Aslamalaikum
I am struggling to understand the social system of Islam that governs
the relationship between the two sexes. To my understanding there are
certain shariah factors that define the permissibility of interaction.
1. Purpose of interaction (e.g. Trade, education, employment, dawah,
celebrations etc)
2. Where the interaction takes place (Shariah definitions of Public or Private)
Please could you provide information/opinions (Hanafi) on the following?
Question 1
Is it true that there is no Khalwa in a public place? If one was to
meet a work colleague of the opposite in a shopping mall would you be
able to greet them and have a conversation within the limits of Islam.
Question 2
What are the implications of a Private and Public defined place to the
ruling on social interaction between the sexes?
In a recent charity event the environment was "mixed". I was told this
was permissible on the following basis.
The event was public and open to anybody
The purpose of the event/interaction was for charity and not for social purposes
Seating arrangements were based on family tables.
The actual environment seems similar to certain cultural marriage
ceremonies (free mixing) which are prohibited due to the private
nature of the event.
Does the observation of Hijab by all females have any consequences to
the permissibility of the events, i.e. If all women are covered
appropriately then can there be interaction between the sexes.
Question 3
How does the event's purpose affect the ruling? The Interactions that
occur during trade and transactions, or interaction that takes place
during Islamic/dawah events are they different to those that take
place for purely social purposes?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
I pray that you are in good health and spirits.
I believe that there is a certain amount of confusion about what
constitutes free mixing and what is simply required in the way of
social graces.
Yes, free mixing of the genders is prohibited. However, and I pray one
of our scholars can elaborate further, in today's contemporary Western
societies, it is unrealistic to try to avoid any and all interaction
with members of the opposite sex.
Even when there's a purpose to the interaction, such as business or
work for example, it is inevitable that there will be a social aspect
to this contact.
Question 1
Is it true that there is no Khalwa in a public place? If one was to
meet a work colleague of the opposite sex in a shopping mall would you
be able to greet them and have a conversation within the limits of
Islam?
Khalwa takes place when one man, or more than one man, and one woman
are alone in a place that no one else can enter. Seeing someone in a
shopping mall is not khalwa. If you see a co-worker in a public place,
why would you ignore them? From the Muslim perspective, not talking to
the person may be interpreted as modesty and politeness. However, from
the non-Muslim's perspective, such behavior may be interpreted as
coldness or rudeness. It is important to look at the consequences of
our actions. Certainly a courteous greeting and an polite inquiry
after the person's health goes a long way in giving a good impression
of Islam. Remember that our actions are often interpreted as
representing the religion itself.
Question 2
What are the implications of a Private and Public defined place to the
ruling on social interaction between the sexes?
Certainly, the limits on gender interaction have to be more
scrupulously observed in private. By private, I assume you mean a
private function, such as a wedding. In that type of setting, which is
more conducive to free mixing, it is definitely better to be cautious.
However, I can't comment unless it's on a case-by-case basis. Every
wedding is different. Some weddings are strictly separated. Some are
mixed. Some wedding parties are very observant of hijab and gender
rules and others aren't. If you're in a situation where you're invited
to a wedding and you simply can't get out of it, then you can minimize
your contact with members of the opposite sex or simply not stay long.
As far as public functions are concerned, once again, that depends on
the community and their dynamics. Some public events are strictly
separated with the women sitting behind screens. Other events allow
guests to sit where they want. However, I have noticed that families
usually sit together, while other tables are reserved for single
brothers. This arrangement can work if people keep their interaction
modest and respectful.
However, if you are truly uncomfortable being in a mixed setting, even
if the women are covered, then you can choose not to attend. If it's a
fundraiser, why not drop off your check and keep on going?
Keep in mind that at some point in time you will have to interact with
Muslim sisters who do not observe hijab. As long as you guard your
gaze and observe the same decorum you would with any Muslim sister,
then insha'Allah, things should work out just fine.
Question 3
How does the event's purpose affect the ruling? The Interactions that
occur during trade and transactions, or interaction that takes place
during Islamic/dawah events are they different to those that take
place for purely social purposes?
I'm not sure what you mean by purely social purposes. When there is a
need, there is no problem with brothers and sisters interacting. The
important thing is to strike a balance. For example, you might be
working with sisters in organizing a dawah program. Obviously, you
will have to talk to them. However, you might see the sisters in a
different setting, like someone's house for example. From what I've
observed, people can maintain a good working relationship, but in more
private settings they observe a pleasant and modest distance. So if
you were to see the sisters at a dinner party, for example, you might
just give salaams and give them their space.
I hope this has been helpful.
And Allah knows best.
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