Rejoicing at the coming of Ramadan

All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of the Worlds. We ask Him to Bestow
much of His Peace and Blessings upon our leader, Muhammadhis family
and Companions until the Day of Judgment.
The month of Ramadan occupies a refined status in the hearts of
Muslims who believe in the One and Only Lord, Allaah The Exalted,Lord
of the Worlds. For Muslims, Ramadan is of great sentimental and
spiritual value and emotionalsignificance. It is the best month of the
entire year. Ramadan is the month of mercy, forgiveness and
emancipation from Hellfire. In it, are the last ten nights and, in
them, the best night of the year )i.e. the Night of Al- Qadr(. Whoever
makes the most of this night )by worshipping Allaah The Exalted(, will
achieve a great deal of good and reward.
This blessed month is the month of joy and bliss )i.e. of obedience
and closeness to Allaah The Exalted(. In Ramadan, many of the basic
acts of worship are performed. It is the month of fasting, night
prayers, charity andother acts of worship.
Whenever the great, blessed and noble month of Ramadan approaches, the
hearts of believers look forward to witnessing it, are gladdened by
its coming and are overjoyed as itnears. The month of Ramadan is a
great blessing from Allaah The Exalted, not only in terms of its great
and abundant reward and emancipation from Hellfire, but also because
it abounds in priceless lessons. This value is only recognized by
those who realize the wisdom behind fasting, its benefits and deep
impact on the heart, soul, body and the society as a whole.
The month of Ramadan is distinguished from other months)as being the month of(:
1. Forgiveness:
Abu Hurayrah, May Allaah Be Pleased with him, reported that the
Messenger of Allaahsaid:"Whoever observes fasts during the month of
Ramadan out of sincere faith and hoping to attainthe rewards of
Allaah, then all hispast sins will be forgiven."]Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim[
This means that whoever fasts Ramadan out of faith and hope for the
reward only from Allaah The Exalted and not to be seen and admired by
people, his previous sins will be forgiven.
2. The gates of Paradise are opened and those of Hellfire are closed:
In the first night of this month, the gates of Paradise are opened and
those of Hellfire are closed. Abu Hurayrahreported that the Messenger
of Allaahsaid:"When it is the first night of Ramadan, devils and
rebellious jinn are chained, the gates of the Fire are locked and not
a single gate is opened. the gates of Paradise are opened and not a
single gate is closed. Then, a caller calls out: 'O seeker of
good,come forward, and O seeker of evil, desist. And there are many
whom Allaah Frees from Hellfire and this is in every night )of
Ramadan(."]At-Tirmithi[ ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
This Hadeeth underlines many virtues and merits of the month of Ramadan.
3. One of the greatest acts of worship is performed in Ramadan:
This is one of the main reasons behind rejoicing at the coming ofthis
month. Abu Hurayrahreported that the Messenger of Allaahsaid in a
Hadeeth Qudsi:"Allaah The Exalted Said: 'Every deed of the son of
Aadam is for himself except for fasting because it is for Me and I
Will Reward )him for( it … Fasting is a shield )from Hellfire and
committing sins(. If one of you is fasting, he should avoid sexual
relations with his wife and quarreling and, if someone should fight
with him, he should say, 'I am fasting'. By Him in Whose Hands my soul
is, the unpleasant smell from the mouth of a fasting person is better
in the Sight of Allaah than the smell of musk. There are two joyous
occasions for the fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast
and the other when he meets his Lord, for thenhe will rejoice because
of his fasting."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
4. The believer should rejoice at the coming of this month. And they
should rejoice at such glad tidings as Allaah The Exalted Has Prepared
so much )reward( for those who fast. Sahl, May Allaah Be Pleased with
him, reported that the Prophetsaid:"There is a gate in Paradise called
Ar-Rayyaan through which none will enter but those who used to observe
fasting. It will be said, 'Where are those who used to observe
fasting?' They will get upand none except them will enter through it.
After their entry, the gate will be closed and nobody will enter
through it."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
My dear brother and sister,
The month of Ramadan creates a feeling of joy and delight in the
hearts of believers. The Messenger of Allaahsaid:"… There are two
joyous occasions for the fasting person; one at thetime of breaking
his fast and the other when he meets his Lord, for then he will
rejoice because of his fasting."]Muslim[. Ramadan is the optimal time
for Muslims to relish joy and delight. How could the believer not
rejoice at the coming of Ramadan when a gate of Paradise is opened for
him? How could a believer not rejoice at thecoming of Ramadan as he is
given a chance for his past and future sins to be forgiven? How could
a believer not rejoice at thecoming of Ramadan when he is given a
chance to be saved from Hellfire?
How could a believer not rejoice at the coming of Ramadan as thecaller
proclaims, "O seeker of good, come forward! Come forward in truth to
the Lord of allcreation and relish prosperity success and victory in
this worldly life and in the Hereafter"?There is no doubt that this is
the objective of each Muslim and the goal of all Muslims who believe
inthe One and Only True God.
How could a believer not rejoice at the coming of Ramadan nor
bepleased to have been endowed with such a divine gift, having been
granted a chance to escape Hellfire and winning the Pleasure of
Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds?
Lastly, we implore Allaah The Exalted to Bestow upon us the blessing
of witnessing this blessed month, Facilitate our fasting and prayers,
Accept our modest attempts to please Him)through good deeds and acts
of worship( and Pardon our numerous sins and misdeeds, forHe Is Able
and Competent to do that. He )Alone( Is Worthy )of thisplead( and Is
Able to bring this topass. We ask Him to Bestow much of His Peace and
Blessings upon our leader, Muhammadhis family and Companions until the
Day of Judgment. All praise is due to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds.

Ramadan and victory

Allaah The Almighty Says)what means(:}The month of Ramadan ]is that[
in which was revealed the Quran, a guidance for thepeople and clear
proofs of guidance and criterion.{]Quran 2:185[
In Ramadan, the Quran was revealed to guide people. In Ramadan, the
Muslims were victorious on the day of Badr, Allaah bestowed upon them
the favor of the Conquest of Makkah, the Battle of 'Ayn Jaloot in
which the Muslims were overwhelmingly victorious over the Tatars, the
Conquest of Amorium between the Muslims under the leadership of
Al-Mu'tasimand the Romans after a woman sought the help of Al-Mu'tasim
and she cried out: 'O Mu'tasim!' When Al-Mu'tasim heard this, he
prepared an army and conquered Amorium.
In Ramadan, Noor Ad-Deen Zangi was victorious over the crusaders,
Baibars won Antioch back from the crusaders and the Muslims conquered
the city of Belgrade. Indeed, many victories were achieved in Ramadan.
Will we make Ramadan this year the gate of returning Islam to lead the
world once more; will we make it the beginning of a path that ends
with the honor and empowerment of Islam.
Dear loved ones for the sake of Allaah, Ramadan is a month when devils
are chained, the souls of the believers are elevated, the voice of
clear truth is raised and the Quran fills the ears of the lovers, the
throats of the worshippers and the hearts of the righteous. Ramadan is
an opportunity for a new beginning. It is an open gate for a wide road
of hope. It is a well-lit lamp to help us move togetherin the path of
empowerment and place our feet at the beginningof the bridge of clear
victory; thus proceed anddo not despair.
Know dear brother and sister that victory has paths. We can start
making the victory of thenation and we can achieve victory for
ourselves seeking the help of Allaah The Exalted. Let us consider
Ramadan a motive for achieving both victories; the victory of the
nation and our personal victory. The believer rejoices at the support
of Allaah andhe rejoices at achieving victory even if everyone is
defeated. Some peopleachieve victory in spite ofthe defeat of all
those who surround them and they achieve victory in the severest and
most difficult crises.
Consider this Hadeeth, Anas ibn Maalik, may Allaah Be Pleased with
him, narrated that when Haraam ibn Milhaan, his uncle, was stabbed on
the day of Bi'r Ma'oonah, he sprinkled his blood over his face and his
head this way and then said: "I have succeeded, by the Lord of the
Ka'bah." ]Al-Bukhaari[
Look at Haram and how he achieved personal victory in the severest
situations. What is apparent is that he lost everything by losing his
life as man has nothing which is more precious than his life and
losing it means losing everything. However, he won and accomplished
victory in his personal struggle; he won a seat of honor neara
Sovereign who is Perfect in Ability. So, let us pause with ourselves
and rely upon our Lord to achieve the victory with His will; even if
everybody is defeated and even in the hardest of situations.
When 'Ali, may Allaah Be Pleased with Him and may He Please him, was
stabbed and this also took place in Ramadan, he said: "I have
succeeded, by the Lord ofthe Ka'bah", after he sawthe blood pouring
from his head to cover his honored body.
What is apparent is the loss for Muslims as he was the ruler of
Muslims and the fourth rightly guided caliph. Nevertheless, he thought
of the matter differently; he calculated it in terms of profit and
loss. Indeed,the commodity of Allaah is precious; indeed the commodity
of Allaah is Paradise. Should we not buy it and pay the dowries of the
Hoor? Ramadan has come so head towards your Lord and Patron, say
farewell to the night of heedlessness and say welcome to the day of
victory.
To faith and with faith once more.

Biographies - Imam Tirmizi

IMAM TIRMIZI (R.A) 209A.H. – 279 A.H.
ImaamTirmizi(R.A.) was born during the reign of the Abbasid Khalifa
Mamoon al Rasheed. The Abbasid Caliphate, despite its brilliant
contributions to Islaam, brought along with it many thorny problems.
Greek Philosophy had a free flow into the Islamic world. This was
fully sanctioned by the government until eventually it declared
theMu'tazila school of thought as the state religion. Anyone who
opposed the Mu'tazila school of thought would be opposing the state.
With the influence of Greek philosophy infiltrating within the people,
many Muslims began attempting to reconcile between reason and
revelation. As a result they deviated themselves and misled many
innocent weak Muslims away from Allah and His Rasul [sallallahu alyhi
wasallam]. Many scholars of Islaam had come to the fore in orderto
defend the Shariah. Forgeries and interpolations in Hadith by rulers
who wished to fulfil their personal motives was common. In the first
century Umar binAbdul Aziz(R.A.) initiated a movement for the
compilation of the Mubarak Hadeeth of Nabi[sallallahu alayhi wasallam]
as there was a fear of it being lost. Eventually this gigantic task
was undertaken by six towering scholars of Islaam. One of them was……..
Imaam Abu Isa Muhammed ibn IsaTirmizi(R.A.)
Having grown up in an environment of learning, together with
possessing many great qualities naturally drove ImaamTirmizi(R.A.) to
dedicate his life totally towards the field of Hadith. He obtained his
basic knowledge at home and later travelled to far off lands in search
of this great science. He studied Hadith under great personalities
such as Imaam Bukhari (R.A.), Imaam Muslim(R.A.) and Imaam Abu
Dawood(R.A.). In some narrations Imaam Bukhari and Imaam Muslim (R.A.)
are his students as well. Once Imaam Bukhari (R.A.) mentioned to him
"I havebenefited more from youthan you have benefittedfrom me." Moosa
ibn Alaq(R.A.) once said : "When Imaam Bukhari passed away, he left no
one in Khurasaan who compared with Abu Isa Tirmizi (R.A.) in Ilm,
memory, piety and abstinence." According toAbdullah ibn Muhammed
Al-Ansaari (R.A.), Imaam Tirmizi's Al-Jami is more beneficial than the
worksof Bukhari and Muslim (R.A.) since their compilations can only be
understood by a very deep sighted scholar whereas Al Jami can be
understood by both the scholar and the lay man. Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.)
said that he compiled this book and presented it to the learned of
Hejaaz, Iraaq and Khuraasaan and they were pleased with it. Who ever
has thisbook in his home, it is as though he has the Prophet
[sallallahu alyhi wasallam] speaking to him there.
His remarkable memory:
Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) had an exceptionally remarkable memory. If he
heard something oncehe never forgot it. Once on his way to Makkah,
Imaam Tirmizi(R.A.) met aMuhadith from whom he had previously copied
two chapters of hadith. Thinking that he had the notes with him he
asked the Muhadith if he wouldallow him to read out these two chapters
so that he may correct any errors. After realizing that he did not
have those notes with him he took a blank piece of paper and read out
the entire two parts from memory. When the Muhadith realized what he
was doing he rebukedImam Tirmizi (R.A.) saying: "Have you no shame,
Why are you wasting my time." ImaamTirmizi (R.A.) assured him that he
had committed allthe ahadith to memory. The Muhadith was not
convinced, even though he recited all the Ahadith from memory. Imaam
Tirmizi (R.A.) requested him to recite to him someother Ahadith. The
Muhaddith recited 40 ahadith which Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) repeated
without making a single error, thus showing his remarkable power of
committing Ahadith to memory.
Another incident has been recorded by Hakeemul Ummat (R.A.) inhis
Al-Misk-us-Zaki, depicting the profound memory of Imaam Tirmizi(R.A.).
He writes:"Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) had lost his sight towards the latter
portion of his life. Once whilst on a journey, at a certain point he
bowed his head. When asked as to why he did this, he replied: "Is
there not a tree here whose branches hang over in such a manner that
it harms those who are passing by." They answered in the negative. He
was quite shocked when he heard this as he distinctly remembered there
beinga tree and was worried as to whether his memory was failing him
or not. He stopped the caravan immediately andasked his companions to
enquire from the locals whether a tree had existed there or not. "If
itis established that no tree existed then I will stop narrating the
Hadithof Nabi [sallallahu alyhi wasallam] due to my weak memory." On
inquiry it was shown to them that a tree had previously existed over
there but due to it being a hindrance to travelers it was removed."
Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) had a large number of students from all over
theworld. The most famous amongst them were Haysam ibn Kulaib (R.A.),
Abul Abbaas (R.A.) and Muhammed ibn Ahmed (R.A.) Shah Abdul Aziz
(R.A.) describes Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) in the following words: "His
memory was unique and his piety and fear of AllahTa'la was of a very
high caliber. He would cry so much out of the fear of Allah, that
towards the end of his life he lost his sight."
According to Ibn Taimiya (R.A.) and Shah Waliullah (R.A.), Imaam
Timizi (R.A.) was an independent Jurist (Mujtahid). Hazrat Moulana
Anwar Shah Kashmiri (R.A.) is of the opinion that he was a Shafi.
In the year 279 A.H. in a village called Bawag at the ripe age of 70 ,
Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) left this temporary abode for the ever lasting
life of thehereafter. May Allah Ta'ala fill his Qabar with Noor.
Aameen. The enormity of his sacrifices and the extent to which he
served Deen can neverbe fully comprehended.
Many books of hadith were compiled before Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) decided
to compile His Al-Jami. Dawood Tayalisi (R.A.) and Ahmed ibn Hambal
(R.A.) had compiled books consisting of both authentic and weak
Ahadith. Later Imaam Bukhari (R.A.) compiled his Sahih Bukhari and
omitted all weak narrations from it. His main objective was to derive
masail / laws from the relevant Ahadith. Later Muslim (R.A.) compiled
his book concentrating mainly on the Isnaad (different chain of
narrators). Hazrat Imaam Nasai's aimwas to mention the discrepancies
of the hadith whilst Abu Dawood (R.A.) prepared such a book which
became the basis for the Fuqaha. Imaam Tirmizi (R.A.) had combined the
styles of Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood and Nasai (R.A.) by mentioning
the discrepancies regarding the narrators and also making his
compilation abasis for the Jurists.

Biographies - Abu Dawud

Sulaiman ibn al-Ash'ath (Abu Dawud) (r.a) – [202 -275 A.H.]
Abu Dawudwas born in Sijistan. Little is known about his early life,
but that he travelled to many regions and cities to hearand collect
ahadith from many different scholars.Abu Dawudis also a distinguished
Faqih as well as a Muhaddith. His knowledge of hadith is confirmed by
the fact that he had amassed 500,000 ahadith, 5,400 ofwhich he
selected for Sunan Abu Dawud. Hakimat- Tirmidhiwas of the opinion that
Abu Dawud was without doubt the chief muhaddith of his time.
His teachers are estimated to number more than 300. This includes ibn
Hanbal, ibn Mu'in, ibn Harab, Abd al-Wahid Tayalasi and ibnIbrahim,
who were also teachers of Imams Bukhari and Muslim.
The number of students in Abu Dawud's classes would sometimes be in
the thousands, Tirmidhi and an-Nasa'i being amongst them. Some other
distinguished muhaddithun students ofhis were: Abu Bakr ibn Imam, Abu
Ali Muhammadibn Ahmad Lu'lu'wi, Abu Bakr Muhammad and AbuSa'id Ahmad
ibn Muhammad.
Abu Dawud used to say that for one to recognise the purpose of life
and topractise religion properly, out of his sunan, 4 hadith would
suffice:
1.The reward of deeds depends only intentions
2.Among you no one will be a true Muslim unless he wishes for his
brother or his neighbour exactly that which he wishes for himself
3.The exquisiteness of ones Islamis that he avoids things that do not
concern him and leaves what is not valuable to him
4.The lawful and unlawful are made clear, but there are in between
them doubtfulthings which are not known to most of the people. One who
keeps himself away from the doubtful things, protects his deen and
honour, and he who indulges in doubtful acts commits unlawful deeds.
In the year 275A.H. in Basrah Abu Dawud departed from this worldat the
age of 73, and was buried next to Sufyan ath-Thawri. May Allah Ta'ala
fill his Qabar with Noor.
Aameen.

Biographies - Imam an-Nasa’i

Ahmad ibn Shu'aib an-Nasa'i (r.a) – [215 - 303 A.H.]
Imam an-Nasa'i was bornin the town of Nasa' in the Persian province of
Khorasan. After gaining hadith from the teachers his own city, Imam
an-Nasa'i travelled through Khorasan, Iraq, the Hijaz Syria and Egypt
gaining ahadith. Egypt was where Imam an-Nasa'i settled and
established his center for teaching and studies here.
Imam an-Nasa'i was said to have exhausted many of his days and nights
in prayers, repeatedly performed Hajj and also joined the Muslimarmy
toparticipate in battle. He was very particular of theSunnah of the
Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), had a hatred for deviation and avoided
the circles of kings and nobles.
Imam Nasa'i's status
Ibn Khallikan writes 'He was the Imam of hadith of his age.'
Daraqutni says 'He was more distinguished than all the muhaddithun of his time.'
He is well known for Sunan an-Nasa'i which is a collection of 5751
sound ahadith. In it he also describes the flaws of a hadith, exposes
any disagreements on the title, names and kunyat of narrators and
clarifies the variations between different versions of a hadith.
His teachers are many, the first being MuhaddithQutaibah ibn Sa'id al
Balkhi. Some others are Ishaq ibn Rahawaih, Muhammad ibn Nasr,
Muhammad ibn Bishr andthe famous Abu Dawud.
His students came from all over the Muslim world,and some of the more
famous of them are Ali ibn Jafar at-Tahawi, Abul Qasim at-Tabrani,
Muhammad ibn Mu'awiyah al Andalusi, Abu Jafar at-Tahani and also his
own son.
Imam an-Nasa'i travelled to Damascus, Syria in 302 A.H. where he
noticed people displaying some hostility towards Hazrat Ali (R.A). He
therefore wrote a book to honor the character of Hazrat Ali (R.A) and
started lecturing from it in a Masjid. He had only read a few lines
when he was accused of being a Shi'i and was beaten badly by a crowd,
such he received severe injuries to his body. In this state he
requested some admirers to take him to Makkah, and it was after
reaching Makkah Imam an-Nasa'i passed away.
Source: Scholars of Hadith by Syed Bashir Ali
May Allah Ta'ala fill Imam an-Nasa'i's Qabar with Noor, Ameen.

The Relationship Between Supplication and Ramadhan

Making dua is a part of the month of Ramadhan. The connection between
the noble practice of supplicating to Allah and the honored month of
Ramadhan is shown in the following ways.
The ayah of supplication is preceded and followedby ayaat of fasting
(2:183-187).
183. O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was
prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint,-
184. (Fasting) for a fixed number of days; but if any of you is ill,
or on a journey, the prescribed number (Should be madeup) from days
later. For those who can do it (With hardship), is a ransom, the
feeding of one that is indigent. But he that will give more, of his
own free will,- it is better for him. And it is better for you that ye
fast, if ye only knew.
185. Ramadhan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a
guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidanceand judgment (Between
right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home)
during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill,
or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days
later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put
to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and
toglorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be
grateful.
186. When My servants ask thee concerning Me, Iam indeed close (to
them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on
Me: Let them also, with a will,Listen to My call, and believe in Me:
That they may walk in the right way.
187. Permitted to you, onthe night of the fasts, is the approach to
your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah
knoweth what ye used todo secretly among yourselves; but He turnedto
you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek what Allah
Hath ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of
dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your
fast Till the night appears; but do not associate with your wiveswhile
ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah.
Approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to
men: that they may learn self-restraint.
The Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) said that the du'a of the fasting one is accepted.
"Indeed for the fasting person, when he brakes his fast, is a
supplication that will never be rejected."
"Three people's supplication will not be rejected: a just ruler, a
fasting person until he brakes his fast, and an oppressed person."
It is encouraged to make du'a in laylat'ul-qadr.
Aisha asked the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) "What should Isay on
Laylat'il-qadr?" And he replied,"O Allah, indeed you are a Pardoner,
and you love pardon; so pardon me."
The Prophet (s.A.w.s.) supplicated all night before the battle of
badr,which occurred during Ramadhan.
Manners of Supplication
Asking Allah alone
Do not make dua to anyone alongside Allah. (70:18)
Say (O Muhammad): I make dua unto Allah only, and I ascribe unto Him
no partner.(70:20)
The Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) said,"Dua is worship."Making dua is an act of
worship; and directing one's worship to other than Allah alone is
major shirk, a sin which nullifies the person's islam altogether.
Praising Allah at the beginning of the dua
The primary example of praising Allah before beseeching Him-subhanahu
wa ta'ala- is in Surah al-Fatiha,
All praise is to Allah, Lord of the Worlds
The Beneficent, The Merciful,
Owner of the Day of Judgement
You alone we worship
And You alone we ask forhelp
Guide us on the straight path,
The path of those You favored,
Not of the on whom is wrath, nor the astray.
The Prophet was sitting in a masjid and a man came, and prayed, "O
Allah, forgive me and have mercy on me." So the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.)
told him,"You were hasty. When you pray, praise Allah and send the
salah on me, then ask Allah."Another man cameand he praised Allah and
he sent the salah on the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.); so he(s.A..a.w.s.)
said,"O suppliant, ask Allah and your prayer will be
answered."(Narrated by at-Tirmidhi)
Sending the salah on the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.)
"Every supplication will be denied until the suppliant prays upon the
Prophet." (hasan) NB. Notevery dua should containthe salah upon the
Prophet. In fact, he (s.A.a.w.s.) instructed his companions with
several dua without the salah upon him (such as the dua of istikhara).
Repenting to Allah
Telling Allah about your situation
A mention of the mercy of thy Lord unto His servant Zakhariyyah—when
he cried unto hisLord a cry in secret, saying,"My Lord! Lo! The bones
of me wax feeble and my head is shining with grey hair, and I have
never been unblest in prayer to Thee, my Lord. Lo! I fear my kinsfolk
after me, since my wife is barren. Oh, give me from Thy presence a
successor whoshall inherit of me and inhereit of the house of Jacob.
And make him, my Lord, acceptable (unto Thee)."(Maryam:2-6)
Al-Yaqeen and full awareness ("presence of the heart")
The Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) said,"Ask Allah with certainty that He will
answer your prayers, andknow that Allah will not accept the
supplication from an absent heart."(hasan, at-Tirmidhi)
Asking Allah three times
"If you ask Allah for the jannah three times, the jannah will say, 'O
Allah, make him enter jannah.' And if you ask Allah to protect you
from hellfire three times, hellfire will say, 'O Allah, protect him
from the hellfire.'"
NB. Not every supplication should be performed thrice.
Having patience
Man prayeth for evil as he prayeth for good.[Isra:11]
Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (s.A.w.s.)said,"The person's
supplication will be answered unless he asks for sin or severing the
ties of kinship, except if the person is hasty."Thenthe Prophet
(s.A.a.w.s.) was asked about hastiness. So the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.)
described it as,"The person says, 'I asked, and I have not seen the
answer.' Then he leaves dua."(Sahih Muslim)
NB. It is not considered haste in dua to ask for a speedy answer.
Asking with persistence (Al-Ilhah ala Allah)
The Prophet (s.A.w.s.) said,"When you ask Allah, ask with confidence."
Some of the early Muslims used to say that the suppliant should be
like a child when you ask Allah, crying until you areanswered.
Asking in secret
An example of this lies in the dua of Zakariyyah,
"A mention of the mercy of thy Lord unto His servant Zakhariyyah—when
he cried unto hisLord a cry in secret."(19:2)
Benefits of this secrecy include sincerity and belief in Allah's
attributes(Hearing, Seeing, Closeness).
Mentioning the result you expect from the fulfillment of the du'a
As in the surah,
"(Moses) said: My Lord! Relieve my mind and ease my task for me; and
loose a knot from my tongue, that they may understand my saying.
Appoint for me a henchman from my folk, Aaron, my brother. Confirm my
strength withhim. And let him share my task, that we may glorify Thee
much, and much remember Thee. Lo! Thou art ever Seeing us."[Ta
Ha:29-34]
Omitting details in the actual request
Such as in the ayah,
"Our Lord, give us good in this world, good in thehereafter, and save
us from the punishment of the fire."(2:201)
Aisha narrated that the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) used to like
comprehensive supplications, and he would leave others. (Sahih, Abu
Dawud)
One of the Sahaba saw his child asking, "O Allah, give me the right
palace on the right side of jannah." So he told his child, "Do not do
that. Rather, ask Allah to enter you into jannah and to protect you
from the fire."
Tahaarah
It is better to have wudu when making dua.
Facing the qiblah
The Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.), when he climbed the Saffa and the Marwa, he
would face the qiblah and make du'a.
To ask Allah by His names and attributes
Allah's are the fairest names. Invoke Him by them.(7:180)
Raising the hands
Salman narrated from the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.),"Surely Allah is Hayyee,
and He loves to conceal the shortcomings of His servants. If His
servant raises his hands, He does not let him go empty handed."
NB. It is inappropriate to raise the hands in certainoccasions of dua
(i.e. during Friday khutbas) and sunnah upon other occasions (i.e. the
dua forrain).
Not consuming Haram
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, The Messenger of Allah said,
"Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. Allah
has commanded the faithful to do that which he commanded the
messengers, and the Almighty has said: 'O ye messengers! Eat of the
good things and do right.' And Allah the Almighty has said, 'O ye who
believe! Eat of the good things wherewith We have provided you.'"
Then he (s.A.a.w.s.) mentioned [the case of] aman who, having
journeyed far, is disheveled and dusty andwho spreads out his hands to
the sky [saying]: "O Lord! O Lord!" Meanwhile, his (the traveler's)
food is unlawful, his drink unlawful, his clothing unlawful, and he is
nourished unlawfully; so how can he be answered!
(Related by Muslim)
Thinking well of Allah (Husnu thun bi'llah)
When the wife of Imran said, "My Lord! I have vowed unto Thee that
which is in my belly as a consecrated (offering). Accept it from me,
Lo! Thou, only Thou, art the Hearer, the Knower!"(3:38)
And your Lord hath said: Pray unto Me and I will hear your prayer. Lo!
Those who scorn My service, they will enter hell, disgraced.(40:60)
An unto Thamud their brother Salih. He said, "O my people! Serve
Allah, ye have no other God save Him. He brought youforth from the
earth and hath made you husband it. So ask forgiveness of Him and turn
unto Him repentant. Lo, my Lord is Nigh, Responsive.(11:61)
Hadith Qudsi:"I am as my servants thinks of me, and I am with him
whenever he mentions me."
Asking Allah by one's good deeds
Bukhari and Muslim relate the hadith of the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) of
thestory of three men, who each supplicated to Allah by a good deed
they had done earlier in their lives.As the story goes,"Three persons
of a people before you were on a journey when they were overtaken by a
storm andtherefore they took shelter in a cave. A rock slipped down
from the mountain and blocked the exit from the cave. One of them
said, 'The only way for deliverance left is to beseech Allah in the
name of some virtuous deed.'" One of the men mentioned a good deed
which they had done for Allah, and supplicated, "O Lord, if I did this
thing seeking only Thy pleasure, then do Thou relieve us of the
distress wrought upon usby this rock." The rock moved, but not enough
to free the men. So, the other two made similar supplications by their
good deeds until the rockmoved enough to free them.
Asking Allah in times of ease
The Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) said,"Whoever is pleasedthat Allah answers
his prayers during hardships and difficulties, let him make much
supplication in times of ease."(Hasan, at-Tirmidhi)
Choosing favored places.
For example, the Saffa and Marwa in Mecca are favored places, since
the Prophet (sA.a.w.s.) made dua there.
Choosing favored times
The last third of the nightis a favored time becauseAllah descends to
the lowest heaven in that time and says, "Is there anyone asking for
something so that I may grant him."
Another favored time is between the adhan and iqamah, as the Prophet
(sA.a.w.s.) told Anas,"Supplication between adhan and iqamah will
never be rejected. So call upon Allah at that time."(Authentic, Ibn
Khuzaimah).
Another favored time is in sujud, as the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.)
said,"The servant is closest to his Lord while in sujud, so ask Allah
in that time."
Friday is also a preferred,especially in the last hourbefore maghrib.
Also, while the roosters crow, since the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.)
said,"When you hear the crowing of the rooster ask Allah fromHis
favors because it saw an angel. And if you hear the braying of a
donkey, seek refuge with Allah because it saw a devil."
Since the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) said,"Two supplications will not be
rejected: the supplicationduring adhan and under rain,"(hasan) then
these two times are preferred for dua.
Supplication on Laylat'ul-Qadr, since it is a blessed and honored
time. Aisha asked the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) "What should Isay on
Laylat'il-qadr?" And he replied,"O Allah, indeed you are a Pardoner,
and you love pardon; so pardon me."
Umm Salamah said, the Prophet (s.A.a.w.s.) entered when Abu Salamah
was dying and he was looking at the heaven. So the Prophet
(s.A.a.w.s.) closed his eyesand said,"When the soul is being seized,
the eyes follow it."Then some people from his relatives panicked. The
Prophet (s.A.a.w.s) said,"Do not make du'a except for good. Indeed the
angels will say, 'Ameen' for whatever you say. O Allah, fogive Abu
Salamah, and raise his rank, and forgive us and forgive him, O Lord of
theUniverse, and expand his grave and illuminate it."
Always remembering whom you are asking
You are asking Allah, Who loves to be asked, Who does not tire of
suppliants, and He is Closest to you.
Miscellaneous Issues Related to Dua
Making dua for others
You can make dua for Others. The Prophet, sala Allahu alaihi wa salam,
said"Whenever you make a supplication for another believer and he is
not present, an angel will say 'and same to you.'"One of the ethics
when making dua to others is that, if you are going to make dua to
yourself and others, start with yourself first, then you make dua to
others. But if you are going to make dua for others only,then you
don't have to mention yourself first. An example of starting with
one's self is seen is the verse,"And those who came after them say,
'OurLord! Forgive us and our brethren who were before us in the
faith…'"(59:10)
Wiping the face after making dua
It was never narrated that the Messanger of Allah, sala Allahu alaihi
wa salam, wiped his honorable face during Salah, such as in Witr.If
itis after Salah, the scholars of Hadith have differed in the
Authenticity of the Hadiths regarding this issue, the correct opinion,
inshallah, is thatthey are allinauthentic.Therefore it is betternotto
wipe the face after making dua. (There is a detailed research by the
Muhaddith Sheikh Bakr Abu Zaid about this issue). And Allah knows
best.
Making dua against oneself
Don't make Dua'a againstyourself or against your children.
The Prophet, sala Allahu alaihi wa salam, said,"Don't make dua against
yourselves. Don't make dua against your children. Don't make dua
against your maids. And don't make dua against your wealth. It might
be in a time in which Allah answers the prayers."(Authentic, Abu
Dauood)
Dua for victory
When ye sought help of your Lord and He answered you (saying): I will
help you with a thousand of the angels, rank on rank. Allah appointed
it only as goodtidings, and that your hearts thereby might be at rest.
Victory cometh only by the help of Allah. Lo! Allah is Mighty,
Wise.(8:9-10)
It's from the Sunnah to make dua for the Muslimsall over the world,
especially in the month of victory, the month of Ramadhan. The
Prophet, sala Allahu alaihi wa salam, made dua at the night before the
Battle ofBadr, which took place inthe month of Ramadhan, until his
upper garment fell. By dawn, he came with the glad tiding fromAllah,
tala, to the believers, concerning their enemies,"Their multitude will
be put to flight, and they will showtheir backs. Nay but the Hour is
their appointed time, and the Hour will be more grievous and more
bitter."(54:45-46)
Supplication of the Prophet, sala Allahu alaihi wa salam
The prophet, sala Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said that:"Every messenger
has a Supplication that will be accepted, and I have saved my
Supplication as a Shafaa Intersession for my Nation on the Day of
Judgment."
May Allah make us amongthose who follow and emulate His Prophet, sala
Allahu alaihi wa salam, till they receive his intersession on the Day
of Judgment. We beg Allah, tala, that He forgives the ones who wrote
this article, and forgives the Muslims among their parents. MayHe
benefit the readers, and guide them to the path of His beloved. We ask
Allah by His most beautiful names to show mercy to those who spread
guidance and stand together upon the truth. Ameen.
Subhanaka Allahumma wa behamdik. Ash'hadu a'laa ilaha illa Annt.
Astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk.

The Month of Mercy

"Ramadan is a month whose beginning is Mercy, whose middle is
Forgiveness and whose end is freedom from the fire."
-Hadith of the Prophet (pbuh)
Mercy > Forgiveness > Freedom from Fire
Ponder on the inherent logical sequence ( subhanAllah ) of the above!
We cannot be exempt from fire withoutfirst being forgiven. And to be
forgiven, we must be graced by Allah's mercy.
The first one third of Ramadan (10days ) is MERCY from Allah
1. Can we expect to receive mercy if we only deprive our bodies of
food and drink? Of course not. Because Ramadan is meant for SPIRITUAL
development through fasting. Physiologically, by fastingthe body
eliminates toxins efficiently and the mind becomes clear for"power
thinking" so that one may ponder on the meaning of the Qur'an, Hadith
and the necessity of Zhikr. One must also do some self-analysis to
monitor and correct one's behaviour if necessary. With meditation the
mind becomes quiet and so should our tongues!
2. Allah is looking for a sincere commitment fromus and not just
physical starvation till sunset and then returning to the status quo.
Ramadan does not end at every iftar. It ends only on sighting the
hilal of Shawwal. So the hard spiritual work must carry on for the
whole of the month.
3. One must plead for mercy and sincerely cry to receive it because
without it, we are stuck at stage one and our prospects of "freedom
from fire" will be bleak.
4. Therefore this stage one is for sincere confession to Allah that we
are weak and sinful and that we desperately need His mercy. We have
only about 10 days to qualify to stage two.
The second one third of Ramadan is ----- FORGIVENESS
1. We must now beg for Allah's forgiveness because we have broken so
many of His rules and covenants and disobeyedHis commands during
theyear, both knowingly and unknowingly. We must say istighfaar day
and night and ask in every sajda for forgiveness. We must be afraid
that if Allah does not forgive, we will surely be among the losers.
Here again, Allah will be assessing the degree of sincerity in
ourrepentance. He looks not for lip service but for soulservice!
2. We must also be forgiving to other people's mistakes and tempers.
The last one third of Ramadan is ......... FREEDOM FROM FIRE
These are our last ten days or so. Instead of justfocusing on Laylat
Al-Qadar (the night of power) one should intensify supplications for
the whole last third ofRamadan. If possible and affordable then do go
forUmrah ... it will be probably the most spiritually fulfilling
experience you will have,aside from Hajj. And Umrah in Ramadan is
equivalent to having done a Hajj with our Rasool pbuh! At the
completion of the last fast, be optimistically hopeful that you will
be alive to give similar piousworship during the forthcoming Ramadans.
And if you remain guidedin your life then you'll be will be admitted
to Paradise, insha'Allah, by the Ryan gate of Paradise! Indeed Allah
swt does not break His promise to his slaves.
NOTE:
The month after Ramadan isShaw'wal.
Those who fast just 6 days of this month, get the reward of fasting
the WHOLE of the year! So if one has missed fasting for 12 yrs of
his/her life, just 6 days ( in any order)of Shaw'wal fasting givesone
an opportunity to make up for our past deficiency of fasting days.
SubhanAllah , isn't Allah swt indeedSUPER-MERCIFUL?

Ramadan: the Way to Attainment

"Fasting during Ramadanis a unique opportunity to attain both peace of
mind and heart," says Imam Gayth Nur Kashif, Director of Washington,
DC's inner city Masjid ash-Shura.
Imam Kashif, who came to Islam by way of the Black Muslim movement and
was an editor of the movement's Muhammad Speaks newspaper and a
contemporary of MalcolmX, explains: "During Ramadan one concentrates
on rendering good and abstaining from the wrong. Such a pursuit
creates peaceful serenity in the hearts of men and women. Ramadan
fastingcannot be complete and in fact, the fast can be invalidated if
one fails to control his or her temper.The fasting persons are advised
to refrain from argument and to inform the other party that they
cannot continue the troublesome dialogue because they are engaged in
the sublime obligation of fasting. Without doubt a full month of such
restraint isdestined to leave its markupon our bodies and souls."
The fasting during Ramadan that requires certain restraints from dawn
to dusk, the hours when the human interaction is the greatest, is
designed to mould the lives of its practitioners.
Dr. Molook Roghanizad, amember of the Curriculum Advisory Committee of
the Fairfax County School Board in Virginia and an educational
consultant, says, "Ramadan fasting offers an opportunity forTazkiyah,
- the cleansing of the self - through its disciplinary regimen. Andon
another level, Ramadan offers a unique opportunity for synthesizing
with the lessfortunate."
She points out that the tazkiyah aspect is clearly emphasized by
Prophet Muhammad (Salla Allahu Alayhi wa Sallam) who, according to
Ka'b ibn Malik, said:
"Two hungry wolves sentagainst a herd of sheep will not do more
damageto it than a man's eagerness for wealth andprestige does to his
religion."[Cited in Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi and Abu Yahya]
"The Quran," she adds, "started to be revealed during Ramadan and it
is recommended that during this month we concentrate on the reading of
the Quran. Why? This is because during this month, we are less
involved with physical needs and have a better opportunity of
understanding the Message – the Quran, thatis. Therefore there is a
better chance of understanding the truth and reaching that spiritual
elevation that we all desire." This state of 'special elevation', she
is says comes when we elevate ourselves through understanding the true
message. "The moment you have reached the absolute truth is your
Lailut ul Qadr, the Night of Power," she stresses.
She says that the real attainment of Qadr for ordinary beings is not a
physical act, nothing sort of pulling a spiritual rabbit out of a hat,
but inreality that indescribable moment when all things become clear
to you and this moment of truth is worth one thousand months, more
than a lifetime. Considering the ambience of spirituality, there is a
chance that is other worldly experienceof a person, the Qadr, may
occur in Ramadan. The Qur'an says:"But those will prosper who purify
themselves and glorify of their Guardian-Lord and (lift their hearts)
in Prayer."(87:14-15)
Dr. Muhammad Hamidullah, 95, the eminent scholar and translator of the
Quran into French, in his monograph Why Fast? (Centre Culturale
Islamique, Wilkes Barre, PA) discusses the physical aspect of fasting.
He likens fasting to the break from the ordinary to sleeping and to
the weekend breaks in work and school. He points out that just as
sleep renovates the body, the fast rejuvenates and invigorates the
body, noting that Prophet Muhammad said, "There is a tax on
everything, the tax of the body beingthe fast."
What is fasting does to a Muslim is perhaps best explained by Jim
Quraishi, who wrote in an internet religion forum, "I am much more
forgiving and accepting of my coworkers. I am more liable to overlook
their frailties and petty jealousies. I'm like a man who knows that at
the end of the day there is a pot of gold that awaits him."
Islam does order withdrawal nor asceticism, however those who desire
can undertake itikaf, that is to confine oneself to a secluded corner
of a mosque – women can select a corner at home - during the last ten
days of Ramadan to devote their full-time to prayer and remembrance of
God. The itikaf experience can be likened to a retreat in a secluded
camp. Ibn `Umarsaid, "The Messenger of Allah [Prophet Muhammad] used
to seclude himself for the last ten days of the month of Ramadan."
Dr. Alija Izetbekovic, former President of Bosnia, (Islam Between East
& West, American Trust Publications, p. 210)says: "The Islamic fast
which is the union of asceticism and joy – and even pleasure in
certain cases – is the most natural and most radical educational
measure thathas ever been put into practice. It is equally present in
the king's palace and the peasant's hut, in a philosopher's home and a
worker's home. Its greatest advantage is that it is really practiced."
The fasting during Ramadan has been ordained for Muslims as fasting
had been ordained for people that preceded them. Prophet Muhammad,
addressing his companions on the last day of Sha`ban, the preceding
month, said:"Opeople! A great month has come over you; a blessed
month; a month in which is a night better than a thousand months;
month in which Allah has made it compulsory uponyou to fast by day,
and voluntary to pray by night. Whoever draws nearer (to Allah) by
performing any of the (optional) good deeds in (this month) shall
receive the same reward as performing an obligatorydeed at any other
time, and whoever discharges an obligatory deed in (this month) shall
receive the reward of performing seventy obligations at any other
time. It is the month of patience, and the rewardof patience is
Heaven. It is the month of charity, and a month in which a believer's
sustenance is increased. Whoever givesfood to a fasting person to
break his fast, shall have his sins forgiven, and he will be saved
from the Fire of Hell, and he shall have the same reward as the
fasting person, without his reward being diminishedat all."[Narrated
by Ibn Khuzaymah]

Fathwa - Should I Pray 20 Rak'ahs With The Imaam Or 8?

Question:
If I pray in the masjid and the Imaam prays twenty rak'ahs, should I
complete twenty along with him or should I prayeight rak'ahs along
with him and then pray witr alone and leave?
Answer:
I advise that you pray 20 rak'ahs and you pray the witr alone.
Following the Sunnah is more deserving, for indeed the Prophet,
salallaahu 'alaihi wasallam, said:Pray like you have seen me pray.

Fathwa - Fasting after the journey has finished

Question:
A traveller breaks his fastduring his journey and when he reaches his
place of residence, does he refrain (from eating) or is there no
objection to eating, and what is the evidence?
Answer:
Breaking of the fast (ie eating) during the journey is
arukhsah(concession) which Allaah has made for creating ease for His
Servants. So if the reasonfor the concession falls away, then the
concession falls away along with it. So whoever arrives at his town
from his journey inthe day must refrain (from eating) in order tofall
under the generality of His Statement, the Exalted:
So whoever of you witnesses the month (of Ramadaan) then he should
fast.Soorah al Baqarah (2) aayah 185
And with Allaah is thetawfeeq. And may peaceand blessings be upon our
Prophet Muhammad and his family and his Companions.

Fathwa - The obligation of fasting even when work circumstances are not conducive to fasting

Question:
I am a soldier, and the month of Ramadaan came upon me, so is it
permissible to not fast knowing that the circumstances (at work) do
not help/aid me uponfasting?
Answer:
It is not permissible for you to not fast in Ramadaan if you are a
person who is required to fast, unless you are a traveller or are
suffering from an illness with which you do not have the strength to
fast – according to His Statement, the Exalted:
So whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number (of days of missed
fasting) must be (made up) from other days.Soorah al Baqarah (2) aayah
185
And He has not placed upon you in the religion any hardship.Soorah al
Hajj (22) aayah 78
Allaah does not burden asoul beyond its capacitySoorah al Baqarah (2) aayah 286
And according to the statement of the Prophetsal Allaahu alaiyhi wa sallam:
If I command you with a matter, then do as much of it as you can.
And with Allaah is thetawfeeq. And may peaceand blessings be upon our
Prophet Muhammad and his family and his Companions.

Restoring and maintaining intimacy in marriage

Couples can return to the state ofintimacy from conflict, if, and only
if, they stop hurting each other and return to meeting eachother's
emotional needs again.
What is intimacy?
Intimacy is closeness to each other. In an intimate state, spouses
communicate smoothly, rush to do whatever it takes to make each other
happy, and avoid what might upset or annoythe other. Couples can
achieve this state only through meeting each other's psychological,
emotional and physical needs.
Reviving and maintaining intimacy: Mainstream-counseling perspective
From Dr. Harley's research and experience in trying to save marriages
through counseling, he concluded that couples negotiate from one of
three states of mind, each having its own unique negotiating rules and
its own unique emotional reactions. He called these states of mind,
'intimacy', 'conflict' and 'withdrawal'.
Couples can return to the state ofintimacy from conflict, if, and only
if, they stop hurting each other and return to meeting eachother's
emotional needs again. The first and most important concept that Dr.
Harley produced to help couples understand the rise and fall of
romantic love is"the Love Bank Account". In his study of what it takes
to build love bank accounts, he learned that habits were much more
important to consider than isolated instances of behavior. Habits that
deposit love units build very large love bank balances because they
are repeated over and over almost effortlessly. Isolated behaviors, on
the other hand, usually do notaffect the love bank much. Similarly,
habits that withdraw love units tend to destroy love bank balances
because they are also repeated almost effortlessly. In marriage, one
of the most destructive behaviors is an angry outburst, where one
spouse intentionally tries to hurt the other one, causing massive love
bank withdrawals.
As a starting point to build the love bank balance, dr. Harley
encourages spouses to get into the habit of doing whatever it takes to
make each other happy)deposit love units(, and avoid habits that make
each other unhappy )withdraw love units(. Through his counseling
experience, he proved the success of his approach in saving marriages
and restoring intimacy. As soon as he realized that a large love bank
balance triggered the feeling of love, he tried to discover what
spouses could do for each other that would make the largest love bank
deposits. "What could your spouse do for you that would make you the
happiest?" He asked each couple that he counseled, and then he
compiled the answers he had in a set of audiotapes that teaches what a
husband needs from his wife andwhat a wife needs from her husband.
Reviving and maintaining intimacy: Islamic perspective
As committed Muslims who believe that the Islamic message is the
absolute final truth that provides the cure for every ailment and
grants the ultimate happiness in both this life and eternal life, we
weigh any information or research findings with the message of Islam
to accept what is compatible and reject what contradicts any of
Islam's teachings. Dr. Harley's recommendations in the twenty first
century were not any different from what Allaah Almighty, and his
Messengertaught us fourteen hundred yearsago.
Marriage unites the souls
The Quran emphasizes the essential unity of men and women in the most
beautiful metaphor for intimacy. Allaah Says )what means(:"…They are
clothing for you and you are clothing for them…"]Quran 2: 187[
Just as a garment hides our nakedness, so do husband and wife, by
entering into the relationship of marriage, secure each other's
chastity, and cover each other's faults. The garment gives comfort,
grace and beauty to the body; so does a husband find comfort in his
wife's company and she in his.
The Quran has given the comprehensive description of intimacy in
marriage, and considered it one of His Signs. Allaah Says )what
means(:"And ofHis signs is that He created for you from yourselves
mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you
affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give
thought."]Quran 30: 21[
Islamic tips to restore and maintain intimacy in marriage
Islam gave us detailed instructions that identify rights,
responsibilities and characters of both husband and wife to build
their relationship on mutual love,respect, and mercy. Here are the
most important tips that lead to a successful and happy marriage.
1. Faith:Common faith binds the couple strongly. Since Islam is a way
of life, it becomes an integralpart of a Muslim's life. Couples with
strong faith will share the same values and the frame of reference and
communicate smoothly and effectively. Faith plays an essential role in
developing a loving relationship.
Couples who work on strengthening their faith, for example by
performing the Prayer, reading Quran, and seeking Islamic knowledge
together, become closer. They love and please Allaah through loving
and pleasing each other. The commitment couples make to Allaah are
excellent facilitatorsfor enhancing their family's spiritual
development and commitment to Allaah and His Religion.
2. Forgiving:When the Prophetsaid to his Companions:"Do you wish that
Allaah should forgive you?"They said, 'of course, O Prophet of
Allaah.' Heresponded:'Then forgive eachother.'"
One of the main components of ahappy marriage is forgiveness. It is a
challenge not to blame and to move past an incident when one hurts the
other. This can onlyhappen if we are not too proud to ask for
forgiveness and we are not too stingy to forgive.
3. Friendship:A relationship based on friendship is more able to
withstand outside pressures. We mean the friendship that is based on
honor, trust, respect, acceptance and care for each other, in spite of
our differences.
4. Feelings:The Prophetstated that Allaah forgives all sinsif we
repent but not those we have committed against others, i.e., hurt
their feelings unless the person we have hurt forgives first. Couples
must be very carefulnot to hurt the feelings of each other and if they
inadvertently do, they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one
does love will leave this world, is it notbetter to make amends when
wehave the time?
5. Openness:Marital relationship is where the partners must feel safe
to speak their mind honestlywith due consideration to the other's
feeling, without compromising their own views. When the communication
is not sincere it hinders the development of closeness and deep
understanding of each other's inner self.
6. Flattering:Paving compliments and indulging in honest flattery isa
very inexpensive way to win your spouses heart. Everyone likes to be
appreciated and noticed. So being scant with compliments is actually
deprivingone of being appreciated in return.
7. Unconditional giving:The heartdoes not put conditions or make
stipulations. It gives without expecting anything in return, but such
selfless giving is always rewarded tenfold.
8. Fallibility:When couples start to demand the impossible they must
remind themselves that only Allaah is Perfect.

Benefiting from our time

Allaah the Almighty and His Messenger, Prophet Mohammadvery clearly
tell us the value oftime, why we must not waste it and how we can make
use of our time wisely to increase our faith and thus attain success,
especially eternal success in the Hereafter.
Both the Quran and the Sunnah enjoin Muslims to be conscious ofthe
great importance of time. Weare reminded that life in this world is
nothing but temporary. We never know when death has been appointed for
us. We must value time for the satisfaction of Allaah. For our
guidance and success, we must never waste time nor abuse it.
Allaah, Almighty, swears in the beginning of many chapters by time or
moments in time, for example:
Allaah Says )what means(:"By time…"]Quran 103: 1[ And )what means(:"By
the dawn and ]by[ ten nights)i.e., the first ten days of the month of
Dhul-Hijjah(…"]Quran 89: 1-2[ And )what means(:"By the night when it
covers, and ]by[ the day when it appears."]Quran 92: 1[ And
)whatmeans(:"By the morning brightness; and ]by[ the night when it
covers with darkness…"]Quran 93:1[
The Prophetsaid:"There are two blessings which many people lose: )They
are( health andfree time for doing good."]Al-Bukhaari[
When Allaah swears by something of His creation, it directs our
attention to the benefit of that thing. Allaah Says)what means(:"And
He subjected for you the sun and the moon, continuous ]in orbit[, and
subjected for you the night and the day. And He gave you from all you
asked of Him. And if you should count the blessings of Allaah, you
could not enumerate them…"]Quran 14: 33-34[
And )what means(:"And it is He Who has made the night and day in
succession for whoever desiresto remember or desires gratitude."]Quran
25: 62[
The Prophetsaid:"A servant of Allaah will remain standing on the Day
of Judgment till he is questioned: about his age and how he spent it;
about his knowledge and how he utilized it; about his wealth from
where he acquired it and in what)activities( he spent it; and about
his body as to how he used it."]At-Tirmithi[
Time must be spent to fulfill our very purpose in life that is to
worship Allaah all throughout our lives. Allaah Says )what means(:"And
I )Allaah( did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me
)Alone(."]Quran 51: 56-58[
If we do not use our time effectively for something good, then we will
definitely use it for something bad, which destroys our rewards and
our lives.
Everything we do in accordance with Islam is an act of worship. Such
worship must be done sincerely for the sake of Allaah alone. We should
make use of our time in doing beneficial thingsdoing good deeds in
orderwe earn the pleasure of Allaah and the pleasures of eternal
Hereafter.
We should prefer that which is everlasting to that which will pass
away. Yet, this doesn't meanthat we should leave the life of this
world aside completely and spend every moment of our day in prayer!
No, not at all, for worship is not confined to just acts of prayer,
fasting and charity.
Verily, with the right intentions, correct knowledge and sincere heart
we can earn reward and worship Allaah through most, if not all of our
daily actions. We profit from our time when we take permissible acts
such as eating, taking care of children, etc., and make them a source
of reward by making intention for the sake of Allaah and follow the
Sunnah )way( of Prophet Muhammedfor each occasion.
We should try to make a short revision at the end of each day about
what we did during that day. Ask ourselves: What did I do today? And
what did I do that repentance for the bad things that we have done and
determine sincerely not to repeatsuch things.
We have to make use of our time wisely by knowing more of the Quran
and the Sunnah. We must have correct knowledge of what Allaah and His
Messengerhave commanded us to do and atthe same time to refrain from
what they have forbidden us. Allaah Says )what means(:"O you who have
believed, obey Allaah and obey the Messenger and do not invalidate
your deeds."]Quran 47: 33[
Here are some tips that help benefiting from our time:
1. Acquiring knowledge sincerely for the sake of Allaah.
2. Abstaining from all sins.
3. When committing any sin, we should repent immediately and determine
not to repeat it.
4. Keeping away from harming others, slandering, backbiting etc.
5. Not laughing excessively nor talking excessively.
6. Always being mindful of the rules of the Sharee'ah )Islamic Law( in
everything we do.
7. Staying far from the irreligious people.
8. Offering prayer on the proper time and with great concentration.
9. Occupying oneself in the remembrance of Allaah.
10. Setting aside specific times for different tasks and abiding
strictly to these times.
11. Helping and benefiting others irrespective of whether it is in
worldly affairs or religious matters.
12. Being in the service and company of guests, travelers, strangers,
scholars, and the piousservants of Allaah.
13. Fearing Allaah all the time.
14. Remembering death.
15. Setting aside a certain time daily wherein we should think about
all our actions for that day.When we remember any good action, express
gratitude to Allaah. When we remember any evil action, repent.
16. Living with bashfulness, modesty and forbearance.
17. Making Du'aa )supplication( toAllaah to keep us steadfast on the
straight path.
When it is time for anyone of mankind to die, he will ask for more
time to do good deeds, as Allaah Says )what means(:"They will cry out
therein, 'Our Lord, remove us; we will do righteousness – other than
what we were doing!" But did We not grant you life enough for whoever
would remember therein to remember, and the warner had come to you? So
taste ]the punishment[, for there is not for the wrongdoers any
helper."]Quran 35: 37[

How to achieve humbleness

Islam highly commends humbleness and simplicity and reckons that as
one of the traits of a true believer. The Prophetsaid:"Al-Kibr )proud
and arrogance( is rejecting the truth and looking down upon
people."]Muslim, At-Tirmithi and Abu Daawood[
Humility is for one who is important and significant and he fears to
gain notoriety or to become too great among people.As it was said,
"Humble yourself, you will be as a glimmering star to the viewer on
the surface of the water even if it is lofty." We don't say to an
ordinary person,"Humble yourself." But it is said tohim, "Know the
value of yourself, and do not place it in the wrong place!"
It was narrated by Al-Khattaabiin Al-Uzlahthat Imaam `Abdullaah ibn
Al-Mubaarakcame to Khuraassaan ]in Persia[ and went to a person who
was known for his Zuhd and Wara']asceticism and cautiousness in
piety[, so when he entered wherethe man was, he )the man( did not turn
around nor give him anyconsideration at all.
When 'Abdullaah Ibn Al-Mubaarakleft, some of the people who were
inside with the man said to him, "Don't you know who he was?!"He said,
"No." He was told, "This is the 'Ameer of the believers...`Abdullaah
Ibn Al-Mubaarak." So the man was astonished and came out to 'Abdullaah
Ibn Al-Mubaarak in a hurry apologizing and absolving himself from what
happened, saying, "O Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan! Forgive me and advise me!"
Ibn Al-Mubaarak said, "Yes... whenever you come out of your house and
see someone, assume that he is better than you!" He knew that the man
was conceited. When 'Abdullaah Ibn Al-Mubaarakinquired as to what the
man's profession was, he found out that he was a weaver!! Therefore,
this educatedImaam noticed that this Mutazahhid )devoted pious person(
possessed a kind of arrogance, conceitedness and feeling of
superiority over others.
This disease sometimes envelops pious people; this is why he was
offered advice that was easy for him. Many times we find this
characteristic in some pious people, as well as some callers toIslam.
But when it reaches the small students who misbehave with their
scholars and teachers, this really hurts inside! There is no objection
if you differ in opinion or judgment with a scholar as long as you are
qualified to do so. The problem occurs when this difference of opinion
becomes a destructive element to the scholar's dignity, diminishes his
value, disregards and disrespects him.
One should humble himself with his companions. Frequently whenthe
spirit of competition and envy is agitated between companions and
rivals, a person may feel superior over his companion, he may be
pleased byharming him, degrading his valueand importance, accusing him
of defects or exaggerating his faults; faults that may have come to
light when seeking advice, or correction. In reality this is called
jealousy.
Humility is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find
someone who is younger than you, or of less importance than you, you
should not despise him, because he might have a better heart than you,
or be less sinful, or closer to Allaah than you. Even if you see a
sinful person and you are righteous, do not act with arrogance towards
him, and thank Allaah that He saved you from the tribulation that He
put him through. Remember that there might be some Riyaa')showing off(
or vanity in your righteous deeds that may cause them to be of no
avail, and that this sinful person may be regretful and fearful
concerning his bad deeds, and this may be the cause of forgiveness of
his sins.
According to Jundubthe Messenger of Allaahmentioned that a man said,
"By Allaah, Allaah will not forgive so-and-so," and that Allaah
said:"Who is swearing by Me that I will not forgive so-and-so? I
surely have forgiven so-and-so and nullified your
deeds."]Muslim[.Therefore, do not act in arrogantly towards anyone.
Even when you see a sinner, do not show superiority towards him, nor
treat him with arrogance anddomination. If you feel that the sinner
may perform some acts of obedience which you do not, and that you may
also posses some defects which the sinner may not, then deal kindly
with him, and gently give Da`wah which will hopefully be the cause of
his acceptance and remembrance.
Your deeds also should not become too great in your eyes. If you do a
good deed, or attempt to get closer to Allaah through anact of
obedience, your deed still may not be accepted. Allaah Says what
means:"…Indeed, Allaah only accepts from the righteous]who fear
Him[."]Quran 5:27[This is why some ofthe Salaf)predecessors( said, "If
I knew that Allaah accepted one Tasbeeh)saying "Subhaanallaah"( from
me, I would have wished to die right now!"
The arrogant person never gives credit to anybody or mentions good
about someone, and if he needed to do so, he would also mention
defects of that person. But if he hears somebody reminding him about
his own defects, he will not be flexible nor comply due to his
inferiority complex. This is why it is among man's moral integrity to
accept criticism or comment without any sensitivity or discomfort or
feelings of shame and weakness. Here he is, the 'Ameer of the
Believers `Umarraising the flag and lifting the motto, "May Allaah
have mercy on a person who informed us of our defects."

Dought & clear - He travelled to a house of his in Madinah and had intercourse during the day in Ramadan without ejaculating

I was on leave and I travelled to Makkah to do 'Umrah, then I went to
al-Madinah al-Munawwarah, where I had intercourse with my wife during
the day in Ramadan, but there was no ejaculation. Do I have to do
anything? If Ihave to do something, as far as I know it is, in order,
to free a slave, which I cannot do because I do not have enough money;
or to fast for two consecutive months, which I cannot do because of
the circumstances of my work in the field, and with the summer heat it
is too difficult for me to fast. Can I feed sixty poor persons, and
does my wife have to do the same thing because she was willing? Please
notethat we have a house in al-Madinah al-Munawwarah and I am a
resident of Riyadh;I go there when I am on leave.
Praise be to Allah.
Whoever has intercoursein the day in Ramadan when he is fasting and
isnot travelling has to offer a severe expiation, which is to free a
slave. If he cannot do that, then he has to fast for two consecutive
months.If he is not able to do that, then he has to feed sixty poor
persons. He also has to repent and make up that day. The same is
required of the wife if she was willing. Itmakes no difference whether
ejaculation occurred or not; if intercourse, i.e., penetration,
occurred, then expiation must be offered.
If they were travelling, then there is no sin and they do not have to
offerexpiation or refrain from eating and so on for the rest of the
day. Rather they have to make up that day, because fasting was not
obligatory for them.
If you are a resident of Riyadh and you have a house in Madinah that
you go to when you are on leave, then when yougo to Madinah you
comeunder the same ruling asthose who reside there, and you have to
fast andoffer the prayers in full, and it is haraam for you to break
the fast by having intercourse and so on, and you have to offer
expiation for having intercourse.
But if you went to Makkah, for example, then you do not come under the
same ruling asthose who reside there, unless you intended to stay
there for more than four days. If you intended to stay there for less
than that, then you come under the ruling on travelers.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was
asked: A man travelled from one city to another,and he owns a house in
the city to which he travelled; should he offer the prayers in full or
can he shorten them?
Shaykh: But is he a resident in that city? For example, does he stay
for two or three months in one, then two or three months on the other,
or what?
Questioner: He travels there during the summer vacation.
Shaykh: He goes there during the summer?
Questioner: Yes.
Shaykh: Then he should not shorten his prayers, because in fact he has
two homes.
End quote fromLiqa' al-Baab al-Maftooh, 25/162
Based on that, if your breaking the fast happened before you entered
Madinah, there is no sin on you for whatyou did, and all you haveto do
is make up that day, because you broke the fast because of travelling.
But if your breaking the fast happened after you had entered Madinah,
then you have to offer expiation.
Our advice to you is to try to fast the two consecutive months on cold
or moderate days when the day is shorter and there will be less
difficulty involved, or during the days of annual leave from work and
other times when you have the opportunity to do what is required of
you. If youare genuinely unable to fast, then it is permissible for
you in that case to feed sixty poor persons, giving them one meal, or
giving several meals until you complete the number required.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear - He broke the fast at home before travelling, then he had intercourse with his wife; what doeshe have to do?

I was going to travel on a particular day, so I broke the fast in my
house then I had intercourse with my wife. What do I have to do?
Please note that I thought that the expiation was to make up that day
only, I did not know that it is fasting for two consecutive months or
feeding ten poor persons.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The evidence from the Qur'an and Sunnah, and scholarly consensus,
indicates that the traveller may break the fast of Ramadan, then make
up the number of days that he did not fast.Allah, may He be
exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):"and whoever is ill or on
a journey, the same number (of days which one did not observe Saum
(fasts) must be made up) from other days" [al-Baqarah 2:185].
If a person is in his home, then he decides to travel, he is not
called a traveller until he has passed beyond the built-up area of his
city. So it is not permissible for him to avail himself of the
concessions of travel,such as not fasting and shortening the prayers,
just because he has the intention of travelling. That is because
Allah, may He be exalted, has only made breaking the fast permissible
for the traveller, and he is not a traveller until he has passed
beyond (the boundary) of his city.
Ibn Qudaamah said inal-Mughni(4/347), after mentioning that the onewho
travels during the day may break the fast:… it is not permissible for
him to break the fast until he has left the houses behind, i.e., he
has passed beyond themand emerged from the built-up area. Al-Hasan
said: He may break the fast in his house, if he wishes, on the day
that he is going to depart. Something similar was narrated from 'Ata.
Ibn 'Abd al-Barr said: The view of al-Hasan is an odd (shaadhdh) view;
no one who is not travelling has no right, on the basis of either
rational thinking or reports, to break the fast; and the opposite was
also narrated from al-Hasan.
Then Ibn Qudaamah said: (That is also) because Allah, may He
beexalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):"So whoever of you
sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadan i.e.
is present at his home), he must observe Sawm (fasts) that month"
[al-Baqarah 2:185]. This one who is present at his home (andis not
travelling) is not described as a traveller until he has left the
city. So long as he is in the city, he comes under the heading of
those who reside there (and are nottravelling), hence he may not
shorten the prayers. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a
man who decided to travel, and hebroke his fast at home because he was
unaware (of the ruling), then he set out. Does he have to offer
expiation?
He replied: It is haraam for him to break the fast when he is in his
house, but if he broke the fast before leaving his house, then he only
has to make up the fast. End quote fromFataawa as-Siyaam, p. 133
Secondly:
The one who has intercourse during the day in Ramadan when he is
fasting and not travelling has to offer a heavy expiation, which is to
free a slave; if that is not possible then he has to fast for two
consecutive months; if he is not able to do that, then he has to feed
sixty poor persons. He also has to repent and make up that day.
His wife also has to do the same if she was willing. It makes no
difference whether ejaculation occurred or not; if intercourse, i.e.,
penetration occurred, then expiation must be offered.
Thirdly:
The kind of ignorance for which one may be excused is ignorance of the
ruling. If a person failed to do an obligatory duty and did not know
that it is obligatory, or he did something forbidden and did not know
that it is forbidden, this is the one who is ignorant andmay be
excused for his ignorance.
You may only be excusedin your case if you did not know that this
action of yours was haraam in the first place,or you thought that the
one who has decided to travel can do that when he is still in his
house.
But in the case of one who knew that this action is forbidden, and he
did it but was unaware of the punishment that results from it, this is
not regarded as an excuse, because in this case the person went ahead
and committed the sin and transgressed the sacred limits knowingly.
Hence in the case of the Sahaabi who had intercourse with his
wifeduring the day in Ramadan, the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) instructed him to offer expiation, and he did not
let him off because of his ignorance of (the punishment), as was
narrated by al-Bukhaari (1834) and Muslim (1111), because he had done
it deliberately, knowing that it was forbidden. This was stated by
al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar inal-Fath(4/207), based on the fact that hesaid "I
am doomed" or "Iam burnt".
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If someone were to say: Wasn't the man who came to the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) ignorant?
The answer is: He was ignorant of what he wasrequired to do (after
breaking the fast); he was not ignorant of the fact that it was
haraam. Hence he said "I am doomed." If we say that ignorance is an
excuse, we are not referring to ignorance of the consequences of this
haraam action; rather what we are referring tois ignorance of whether
this action is haraam or not. … Ignorance of the consequences of the
haraam action is not an excuse; ignorance of whether the action is
haraam or not is an excuse.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti', 6/417
To sum up:
You have to make up that day, and you have to offer expiation, so long
as your breaking ofthe fast occurred when you had not yet begun your
journey.
Our advice to you is to try to fast the two consecutive months on cold
or moderate days when the day is shorter and there will be less
difficulty involved, or during the days of annual leave from work and
other times when you have the opportunity to do what is required of
you. If youare genuinely unable to fast, then it is permissible for
you in that case to feed sixty poor persons, giving them one meal, or
giving several meals until you complete the number required.
Your wife also has to fast, and if she is not able to, she should feed
sixty poor persons and not ten poor persons as mentioned in the
question.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear - Ruling on using medicinal gel through the nose when fasting

I suffer from an allergy in the nose. I have read the questions having
to do with taking medication in the form of a nasal spray whilst
fasting, and you stated that it does not invalidate the fast. But my
question has to do with another kind of medicine, which is in the form
of a gel that is taken through the nose.Does taking it invalidatethe
fast?
Praise be to Allah.
The Prophet's Sunnah indicates that the nose may lead to the
stomach.The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Exaggerate in rinsing the nose (when doing wudoo') unless you are
fasting." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 142; at-Tirmidhi, 788. Classed as
saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani inSaheeh Sunan Abi Dawood.
If the gel that is taken through the nose does not reach the throat or
stomach, rather it is absorbed through the nose, then the fast is
valid.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
There is nothing wrong with using creams that moisten the lips and
nose, or dampening it with water or with a wet cloth and the like, but
you should take carenot to let any of that moisture reach the throat
or stomach. If anything does reach it without you intending itto, then
you do not haveto do anything, such as ifyou wash inside your mouth
and the water reaches the throat without you intending itto. That does
not break the fast.
End quote fromMajmoo' Fataawa Ibn 'Uthaymeen, 19/224
We ask Allah to heals youand all the sick Muslims, and grant you well-being.
And Allah knows best.

A Sweet True Love Story, True Love Relationship Advice

From the very beginning,girl's family objected strongly on her seeing
this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, and
that thegirl will have to suffer forthe rest of her life if she were
to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the
girl loved the guy deeply,she always asked him:"How deep is your love
for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this oftencaused the girl to be
veryupset. With that and the family's pressure, the girl often vents
her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduatedand decided to
further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl:
"I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If
you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for
your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"
The girl agreed, and withthe guy's determination, the family finally
gave in and agreed to let them get married. So before heleft, they got
engaged.
The girl went out to the working society, whereasthe guy was overseas,
continuing his studies. They use to exchange their love through
emailsand phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of
giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down
by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents
beside her bed. She realized thatshe was badly injured. Seeing her mum
cry, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could
come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She had lost her voice...
The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice.
Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out
fromher, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silent
cry, it's still just silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching
home, everything seems to be the same, except for the ringing tone of
the phone which pierced into her heart every time it rang.
She does not wish to let the guy know and not wanting to be a burden
to him, she wrote a letterto him saying that she does not wish to wait
any longer. With that, shesent the ring back to him.In return, the guy
sent millions and millions of reply and countless phone calls. All the
girl could do besides crying isstill crying... The parents decided to
move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything and be
happy.
With a new environment,the girl learnt sign language and started a new life.
Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her
friend came and told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to
let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore
news of him.
A year has passed and her friend came with an envelope, containing an
invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When
she opened the letter, she saw her name on it instead. When she was
about to ask her friend what was going on, she saw the guy standing in
front of her...
He used sign language to tell her, "I've spent a yearto learn sign
language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise.
Let me have the chance to be your voice. ILove You." With that, he
slipped the ring back intoher finger. The girl finallysmiled...
Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, thenyou'll know how to Give.
Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how to Treasure.
Treasure what you have right now, or else may regret one day...

Secret to True Love: Meaning of True Love in Islam

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were
sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filledthe palm of her hand
with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this
water carefully containedon my hand? It symbolizes Love."
This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and
allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you
attempt to close your fingers round it and try to possesit, it will
spill through thefirst cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...
they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the
water spilling out of your hand,love will retrieve from you. For love
is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people
you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that maytake a lifetime to
truly practice. It is the secret totrue love. To truly practice it,
you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and
yet an unconditional caring.
A good companion is not like the rain, which comes and goes. It's like
the air, sometimes very quite!
If you love something, setit free; if it comes back it's yours, if it
doesn't, it never was. Richard Bach