Women site, - Compatibility between Spouses – I

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What does it mean?
Compatibility amounts to equality and similarity. In aHadeeth)Prophetic narration(, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Muslims are equal in their inviolability of life."]Abu Daawood[
Compatibility in marriage means equality and closeness between the spouses in terms of religiosity and morality, as well as social and financial aspects. Compatibility between the spouses certainly contributes to the success of their marriage, whereas lack of compatibility causes a sort of aversion and leads to separation and discord.
Compatibility includes:
Compatibility in religion: It is considered the foundation of a marriage, and it even constitutes a condition for its validity, according to the unanimous agreement of scholars. Therefore, it is not permissible for a woman to marry a non-Muslim by consensus. A guardian should not give a righteous woman, who is in his charge, in marriage to a Muslim, yet corrupt man. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Wicked women )are( for wicked men, and wicked men )are( for wicked women; and good women )are( for good men, and good men )are( for good women.{]Quran 24:26[
Though this condition is not a requisite for the validity of the marriage contract, it is very important to consider it. Sometimes the guardian of the woman gives her in marriage to a wicked man and prefers him to a religious man because the wicked man is wealthy or has a high position. The wicked man may work in unlawful jobs, turning away from obedience to Allaah The Almighty and neglecting His Orders. Such guardians will be held accountable before Allaah The Almighty for destroying their daughters.
It was narrated on the authority of Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Allaah will ask every caretaker about everything that was entrusted to him, whether he preserved it or wasted it, and He will ask the man about his family."]Ibn Hibbaan[
InBidaayatul-Mujtahid wa Niyaayatul-Muqtasid, Ibn Rushd, may Allaah Have mercy upon him, said,"The Maaliki School of Fiqh states that when the father gives his virgin daughter in marriage to a man who consumes intoxicants )liquor( or a wicked man in general, the daughter has the right to prevent him from establishing conjugal relations with her. In such instances, the judge should investigate the case and separate them. The same ruling applies to the woman whose father gave her in marriage to a man whose money is ill-gotten or who frequently swears by divorce."
Compatibility in family background: the majority of scholars take this type of compatibility into consideration, with the exception of Imaam Maalik, may Allaah have mercy upon him.
Compatibility in wealth: Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Men are in charge of women by ]right of[ what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend ]for maintenance[ from their wealth.{]Quran 4:34[ This is considered by both the Hanafi and Hanbali scholars as well as in one opinion of the Shaafi‘i scholars.
Compatibility in freedom: Both the Hanafi and Hanbali scholars considered compatibility in freedom, with the exception of Imaam Maalik, may Allaah have mercy upon him.
Compatibility in work and profession: This is considered by the Hanafi, Shaafi‘i and Hanbali scholars.
Freedom from defects )intolerable defects(: This is considered by the Maaliki and Shaafi‘i scholars as well as Ibn ‘Aqeel, may Allaah have mercy upon him, from the Hanbali scholars.
However, there is a question in this regard: Is compatibility a condition for the validity of marriage? Scholars hold two opinions in this matter.
First:Compatibility is not a condition for the validity of marriage. This is the preponderant opinion, which represents the opinion of the majority of scholars, including Abu Haneefah, Maalik, Ash-Shaafi‘i and Ahmad, may Allaah have mercy upon them, in one of his two opinions. This was also reported on the authority of ‘Umar and Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with them.
The following is evidence that supports this:
·The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave Zaynab bint Jahsh, may Allaah be pleased with her, )who was from the Banu Asad, which was one of the noblest Arab sub-tribes( to Zayd ibn Haarithah, may Allaah be pleased with him )who was an ex-slave(. The story was mentioned in the Quran. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And ]remember, O Muhammad[, when you said to the one on whom Allaah bestowed favor and you bestowed favor, "Keep your wife and fear Allaah," while you concealed within yourself that which Allaah Is to disclose. And you feared the people, while Allaah has more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd had no longer any need for her, We married her to you.{]Quran 33:37[
·The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, )who was from the Banu Haashim( gave his two daughters in marriage to ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, )who was from the Quraysh. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah selected Kinaanah from the sons of Ismaa’eel, and selected Quraysh from Kinaanah, and selected Banu Haashim from the Quraysh and He selected me from Banu Haashim."]Muslim[ Thus, the one who is from the Banu Haashim is higher in lineage than the one who is from the Quraysh. Nonetheless, the marriage was concluded and became valid.
·The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave Faatimah bint Qays, may Allaah be pleased with her, )who was from the Quraysh( to Usaamah ibn Zayd, may Allaah be pleased with him, )who was an ex-slave(. When Faatimah, may Allaah be pleased with her, came to consult the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,about her proposals of marriage from Mu‘aawiyah and Abu Jahm, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“As for Mu’aawiyah he is a poor man and has no property, while Abu Jahm does not put down his cane from his shoulder )i.e. frequently beats his wives(. So, marry Usaamah.”]Muslim[
·Boasting of family backgrounds is a bad habit of the pre-Islamic era. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Maalik Al-Ash‘ari, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"My Ummah has four characteristics that belong to the pre-Islamic era, which they will not abandon: boasting of noble ancestries, vilifying other peoples' genealogies, seeking rain by stars and wailing."]Muslim[
·Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allaah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allaah is All-Encompassing and Knowing.{]Quran 24:32[ Poverty at the time of marriage does not hinder the marriage because it is probable that money will be gained in the future.
·Abu Sa‘eed, may Allaah be pleased with him, said that Zaynab, the wife of Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with them, said:"O Prophet of Allaah! Today you ordered people to give charity and I had an ornament and intended to give it as charity, but Ibn Mas‘ood said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else.’ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied:‘Ibn Mas‘ood spoke the truth. Your husband and your children have more right to it than anybody else.’"]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ This indicates that she was wealthier than Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him. Allaah knows best. Besides, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, concluded the marriage of a poor man, who had only hisIzaar)lower garment(, to the woman who offered herself to the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Moreover, Bilaal, may Allaah be pleased with him, married the sister of ‘Abdul-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, may Allaah be pleased with him.
·Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,"Abu Hind cupped the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in the middle of his head. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:'O Banu Bayaadhah, marry Abu Hind )to your daughters(, and ask him to marry )his daughters( to you. '"Abu Hind was an ex-slave of the Banu Bayaadhah, not from them, and was working as a cupper. Cupping was considered the most menial profession at that time.
·‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said,"I paid the price of Bareerah's manumission, but her family put the condition that her inheritance would be for them. She mentioned this to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he gave her the choice to leave or remain with her husband. Bareerah said, ‘Even if he gave me such-and-such )money(, I would not stay with him."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ In another narration on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Why do you not return to him?"She said,"O Messenger of Allaah! Do you order me to do so?"He said:"No, I only intercede for him."She said, "I do not want him."]Al-Bukhaari[ The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would not intercede to ask her to return to her slave husband unless the marriage was valid.
This is the first opinion with the proofs that compatibility is not a condition for the validity of marriage.
Second: Compatibility is a condition for the validity of marriage )the less preponderant opinion(, which represents the view of Imaam Ahmad, may Allaah have mercy upon him, in his well-known opinion, Ath-Thawri, may Allaah have mercy upon him, and some Hanafi scholars. They mentioned a list of proofs most of which are not authentic. Even the authentic proofs do not explicitly stipulate compatibility, nor do they overcome the texts mentioned above.
After a deep study of the case, Islam does not stipulate compatibility between the spouses except in terms of religion and morals. Also, compatibility requires that the spouses are free from defects which hinder the fulfillment of the purposes of marriage in Islam, such as, when the husband is impotent or abstains from intercourse with women or is bisexual. Therefore, Islam did not stipulate compatibility in family background, as we mentioned earlier.
Moreover, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, married Safiyyah bint Huyayy, may Allaah be pleased with her, who was a Jew, and married Juwayriyyah bint Al-Haarith, may Allaah be pleased with her, while her family members were polytheists. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave his daughter Zaynab, may Allaah be pleased with her, in marriage to Abu Al-‘Aas ibn Ar-Rabee‘, may Allaah be pleased with him, and Al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him, married a non-Arab woman from Persia who gave birth to his son ‘Ali Zayn Al-‘Aabideen, may Allaah have mercy upon him.

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