withouth a doubt i accept his proposal,i converted and we get marreid.B4 we get marreid,me husband know that i hve a son.My problem now i about my son.My husband not give me any help or support for my son and telling me that its forbidden in islam to support any christian.Me as a mother is too hard to hear that fact.Rather he keep on telling me to bring my son here with us to live together which i wanted too but,him as a father,a husband and a man,i cannot trust my son to him,only reason why i refused to bring my here with us.He is a hot tempered man and used to beat us,me and his own kids for just simple mistakes.Not only simple beat but severely beating that i cannot imagine how a man,a father who have fear to ALLAH can do that.Please advice me what to do about my son.I insist to my husband if i can work, so i can send support to my son but he wont let me..I know wives in islam is not allowed to work. Only at home.,but what about my case? my son?Me as a mother, it hurts,because its like im abandoning my own son.....pls advicE me,i want my son to be a muslim soon inshALLAH...JAZZAKALLAH KHAYRAN
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you upon the blessing of embracing Islam as this is a great bounty that requires from a person to be grateful to Allaah for it. Among being grateful to Allaah for it, is to do all that makes you remain firm and steadfast ]on this religion[, like seeking beneficial knowledge, performing good deeds and befriending righteous and pious women.
You should know that the statement of your husband that it is forbidden in Islam to support any Christian is a statement that contradicts the Sharee’ah, as the Sharee’ah permitted us to be kind to the non-Muslims who are not belligerent to Muslims; Allaah says )what means(: }Allaah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes — from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allaah loves those who act justly.{ ]Quran 60:8[
Also, you should know that a young child is ruled to be a Muslim as long as one of his parents is a Muslim. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81957.
As regards spending on your son, then it is his father who is obligated to spend on him, and your husband does not have to spend on him unless he does so as an act of kindness, in which case he will be rewarded for doing so. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86141.
In case his father is dead or insolvent and is unable to spend on him, then it is his mother who is obligated to spend on him, as stated by the jurists.Ibn Qudaamahsaid: “It is an obligation upon the mother to spend on her child if he has no father; this is the same view of Abu Haneefah and Ash-Shaafi’i. If the father is insolvent, then the mother is obligated to spend on him, and she is entitled to ask his father to reimburse her when he becomes solvent.”
Therefore, if you have no money to spend on him, then it is not an obligation to endeavor to find work in order to spend on him and it is not an obligation upon your husband to give you permission to work.However, since your husband does not object to your son living with you, it might be more appropriate for you to accept it and be patient with your husband so that you will be able to nurture your son and guide him and educate him in a good manner; this is better than your son being with his maternal aunt especially if she is a non-Muslim.
On the other hand, a husband is obligated to have good marital relations with his wife and treat her in kindness; we have already clarified this in Fataawa 88304and 86618.
Indeed, it is a great evil for a husband to harm his wife and his children and abuse them, as this is misconduct and bad temperament. So, you should advise him in a gentle manner and supplicate Allaah to rectify him. In case you are harmed by staying with him, then you have the right to ask for divorce, so you should resort to it if you think that there is more benefit for you in doing so, otherwise you should be patient.
Allaah Knows best.
assalamualaikom,I am newly embraced in islam and marreid for the 2nd time to a divorced muslim man.He have 2kids from his 1st wife now living with us.We dont hve kids of our own since 5yrs of merriage.Back in my christian life b4,i marreid for the 1st time and hve a son but our marreige didnt last.Raising my son till he reach the of 6yrs old i leave him to the costudy of my aunt and decided to work abroad where i met this divorced muslim man.Withouth a doubt i accept his proposal,i converted and we get marreid.B4 we get marreid,me husband know that i hve a son.My problem now i about my son.My husband not give me any help or support for my son and telling me that its forbidden in islam to support any christian.Me as a mother is too hard to hear that fact.Rather he keep on telling me to bring my son here with us to live together which i wanted too but,him as a father,a husband and a man,i cannot trust my son to him,only reason why i refused to bring my here with us.He is a hot tempered man and used to beat us,me and his own kids for just simple mistakes.Not only simple beat but severely beating that i cannot imagine how a man,a father who have fear to ALLAH can do that.Please advice me what to do about my son.I insist to my husband if i can work, so i can send support to my son but he wont let me..I know wives in islam is not allowed to work. Only at home.,but what about my case? my son?Me as a mother, it hurts,because its like im abandoning my own son.....pls advicE me,i want my son to be a muslim soon inshALLAH...JAZZAKALLAH KHAYRAN
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you upon the blessing of embracing Islam as this is a great bounty that requires from a person to be grateful to Allaah for it. Among being grateful to Allaah for it, is to do all that makes you remain firm and steadfast ]on this religion[, like seeking beneficial knowledge, performing good deeds and befriending righteous and pious women.
You should know that the statement of your husband that it is forbidden in Islam to support any Christian is a statement that contradicts the Sharee’ah, as the Sharee’ah permitted us to be kind to the non-Muslims who are not belligerent to Muslims; Allaah says )what means(: }Allaah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes — from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allaah loves those who act justly.{ ]Quran 60:8[
Also, you should know that a young child is ruled to be a Muslim as long as one of his parents is a Muslim. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81957.
As regards spending on your son, then it is his father who is obligated to spend on him, and your husband does not have to spend on him unless he does so as an act of kindness, in which case he will be rewarded for doing so. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86141.
In case his father is dead or insolvent and is unable to spend on him, then it is his mother who is obligated to spend on him, as stated by the jurists.Ibn Qudaamahsaid: “It is an obligation upon the mother to spend on her child if he has no father; this is the same view of Abu Haneefah and Ash-Shaafi’i. If the father is insolvent, then the mother is obligated to spend on him, and she is entitled to ask his father to reimburse her when he becomes solvent.”
Therefore, if you have no money to spend on him, then it is not an obligation to endeavor to find work in order to spend on him and it is not an obligation upon your husband to give you permission to work.However, since your husband does not object to your son living with you, it might be more appropriate for you to accept it and be patient with your husband so that you will be able to nurture your son and guide him and educate him in a good manner; this is better than your son being with his maternal aunt especially if she is a non-Muslim.
On the other hand, a husband is obligated to have good marital relations with his wife and treat her in kindness; we have already clarified this in Fataawa 88304and 86618.
Indeed, it is a great evil for a husband to harm his wife and his children and abuse them, as this is misconduct and bad temperament. So, you should advise him in a gentle manner and supplicate Allaah to rectify him. In case you are harmed by staying with him, then you have the right to ask for divorce, so you should resort to it if you think that there is more benefit for you in doing so, otherwise you should be patient.
Allaah Knows best.
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