For children, - How a Little Boy Learned to Restrain His Anger and Bad Temper or Nails in the Fence

This is one of those timeless moral stories that teach the importance
of restraining bad temper or anger management as per the teachings of
Islam.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he
must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy
had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he
learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his
temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all and
learned how to control anger and bad temper. He told his father about
it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for
each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the
young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were
gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said,
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The
fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave
a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it
out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is
still there.
The next time you get angry with someone and are about to speak, ask
yourself if there was a way to say what you want to say with neutral
words. Often the habit of reacting angrily is just that - a habit you
learned when you were young and haven't questioned since. You might
have become blind to the effect it has on your life.
It is really so that the world reflects back your own attitude. If you
constantly wonder why people are angry at you, perhaps it is you who
treated them with anger first. Listen to the words and tone of voice
you use. And try; really try to speak neutrally to someone who is
angry with you. If you know it will be difficult, write the words down
first. Rehearse it in your mind. Decide on a prize you will get from
Allah (SWT) when you succeed.
Teach your mind intentionally to use respectful words. And you just
might find that life begins to feel a lot nicer - because people
aren't angry at you anymore.
Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)mentions the tonguebefore the hand. As
everybody knows, the 'wounds' caused by the tongue are deeper and more
hurtful than those caused by the hand. Besides, one is often prepared
to strike more readily, easily and more frequently with one's tongue
than with the hand. Slandering, backbiting, reproaching and other
similar ways of hurting people are commoner and more difficult to
avoid than hurt done by the hand. Further, if a person can refrain
from hurting with the tongue, he can more easily refrain from the
assaults by the hand. Again, defending oneself against physical
assaults is, in most cases, easier than against verbal assaults of, in
particular, backbiting and slandering. So, a true Muslim always
restrains his tongue as well as his hand from hurting others.