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assalamu alikum.i have problem in choosing a spouse that for me.i'm 30 in age. i have 2 married elder sisters and a younger sister.i expect my spouse must be religious,educated with proper job .but we have some other problems.1- father retired from job because of illness.so sister spend for us.she tells only she can't spend.2-younger sister has to marry. 3- we are facing some problems here in searching spouse matching in age.because men) not all but many( expect women should be below 25 in age,pretty even they are not religious.religious men also expect like this even women are religious.many women in our country,srilanka,are educated,doing job.so they are late to get marry and they expect educated spouse.because to mutual understanding,their respect.4- our parents are innocent so they are not hard working in searching spouse.that;s their weakness.in my case i'm in 30,i'm a teacher and doing post graduates.our family is very religious.for above mentioned problems our family members try to give marry me to who ever it is even i don't like.i don't like materialistic life .i never did wrong things and never went in wrong way.i always pray isthihara ,haja,ask du'a.but i can't take a decision.aii are forcing me.i never like this.why i can't choose as i like without go out from islam.islam have given rights to women in this case.if i refuse they scold and hurt badly.and tell other relatives about me.all have bad view on me.i may have weakness .i faced all these patiently.but now my mentality is very bad. i can't control my mind.i don't know what i will do myself.in this situation are my expectations and likes wrong or right?i think it's better if i can search some one my own.so give me a reply based on qur'an and sunnah .and rights of women in choosing spouse.why can't expect educated,good earning,smart guy with first choice as religious. jazakumullah
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His Slave and Messenger.
We have already clarified with evidence the permissibility for a woman to look for a righteous husband to marry provided the Islamic limits are observed, and this is in Fatwa 82471. The most important thing a woman should look for in the men who propose to marry her is religion and moral conduct. However, it is permissible for her to wish for other good traits.
Nonetheless, she should not be so stubborn about such traits that the marriage ends up being delayed and she stays unmarried and has regrets. For more benefit on the qualities of a pious husband, please refer to Fatwa 84221.
The parents – let alone other people – have no right to force an adult daughter to marry someone she does not like, as this is a matter pertaining to her life. She is the one who will taste the sweetness or bitterness of marriage, especially as married life is a long journey and not a temporary matter.
Allaah Knows best.
assalamu alikum.i have problem in choosing a spouse that for me.i'm 30 in age. i have 2 married elder sisters and a younger sister.i expect my spouse must be religious,educated with proper job .but we have some other problems.1- father retired from job because of illness.so sister spend for us.she tells only she can't spend.2-younger sister has to marry. 3- we are facing some problems here in searching spouse matching in age.because men) not all but many( expect women should be below 25 in age,pretty even they are not religious.religious men also expect like this even women are religious.many women in our country,srilanka,are educated,doing job.so they are late to get marry and they expect educated spouse.because to mutual understanding,their respect.4- our parents are innocent so they are not hard working in searching spouse.that;s their weakness.in my case i'm in 30,i'm a teacher and doing post graduates.our family is very religious.for above mentioned problems our family members try to give marry me to who ever it is even i don't like.i don't like materialistic life .i never did wrong things and never went in wrong way.i always pray isthihara ,haja,ask du'a.but i can't take a decision.aii are forcing me.i never like this.why i can't choose as i like without go out from islam.islam have given rights to women in this case.if i refuse they scold and hurt badly.and tell other relatives about me.all have bad view on me.i may have weakness .i faced all these patiently.but now my mentality is very bad. i can't control my mind.i don't know what i will do myself.in this situation are my expectations and likes wrong or right?i think it's better if i can search some one my own.so give me a reply based on qur'an and sunnah .and rights of women in choosing spouse.why can't expect educated,good earning,smart guy with first choice as religious. jazakumullah
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His Slave and Messenger.
We have already clarified with evidence the permissibility for a woman to look for a righteous husband to marry provided the Islamic limits are observed, and this is in Fatwa 82471. The most important thing a woman should look for in the men who propose to marry her is religion and moral conduct. However, it is permissible for her to wish for other good traits.
Nonetheless, she should not be so stubborn about such traits that the marriage ends up being delayed and she stays unmarried and has regrets. For more benefit on the qualities of a pious husband, please refer to Fatwa 84221.
The parents – let alone other people – have no right to force an adult daughter to marry someone she does not like, as this is a matter pertaining to her life. She is the one who will taste the sweetness or bitterness of marriage, especially as married life is a long journey and not a temporary matter.
Allaah Knows best.
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