time, or rather your timeliness. When we were younger, our parents
determined when we got to school and how early or late we were. They
helped us to dress and get ready, and we were under their control.
Then, as we got older, we gained some of our own independence, but
then, many women get married and then their control over their time is
not their own again.
The hours in their day are not necessarily their own. Whether it is
reporting to work by a certain time, dropping kids off to school by a
certain time, or even preparing breakfast for yourself and hubby
before you and he go off to work, all this requires you to have
something done by a certain time. This requires punctuality.
One of the hardest habits in life to master seems to be punctuality.
Many of us can juggle all that life throws our way, from jobs, to
marriage, to kids, but when it comes to handling all of this in a
timely manner, some of us fall short. Most of us remember being late
to school as children, running around our homes looking for our
homework or our shoes. Asking our moms where we put our jackets. Why
were we always late? Then, we grew up and got to college or started
working and still made it just in the nick of time, barely there
before our boss could check the clock. Or we would slide into our
college desks just as the professor began to lecture or pass out the
test papers.
Why is that most of us are habitually late, not just for work or
school, but in many other aspects of our lives?
More importantly, what can we do as women of the house for our
families and for ourselves to break this cycle of perpetual
procrastination and everlasting tardiness?
Practicing punctuality in practically everything
In everything we do, from the moment we rise, we should practice
punctuality. Our priorities should incorporate timeliness and
reliability in all aspects of our daily activities. Actually, there is
probably little or nothing that doesn't require or could not benefit
from our promptness.
Performing Responsibilities with Regularity
This is the most common area of procrastination in that this is where
most of us are guilty. Sometimes, some of us develop over the years an
"I'll do it later" attitude and we begin to procrastinate in our
duties, from the small to the large ones. We begin to put off the
laundry until it accumulates and spills over the basket; we allow the
dishes to pile up in the sink and then get that sinking feeling in our
stomachs as we are elbow deep days later in greasy dishwater. We are
up late the night before a big test because we delay studying until
the last minute; we can actually put off –anything and everything –all
errands, all chores, all duties and responsibilities. But should we?
No, rather we should try to perform our duties as soon as possible.
This is best for us in many ways.
1. We can get accomplished what needs to be done and get on with our
other obligations.
2. We can do a better job by giving ourselves ample time.
3. We can set a good example for our families by showing them that we
take our responsibilities seriously. If they see that we
procrastinate, they may take that to mean neglect.
4. Promptness leads to consistency.
As the woman of the household, there are many responsibilities that
rest on our shoulders. If we can avoid procrastination, we prevent
that over-whelming burden of feeling as if we are always `falling
behind' in our housework, in our schoolwork, in our errands, in
everything that gets to be too much for us.
Punctuality in Worship
As Muslim women we cannot, however, let domestic responsibilities and
duties as wife, mother, and even student or professional prevent us
from worshipping Allaah punctually, at the right time and with the
right intentions. This specifically refers to, but is by no means
limited to, prayer. Performing our prayers at their appointed times
and with conviction is essential to living life in the best possible
way and setting the best example for our families.
One of the first things that we do in the morning and unquestionably
the most important activity of the day is prayer, which not only
benefits from punctuality but requires it. The Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, was asked "What deed is most beloved by Allaah?;
and he answered, "To offer each prayer as soon as it is due."
Punctuality in performing the prayer means that we drop the dishes
)not literally( to offer it when it is due, make sure to do it before
we pick up the kids from school if possible, make it at the office if
need be, make it at school; whenever its time is due, we must rise to
offer it.
The prayer is not the only form of worship that benefits from
punctuality: Duaa is a significant form of worship for which
punctuality and timeliness is integral. Forms of Duaa like the
Istikhaarah prayer and others for thankfulness and Tawbah should be
offered at the right time for maximum benefit. Similarly, paying
Zakaah is another form of worship for which timing could mean
everything, especially for those whom the charity could benefit. For
example, when we donate money at a fundraiser for a particular cause,
the amount of money that we give at that particular time is imperative
for that specific cause. We can make plans to give and donate, but if
we do not actually do it when it matters, it does not count. The key
is to do it and do it exactly when it can generate maximum benefit.
For those in need, timing is everything.
Reliability in Relationships
Timing is key for relationships as well as worship. However, for some
odd reason, people have the tendency to take relationships for
granted. We make them and then assume that they will last; that they
do not require any or much upkeep. As women though, we should know
that this is not true and to maintain healthy and happy relationships
with all who are close to us, we have to work at it regularly and
consistently. This means that we have to be one step ahead of crises.
Women know that emotions rage strong and can come between two people.
Therefore, it is imperative that we remain steadfast in our efforts to
maintain our relationships to the extent that we desire. In other
words, our relationships with our spouse, our parents, our children,
our friends, and anyone who means anything to us require effort. In
order for us to ensure that these relationships remain healthy, we
have to be punctual in handling issues as they arise. Think about your
most recent and significant disagreement you might have had with your
spouse or parent or child. If you might have dealt with it
immediately, could you have eliminated the problem or significantly
decreased the problem? Maybe you and a friend had a little
disagreement. You feel a bit annoyed and decide that it is better to
not bring it up again, but of course, you still feel upset about the
situation. You hesitate handling the situation immediately because you
feel that it might just `wash over' and that it will be forgiven and
forgotten soon enough. However, we all know that most women do not
function that way.
Many people have too strong of a memory to forget anything until it
has been worked through and talked through and true forgiveness has
been reached.
Sometimes, women have a tendency of ignoring sticky situations that
are emotionally charged; we are hesitant to deal with issues that
negatively affect our relationships. However, this is dangerous in
that it could prolong the inevitable and make a small problem worse.
As is the case with most situations, procrastination is not such a
great idea. On the contrary, punctuality is probably the best way to
abate any long term crises. This is one of the reasons the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, gave so much advice against breaking
off ties. For example, he said,"There should be no breaking off of
ties, no turning away from one another, no hating one another, and no
envying one another. Be brothers )and sisters(, as Allaah has
commanded you."]Muslim[ Because anger may strike women )and of course
men( at times of emotional weakness, Islam allows three days as a
reasonable length of time during which anger may subside.
As difficult as it may seem, whether we are dealing with our chores,
our personal worship, or with our relationships, it is best for us to
deal with the situation as soon as possible and `nip it in the bud.'
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