Shaping your child fiduciallyrequiresprinciples and basics that serve as guidelines and help to raise a generation of true believers who obey Allaah The Almighty and His Messenger,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, in everything from early childhood.
This nurturing should be like light that grows with the child and mixes with his mother's milk.
Guidelines of fiducial upbringing:
1-Teaching monotheism to children:
This means teaching them to utter and understand the Two Testimonies of Faith: "I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, is His Messenger."
Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"When children start speaking, they should be taught how to utter the Two Testimonies of Faith. The first thing that should touch their ears is to know Allaah The Almighty and how to worship Him alone. The parents should teach their children that Allaah The Almighty is above His Throne, looking at them and hearing their words, and that He is with them wherever they go with His Knowledge."]Tuhfat Al-Mawlood Bi Ahkaam Al-Mawlood[
2-Giving due importance to the Noble Quran:
The person in charge of bringing up the child must teach him/her the Quran since his/her early childhood to believe firmly that Allaah The Almighty Is their Lord and that the Quran is the words of Allaah. In this way, the spirit of the Quran will flow in the children's souls and its light will illuminate their thoughts and senses. They will also receive the beliefs that are stated in the Quran at an early age and grow up loving the Quran, implementing its commandments, keeping away from its forbiddances, acquiring its manners and following its methodology.
Ibn Khaldoon, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"Teaching the children the Quran is one of the rites of this religion and the practice of all Muslims everywhere in Muslim lands. This is because its verses, in addition to the Prophetic Hadeeths, deepen faith in the heart and the Quran is the foundation of all skills and knowledge that are to be acquired later."
3-Instilling in children belief that Allaah The Almighty sees us in private and public:
Behaving in accordance with the belief that Allaah The Almighty sees one and knows everything about him is one of the cornerstones that reform the heart of the child and consequently his behavior. This condition is the principle that keeps the child away from sins and violations and appropriate to deepen the spirit of devotion in the child's soul. This is why Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:
}And He is with you )by His Knowledge( wherever you are.{]Quran 57:4[
}Indeed, from Allaah nothing is hidden in the earth nor in the heavens.{]Quran 3:5[
Hence, parents should habituate their child to be conscious that Allaah The Almighty is watching Him while he does anything, thinks about anything, or intends to do anything.
The best educator, who was the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, referred to this important cornerstone when he was asked aboutIhsaan; he answered:"It is to worship Allaah as if you can see Him, for although you cannot see Him, indeed, He sees you."]Al-Bukhaari[
The famous story of the daughter of the milkwoman is one of the best examples that teach the child to be conscious of Allaah The Almighty at all times. The mother wanted to mix milk with water to have more profit, but her daughter reminded her that the Commander of the Believers had banned this practice. The mother countered,"We are inside our house, and the Commander of the Believers cannot see us."Thereupon, she girl answered decisively,"If the Commander of the Believers cannot see us, then surely the Lord of the Commander of the Believer sees us."
4-Instilling the spirit of submissiveness and servitude to Allaah The Almighty in the children:
Submissiveness to Allaah The Almighty requires two components: the first is realizing the greatness of Allaah The Almighty and that He is the Mighty Lord, and to know man's weakness and negligence. The second component is that man's soul can never feel tranquility without absolute love for and submission to Allaah The Almighty. To instill submissiveness and servitude to Allaah The Almighty in the children, we have to open their eyes to see the miraculous ability of Allaah The Almighty and His vast dominion over everything, whether large or small, living or inanimate, and so on.
When the heart recognizes this, it will have no choice but to surrender and shiver out of reverence for Allaah The Exalted.
In such a case, the soul will certainly fear Allaah The Almighty and taste the sweetness of worship of Allaah The Almighty deeply.
It is advisable for the parents to help their children understand the phenomena of the universe and the role of the Divine Power that creates, organizes and then disposes of them.
Children learn that the sun vaporizes water, then wind moves vapor, then low temperatures condenses water vapor, and so on. The parents should explain to them that these phenomena do not work alone, but rather with the power of Allaah The Greatest, who created and organized such phenomena and gave them the ability to do so.
Parents should help their children to understand the matters of the unseen through giving them material examples. This is a Quranic approach and it appeals to the children who can understand it easily. This approach will enable us to instill faith in the children through conviction and evidence.
5-Instilling the spirit of seeking the help of Allaah The Almighty:
Young children are weak and helpless and they have their own problems, which may be psychological, social, or related to their schooling. These problems vary in size, and the only way to pacify the children and alleviate their pain is to instill in them the necessity of seeking the help of Allaah The Almighty who is able to solve all problems. Therefore, reliance on Allaah The Almighty and asking Him for help achieve stability for the children and develop their tendency to rely on Allaah The Almighty in the souls of young children. This feeling connects the child to Allaah The Almighty in all his conditions. The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, would teach children, like 'Abdullaah ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, when he was still young, that he should always rely on Allaah The Almighty.
6-Habituating the child to surrender to Allaah the Almighty and obey Him and His Messenger,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam:
Parents must explain to their children, from their early childhood, that it is necessary to surrender to the rulings and commandments of Islam. They should teach them that Islam means surrender to the Commandments of Allaah The Almighty and that they are not allowed to judge religion based on their own opinions or reasoning.
They have to know that reasoning has limits and cannot comprehend all religious matters. They should teach the child that a true Muslim is the one who implements the commandments ofSharee'aheven if he does not recognize the rationales behind them. Shaykh Muhammad Qutb, may Allaah preserve him, says in his book "Manhaj At-Tarbiyah Al-Islaamiyyah":
It is very beautiful thing to convince the child of the rationale and wisdom behind what he is doing, because this is closer to the heart and more fruitful than implementation without conviction.
However, it is absurd for parents to make compliance with the truth contingent upon the child's conviction because the methodology of the correct Islamic nurturing is based on obedience to Allaah The Almighty, which entails surrender whether or not one recognizes the rationale, and whether or not he is convinced by it. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should ]thereafter[ have any choice about their affair.{]Quran 33:36[
They should teach the child that the Muslim has the right to ask 'why' regarding anything except the Commandments of Allaah The Almighty and His Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. In such a case, he is expected only to obey and surrender.
At the same time, this is not intended to give the parents full control over the child just to habituate him to be obedient to them all the time, because this will lead to either rebellion or submission and both of them are undesirable. This means that parents should not overburden the child with orders.
Hence, instilling obedience to Allaah The Almighty and the Messenger, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, in the children from early childhood is a very important issue. They should tell them the stories that support this principle in a way that suits their cognitive abilities. These stories include the story of Haajar, may Allaah exalt her mention, whom Ibraaheem, may Allaah exalt his mention, left in a barren desert with her baby Ismaa'eel. He left both of them in Makkah, which was a barren desert that has no plants, trees, wells, rivers, animals or residents at that time.
When he was about to leave, she asked him; "How will you leave us here without food or water? Did Allaah The Almighty Command you to do so?" Ibraaheem, may Allaah exalt his mention, answered in the affirmative. Thereupon, Haajar, may Allaah exalt her mention, commented,"Then, He will never let us down."
They should also tell them the story of Ismaa'eel, may Allaah be pleased with him, with his father on the Day of Slaughter, and similar stories that deepen the concept of surrender and obedience in the children.
)To be continued(
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