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Protective jealousy is an innate noble characteristic upon which a sound person whom Allaah has honored and favored was created. Islam elevated the rank of this sublime trait and laudably mentioned it to the extent that it considers defending one's honor and being protectively jealous about inviolable matters a type of Jihaad. For this, a person may offer everything and sacrifice his soul, and such a person would be at the same rank as the martyr in Paradise. It was narrated on the authority of Sa‘eed ibn Zayd, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he said, “I heard the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saying:‘A person who is killed while protecting his property is a martyr, a person who is killed while defending his life is a martyr, a person who is killed while defending his religion is a martyr, and a person who is killed while defending his family is a martyr.’
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The Meaning of Protective Jealousy
It is a change in the state of the heart and feelings of anger that arise due to a person's feeling that others might share or aspire to share something that he owns. This feeling appears among the spouses. Both men and women share this instinct, although the protective jealousy of women is greater. This feeling becomes more intense when the woman feels that her husband is betraying her or that he desires another woman. Likewise, the man feels the same when he has suspicions regarding his wife's behavior or feels that she desires other men.
Protective Jealously from the Sharee'ah Viewpoint
For both men and women, protective jealousy, when called for and shown in a moderate way, is a praiseworthy trait and it is a necessity for spouses in order that they can live in kindness. Each of them also has to consider the protective jealousy of the other and know that every matter has a moderate and sensible point between its two extremes. It was proven that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“There is jealousy that Allaah loves and jealousy that He hates. There is pride that Allaah loves and pride that He hates. The jealousy that Allaah loves is jealousy regarding a matter of suspicion. The jealousy that He hates is jealousy regarding something that is not doubtful. The pride that Allaah loves is a man's pride when fighting and when giving in charity. The pride that Allaah hates is that shown in oppression and boasting.”]Ahmad and others, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Protective Jealousy is an Indication of Manliness
Protective jealousy, when justified and shown in a moderate manner, is an indication of true manhood. It leads to the protection of honor, the safeguarding of sacred ordinances, the veneration of the symbols of Allaah, and the promotion of adherence to the limits that He has set. It denotes the strength of one's faith and shows that it is instilled in his heart. Little wonder then that unethical practices, impermissible exposure of women's beauty, immorality and licentiousness prevails throughout the western world and other similar communities. The reason behind this is either the lack of or the complete absence of protective jealousy.
Even in the pre-Islamic era, this characteristic prevailed among the Arabs who experienced the meanings of these virtues. They would be protectively jealous even about their neighbors' honor from their own desires. Manly zeal could also drive these people to incite wars for the sake of any assault against a woman, to protect her honor, or in response to her seeking refuge. The cause of the war of Al-Fijaar that broke out between the Arabs was that a group of youth from Banu Kinaanah saw a woman in the market of ‘Ukaath and asked her to uncover her face, and when she refused they began mocking her. Thereupon, she screamed, “O people of ‘Aamir!” Immediately their fighters responded to her request. The tribe of Kinaanah stood to defend their youth. The tribe of Hawaazin stood on the side of Banu ‘Aamir and Quraysh stood on the side of Kinaanah, which resulted in a countless number of victims and much bloodshed.
Excessive Protective Jealousy
Excessive jealousy is a source of trouble for the person and those around him. Many so-called honor-related crimes are committed due to rumors. This extent of jealousy, which is hazardous, may drive a person to kill others without any justification or sound evidence for his action. This happens in many places. Some husbands have the disease of bitter doubts which turns their marital life into unbearable turmoil. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, forbade that a man should unexpectedly come to his wife at night, doubting her fidelity and probing into her lapses. ]Muslim[ It is improper for a husband to have no confidence in his wife, and he should not be excessive in monitoring her each and every action. There is no doubt that such behavior damages the marital relationship and severs what Allaah The Almighty has ordered to be joined.
‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with him, would say, “Do not have excessive jealousy over your wives such that you would cause them to be slandered.” Also, Mu‘aawiyah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, “There are three characteristics of nobility: Forgiveness, having a flat abdomen and avoiding excessive protective jealousy.”
Therefore, moderation in this regard is very important and the limits of the required protective jealousy are determined by the texts of the Sharee'ah. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah becomes jealous and the believer also becomes jealous. Allaah becomes jealous when the believer commits what He has forbidden.”]Al-Bukhaari[
Protective jealousy is required if women violate the prohibitions of Allaah The Almighty, and in this case such jealousy is praiseworthy. Conversely, being void of such jealousy in these situations is dispraised and is the cause of a person being prevented from entering Paradise. The proof of this is what was narrated on the authority of ‘Ammaar ibn Yaasir, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“There are three types of people who will never enter Paradise: A Dayyooth, a woman who assumes a masculine attitude and an alcoholic.”His Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, we know what an alcoholic is, but what is a Dayyooth?” He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied:“He is the person who does not care who has private access to his womenfolk.”The Companions asked, “Who are the women who assume a masculine attitude?” He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied:“They are women who imitate men.”
Considering the Protective Jealousy of Others
When a man feels the pain of a loss or jealousy when his friend forsakes him and befriends someone else, then we should consider the jealousy of the mother-in-law. A mother in this situation feels as if she has lost her son to someone else, after having cared for him throughout his entire life and sacrificed every dear and precious thing to make him a man of consequence in this life. Also, just as the person feels jealous over his wife, he should consider her jealousy over him. It is improper to show his admiration for other women, not to mention narrating his pre or post-marital relationships, as this is not a source of pride. Rather, a person should keep it hidden, repent from such an act if they have happened, and adhere to Sitr )covering and protection(.
A woman should also control herself as much as she can, otherwise her jealousy would be irrepressible. Commenting on the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And they will have therein purified spouses.{]Quran 2:25[, Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “They are purified from menstruation, urination and any harm that afflicts women in this world. Their souls are also purified from jealousy, wanting to harm their husbands and desire for other men.”
The Jealousy of Allaah The Exalted
Sharee'ah texts prove that Allaah The Exalted becomes jealous . His jealousy is a fact and He becomes jealous in a manner that befits His majesty and perfection. A manifestation of His Jealousy is His dislike that His slave should fall into acts of disobedience or associate anything in what is due solely to Him in terms of obeying His commands and avoiding His prohibitions. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah becomes jealous and the believer also becomes jealous. Allaah becomes jealous when the believer commits what He has forbidden.”]Al-Bukhaari[ In another Hadeeth, he , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“No one is more jealous than Allaah The Almighty. Because of His jealousy, Allaah has prohibited immorality, both apparent and concealed, and no one likes to be praised more than Allaah The Almighty.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ Another narration of this Hadeeth states:“The believer gets jealous and Allaah is even more jealous.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It was narrated in a Hadeeth that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to his Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, about one of them:“Are you surprised at Sa‘d's jealousy over his honor? By Allaah, I am more jealous over my honor than he is over his, and Allaah is more jealous than I am.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
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